Thread: why do you think people give up on losing weight?

is it too hard to stick to a diet?

we don't see changes fast enough?

what if people were shown, medically, what can happen to the body as a result of obesity (ie all the health problems related if obesity continues..heart disease, diabetes, etc)

??

I think personally it's because food is so delicious and life's too short to starve. Of course, I'm not medically obese. But I am fat.

I think it's because in general, it's freekin' hard! I've been trying to lose about 10 - 15 pounds for months now and have made little progress. It would be much easier to sit around and get fat. Losing takes persistant and consistant hard work and trying to figure out what work and what doesn't. Most of us don't have the patience for it.

If it was easy, we'd all be thin.

I never found being on a diet really hard. I found maintaining to be a lot harder.

We live in a society that tells us to never deny ourselves. (Not blaming society completely for obesity, but it is a factor.) There is just too much good stuff out there to deny yourself on a daily basis when you are on a diet. There are too many cases when you can just coerce yourself to cheat - "His birthday rolls around only once a year. I can have that piece of cake (or seven)" or "If I eat this now, then I won't eat bread at dinner." Stuff like that.

Also, there's that little pesky instant gratification thing. We want immediate weight loss and binge diet, instead of allowing ourselves to eat what we want in moderation. The more you deny yourself, which is how most of us have been taught to diet, the more your body and more so, your mind wants it. It's okay to have a piece of cake once a week as long as you eat healthy the rest of the time, instead of denying yourself for three weeks and then eating a whole pie.

Besides, dieting is just a pain in the butt!

Deleted

The last time I went on a diet, I lost about 35 pounds but eventually got tired of never being able to have a piece of birthday cake at work clebrations, never being able to go out to eat with friends, never being able to have a drink. I wanted my life back.

Most doctors, nutritionists, etc. who work with the obese have never actually been fat and have never actually experienced being hungry for months at a time. Even the Weight Watchers leaders (who seem to know more than the medical profession about weightloss on a practical level) have lost only 20 - 30 pounds. I can't tell you how many times in 51 years I've done this. So it can become hard to take them seriously.

Another issue for me has been, when I go to WW or the doctor's office, I'm handed a certain weight and told "this is your goal." No one has ever asked me what I wanted to do. Realistically, the chances of my achieving that insurance study weight is pretty small. I weighed more than that in 6th grade. I've never found anyone willing to help me with losing enough weight to be a size 18, instead of a 26.

Basic answer - it's bloody hard to do and there is little help if you have more than about 30 pounds to lose.

catwomyn, when it comes to numbers, I have never fit into that category! My weight number is high but I also have a lot of muscle. My size number is a single digit so as long as that stays, about the scale, faghetabatit!!

It isn't a popular answer, but many people do suffer from poor impulse control. They can see the point of not doing something that is bad for them, on some level they want to stop doing it, but they cannot consistently maintain a state of abstinence. They cycle between guilt, defiance/justification, and short-lived attempts at control, but they just don't stop. Particularly with eating, it is often a calming behavior and a refuge that acts as a defense mechanism. If you are overweight, it can be an excuse for a lot of problems--lousy love life, why you got passed over for that promotion, whatever. It allows the person to hide behind a reason instead of confronting a potentially harsh truth.

Oh...probably several reasons (some of them which have been addressed already):

1) not wanting to deal with proper portion control/serving sizes
2) losing motivation whether in a few days or several weeks
3) wanting "instant" weight loss ("why can't I lose 10 pounds every week?")
4) feeling deprived when others are enjoying their cheeseburgers and fries
5) not eating properly (i.e. fad diets/pills/liquid fasts/100 calories daily)
6) the word "diet"...already has a "negative" quality to the word
7) too expensive for purchasing healthy choices
8) can't get healthy foods at fast-food places

And regarding WW and goal weights, they have weight ranges which has been effect for several years now (I continue to be involved with them). If you prefer to be "above" the top of the range, that is acceptable as long as a doctor's note is provided with the higher weight indicated on it. Most people do decide to be in the range, but others for personal/medical reasons opt for a higher weight. Also, with WW, most doctors do recommend that WW is the most healthy way to lose weight.

P.S. I continue to struggle with it as well and getting older/metabolism certainly isn't helping.

thanks for the feedback so far (am doing nursing research paper, don't worry am not quoting anyone )

what kind of incentives or rewards would motivate a person to stay on a diet or maintain a daily exercise routine? what if your employer gave you bonuses or free gym memberships or something?

what other rewards, other than eating the whole pie, can you think of that would motivate you to stay on track?

do you think it would help to visit a hospital and see the kinds of conditions, face to face, that may result from obesity? do you think seeing the consequences of unhealthy eating would have a lasting impression on you ?

Originally Posted by jesennia

what other rewards, other than eating the whole pie, can you think of that would motivate you to stay on track?

For me finding out that I had Gestational Diabetes during my pregnancy did it. Not necessarily a reward, but a big wake up call. I ended up having to change my whole diet. Thankfully, I was not put on meds or ending up with Diabetes after having Jeremiah. Same for him.

I think it was a reward to show me that I should change my eating habits before it is too late.

Originally Posted by jesennia

do you think it would help to visit a hospital and see the kinds of conditions, face to face, that may result from obesity? do you think seeing the consequences of unhealthy eating would have a lasting impression on you ?

No, lol. I am a nurse and worked with the Morbidly obese, Diabetics, Heart Disease, and I still gained weight. My uncle passed from Diabetes a few years ago, still gain weight. People watch the TV programs on TLC about the morbidly obese and still don't care. I have a friend who brags about eating and drinking all this crap on Facebook. She just says everything is going to kill us eventually.

People can't be helped unless they want to be helped and it is a big lifestyle change.

I used to think that to maintain my weight I had to give up all the good stuff. This is wrong. I can eat whatever I want, I just have to have smaller portions and maybe just a bite or two of that cake or that candy bar. But I've learned to be satisfied with doing that. Also, watch thin people. They eat whatever they want. Yes, they do have the advantage of a higher metabolism but they also eat mostly when they are hungry and stop when they've had enough.

Unless like bdaddiction, where the weight was put on through a health disorder she got through pregnancy or some other health disorder or even because of some medication or the fact that you cannot even walk for awhile due to surgery or illness, the problem most of the time is not the food itself - it's that ancient indulgence we don't like to call it by - gluttony.

Originally Posted by Fotia

Unless like bdaddiction, where the weight was put on through a health disorder she got through pregnancy or some other health disorder or even because of some medication or the fact that you cannot even walk for awhile due to surgery or illness, the problem most of the time is not the food itself - it's that ancient indulgence we don't like to call it by - gluttony.

lol, BonBon... ..l;, I gained the weight before I became pregnant, by shoving my face during third shift hours.

I only gained 17lbs. during my pregnancy. Which I lost considerably fast, even though I couldn't really move around much after my c-section. Just working on getting rid of the rest. I am sure if I didn't end up with the GD, I would of kept on going.

Needless to say, I cannot eat like everyone else. My body just wasn't built that way. Eating whatever I want in small portions just won't work for me, because it still has too much sugar and too many carbohydrates. I have to stick to no sugar or low sugar, low fat, and refined carbohydrates. I have learned to adjust and it seems to be working for me. ..g.:

I'm not accusing anybody here but myself. Whenever I myself gain weight, it's simply because I made a pig of myself! So I'm not gonna blame the food, like they were trying to awhile back about McDonald's - it's my responsibility.

But it is so much fun ..g.:

Originally Posted by bdaddiction

People can't be helped unless they want to be helped and it is a big lifestyle change.

Exactly--it would be wonderful if just knowing the consequences could be enough motivation but it isn't. Just in my extended family alone there's at least a half a dozen overweight healthcare providers that smoke!

The other thing is that even when you are committed, losing weight and maintaining the loss is hard. You can do everything right and not have that steady, rewarding 2-3lbs a week loss the magazines tell you to is reasonable. It took me 18 months to lose the 50lbs I gained with Depo-Provera because I hit two plateaus that lasted over 4 MONTHS EACH. During that time NOTHING I could do would budge the scale. Talk about frustrating!

IMO, Incentives and extrinsic rewards like gym memberships are great, but they won't do anything for the person that isn't fully on board to change their lifestyle.

~~Kimahri

Originally Posted by Kimahri

Exactly--it would be wonderful if just knowing the consequences could be enough motivation but it isn't. Just in my extended family alone there's at least a half a dozen overweight healthcare providers that smoke!

The other thing is that even when you are committed, losing weight and maintaining the loss is hard. You can do everything right and not have that steady, rewarding 2-3lbs a week loss the magazines tell you to is reasonable. It took me 18 months to lose the 50lbs I gained with Depo-Provera because I hit two plateaus that lasted over 4 MONTHS EACH. During that time NOTHING I could do would budge the scale. Talk about frustrating!

IMO, Incentives and extrinsic rewards like gym memberships are great, but they won't do anything for the person that isn't fully on board to change their lifestyle.

~~Kimahri

Wow, and the way YOU move, Kim, I would've thought you lost weight easily because you are so energetic!

Originally Posted by Kimahri

Exactly--it would be wonderful if just knowing the consequences could be enough motivation but it isn't. Just in my extended family alone there's at least a half a dozen overweight healthcare providers that smoke!

The other thing is that even when you are committed, losing weight and maintaining the loss is hard. You can do everything right and not have that steady, rewarding 2-3lbs a week loss the magazines tell you to is reasonable. It took me 18 months to lose the 50lbs I gained with Depo-Provera because I hit two plateaus that lasted over 4 MONTHS EACH. During that time NOTHING I could do would budge the scale. Talk about frustrating!

IMO, Incentives and extrinsic rewards like gym memberships are great, but they won't do anything for the person that isn't fully on board to change their lifestyle.

~~Kimahri

Ditto! My mother is the only person with a normal weight in both sides. ..l;, She eats right and works out religiously.

I have been exercising my whole life, I just can't sit still. But, it wasn't enough and boy was I getting tired.

I figure it would at least take me about 2 years to lose it, since that is how long it took me to gain it. My ideal goal is another 75 lbs. Although, I should probably lose 100 lbs. People don't notice, because my face never gains weight and I am tall to begin with. I love it how when I go to the doctor and I have to tell the MA or Nurse to slide it over another 100 lbs.

Originally Posted by Fotia

Wow, and the way YOU move, Kim, I would've thought you lost weight easily because you are so energetic!

I WISH!! Even when I was teaching 3-4 dance classes a week, rehearsing, performing on weekends, AND taking some hardcore taekwondo classes 3+ times a week I still had to watch what I ate! ,m::

~~Kimahri

Originally Posted by Kimahri

Exactly--it would be wonderful if just knowing the consequences could be enough motivation but it isn't. Just in my extended family alone there's at least a half a dozen overweight healthcare providers that smoke!

The other thing is that even when you are committed, losing weight and maintaining the loss is hard. You can do everything right and not have that steady, rewarding 2-3lbs a week loss the magazines tell you to is reasonable. It took me 18 months to lose the 50lbs I gained with Depo-Provera because I hit two plateaus that lasted over 4 MONTHS EACH. During that time NOTHING I could do would budge the scale. Talk about frustrating!

IMO, Incentives and extrinsic rewards like gym memberships are great, but they won't do anything for the person that isn't fully on board to change their lifestyle.

~~Kimahri

Kitten, you took the words right out of my mouth.

The incentive plan that works the best for me is SEEING some FRIKKIN' RESULTS.

*pant pant* sorry to yell. I get upset.

When I'm seeing results, even 1/2 pound per week, I can sustain willpower and keep going, no problem. I'm excited to work out and eat light as long as I can see it working.

But sometimes I'm doing *everything* right (by the book) and yet the scale -- or measurements, or whatever -- keeps nudging upwards. Those are the times I want to chuck it all and eat a chocolate cake!!!

Also, food is a HUGE part of our lives. Quitting smoking was EASY by comparison, because I knew I could simply never smoke a cigarette again. Easy to measure how I'm doing.

But dieting goes along fine, but then on Monday someone brings donuts (maybe I can have half of one) and then the group is ordering pizza at lunch (I could have ONE piece instead of that nasty can of soup I brought) and then at dinner the hubby and kids won't eat salad and grilled chicken breast, so you make them some lasagna (surely one piece won't kill me).

Rinse. Repeat. Day after day. Constant temptation, frustration that everyone around you is enjoying themselves while you gnaw on a flippin' carrot...

..c::

Originally Posted by Kimahri

I WISH!! Even when I was teaching 3-4 dance classes a week, rehearsing, performing on weekends, AND taking some hardcore taekwondo classes 3+ times a week I still had to watch what I ate! ,m::

~~Kimahri

I teach 13 classes a week and still gain weight if I don't diet AND add in a daily workout of my own. I haven't had cheese, or a french fry, in years. And I'm still 20 pounds overweight. ..cr.:

Originally Posted by jesennia

is it too hard to stick to a diet?

we don't see changes fast enough?

what if people were shown, medically, what can happen to the body as a result of obesity (ie all the health problems related if obesity continues..heart disease, diabetes, etc)

??

1) Losing weight has different levels of difficulty for different people. I used to have zits in high school - not terrible pizza-face like some kids had, but my acne was common and persistant. I found out some people assumed that I never washed my face (because they only got zits if they forgot to wash their faces). I explained that I had tried many things to control my acne (washing my face from 3 to 8 times a day, special creams, special soaps, sun exposure, antibiotics), and that I was simply more prone to have pimples. Likewise, some people can do everything right with weightloss tactics, and their "best sustained effort" can mean their body looks like the results of someone else's sustained binge-eating and physical inactivity.

It's true that everyone will lose weight if calories are restricted enough (either by restricting input, or increasing activity levels). It's also true that the level of calorie restriction necessary to lose the weight may make it impossible for people to focus on their jobs and maintain normal relationships with others.

Some people give up on losing weight because they can't be successful at both losing weight, and living the rest of their lives the way they want to.

2) Dieting is usually part of a weight-loss plan. Unlike smoking, drugs, or video games, a dieter can't go cold-turkey. She needs to continue to eat so she can live. Opti-fast works really well, because it is a form of cold-turkey, but dieters can't live on shakes forever. Eventually real food must be eaten, and a dieter returns to a world where she must make choices about food several times a day - she can't default to "no", because she needs food to live.

3) I don't think "showing people what happens if you stay overweight" is really all that helpful. People already know being fat can cause and exacerbate health problems. A scientific study which compares several different approaches to education and motivation would be valuable. It should measure the effect on both short-term and long-term success. And frankly, when you recruit people interested in a "weight-loss study", you've already selected a group with extra motivation to lose weight. It would be difficult to design a study that measures the effect of education on the general (fat or not) population

"dieting" doesn't work & there are no quick fixes- it takes time & effort &, yes, money to make changes.

I suggest reading "Fast Food Nation" and "Omnivore's Dilema" for insight into some of our national health problems- then throw in all the allergies, sensitivities etc & we're having FUN!

but also examine our business structure & education system. Starting at age 6, we are all trained to sit still behind a desk all day. Way to stay in shape. Thank you Computer generation. I know, there are benefits too, just sayin, it's not all our fault we are trained this way & it is HARD to break out of that mold.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

The incentive plan that works the best for me is SEEING some FRIKKIN' RESULTS.

I'm with you. The current WW effort I'm on has been working because I rarely go a week without seeing some results. Even a week or two without a loss (even a small one - 100g) puts me in a bit of a danger zone where I'm tempted to throw in the towel.

I've had consistent positive feedback from friends which is helping and I've been giving myself rewards - usually work clothes, as there's nothing worse than wearing droopy pants which should be fitted!

The hardest bit for me is when everyone is eating yummy things and I'm restricting myself. However, I'm pretty used to that as I have Coeliac disease and can't eat much in the way of birthday cake etc anyway! Even so, it still makes me grumpy and resentful and prone to finding the next sugary thing I can see and scarfing it! ..c::

Originally Posted by Lara L

I suggest reading "Fast Food Nation" and "Omnivore's Dilema" for insight into some of our national health problems- then throw in all the allergies, sensitivities etc & we're having FUN!

"In Defense of Food" is another good one

I gained weight because I used food to deal with stress. (I still do, but I am more aware of it.) Some smoke, some drink, some eat, etc. After awhile, it becomes a habit to eat a certain way.

I think some incentives to lose weight would be: low-priced weight loss counselling; affordable access to gyms; simple specified eating plans created by a nutritionist/dietician.

Many people are probably thinking "just go walking". But, the verbal abuse that sometimes happens when a really overweight person does go out walking probably deters quite a few. Gyms run by either a hospital or rehab facility are more accepting of all sizes working out there. I never felt uncomfortable in this type of gym.

I think people often give up because it takes soooo long.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

I teach 13 classes a week and still gain weight if I don't diet AND add in a daily workout of my own. I haven't had cheese, or a french fry, in years. And I'm still 20 pounds overweight. ..cr.:

seriously????? and i'm trying to avoid fries? forget it..what time is dinner, we have a dollar menu two streets over

how effective would it be to target kids (ducks cuz she knows what parents are going to say..hey my 'whi-nese' boy only eats carbs!)

anyways, what about a dream world where we teach kids from the start , maybe put pressure on school systems to offer healthier choices

maybe make recess longer, PE class longer?

teach it from the start so it's a habit that is worked into lifestyle

We live in a society that tells us to never deny ourselves. (Not blaming society completely for obesity, but it is a factor.)

This is exactly it, it is a byproduct of consumer culture, plus our inbred urge to eat a lot when food is plentiful so we have fat reserves for when it's scarce. Our bodies haven't caught up with the reality of 21st century life yet.

Last time I lost weight it was because I found out how much I weighed, and I did it by...

... eating less and moving more. That's it. I need to do it again, and I can start by purchasing no more specialty bread and reducing my statch portion sizes, but OH I crave bread these days like you would not believe. Bread, oil, vinegar, I'd live on them, honestly, with the occasional piece of cake or icecream.

I think another reason some people give up is that they are not often presented with an attainable ideal. Perfect example was in a gossip community I read, where someone in Australia posted a piece on the actress Maga Szubanski, who is current Weight Watchers spokesperson, and who has lost either 25kg or 35kg depending on which article you read. She was enormously fat. Now she's a trimly round woman. She is still not thin but compared to her "before" size her achievement has been awesome. She is still plump but in a healthy range of plumpness.

People in the comm were all "omg she's still only a size 12 that is huge". No, it isn't.

I honestly think if we saw a greater mid-range of people in the media being feted as attractive, successful etc, instead of either size zeroes or morbidly obese people, the attainment of a healthy medium would be easier. Some people have unrealistic goals of weight loss.

My favourite weight loss story from my old dance teacher involved her being "fat" as a teen, although also very actve, and when she went to WW and attained her 70s goal weight she looked great but had no energy to do anything. So she chucked in the diet and started to move round again because maintaining that weight was not good for her. (Point also - she's naturally very muscular, and always joked that if she'd gotten into body building she'd be winning national titles. She probably *was* too light at that "ideal" weight given how much muscle she was probably carrying beneath her baby fat.)

I think in the case of severe obesity it is sometimes *too hard*. My friend's husband is obese and has been ordered to lose 25kg. Which is a lot. Apparently he is finding it all too difficult and just won't do what he needs to do. He has sleep apnoea and a young child and a wife who is exceptionally talented at dramatic nagging - she lost her father very young and I've heard her saying to him that she doesn't want her son in the same boat - and *still* he won't.