Thread: Tell me you do this too!

Sooo, last night, I caught myself once again staring at someone's eyelids trying to figure out exactly how she achieved her makeup effect... and it suddenly occurred to me (tho not for the first time) that perhaps it might unnerve some people should they catch me staring at various body parts trying to figure out unique makeup approaches, stylistic costuming techniques, etc. Is it wrong to sit there at dinner and mentally deconstruct your hostess' bodice to figure out if you could turn that pattern into a belly dance dress? Once the costuming/makeup/hair stylist bug has bitten can you even help it? Is there a polite way to oggle other people's clothing & up-dos? I swear, I'm not checking out your cleavage because I'm some kind of perv- I just want to know if I can do that on MY sewing machine...

Nope. I'm totally guilty of this to!

Guilty!

..l;,..l;,How did you know?

oh good- as long as I'm not the only one...

off to play with my eyelids...

I can totally relate.

I just worry that I'm having a fundamental personality change, staring at women's eyelids and/or eyeliner. ,f:: This is *just* not me.

But yeah, I look at the clothes. I try not to stare. .p:: LOL And honestly, at ren faires, some ladies encourage staring, after all!

oh, I thought that was a normal thing to do! I have even paused movies when the actress was blinking and her eyes were shut so that I could study them. I just recently did this in the Pink panther 2 movie . hehe.

The funny thing is that when we're staring, we're usually admiring, ya know? I'm usually staring at someone and thinking "what a lovely __________." If I find something gross or disturbing (something hanging out of a person's nose, or spinach in her teeth) I look away VERY quickly, it's almost involuntary.

Yet... if I catch another woman staring at me, I'm nearly ALWAYS going to assume she was judging me, negatively. It would never occur to me that she might be admiring something about me. And I'm guessing most of us are the same.

Wow. We really need to lighten up on ourselves -- and each other -- don't we?

Originally Posted by Lauren_

The funny thing is that when we're staring, we're usually admiring, ya know? I'm usually staring at someone and thinking "what a lovely __________." If I find something gross or disturbing (something hanging out of a person's nose, or spinach in her teeth) I look away VERY quickly, it's almost involuntary.

Yet... if I catch another woman staring at me, I'm nearly ALWAYS going to assume she was judging me, negatively. It would never occur to me that she might be admiring something about me. And I'm guessing most of us are the same.

Wow. We really need to lighten up on ourselves -- and each other -- don't we?

Amen to that!

When trying to figure out other's makeup or clothing I tell them. Removes the awkwardness and normally they take the time to explain how the makeup was applied. Greatly appreciated.

I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. In fact, when someone has asked me how I do my eyes at certain times, I take it as a compliment as well.

i do this too!
with hair also.

I do this too but I also have a need to blurt out to total strangers that I love their make up/hair/dress/perfume etc. I just can't help myself!! Sometimes people look flattered sometimes they look at me like I'm crazy. ;) LOL!

Originally Posted by Uulady

I do this too but I also have a need to blurt out to total strangers that I love their make up/hair/dress/perfume etc. I just can't help myself!! Sometimes people look flattered sometimes they look at me like I'm crazy. ;) LOL!

I do this more and more. It's like a random act of kindness. When some other woman at a restaurant or event comes by to pay you a compliment, it feels AWESOME because you know for a fact she has no agenda, and is more than a little impressed by your (whatever).

I've only been approached by strangers bearing compliments a couple of times, but it felt sooooo good I've decided that if I'm thinking something nice about someone, I'm going to share!

This reminds me of a wonderful thing that happened to me once while I was wandering through the supermarket on my weekly grocery mission. I was feeling un-beautiful and particularly was just FRETTING about my hair; oh my hair is horrible; this long henna hair thing is looking ridiculous now that I'm so OLD; what can I do; oh I should be wearing a bag over my head; blah, blah, blah . . .

And then this woman, a total stranger, comes up to me and says, "OH, I just HAD to tell you . . . YOUR HAIR is SO BEAUTIFUL!"

Woo-hah!,r:;
Rosette

I *totally* tell people if I like something they're wearing (including make-up). I always love it when random people tell me they love my shoes, and I enjoy seeing that same look of surprised pleasure people get when I pay them a random compliment. Seems to make everyone walk away with a little more swagger in their step.

It's nice to give a compliment and you can then easily segue into "how'd you do that?"

Originally Posted by tink

When trying to figure out other's makeup or clothing I tell them. Removes the awkwardness and normally they take the time to explain how the makeup was applied. Greatly appreciated.

up 'till recently, I didn't even realize I was doing it- or that it might seem awkward to someone else- so yes, I am going to try to actually talk to people about it from here on out- both to pass on compliments & to let folks know what I'm doing!

will...resist...asking...to see... the seams... (are there buttons with 'warning, avid costumer on the loose' on them somewhere?)

hehe, guilty!

Guilty!!!!
:-D

I am constantly guilty of bursting out "Oh my God, I love your ________, where did you get it?". I have no shame.

Originally Posted by Uulady

I do this too but I also have a need to blurt out to total strangers that I love their make up/hair/dress/perfume etc. I just can't help myself!! Sometimes people look flattered sometimes they look at me like I'm crazy. ;) LOL!

Totally the same thing here...most of the time people are flattered and are happy to give their how to's. Sometimes I've met other dancers this way!

Originally Posted by h3llc4t

I am constantly guilty of bursting out "Oh my God, I love your ________, where did you get it?". I have no shame.

Me too!!!
:-)

I do it all the time. Occupational hazard (make-up artist). But I am right upfront with it. I tell a person when I'm staring at them and why. And I love giving compliments - I give copious compliments every day. Like Lauren said, it's a small act of kindness that costs me nothing and could potentially be the only kind words the person hears that day.

Originally Posted by Lauren_

The funny thing is that when we're staring, we're usually admiring, ya know? I'm usually staring at someone and thinking "what a lovely __________." If I find something gross or disturbing (something hanging out of a person's nose, or spinach in her teeth) I look away VERY quickly, it's almost involuntary.

Yet... if I catch another woman staring at me, I'm nearly ALWAYS going to assume she was judging me, negatively. It would never occur to me that she might be admiring something about me. And I'm guessing most of us are the same.

Wow. We really need to lighten up on ourselves -- and each other -- don't we?

wow that s SO true!!!

During my very first solo, I had a local professional dancer glaring at me from the front row. I asked my teacher if I'd done some wrong, and she explained that she had probably just been studying what I was doing.

Now I make a real effort to smile while I intently observe other performers.

What makes me laugh is that my husband often looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer only see me staring at what he sees as "some lady's chest". Of course, by now, he's come to realize that I'm studying the beadwork (particularly Bellas) as closely as I can.

Originally Posted by tink

When trying to figure out other's makeup or clothing I tell them. Removes the awkwardness and normally they take the time to explain how the makeup was applied. Greatly appreciated.

Yeah, I do that. But after you tell them, there is a brief moment of explaining, and then polite society indicates that you must no longer stare. However, if you really, really want to see the make-up - what do you do ? You've already stared, had a brief chat, and now you are still staring...you weirdo.

Yea, even I do it.

As a male, I have to be extra, extra, extra, EXTRA VERY careful that I don't send the wrong message though.

Originally Posted by Bellydancingcaroline

Yeah, I do that. But after you tell them, there is a brief moment of explaining, and then polite society indicates that you must no longer stare. However, if you really, really want to see the make-up - what do you do ? You've already stared, had a brief chat, and now you are still staring...you weirdo.

Hey- at least I will be a well dressed, impeccably coiffed wierdo!..g.:

Originally Posted by Lara L

Hey- at least I will be a well dressed, impeccably coiffed wierdo!..g.:

..l;, Well, I don't have that going for me, but I do this, too. I usually tell people what I'm doing, though, so that they don't assume what I'm doing. I've gotten used to the "Geez, what a weirdo" look when I compliment people. You have to or go insane wondering what people are thinking of you. I guess people in the Midwest don't always understand that people complimenting you is a good thing. It seems pretty self-explanatory to me, but hey, whatever.