Thread: I hate my hair!!!!

I really, really need to do something about my hair. It is very fine and thin and slightly wavy (not in a good looking way) with all these short little stray hairs that frizz up. It is down to my mid back and angled in the front to a little past my collarbone. It has gotten kind of frizzy and dry-ish on the sides in the last month. Very strange since I have not been using different shampoo and I don't fully dry my hair or use products or hot appliances (other than a quick once over with a flat iron to just my bangs). I have been inclined to chop it all off to my collarbone but am hesitant due to the dancing, and the fact that I have never had that short of a hairstyle in my whole life. I would get it layered but my hair is soooooo thin that I am pretty sure I don't have enough hair for that kind of style. Does anyone have any suggestions for a good dancer friendly style for thin, fine hair? Would having some lowlights put in smooth over some of the frizzyness or make it look thicker? I wish I could shave my head and have a sexy, thick mane grow in it's place.... ..l;,

I'm also afraid shorter hair will scream middle age soccer mom. I have a paranoia about looking like a soccer mom.

Have you tried any "Glossier" or "Taming Frizzies" products? I have straight hair that has just enough lightness and fuzz to do what yours does, and I've found those light gels you put on dry hair to help. Tried lots of them, still haven't decided on a fave. Citrishine makes a good one, and so does Garnier.

I have tried all sorts of frizz therapy and glossers from both the drugstore and my hair stylist. No luck with any of them so far. There doesn't seem to be a balance between using enough product to tame my hair but not make it look greasy or heavy. I am just so ready for a change. I have had this same do for 15 years.

I would have to see your hair to offer some suggestions. Without seeing it. I think you should cut at least an inch off. Not too short not too long somewhere in between. Normally when my hair acts up it's time to get cut. I have naturally curly hair and when my curls start looking "blah" as I call it. I know it's time to get it cut. Getting your hair cut in layers is always a good option but it doesn't work for everyone. The bad thing is if you don't like it you have to wait for you hair to grow back and even out. If you do decide to do it don't get it cut too short. That way you are still happy because it's a change. Good Luck. Keep me posted.

I have baby fine straight hair. It doesn't hold a curl and will immediately look like matted fur if I sweat even the tiniest bit.

Long just doesn't work. I tried ubershort/spikey, hoping for an edgy modern look, but it didn't feel feminine and I didn't like it. (maybe when I'm 70 that'll be a great option).

Now I'm wearing it shoulder length with some layers and face-framing bits. This is as good as it gets for me. (chin length looked soccer-momish on me).

For dance, I wear fake ponytails and 3/4 falls. It takes just minutes to do my hair, and I have thick, magnificent shiny bouncy waves that hold up to humidity, sweat, etc.

I'm sure it's not for everyone, but I'm very happy with this option.

Another thought. When my daughter had long hair, it always looked best with the ends cut straight across at a length between her shoulders and her bra line, with a few shorter pieces to frame her face. If the ends were angled, they would look thin and straggly.

To most of us, if we see hair below the shoulders it registers as 'long.' Below the waist is 'superlong.' Anything between the shoulders and waist registers about the same. I've had students cut 6-7" off their hair and no one noticed! But when it's at the shorter end of 'long' it's livelier, bouncier, and less flat around the face.

On most people, when it gets down toward the bottom of the ribcage, the ends look thin and dry and straggly and the top lays too flat. Like too-long fringe on a costume, it takes giant movements to make it swing or bounce. It sometimes seems 'dead' at that length and isn't flattering. Not true for everyone, of course, but a lot of people seem to have this problem.

You describe your hair as slightly wavy. I wonder if you would benefit from the "wavy girl" section of the "Curly Girl" book.
I've got curly hair that was starting to have all sorts of frizz and dryness issues. The Curly Girl book- changing the products I use, NOT using traditional shampoo, changing how I style my hair and changing hair cut (from long layers to a carve and slice sort of method) was a miracle for my hair. Somewhere on here there was a Curly Girl thread. I'll see if I can find it.

Here ya go
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/off-topic/...irls-book.html
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/off-topic/...izzy-hair.html
http://www.bhuz.com/forum/fitness-be...questions.html

Thanks everyone! When I was a child my hair was stick straight. When I hit my 30's it went all wavy. Of course wavy in a good way would be nice but these waves are in unflattering places. The waves are mostly in the underlayers of my hair so it may be straighter on top with all these weird waves poking through from underneath. It is also not quite wavy enough to scrunch up and air dry and have it look good. I think I might cut a few inches off ...to just above my bust, very slightly layer and add a few lowlights. Any recommendations on how to locate a master stylist and colorist? I don't care what I have to pay so much as I want someone who knows what they are doing. This is my first time having anything more than a trim/shaping done.

That's funny, my hair just went wavy the same way this year. The waves are underneath. I find that my hair looks best when I smooth it out with large velcro rollers or a round brush. Sometimes I use a straighter, which sounds odd to straighten straight hair but it's those weird waves. I don't know where they came from.

I do have my hair slightly below the shoulder, long layers.

I also find that coloring and highlighting my hair gives in more texture and makes it look thicker.

I do wear falls when I dance.

When I had to relocate a few years and find a new stylist I just asked people who had great hair where they went. A good stylist/colorist should have you come in for a consulation before they ever touch your hair.

If I woke up and had a single naturally wavy hair I'd have a heart attack and die, so I don't know a damn thing about it.

BUT based on every TV makeover show I've ever seen, if you get those top layers cut shorter it will 'release their waves' and you'll suddenly have a glorious mane of magnificent flowing tresses.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

and you'll suddenly have a glorious mane of magnificent flowing tresses.

Maybe I should ask my unicorn how she maintains her tresses... ..l;,..l;,..l;,

My stylist does a glaze that can be colored or clear that makes hair smooth and glossy. I would suggest a color specialist if you're willing to pay for one.

You may need vitamins or change something in your diet as well.

I have baby-fine hair that is naturally straight but so flat that it doesn't flatter my face at all. Cutting lots of layers did not work without my having to set it all on hot rollers every morning, which thrashed it fast. Oh, and when my hair is straight, it gets frizzy and products just weigh it down and make my oily scalp worse.

My solution was to keep it permed - and it's a curly perm - that way I can go at least two days without shampooing, a light conditioner and some mousse or light gel is all I need. I let it dry naturally and then fluff and scrunch. It also holds up better in adverse weather (hot, cold, rainy) and when I dance doesn't go limp and flat. What I've found, though, is that it looks and feels a whole lot healthier at a medium length (graduated shag) with shorter layers on top. For performance, I use 3/4 synthetic falls or ponytails to even out the costuming. I too do not like the "soccer mom bob" look which is probably the cheapest hairstyle to maintain. I get demi-permanent color to cover my 30% gray and for shine. Overall, I'm happy with this solution, because it works for dance and day job.

Slightly OT, I had to give up coloring at home - too messy and I just finished re-painting bathroom from all the hair color spots on walls AND wood trim on mirrors had to be painted as well. Home coloring is a mess, and not really much cheaper, since I had to buy 3 boxes of "Natural Instincts" to get the right color mix. My hairdresser gives me a break on pricing since I get my cuts, perms and color regularly from her.

Originally Posted by stardancer

Thanks everyone! When I was a child my hair was stick straight. When I hit my 30's it went all wavy. Of course wavy in a good way would be nice but these waves are in unflattering places. The waves are mostly in the underlayers of my hair so it may be straighter on top with all these weird waves poking through from underneath. It is also not quite wavy enough to scrunch up and air dry and have it look good.

UGH!!! Oh I know exactly what you're talking about! I used to have sleek straight shiny swinging hair...then a couple of years ago, it started doing this kinky thing...but mainly on the underside. The top layers are mostly straight. In just the right humidity, I can get amazingly big straight hair. It's really werid looking. And no, Lauren, for me anyway, layering did NOT help. I tried that last January and it was a disaster.

You say your hair is thin...are we talking thin density, thin texture, or both? What do I mean...density I'm refering to the numbers of hairs--do you have a lot of them or not a lot. You can have very fine hair but have a lot of it. Conversely, you can have thin hair, but not have it be fine--does it hold curl/style? Does the hair shaft itself have much form/thickness, or is it fine? That might make a difference in terms of the styles that will work.

I personally don't have a ton of thickness in terms of density, but my hair's not fine--there's a reasonable amount of texture there. So...though the kink/wave in my hair isn't pretty if I just leave it down/let it air dry, if I put it up in certain ways during the day, I have some rather boufy waves or curls when it comes time to dance, which is at least relatively quick to do and easier on my hair than ironing it straight would be.

You're hair is a lot like mine. If it's down to your mid-back, it's probably time to get it cut. I've gotten my cut to just below my collar bone and while it feels "short" to me, it actually is still considered long and it still reads as long. It moves and flows so much better at this length, though I admit that I often grow it a bit longer.

Mirah, it is thin in both density and texture. I have very little hair and it is very fine. My grandmother was the same way and you could see her entire scalp under her hair when she was in her early 50's. I am hoping I won't get as bald as she was!

...

Originally Posted by aamel_MirahAmmal

And no, Lauren, for me anyway, layering did NOT help. I tried that last January and it was a disaster.

WHAT!?!?!? This thing is *useless*!

:throws TV out window:

Other than your funky wave, I feel your pain! My hair is stick straight, thin, fine, and unsubstantial. I've been wearing it above my shoulders for a few years now; in the summer I usually do the Meg Ryan shaggy thing and I'm about to do another version of it. I am 33 and fear looking too 'mahmay' so I like to keep longer layers around my face- the rest of it can be short. I don't know, something about having the front cut above my ears makes me think I look like a more mature woman than I am. And actually, this summer when I was brave and went above the ears, my boyfriend said "You're going to hate this, but you kinda look like Hillary Clinton." I politely told him that any time he believes he needs to begin a statement with "you're going to hate this" he should probably stop right there. ..l;, For performing I have an inexpensive (but doesn't look it) black Cleopatra wig~ the bonus of it is that though I change my hair color a few times a year, my wig never clashes with my costumes the way my hair might. Plus, I don't have to 'do' it- just bobby pin it and scoot! ,r:;

I second the recommendation to ask those whose hair you admire. I have been lucky~ I walked into a salon by my house and I totally fell in love with the stylist who was available- she hears me and offers suggestions, she tries to push me out of my comfort zone (like cutting above the ears) but isn't offended if it doesn't work for me (ahem). She is honest with me and I completely and totally trust her. I have recommended her to others who have thankfully had the same glorious experience as me.

try a silicone-based problem for the frizzies...I have similar sounding hair, and use a tiny bit (about dime-sized) of a TIGI bed-head product (it's teal, can't remember the name tho)

I usually have layers cut, but I remember particular success when the stylist did a razor cut as opposed to a scissor cut.....the strands seemed to lay better and not be as prone to odd "chunking"

Oh, i can soooo empathize!! Been through that pain, still do occasionally when I have a bad hair day... May I tell you what I have done with mine?:

I have always had very fine, very straight, dirty blonde hair (hair colour is important! - apparently blonde hair actually has a smaller diameter, on average, than brunette, and red hair the largest diameter!). Yep, sunburn on the scalp and all. I'm just waiting for the waves to kick in properly - it happened to my mum (who also has find hair), and I already get small loose curls on the base of my neck. I've tried both long and short styles, and couldn't get past the limp, hanging look.

After deciding that enough was enough, I went to a professional stylest - a good one! I'm sticking to the one place, where I know they look after me. Now I know that it's not cheap, but if you can get at least one good cut with someone who really knows how, you can always take pictures and have someone else emulate it later.

The stylist has cut layers into my hair, but not all over - there are two main layers, one at full (almost bra) length, and one at shoulder length (blended nicely, of course). The shorter layer adds fullness and shape, while retaining length with the second long layer. My mistake in earlier times was thinking that layers would thin the hair - with long, fine, thin hair, one layer throughout actually tends to weight it down and emphasize it's thinness. On the other hand, if your stylist doesn't know how to cut layers that volumise and *help* your style, I can see how it could look worse! (Careful with razoring - I've found it tends to lead to quicker split ends, and more fly-away, uncontrolled ends - again, that might come down to the thinner blonde hair...)

Hand in hand with the good cut is good product - volumising shampoo and conditioner, plus a root/volumiser mousse. Works wonders! Again, you probably get what you pay for here...

Lastly (don't know if it's applicable or not) I'm now off all hormonal contraception - and what a difference it makes! My hair is stronger, longer, and less prone to splitting/fuzzies.

Would it help if I could find some before-and-after shots somewhere?

The change in your hair could be due to build-up; I suggest using a clarifying shampoo and conditioner before making any other changes.

What colour is your hair? I use henna to get red hair, and it makes it feel a lot thicker. I believe that cassia, which is often marketed as "neutral henna" can help hair feel thicker without adding much colour (unless your hair is very light - it can add a yellowish cast on light hair).

I put my hair in two braids starting at the top of my head when it's still damp - when I undo them, I have some "lift" at the roots and a nice wave pattern. This works well as I wash my hair at night.

If you do get a hair cut, *don't* let the stylist use a razor on your hair. That will only make it more wispy and fly-away.

A boar-bristle brush can help calm the frizz.

I'm a blonde. :o) The most irritating thing are those short little hairs all over my head that go crazy and give it this crazy fuzzy halo effect in humidity.

Originally Posted by stardancer

I'm a blonde. :o) The most irritating thing are those short little hairs all over my head that go crazy and give it this crazy fuzzy halo effect in humidity.

It sounds like you either have breakage from handling or styling (ponytail holders? barrettes?) or like you lost a bunch of hair 4-5 months ago from stress or an illness, and now its regrowing.

Do you brush your hair while its wet? Make sure you detangle carefully with a wide-tooth comb.

If you can coax out as much natural waviness as possible (scrunching with styling products, or making braid waves) the short hairs will show up less.

Also, I would say don't cut more than a minimal trim (0.5") until you've tried some of the suggestions.

Also, it seems to me that chopping the length off to collarbone won't fix the things that are making you unhappy -- dry sides and the short hairs poking out.

shudders at soccer mom image

what about a trim and slight coloring?

Originally Posted by ssipes

It sounds like you either have breakage from handling or styling (ponytail holders? barrettes?) or like you lost a bunch of hair 4-5 months ago from stress or an illness, and now its regrowing.

That's the part I don't understand. My hair has always been like this with the short broken pieces. I am very gentle with my hair and don't wear it pulled back or up at all. It's always down and natural with only a little hair spray on my front bangs. I wonder if my pillow is causing it to break while I am sleeping. The dryness and weird waves are fairly new. I have decided I am going to get a good trim. I see about 3" of whispy ends that should really go. I am also going to have some lowlights added to give it some texture. I'll post a before and after pic when it's done.