Thread: looking for advice for thick waisted dancer

OK, I am embarassed to even post a picture of myself on here because I know I look crappy (and I have a funny look on my face!), but I am hoping for some advice.

I have a thick stomach- it pokes out really far and then has like a shelf a few inches below my belly button. below the shelf and above my pubic area, things are normal and flat. I am not sure why my body is shaped like this, but I have to deal with it. (I hope this makes sense!)

So when I wear a 2 piece costume, the skirt tends to migrate to the thinnest part, under the shelf, which leaves my belly hanging over the top of my skirt.

Does anyone else have this problem? And if so, what is your solution? I don't want to quit wearing 2 piece costumes because 1-I'm in a troupe and just made new 2 piece costumes for all of us and 2-I just *just* got the costume in the picture and want to wear it (I was thinner when I put it on layaway, but unfortunately most of my weight went right to my stomach ..cr.:)

Any advice? I feel like my only options are wearing a skirt with gut hanging over, or pulled almost up to my belly button and safety pinned to my body stocking. And if that is the case, which looks better?

I think I'm a good dancer but my weight and costuming woes are holding me back (even Fifi Abdo told me this) , so I'm desperate for advice here.

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p.s. I am trying to lose weight but don't want to buy or make new costumes in the meantime and I have a big performance in just over 2 weeks. And, I had this problem (ever since childbirth) even when I was a lot thinner.

Thanks in advance,

amanda

Another shelf sportin' gal here *waves* so I'll just settle in here waiting for advice too!

another P.S.

I am seriously considering a tummy tuck after I've lost some weight, but I also have that huge tattoo on my stomach to deal with.

a word of advice from experience, a tattoo on the stomach is pure bad luck, I was preg within 2 months. my midwife thought it was really funny watching my tattoo grow to huge proportions. It actually survived the pregnancy with little damage, but makes any sort of reconstructive surgery even more complicated. Just don't do it!

Originally Posted by beki

Another shelf sportin' gal here *waves* so I'll just settle in here waiting for advice too!

WTF is up with the shelf? seriously! its so frustrating!

I am thickwaisted (though smaller waisted than I was, proportionately, thanks to many figure 8s) and also have a flat area at the pubis and a roundy bit that pops out above. And unlike you, I have no curve at the behind at all. I say live with it, wear your belt lower rather than higher (the high waisted look makes people seem fatter IMO) and just be out and proud about it. I think that costume looks nice on you.

People with short/thick waists usually look better with more torso exposed, IMO, or alternatively in a Suhair Zaki-ish matching body stocking look (which could also work nicely for that costume). Hauling costumes high or putting drapes and things all over yourself generally just makes you look like a box.

Originally Posted by zumarrad

I am thickwaisted (though smaller waisted than I was, proportionately, thanks to many figure 8s) and also have a flat area at the pubis and a roundy bit that pops out above. And unlike you, I have no curve at the behind at all. I say live with it, wear your belt lower rather than higher (the high waisted look makes people seem fatter IMO) and just be out and proud about it. I think that costume looks nice on you.

People with short/thick waists usually look better with more torso exposed, IMO, or alternatively in a Suhair Zaki-ish matching body stocking look (which could also work nicely for that costume). Hauling costumes high or putting drapes and things all over yourself generally just makes you look like a box.

Blast my short waist! that is the other problem. I do have a black body stocking which I plan to wear with this costume in the future. I couldn't wear it that night due to multiple costumes changes.

but thanks for your nice comment, I really do love this costume (a Hanan) and just got it off layaway with dahlal after nearly a year so I really, really want to wear it more!

Originally Posted by amanda_raqs

WTF is up with the shelf? seriously! its so frustrating!

Yes it is! I am still kinda new. (Danced for a year or so then went on hiatus to have the baby and now that Baby is almost 1 year old, I'm planning my return.)

I was hoping that there is a costume shape or two out there that will minimize the poochiness of my "softer-than-a-down-comforter" belly flap.

I don't dare to dream of performing without a body stocking of some kind. I don't think they make cossies shiny enough to detract from the stretchmarks.

I too am losing weight but I worry that this soft spongy pocket won't go with the weight.

Originally Posted by beki

Yes it is! I am still kinda new. (Danced for a year or so then went on hiatus to have the baby and now that Baby is almost 1 year old, I'm planning my return.)

I was hoping that there is a costume shape or two out there that will minimize the poochiness of my "softer-than-a-down-comforter" belly flap.

I don't dare to dream of performing without a body stocking of some kind. I don't think they make cossies shiny enough to detract from the stretchmarks.

I too am losing weight but I worry that this soft spongy pocket won't go with the weight.

i had my child pretty young and even at my thinnest post-preg (size 6 or so) I still had the overhang. I wasn't one of those lucky preg ladies who get a nice smooth belly afterwards

Originally Posted by amanda_raqs

I wasn't one of those lucky preg ladies who get a nice smooth belly afterwards

I think there are very few of those ladies out there and more of us.

I also think Zumarrad was on to something with her matching body stocking advice and that adding a bunch of bulk on top would be the opposite of slimming.

This is where the old AmCab look is good. My belts tend to sit very low. and if there is fringe on the bra, I try for only a drape down the center. Or if there is fringe on the cups, the fringe is no longer than the bottom of the cups.

In general.

the other thing which I have found helpful is narrow belts.

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

This is where the old AmCab look is good. My belts tend to sit very low. and if there is fringe on the bra, I try for only a drape down the center. Or if there is fringe on the cups, the fringe is no longer than the bottom of the cups.

In general.

the other thing which I have found helpful is narrow belts.

{{{HUGS}}}

Low belts look good on some but unfortunately I also have an unfortunately high butt crack. TMI? but I have flashed it on at least one occasion, ask Sahra! ..l;,. I got nothing going for me but good cleavage!

personally, I don't that skirt shape is flattering at all for your shape. You would look more proportional in something fuller.
I think the shape of the skirt is pulling all of the focus to our middle.

Originally Posted by mrsnj20

personally, I don't that skirt shape is flattering at all for your shape. You would look more proportional in something fuller.
I think the shape of the skirt is pulling all of the focus to our middle.

Ouch, but I appreciate the honest opinion (the skirt is a mermaid style, but you can't really tell from the picture). Here is me in a fuller skirt, but the bra needs to be tighter and hiked up a bit, and the beading is incomplete. This would be my other option for my performance, with some additional work done first, of course.

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I think you look fabulous and I don't think you are thick waisted.

Look at all the curves you have and that tiny waist. I'd kill to have it!

Azeeza

For rounder girls (yup, including myself here), the clingy Lycra skirts are not the best option, because they streamline the lower half of the body and pull the eye to the midriff. The fuller skirts are definitely better for keeping the body looking like it's in proportion.

When is someone going to invent spot reducing???..l;,

That peachy costume looks really pretty on you. And yes, you DO have a waist. You just also have a belly.

See, I like a narrow skirt myself because I have good legs and they're quite slim. Full skirts actually don't look as good on me IMO as they do on people with, ahem, saddlebags, because they just *hang down* from the flat bit below my widest-looking hip curve. They don't make me look slimmer or better proportioned IMO. *Unless* I do the two skirts and tucking the sides thing, which does look quite good on me as it creates an illusion of more volume lower down. Another dancer I know has a similar situation going on only more so - she has baby-belly but her hips are quite small and her legs are *stunning* (think Amaya). She looks lovely in lycra IMO, more so than in a full skirt.

Yes, there are some apple shaped gals here. I am inverted triangle apple since my shoulders and rib cage are wider than my pelvic girdle but then I have the apple shaped mid section too.

If you wear two pieces, wear a net. Look for nets that are the same color as your costume--so blue costume, blue net, etc. The single color helps the keep moving. Go for something with interest in the bottom of the skirt to draw the eye down and around the face bust line to draw the eye up. I like trumpet skirts that flair out at the bottom.

Dresses. I like dresses that have a lot of decoration around the neckline and then visual line of decoration that pulls the eye around the body. Dresses aren't going to fall down either.

Pin your skirts where you want them to be.

Weight loss will help get rid of fat but won't change your overall body shape. But once you lose weight you can decide whether you want a tummy tuck.

Check out Bellydance Costume Goddess Tells All: Enter.

Souzan

Another thick waisted girl here!

I have become a big fan of the body suits - I love them!

I love the skirt style but have a hard time finding something that fits me. I am a bit fleshy around the mid section and anything that pushes against my belly gives me muffintop. All these skirt styles tend to start at 28 - unstretched! Um - sure ok. Not in this lifetime.

That being said, I tend to stick more to the bra and belt style. The body suit helps with my "shelf" a little.

I think the skirt style is very flattering if you can find one that does not squeeze you. I did find one that fit perfectly and - for me who really has no waist and my waist is the same width as my hips - it helped give me a shape.

I should have bought it too but it was black - and I look bad in black. Thinking I will have to get one custom made.

Sorry - venting.

I think that glowy peach costume is 10,000x more flattering to your yummage than the other one--the volume of the skirt completely changes the proportions. I even like the bra style is better!

~~Kimahri

Originally Posted by Kimahri

I think that glowy peach costume is 10,000x more flattering to your yummage than the other one--the volume of the skirt completely changes the proportions. I even like the bra style is better!

~~Kimahri

I agree. That peach is lovely and the full skirt helps balance your body out. I just started reading a new book called STAGING YOUR COMEBACK and there is much discussion about using color blocking to move the eye and put emphasis on where you want the emphasis to be. The peach is so nice with your coloring and just glows.

Have you tried putting extra elastic in the waists of skirts? Maybe on the sides only. I wear hip pads to make a little extra side shelf to keep my skirts up since they slide down over round tummy part.

Originally Posted by amanda_raqs

Ouch, but I appreciate the honest opinion (the skirt is a mermaid style, but you can't really tell from the picture). Here is me in a fuller skirt, but the bra needs to be tighter and hiked up a bit, and the beading is incomplete. This would be my other option for my performance, with some additional work done first, of course.

[IMG][/IMG]

I really like this one on you. The look is pure glam and you look so pretty in that color! What kind of body stocking are you wearing? I really need one! Just a question: has your doc checked you for a hernia? I've heard us gals that have had kids can have them.

I agree, the peach is so much more proportional to you. Sleek lycra is hard to pull off well. I think the secret of wearing a lycra skirt on a larger body is the belt. The minimalist look with little to no fringe on the top of the skirt makes for an abrubt visual boundry. A fab belt pulls the focus to the hips and away from the mid section.

Originally Posted by amanda_raqs

Ouch, but I appreciate the honest opinion (the skirt is a mermaid style, but you can't really tell from the picture). Here is me in a fuller skirt, but the bra needs to be tighter and hiked up a bit, and the beading is incomplete. This would be my other option for my performance, with some additional work done first, of course.

[IMG][/IMG]

This one is gorgeous on you! I wasn't trying to be mean in the earlier post. It's just that the green is right at your waist so that is all people see.
The peach costume doesn't draw the eye to a specific place so people can actually look at your face and long hair instead of being drawn to one spedific part.

I like both costumes on you. I think the angle on the photo of the lime/black costume may not be the best, but I bet if I saw you in person in it, I'd think it was fabo. If you do wear a body stocking (looks like you do), try pinning the skirt to it so it doesn't move on you. Stand in front of a mirror and experiment where the skirt looks best on you. You could even baste the stocking right onto the skirt in a few places and that would make for easier quick changes.

On the lime/black costume, can you put a small gather/tuck in the front center of the skirt to make a slight V shape to it? That might be more flattering than a straight line across your body.

When you do the additional work on the peach costume, consider adding a v shape to the skirt with trim or beading.

I think you look gorgeous and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I think you need to costume yourself in a way that makes you feel on the inside as pretty as you are on the outside. Sometimes that's difficult. Don't be afraid to try new things.

Wait... I did dance in a lycra skirt one time and I had the same problem of it sliding down. I'm guessing they all do it.
Did you put elastic on the inside for grip? That helps it stay in place a little...

I think the shape of the oprange costume is much more flattering to your figure.

How about some accessories, too? Even jewelry? I'm just seeing a bra and a skirt in both photos. I've noticed that fewer/no accessories means the dancer looks more "exposed" to me. Are you open to wearing a coordinating headband in your lovely hair? That can also bring the color (and the viewers' eyes) up to lengthen the look.

Thank you everyone for your comments! I appreciate all the feedback and it sounds like the consensus is that the orange costume looks better. I am flattered because I made that costume (its not done, obviously, but I had to make 6 and finished everyone else's first). I am a little sad because I love my black and green but I think I knew that it wasn't the best fit and I can always put it away for a while until I have lost some weight.

Re: body stockings. I always wear a body stocking. I do have a black one to go with the lycra costume. Someone asked about the body stocking I am wearing with the orange. Its those professional dance fishnets (capezio or danskin, can't remember) with the legs cut off. I like the look and its a little cooler for outside gigs but it doesn't give as much suck-in as the powernet, which is what the other one is.

Re: elastic in the waist. This is something to consider, but I hate muffin top too, so its hard to find that balance between skirt falling down and elastic squeezing my fat. I do pin the skirt in the back and was futzing around with pinning it in the front but couldn't get it to work and not have the pin show. I will have to work on that some more.

Shahla-thanks for the modification ideas, I'll have to try some out on the black and green. I can't really change the orange because its a troupe costume, but I might be able to fix it a little without being too obviously different.

Thanks everyone!

Originally Posted by kiyaana

How about some accessories, too? Even jewelry? I'm just seeing a bra and a skirt in both photos. I've noticed that fewer/no accessories means the dancer looks more "exposed" to me. Are you open to wearing a coordinating headband in your lovely hair? That can also bring the color (and the viewers' eyes) up to lengthen the look.

Thanks for the suggestion, I always forget jewelry! But I hate headbands, they drive me crazy!

Maybe a flower on a comb rather than a headband? And I agree that gauntlets or armbands and some bling will make the outfits look more "finished."