Thread: Letting the Client Pick Your Costume - Yay or Nay?

Again, another professional amenity that I've been toying with. I've seen a couple of dancers who have a "current costume rotation" gallery on their websites. It's an interesting idea, but I'm not sure if I want to run with it.

How many of you let your client pick out your specific costume? What are your thoughts on this? Do you find that people respond well to this perk?

I like the idea of customizability, but I don't love the idea of leaving the door open for micromanagement. Interested to hear your thoughts...

I like to pic my costume but i will ask for who and what kind of party that will determine if i what style i want to wear. or if they very sexy or conservative i will decide what costume is best. they can ask but and if i can accomidate them i will. but this is my perfession so they sould be confidate in my danceing as well as me being able to pick out the best costume for there event.

I only offer this for weddings, in case the bride wants color coordination. In those cases, I just tell her the colors and styles I have available and allow her to select from among them.

I try to coordinate with the theme of the party. Rack and Roll Circus will get something very different than A Night at the Casbah. Which will be different than a Generic birthday party.

But, being a bedlah girl, having a costume gallery per se is limiting, because of the number of different combos one can get from a bedlah and different skirts.

{{HUGS}}}

I offer this. Why not? I gotta wear something - might as well make the client happy!

Originally Posted by Nadirah007

but this is my perfession so they sould be confidate in my danceing as well as me being able to pick out the best costume for there event.

That's kind of how I feel about the whole thing. Any dancer who's worth their salt knows to save the Eman minis for nightclubs and the pouffy princess look for family parties.

You want to be accomodating, but you also want to communicate that you'll use your best judgement. Yesterday, I had to turn down a client's request that I dance with candles AND a sword. Not that this wouldn't be doable, but at the end of the day, I'm the one who'd be held accountable if one guest said to the other, "Gee, that was one stupid human trick right after another."

The customer may always be right, but the dancer knows best!

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

I try to coordinate with the theme of the party. Rack and Roll Circus will get something very different than A Night at the Casbah. Which will be different than a Generic birthday party.

But, being a bedlah girl, having a costume gallery per se is limiting, because of the number of different combos one can get from a bedlah and different skirts.

{{HUGS}}}

Yep, see, I try to do this, as well. Instead of explicitly asking a client to pick my costumes, I'll try to dig a little further into any party themes that might be going on. This is productive from all sides of the set planning world.

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

I try to coordinate with the theme of the party. Rack and Roll Circus will get something very different than A Night at the Casbah. Which will be different than a Generic birthday party.
...
{{HUGS}}}

Yep. This is what I do as well.
For brides I will ask what color theme as well and either try to match or coordinate in some way. I don't tell them "pick what color" though. Sometimes I'll tell them flat out "I'll wear pink to go with your bridesmaids"- it *feels* custom tailored for them...or I say (for example) "oh, you're doing red and white for your Christmas wedding. I have a lovely silver and red costume that would go with your wedding party beautifully or we could contrast with green"... and give them a choice between two costumes that are appropriate style.
But, still, they don't choose what I wear. I use my professional judgment and either tell them or let them choose from two "best choices".

I sometimes allow it. I ask if there is a specific costume that they have seen on my website that they particularly like, and tell them I will do my best to accomodate if the costume is 1) still in my possession and 2) appropriate for the song/venue. I have had people ask, for instance, if I would wear a guest of honor's favorite color, or say "I really really liked the *color* costume on your site, I'd love to see it in person". So, if it is appropriate in their circumstances, why not?

Originally Posted by Sonja2

I sometimes allow it. I ask if there is a specific costume that they have seen on my website that they particularly like, and tell them I will do my best to accomodate if the costume is 1) still in my possession and 2) appropriate for the song/venue. I have had people ask, for instance, if I would wear a guest of honor's favorite color, or say "I really really liked the *color* costume on your site, I'd love to see it in person". So, if it is appropriate in their circumstances, why not?

This is how I feel as well. I guess maybe if I had clients demanding specific costumes all the time it would be a pain, but it's rare for them to ask for a specific color, let alone a certain costume.

If there was a reason I didn't want to or couldn't wear the costume they requested, however, I would be fine telling them that. "I know you really like the blue and silver costume, but the skirt is velvet and your event is at a outdoor event in August. I'm afraid it would just be too hot for me to perform in at that time of year with no air conditioning."

i tell the client they can choose the costume if they like. I have a page with the choices..if they don't care, then I choose whatever I want...most clients like to choose ....when I get rid of one or get a new one, then I just change out that gallery

I agree with Zorba's sentiments- I think it sounds like a good idea, especially for something like a wedding, but I would have a hard time keeping up a gallery of GOOD pictures of me as my costume rotate in & out rather faster than they probably should...

It's not scalable. what will you do when your business progresses to the point of having three parties back-to-back?

I will often ask what the guest of honors favorite color is but I never let the client choose specifically.

Originally Posted by laura 2

This is how I feel as well. I guess maybe if I had clients demanding specific costumes all the time it would be a pain, but it's rare for them to ask for a specific color, let alone a certain costume.

If there was a reason I didn't want to or couldn't wear the costume they requested, however, I would be fine telling them that. "I know you really like the blue and silver costume, but the skirt is velvet and your event is at a outdoor event in August. I'm afraid it would just be too hot for me to perform in at that time of year with no air conditioning."

This is a good point. In Southern California we dance outdoors quite a bit and sometimes it is cold (at night in the winter, or in the desert), and sometimes it is windy, or hot. And they don't understand costuming and our moves enough to know what would work best.
I also feel I am perfectly capable of choosing my costuming but of course it is based on their specifications and preferences; color, style, conservative vs. liberal crowd, etc.
And I think it would be too much work to keep a gallery of my available costmes anyway, it changes all the time, based on what is new, what did I just get rid of, what needs repairs, etc. I don't even have time to alter new ones let alone take pictures of the ones I already have. However, if I was a full time 100% professional belly dancer then maybe I would maintain a gallery of my available costumes and let the customers view it and go from there, but still other criteria such as style or weather will be a factor, but that would need to be discussed.

I don't advertise it as something I am willing to do, but I have had clients who see a costume on my website and ask if I can wear that. If I still own it, I am more than happy to wear it for them, but sometimes it's a costume I don't own anymore so I will wear the closest thing to it. I have found that brides are really the ones who care about this kind of thing.

Am I the only one that thinks it is slightly creepy? I mean what other profession (other than acting or modeling) do clients pick what you are going to wear? IDK, it seems OBJECTIFYING! Clearly, if the client has seen your Web site or portfolio, they understand you have good taste and appropriate costumes. Seems like the only case in which this would be appropriate would be a wedding, as others have said.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Again, another professional amenity that I've been toying with. I've seen a couple of dancers who have a "current costume rotation" gallery on their websites. It's an interesting idea, but I'm not sure if I want to run with it.

How many of you let your client pick out your specific costume? What are your thoughts on this? Do you find that people respond well to this perk?

I like the idea of customizability, but I don't love the idea of leaving the door open for micromanagement. Interested to hear your thoughts...

I don't think this would be something I would do. I do tend to give the choice of colors and of the folkloric, lycra-type or bedlah/skirt depending on the needs of the event, but I wouldn't feel comfortable letting the client pick my costume.

Originally Posted by andalee-oriental

Am I the only one that thinks it is slightly creepy? I mean what other profession (other than acting or modeling) do clients pick what you are going to wear? IDK, it seems OBJECTIFYING! Clearly, if the client has seen your Web site or portfolio, they understand you have good taste and appropriate costumes. Seems like the only case in which this would be appropriate would be a wedding, as others have said.

This was exactly my reaction! I am not their dress-up doll, I am a performer!

Originally Posted by lotus

It's not scalable. what will you do when your business progresses to the point of having three parties back-to-back?

Pass out from the shock of having that much business in one night ..g.:

Originally Posted by TribalDancer

This was exactly my reaction! I am not their dress-up doll, I am a performer!

Yeah, but with being a performer comes the understanding that you are the entertainment - a portion of the event that is customizable by the hostess in order to make her party exactly the way she wants it. Most likely, she's not hiring you for your "art", she's hiring you for your "show", and your costume is part of that show.

I'm not saying you need to offer it as part of your service, but you do need to be open to the possibility that a client may request a costume or color.

Originally Posted by andalee-oriental

Clearly, if the client has seen your Web site or portfolio, they understand you have good taste and appropriate costumes.

Yes but...

This is my point - if they've seen your website or portfolio, they probably have seen a costume they like. Why not wear it for them?

Originally Posted by zorba

Yes but...

This is my point - if they've seen your website or portfolio, they probably have seen a costume they like. Why not wear it for them?

I think this is a shades of grey question. If asked, yes, I would wear a specific costume if I still had it. But would I say to the client, "G to my website and pick something out,"? No. There is a difference.

{{{HUGS}}}

I would prefer to pick my costume based on my mood and on the set I plan to do for the event. I would feel restricted if the client picked one out for me. But if the client had a specific colour in mind (like others have stated, for weddings or special parties) I would be open to the request.

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

I think this is a shades of grey question. If asked, yes, I would wear a specific costume if I still had it. But would I say to the client, "G to my website and pick something out,"? No. There is a difference.

{{{HUGS}}}

Yeah, this is where my b2b sales experience kicks in.

In sales, the whole idea is to give your client what they want and make them feel like they have a valuable say in the matter, all while benevolently maintaining control in your interactions with them.

I generally apply this to belly dance by asking the client a LOT of questions about their event, digging into any themes or colors they like, and whether they'd prefer a more traditional set or something contemporary. My level of attentiveness gives them the feeling of security that they need, and, as clients have shared with me, often surpasses that of many other dancers they might have already spoken with.

Though it all depends on your boundaries and comfort level, I'd wonder if letting the client call the shots over the finer points might be opening the door to other kooky behaviors. We've all felt like a client has taken advantage of our goodwill at one point or another, as Mirah recently posted in her Demanding Client thread.

I think there's a fine line between good customer service and potentially opening yourself up to being taken advantage of. This is something I'm currently exploring in my own business development. I'm not sure where I draw these lines just yet, so consider this thread one of many trial balloons I've been floating. It's interesting to hear all your input.

"Customizable" is one of my business hooks, so I'm definitely not against giving the client what they want. Even my toenails are painted to my clients' specifications - I just don't ask them to pick the color

Originally Posted by Sonja2

Pass out from the shock of having that much business in one night ..g.:

Tell me about it...it's rare for me to have 3 performances a month, let alone 3 in one night. There's just not that sort of demand for Belly Dancers in my area.

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

Yeah, but with being a performer comes the understanding that you are the entertainment - a portion of the event that is customizable by the hostess in order to make her party exactly the way she wants it. Most likely, she's not hiring you for your "art", she's hiring you for your "show", and your costume is part of that show.

I think Lauren has pointed out before that when clients (especially GP) hire us for parties, many times they feel as though they are hiring a "costumed character" as opposed to a performing artist. Otherwise, why would they ask such silly questions like, "Do you bring your own music?".

When I do gigs, I feel that the main thing I am being paid for is to make the client happy (within reason, of course). It's a job, and just like any other job there's going to be things I'm willing do differently because I'm being compensated for it. Lord knows I would never perform to the Arabic Happy Birthday song in my life again if it were up to me, but GP birthday party clients love it, so I'll keep dancing to it as long as they keep paying me. If someone really loves the red costume on my website, and there's no logistical reason why I can't, why would I refuse them?

Originally Posted by laura 2

If someone really loves the red costume on my website, and there's no logistical reason why I can't, why would I refuse them?

I don't think anyone is saying they would refuse this kind of request. If the client has a specific look or color in mind or has seen a picture with a costume they loved, then I think most of us would be happy to oblige. I think the difference is the idea of having a costume catalog for people to choose from. It takes it farther from "dance performance" and closer to "costumed character" for me which isn't where I want to aim my energy.

Another part of the negative reaction is probably based on another type of performance where you can choose your dancer's outfit. There are 'lingerie stores' and peep shows where you choose your outfit and your dancer for your custom show.

When I have had specific costume requests from clients they have either come in the "color, style" variety or the "dress sexy for me" variety. The former I am happy to work with, but, in general - if I receive the latter I will turn down the gig out of hand.

Nothing against those who like to have a costume catalog for their clients - it just doesn't feel right for me, so I don't do it.

Originally Posted by laura 2

When I do gigs, I feel that the main thing I am being paid for is to make the client happy (within reason, of course). It's a job, and just like any other job there's going to be things I'm willing do differently because I'm being compensated for it. Lord knows I would never perform to the Arabic Happy Birthday song in my life again if it were up to me, but GP birthday party clients love it, so I'll keep dancing to it as long as they keep paying me. If someone really loves the red costume on my website, and there's no logistical reason why I can't, why would I refuse them?

Totally agreed that a professional dancer who works with the G.P. really doesn't have a whole lot of room to b*tch about her aaaaahhhhhhrrrrrtttt. I do, however, think it's ideal to be a great entertainer and to command respect for your art, as well. That may soon become a spinoff thread - just give me a little more coffee and I'll fire it away

If a client specifically asked me to wear a costume they saw on my gallery, I'd have no problem with this. One, it's so rare that anybody even does this - and two, that's entirely different from asking them to pick and choose.

Everybody's boundaries and comfort level are different, though. It's such a personal thing. That's why I'm enjoying this discussion.

Originally Posted by mahsati

I think the difference is the idea of having a costume catalog for people to choose from. It takes it farther from "dance performance" and closer to "costumed character" for me which isn't where I want to aim my energy.

Total agreement on this - it would not be in my comfort zone either.