Thread: a critical mass

I have totally brought some negative feelings on myself -- I have allowed myself to be innundated with just a little too much visual exposure to celebrities and dancers who have had alot of artificial beauty enhancement: lips, breasts, tummy, hair, face, cheeks, botox. Women younger than me (43) that I swear have had facelifts. I think critical mass may have been reached last night when I caught a bit of Dolly Parton's new "backwoods barbie" music video.

The thing is I have nothing against these procedures in theory and there are some I'd have done if I had the money and courage -- although I would mostly just be trying to slow the aging process, not make myself look different.

The problem is when enough people you see have it all, the overall standard for female beauty just becomes so unobtainable to the average jane, and natural beauty seems devalued. Take lips -- the objective part of my brain tells me I have plump, somewhat larger than average lips that have not aged all that much -- why then do they seem thin when I look in the mirror? Because I've been looking at too many pictures of women that have had extreme lip augmentations.

Just a random rant. No deeper point. Not criticizing anyone.

Can I just say a hell-ya sister!?

*takes deep breath in rant avoidance*
don't let em get you. love yourself exactly as you are. if you are happy, healthy and every body part works reasonably well, you are very blessed and doing better than most people on the planet.

recently i was at a high end party where most of the women had so much work done to their poor faces they had no contour left. they all looked like an over inflated, alien cloned, interpretation of a woman trying desperately to appear young. and they all looked the same! caricatures of female youth and beauty. it was frightening and sad. of course this is the far end of the spectrum but you get my point.

you are beautiful and unique just as you are, naturally. we all are, and please don't let the media or advertising sell you otherwise.

You could go both nuts and broke trying to look 20 when you're 40 or 50. Just aim to look healthy and vibrant.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

*
they all looked like an over inflated, alien cloned, interpretation of a woman trying desperately to appear young. and they all looked the same! caricatures of female youth and beauty. sell you otherwise.

I've had that same feeling -- too much stuff done on the face, and they all look exactly the same. Sort of bloated in some places and stretched too thin in others. And the neck usually gives it away. But it's the same with going way over board with makeup too - you start to look like a caricature of a human.

A little can be great - if it makes you happier when you look in the mirror. I get botox for migraines every 3 months, and I admit that one of the few bonuses is I do have a pretty smooth forehead. However, I can still move my eyebrows.

Sometimes it's just better to not look in the mirror and just get on with living.

Sedonia, I believe you to be a phenomenal being. (And society and the media are d-u-m-b.)

Originally Posted by TheGreatKathyLori

You could go both nuts and broke trying to look 20 when you're 40 or 50. Just aim to look healthy and vibrant.

I second this! I'm 41 and I don't plan to do any kind of plastic surgery - except where my health is concerned. I plan to try to grow old gracefully... Spa trips aside and all...l;,

The thing about people who have been cosmetically augmented, is that they, just like the rest of us, have to grow old. And nothing looks worse than an old face on a young body that looks as though it's been pushed inside a jar - that stretched, slant eyed, wide lipped immobile face with a wrinkly neck beneath. Horrible. Sad and horrible and utterly ghastly.

The problem with society is not just about being beautiful but about running away from age. Age should be a celebrated and respected thing, and our lives are written on our faces. We all age and we all die, no matter how much we go under the knife and both these unavoidable facts of life are steered away from with an increasingly desperate morbidity that can only go from bad to worse.

Yes, I intend to grow old disgracefully.. and by this I mean living my life to the full and not conforming to what society expects me to. I'll never forget that elderly lady of 80 odd, who decided to cycle round the world. She was an inspiration to me, and proved that you're never too old to start anything.

So, I feel that we should just remember that beauty begins inside. And to hell with vanity.

Originally Posted by BELLA_BELLA

A little can be great - if it makes you happier when you look in the mirror. I get botox for migraines every 3 months, and I admit that one of the few bonuses is I do have a pretty smooth forehead. However, I can still move my eyebrows.

Does Botox help migraines?

It is difficult when images of unobtainable perfection are in our faces all the time. Anthropology tidbit here: women are hard wired to size up the 'competetion' and make comparisons between themselves and said 'competitor.' Of course we've since learned to value, respect and love eachother but that undercurrent is always there---kind of the basis of feelings of inadequacy alot of us have at times. It is indeed unfair that we are always looking at imaginary competetitors that are such a small percentage of the population. Had we never seen models or actresses in the first place we would be comparing ourselves to women much more like ourselves and overall be so much more accepting of our bodies.

This is sorda related to the OP.

The term "age-appropriate" hair bugs the crap outta me. I'm nearly 40 and have longish hair. Am I supposed to cut my hair short on my 40th birthday just because I'm officially at mid-life? Why in the hellmouth would I do that?
I know many women who look lovely with longish hair who are 40 and beyond.

Gah!

As for the aging thing, I try to eat healthy, exercise regularly, avoid stress, cultivate good relaxation habits. And I no longer watch TV or read magazines. That has helped a lot.

Originally Posted by kharis_UK

Does Botox help migraines?

Kharis, my husband has been taking Botox injections in his scalp to help with chronic migraines. The jury is still out, because there haven't been THAT many studies, but it looks like Botex helps some people with certain tension-based migraines.

FWIW, he doesn't get the "benefits" of a botoxed forehead though. He still has wrinkles, just like me. :)

Originally Posted by ssipes

The thing is I have nothing against these procedures in theory and there are some I'd have done if I had the money and courage -- although I would mostly just be trying to slow the aging process, not make myself look different.

The problem is when enough people you see have it all, the overall standard for female beauty just becomes so unobtainable to the average jane, and natural beauty seems devalued. Take lips -- the objective part of my brain tells me I have plump, somewhat larger than average lips that have not aged all that much -- why then do they seem thin when I look in the mirror? Because I've been looking at too many pictures of women that have had extreme lip augmentations.

Just a random rant. No deeper point. Not criticizing anyone.

Agreed, It is very disturbing to see "surgically enhanced" become the standard of beauty.

Originally Posted by Albertina

This is sorda related to the OP.

The term "age-appropriate" hair bugs the crap outta me. I'm nearly 40 and have longish hair. Am I supposed to cut my hair short on my 40th birthday just because I'm officially at mid-life? Why in the hellmouth would I do that?
I know many women who look lovely with longish hair who are 40 and beyond.

Oh, don't even get me started. Anyone who tells me I should cut my hair can kiss my *ss.

Originally Posted by ssipes

Oh, don't even get me started. Anyone who tells me I should cut my hair can kiss my *ss.

Here here! I just finished a 3-year long process of growing mine out from a pixie cut - I may never cut it short again!

Does Botox help migraines

I think I feel a bad one creeping up on me....

Originally Posted by kharis_UK

Does Botox help migraines?

Yes, it's one of the off-label uses. I have been a chronic migraineur for over 15 years - maybe 10-15 migraines per month.

My neurologist suggested it after I'd gone through most of the preventive meds and so I tried it. It doesn't work for everyone - for some people, it dramatically reduces the frequency, and for others (like me) the frequency didn't change, but the intensity of the pain lessened and I was more responsive to the rescue pain meds (triptans for me).

Hurts to get 30 or so shots in the head, especially right between the eyes, but 5 minutes of YEEEOWWW! for having to take less meds - yes, yes, yes. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover it, and it ain't cheap. Still, being able to manage the pain better and work, and not eat my children or butcher the husband is soooooooooo worth it.

I'm one of those cut-my-hair around 40 gals. Used to be wild and curly, and one day I just wanted a change. It was one of those moments, when everyone started complimenting me on my new look. By the end of the first day at work, I was thinking ..."gee, wish I'd done it sooner". So for me, short hair was a major improvement.

Actually, when I got home from the Cutting, I was greeted by my then 4 and 6 year old boys. The younger one said: You look weird, Mom. The older one shoved the younger one and whispered (loudly of course), "no she doesn't, it's only her hair that looks weird".

Originally Posted by BELLA_BELLA

I'm one of those cut-my-hair around 40 gals. Used to be wild and curly, and one day I just wanted a change. It was one of those moments, when everyone started complimenting me on my new look. By the end of the first day at work, I was thinking ..."gee, wish I'd done it sooner". So for me, short hair was a major improvement.

Yeah, but did it really have anything to do with you being 40, or did you just finally find a cuter hairstyle that suited your hair and the shape of your face?

Yeah on the hair thing! So what if I look like an old hippie.

Originally Posted by ssipes

Yeah, but did it really have anything to do with you being 40, or did you just finally find a cuter hairstyle that suited your hair and the shape of your face?

Both. I had short hair growing up, then let it grow, then returned to the shortness. Really short.

Ah, that "hair" thing . . . I was sort of forced into short hair while growing up because it was curly/wavy . . . my sister with the straight hair got to have it long. I had ultra-short hair for many, many years because everyone (mostly my family, lol) kept telling me how great it looked on me. Then one day I had a revelation (not about dancing yet) and decided my angular face could do with some "softening" . . . to make me appear more "user friendly", hehe. So I started to grow it out and used a perm to curl it up!

The big push for me really did come because of dancing and after I got past 40!! Now I am nearing 60 (OMG, where did the time go) and my hair is longer than ever. I get compliments on my hair but not because I look stylish . . . hehe, because I have nice thick hair.

My one concession to vanity??? I have my hair colored because it does give the appearance that I am "younger" . . . wish I could justify doing some other things but I hate that artificial look too and I have also worried about that homogenized look. Ever notice that many of the ME female singers are starting to look alike????

LOL, I don't read "beauty" and "fashion" magazines anymore . . . I used to read them like the "bible" but honestly the image they present of what is considered beautiful and desirable is so far from my reality (hehe, short, wide plus-size brunette with high blood pressure and type-2 diabetes).

On another more encouraging note . . . did anyone see the 100+ woman who still volunteers twice a week??? A mass of wrinkles, short curly white hair and still moving quite well . . . I think we should see more stories about women like her on the news instead of Madonna and Britney (don't get me started on those two!!!).

Originally Posted by ssipes

Oh, don't even get me started. Anyone who tells me I should cut my hair can kiss my *ss.

Woohoo! I grew mine out from a pixie (at age 7) and have never looked back! I'm creeping steadily to 50, at which I hope to continually astound folks with my locks.

Nah.

Originally Posted by ssipes

The problem is when enough people you see have it all, the overall standard for female beauty just becomes so unobtainable to the average jane, and natural beauty seems devalued.
.

This sums it up perfectly, and I'd go further to add that if you speak up about this very point, (and you're over 35) you're marginalized as a granola, hag, jealous, whatever, fill in the blank.

I happened to see the tail end of a news story featurig Miss Australia (I think) who is 5'11' and 115 pounds. There was nothing attractive about her to me. I was just sad. I am so aware for both my son and daughter to know what true beauty and real physical and facial features look like. (We watch old movies a lot-people look more normal in them I think)

Don't worry ladies, natural beauty is making a comeback. Even in the porn industry real boobs are valued more than fake ones (I saw that on the telly the other day so it must be true).

Remember that thread I did on "real beauty"? If you feel freaked out by all the fakery out there in terms of plastic surgery and photo retouching, check that thread out again cos it will make you feel better.

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/fitness-be...auty-then.html

BTW I had 6 inches cut off my hair in January and boy do I regret it. It's at shoulder blade length now and it'll take me a year to get back to where it was. Short hair looks rubbish on me so I'm going to become one of those 1960s women. Looks 19 from behind, but get in front and you realise she's 60.

xx