+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 49



  1. #1
    Advanced BHUZzer KelsNasim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,745

    Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Okdokey - Here's the question - Is it OK to borrow a costume for a performance? What about for a competition? I'm not a professional dancer so I can't buy the most fancy costumes. (and in all honesty don't know of anyone my size to borrow from) I was mostly curious because I would like to try a Meleya Leff sometime but would end up buying a costume that I would only wear once. I just want to know if it would be bad to borrow one - especially for a competition.
    Thanks a bundle!


  2. #2
    Advanced BHUZzer JasmineRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1,405

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I am curious about this too. What about borrowing a costume for a paid gig? I have had friends request to borrow some of my beauties for paid gigs that I was not invited to do (2 people always do the gigs but in this instance I was not one of them). I mean, if you aren't gonna ask me to dance with you I'm not about to loan you my expensive costume that I worked my butt off for! Get your own lol (in this case-not talking about you KelsNasim). SOMETIMES I don't mind lending but it has to be for a special purpose/emergency. What does everyone else think? Am I a scrooge?


  3. #3
    Master BHUZzer Lilaravena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Northern Virginia/Washington DC
    Posts
    3,423

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I think it is probably ok to borrow a costume but..

    Who would you borrow it from? Do you have someone you know who would let you do this?

    Would that person mind you wearing a costume and sweating in it? Not to be gross but you may want to clean it after it is used.

    What would you do if the costume gets damaged or stolen? Just make sure that whoever you borrow it from, you make sure you explain your intent and what you would do if it was damaged. I know someone who borrowed a dress for a party. Long story short, a party go-er threw a drink on her. It ruined the dress and she could not replace it.

    Other than that - I see no issue in it though I have a few costumes that I would never ever loan because they are unique.


  4. #4
    Master BHUZzer sabrinabellydancer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    3,775

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    imo absolutely.
    if the "a" list stars can borrow red carpet gowns, why not borrow a competition costume?

    oh, we can have our own belly dance version of rachel zoe! how awesome would that be?


  5. #5
    Advanced BHUZzer Rosette's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Vermont, USA
    Posts
    1,740

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    A competition is about how you present yourself right then, not about whether you own what you're wearing, have worn it before or will ever wear it again. I see no ethical problem at all in wearing a borrowed costume.

    It is important however, really important, that the costume should fit well. A costume malfunction due to poor fit is not good at any time, deadly in a competition.
    Rosette


  6. #6
    Advanced BHUZzer KelsNasim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,745

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Thanks so much. You guys rock.


  7. #7
    Advanced BHUZzer SandraDances's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,385

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I told my best friend "no" once, but it was something I had never worn before and she was totally capable of getting her own, which she did. Now that I have worn it, I wouldn't have a problem loaning it

    Another friend and I wore the same size and we swapped all the time. But we had that type of relationship and our costumes were washable skirts and Costless belts with bras that could survive a nuclear blast.

    With my very expensive pieces, I doubt I would loan them because if something happened to the costume, I would be pretty upset and wouldn't want to hurt a friendship.

    Kelly, in your situation, I think it's ok to ask, since it is a specialty thing, but don't feel bad if they say no.

    Maybe buy one but then sell it?


  8. #8
    Advanced BHUZzer JasmineRose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    1,405

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Quote Originally Posted by SandraDances View Post
    I told my best friend "no" once, but it was something I had never worn before and she was totally capable of getting her own, which she did. Now that I have worn it, I wouldn't have a problem loaning it

    Another friend and I wore the same size and we swapped all the time. But we had that type of relationship and our costumes were washable skirts and Costless belts with bras that could survive a nuclear blast.

    With my very expensive pieces, I doubt I would loan them because if something happened to the costume, I would be pretty upset and wouldn't want to hurt a friendship.

    Kelly, in your situation, I think it's ok to ask, since it is a specialty thing, but don't feel bad if they say no.

    Maybe buy one but then sell it?
    Yeah see my issue was, these people didn't have costumes I could swap with (they didn't even own professional costumes). They have since set about procuring their own....


  9. #9
    Advanced BHUZzer KDizzle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,316

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    a friend of mine is the same size of me and we borrow each other's costumes all the time. But I don't have any super expensive ones and neither does she. We see it as a great way to wear more costumes than keep buying more.
    Last edited by KDizzle; 10-30-2008 at 01:17 PM. Reason: spelling


  10. #10
    Mega BHUZzer gothique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,590

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I have no problem loaning out costumes, or jewelry...but I've learned ONE thing... lay down some ground rules.

    i.e. Please don't spray perfume/hair spray directly on the dress, jewelry, etc.

    I had a beautiful designer necklace marred by hairspray, sprayed directly on the piece (soaked in to the lacquered gems), and when I got the garment back...brown stains...again from the spray, thankfully it washed out.
    I don't think that's asking too much.
    I still loaned (same person) stuff. Just asked her to cover herself from the neck down before she started going nuts with the sprays.
    :-)


  11. #11
    I could get used to this! Zeevah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    197

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    For an alternative view...

    I have loaned costumes for a show. Theoretically, they were to come back to me the instant the dancer completed her set. In reality, however, it's been 18 months and I haven't gotten any of the 3 I loaned out back. I have seen them on the dancers in question, but the ladies disappear when they see me coming with my hands out for my own possessions. Basically, I've now given up on them.

    This is not to say that I won't loan again, or haven't since, but I'm much, much, MUCH more careful about where they go. I've even considered asking for a fee - give me $$ which I shall hold for you until I get my baby back. As a borrower, you might want to consider that option in advance?


  12. #12
    Official BHUZzer wayauwohali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    295

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeevah View Post
    For an alternative view...

    I have loaned costumes for a show. Theoretically, they were to come back to me the instant the dancer completed her set. In reality, however, it's been 18 months and I haven't gotten any of the 3 I loaned out back. I have seen them on the dancers in question, but the ladies disappear when they see me coming with my hands out for my own possessions. Basically, I've now given up on them.

    This is not to say that I won't loan again, or haven't since, but I'm much, much, MUCH more careful about where they go. I've even considered asking for a fee - give me $$ which I shall hold for you until I get my baby back. As a borrower, you might want to consider that option in advance?
    That's terrible


  13. #13
    Mega BHUZzer lylagus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    2,395

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeevah View Post
    For an alternative view...

    I have loaned costumes for a show. Theoretically, they were to come back to me the instant the dancer completed her set. In reality, however, it's been 18 months and I haven't gotten any of the 3 I loaned out back. I have seen them on the dancers in question, but the ladies disappear when they see me coming with my hands out for my own possessions.
    .w.:,f::,m::.p::

    that is horrid!!!!!!!!!!


  14. #14
    Advanced BHUZzer KDizzle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,316

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    that's awful!


  15. #15
    Ultimate BHUZzer tahiradancer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    9,658

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I have loaned costumes out on several occasions. Once it took me a while to get it back, but the others jsut flow back and forth.

    It works.

    {{{HUGS}}}


  16. #16
    A journey of ten thousand miles begins with a single post. Lauren_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    St. Louis, MO, USA
    Posts
    14,560

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I don't think there's anything at all wrong with borrowing a costume, even for a competition.

    But asking to borrow someone's costume is really putting someone on the spot, and I would never, ever do it. Costumes are expensive, they're fragile, and we tend to be VERY emotionally attached to them.

    If someone can't afford to buy a costume, how could they possibly afford to replace one if something awful happened?

    The only time I would borrow a costume is if someone offered it to me. I would never, ever ask.


  17. #17
    Advanced BHUZzer Kathiya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,999

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    ok, i don't have any of those multi-hundred $$ lovlies you girls are talking about.
    but personally, (and this i apply not only to costumes, but to anything i hold dear) i only lend out to my close friends, the people i know best, people i KNOW will take as good care of my stuff as i would. if i have the slightest doubt, i don't lend it.
    the 'receiver' might not be able to offer me the same favor in return, or whatnot, but i trust that my treasure is in good hands, and that i will get it back in perfect shape and in due time.
    to me, that's all that matters.


  18. #18
    Master BHUZzer Surida's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    3,410

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Agree with Lauren, as usual. I hope that no one ever asks to borrow one of my costumes - it would be hard for me to say No but I would want to say no. Speaking of nicer expensive costumes. I could lend out a pair of Melodias or a trumpet skirt without a problem - and have.
    Last edited by Surida; 10-30-2008 at 03:07 PM.


  19. #19
    A journey of ten thousand miles begins with a single post. Zumarrad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Posts
    12,482
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I never lend anything other than circle skirts or hipscarves myself, and even that is rare. It's the same with all clothes - I seldom if ever lend anything, and similarly I seldom if ever borrow.


  20. #20
    Mega BHUZzer eshtabellydance's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    2,922

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    only borrow/swap costumes if you are BFF's. NEVER loan anything out to a non-BFF or else you run a serious risk of never seeing it again.


  21. #21
    Advanced BHUZzer phillyraqs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,978

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren_ View Post
    Costumes are expensive, they're fragile, and we tend to be VERY emotionally attached to them.
    I wouldn't loan out a costume, and have been asked before and said no without hesitating. A costume is a little too personal for me to have someone else wear - as if they are asking to borrow an intimate item from me. (An intimate item that costs $800 brand new. No way.)

    Maybe I would loan out a folkloric costume, a melaya dress, something that maybe was not as expensive and that I do not use all the time ok - like, I have a khalegy dress and I would loan that out. It is very pretty, but not a fancy super expensive one.


  22. #22
    A journey of ten thousand miles begins with a single post. Lauren_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    St. Louis, MO, USA
    Posts
    14,560

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    When I was a noob teacher, I loaned costumes to all my students for their first hafla performance. Amazingly, I had stuff that would fit each of them!

    Then, when one student was ready for her first solo, I loaned her my most expensive costume, my one and only pro costume, a Pharonics. Luckily that went OK.

    But a few months later, I was plunking down 6 months worth of scrimping and saving for a new costume, and that student was present. I was leaving the vending table with my new pretty, hadn't even worn it yet, and she asked if she could borrow it.

    That was the end of me loaning. It has to be offered, from the heart. When people ask, or worse, start assuming, it takes all the fun out of the lending.

    I still lend skirts, scarves, tops, etc. but not costumes.


  23. #23
    Advanced BHUZzer KelsNasim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1,745

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Thanks so much for your input. I would never ask anyone to loan me a expensive costume... I was thinking more the kind that are very specific ( and that I could afford to replace if something happened). Or even maybe go in halfsies (sp?) if we were similar sized. Being 5 feet tall makes it a mute point for me personally. I know women in my troupe who are all very similar sized and BFFs. In their situation I think it could work.


  24. #24
    Ultimate BHUZzer laura 2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    8,525

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I think for me the hardest thing is that I'm sized very differently than many of my dance friends, and in many cases I've put a lot of work into altering my costumes to fit me perfectly. I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone moving hooks or removing padding, even if they offered to put everything back when they were done.

    I'd offer to lend to my meleya dress, Kels, but I don't think you'd be able to get "the twins" in there. ..l;,


  25. #25
    Advanced BHUZzer JeanneLF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,674

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I'm glad to hear some of you say it's OK to decline if someone asks to borrow.

    Years ago someone asked me to lend something. Her request wasn't entirely inappropriate; it was a costume for a troupe number that I normally was in, but not for that particular performance. But I had just gotten it, it was quite distinctive in appearance, and I paid what was then for me a lot of money for it. I just didn't have the heart to let anyone else go on stage in it before I had ever worn it myself. (I actually wouldn't have minded lending it to her later.)

    Afterwards I felt like a selfish person for saying no, and I've thought that way about it for all these years. But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all.


  26. #26
    Master BHUZzer Adishakti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    4,221

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Lending things has gotten me burned many times, so there are very few people I'd lend a costume to, and I would never ask to borrow anything.

    I do have some skirts, veils and hip scarves set aside for student haflas, but that's not the same as a pro costume.

    Why not buy the melaya dress and resell it when you're finished?


  27. #27
    Established BHUZzer Nat242's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    700

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    One of my teachers would lend (offer) things like circle skirts or harem pants if we needed to fit in with the student troupe, and she would hire out bedlahs.

    Personally, I've lent friends coin belts, skirts, harem pants, cholis etc. (for costume parties and the like, I have no close BD friends), but I wouldn't lend out my one and only (inexpensive) costume except to a very close dancer friend, who knew how to care for them.

    I wouldn't ask to borrow an expensive costume, I'd be so worried about something happening to it.


  28. #28
    Advanced BHUZzer najla86's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,642

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    I constantly have people asking me for costumes for Halloween....flat out no, and then if they pester, I say what if you get a drink spilled on it and suddenly owe me at least $300...then they shut up


  29. #29
    Master BHUZzer Sonja2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    3,145
    Blog Entries
    2

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Ask yourself this, I guess...would you ask your best friend if you could borrow her $800 diamond necklace? If you would feel comfortable with that, then it's okay to ask. If not, then don't!


  30. #30
    Advanced BHUZzer resullivan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,441

    Re: Costume Ethics - Borrowing OK?

    Hmmm, we need bellydance costume rental ..g.:


Similar Threads

  1. Costume finished-ish!
    By ozma in forum Belly Dance Beauty & Costuming
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 09-14-2008, 02:58 AM
  2. costume pics needed, discount on matching veils
    By jesennia in forum Belly Dance Beauty & Costuming
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-05-2008, 12:34 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Statistics
  • Threads 41,408
  • Posts 596,516
  • Members 38,205
  • Welcome to our newest member, mamab


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201