Thread: Depression after surgery

It's been almost a month since I had major surgery, more major than they thought before they opened me up. I think I'm doing okay physically ( scar healing nicely ). But, every so often it hits me that if they hadn't gone in, I might be dead. I know this is a morbid thread, but having never come close to something that actually could have killed me is making me depressed at times. I don't feel like going back to my job. It's almost like it's a wake-up call that time is getting shorter and why waste it doing things you don't like. Has anyone else had this type of experience, a brush with your mortality and humanity.

I am really glad you are alive! When a very close family friend died suddenly, I had a very overwhelming sense of the shortness of life and how important it is to do the things that really matter. It also made me terrified to lose my mother and my husband. You have been through a major life changing event and it seems quite right for you to ask the big "why" questions.

Are you religious or do you have any kind of spiritual philosophy that might help you through this time? It's kind of a spiritual sort of awakening you're having.

I also am glad you are alive!!!

I've come close to death a few times, myself (once during surgery, car accidents). I also tell myself, how short life is, and have many fears.

Was this the first surgery you've ever had?

I've had about 10 major surgeries, and I can tell you, the anesthesia ALONE, will make you VERY depressioned!!!

It will take a while to get it out of your system, it seemed to take almost 3 months for me, each time.
How can I tell?
I lose more hair, and it feels different when I wash it (it's hard for me to describe, kinda of brittle).
I'd use the same shampoo, same water, and it just doesn't want to lather up.
Besides feeling brittle, it's seems harder to wet it down for the shampoo.

All I can say, is give yourself time to heal.

I hope you get to feeling better, and make a FULL recovery soon!
(((Hugs, and Prayers for You)))

I know how you feel actually. My heart stopped when I was being tested to find out why I had been passing out. Luckily, I was already in a heart hospital. I have totally changed the direction of my life since that happened. I decided to be a nurse and also pursue things that I love, such as belly dancing. I don't want to die thinking "what if I had done that.."
I am glad they found your problem when they did. It is kind of like a chance to realize what you really should be doing and pursue your dreams.

I'd also like to add:
The pain pills, and the pain, body healing will make you depressed.
I feel for you! I know you are going through a lot right now!
Try to get your mind on more positive things.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I had a tumor removed more than 10 years ago, and that feeling of a "narrow escape" has had a huge effect on my choices since then--but I think it's been in a good way. Like Mrsnj says, you start to value your own time more, and your priorities might change. I think it's normal to feel depressed when you're going through so much change.

Take care of yourself, and know we're thinking about you.

All of the advice here is good advice. BUT if you are withdrawing from daily activities like your job, your depression needs medical help. Don't be afraid to discuss this with your health care professional. As many people here have mentioned depression is not at all uncommon in the wake of major life events. There are many options for treating depression, including therapy if you don't want to use psychopharmaceuticals.
I'm not saying you shouldn't use this time as an opportunity to reflect on where your life is and where you want to be. Maybe it is time to make a career change. What I am saying is that if your depression is persistent and you are pulling away from your normal routine, its time to get help for a very real, very serious problem.

I had depression when I had my surgery for breast cancer and the follow up chemo treatments. I helped myself out by focusing on the positives in my life and focusing on the things I wanted to change. Going to Egypt is one of the good things I've done that I feel is directly related to my cancer and it's treatment. I probably would have just kept telling myself that I really couldn't afford it and all the other reasons I had why I couldn't go...and I also think I have become a better dancer because of my cancer and the treatments, working at making myself well, mentally and physically, made me really able to focus! AND, the saying "take one day at a time" is especially true in your situation or for anyone going through a life changing event. Right now you're thinking about the things you don't like about your life so maybe you need to get more in touch with the positive things in your life and then your dreams - work at figuring out how to make them happen!


Susan

depression can also be a very common side effect of surgery..esp due to the pain killers they may have prescribed..give yourself time to heal slowly
hugs

I had depression after my breast reduction . I waited over 15 years to get it done and finally got it done. But afterwards I felt less of a woman I kept comparing my size to to other women. Happy about finally fitting into certain bras, outfits, dresses but misrerable obout the scars or shape. I too had depression. Everyone has some sought of depression after any type of surgery. I am deeply sorry you are going though this. It takes time and healing. Thank God you are alive enjoy life now.

I haven't been through it myself per se, but I know people who have, and the thing to do is get yourself some counselling etc to help you through it. You are alive and that is great.

The nearest I have had to this experience, actually, is when I was hospitalised for depression and anxiety at 16. In fact, I was hospitalised due to a psychotic reaction to medication I was on for said depression and anxiety, and it was all pretty vague at the time. About a year or so later I was hit very hard by the realisation that I had been in a psychiatric ward. I got, not depressed exactly but very ruminatory about it and I used to get very upset. To be honest, it probably took me 20 years to get over it, and the dealing came in waves. For instance, in my early 30s it suddenly hit me that my parents poisoned me, because they did what a doctor told them to do. And I was SO ANGRY. I had to work through that.

There's a kind of grieving process associated with illness, which makes no sense whatsoever, because you know in your brain that you should be happy to be well, not miserable because you used to not be well, but it does take time. And again, I do urge seeking support. I had a friend who had what ended up being a fatal illness. What makes me sad is the realisation that in the years she was in remission, she couldn't experience joy because of her terror it would come back. And it did come back, and it did kill her, but she spent five years in fear instead of five years in damn well living while she could.

It probably has something to do with staring down the barrel of mortality. For most of life, we can deny what is coming. But when you lose a loved one or have major surgery, you get a lot closer to the truth and touch the true finite nature of life.

Originally Posted by jesennia

depression can also be a very common side effect of surgery..esp due to the pain killers they may have prescribed..give yourself time to heal slowly
hugs

So true. And the antibiotics etc.

When I had pneumonia and pleurisy they nearly lost me a couple of times and I wasn't responding to oral medication, so four times a day I had a drip of high dose penicillin going into my arm along with a few other choice chemicals. That lasted two weeks then it was six weeks of oral medication.

I had a major bout of depression after that - but none of the "I must change my life stuff" other than to know I needed to slow down (took me a further three years to ACTUALLY slow down though!). I had just changed job and made other positive changes to my life so I didn't go through what you are going through.

BUT being a person who easily gets bouts of depression, due to hormonal activity or chemically-induced as above, one thing with depression of this nature is that you MUST bear in mind that the body sometimes takes a beating in this life and that the brain is part of the body. The brain affects how we feel. When we feel crap the natural tendency is to look for reasons outside (such as "I hate my job", "my friend is a git", "I think I need a divorce"). These things may be needing attention and if this is a wake up call then that's positive. But when you aren't depressed you can cope with them/deal with them rationally and positively. When you are depressed you can't.

It's all too easy to project these horrible feelings (what an understatement that is for depression huh?!) onto outside events and it's paramount that you wait a while before making life changing decisions. Let your body recover from the shock it has, and continues to, endured.

Heal the body first, then take time to make the changes you want. There's no mad rush. The wake up call has taken place but no-ones asking you to change everything just yet. These are big decisions that will affect other people around you too so keep cool for a bit.

Be your own best friend - what would she advise? Rest, self-soothing, time to recover.

I know how you feel and I hope you recover quickly, it's a horrid thing depression. But it's not permanent. And something wonderful always comes out of it in my experience.

xxx