Thread: Need help looking older

My friend is in her early 20's. She is a beautiful dancer. Patrons have started asking if she is under 18! She looks young for her age, but I was really surprised when she told me. Maybe we can age her some with make-up? Any thoughts? Ideas? Has this happened to anyone?

What's she doing with her makeup? I used to have this same issue, and I resolved it 100% by learning proper stage makeup application and projecting a more "glam queen" aura.

I really don’t have any advice, but I can share the frustration. I had to show my ID to get into an R-rated movie when I was 23. I usually don’t wear makeup in everyday life, so that’s probably the problem. Just wearing makeup helps for me. (It covers my acne.)

Oh, I remember those days...I still get carded every now and then but usually by the bag boy at Publix who really likes older women...ugh...

I'm gonna bet money she's wearing less than dramatic make-up.

Originally Posted by ozma

I'm gonna bet money she's wearing less than dramatic make-up.

Yep, I think she needs more dramatic make up!

When I was in my 20's, two undercover police grabbed me, and hauled me off the dance floor, and out into the parking lot at a bar!
I almost decked the first one that grabbed me, I thought he was a perve (until the second one stopped me, and they showed their badges)!

They thought I looked 14!
(I wore my make up light, and natural)

What was it that one Bhuzzer said about not having enough on, and to go back and put on some MORE? LOL!

that's interesting- I get those comments when I wear *more* makeup. sigh. I'm not complaining, I just don't get it when I can see every wrinkle.

i hafd that issue when i was that age and it was worse WITH make up

Give it time...

Hmm. I think we need more info first. What do you think contributes to her youthful looks? Height? Body type? Full face? Big eyes? Type of hair? We need info!

So much seems to depend on the individual.

Originally Posted by zumarrad

Give it time...

Hmm. I think we need more info first. What do you think contributes to her youthful looks? Height? Body type? Full face? Big eyes? Type of hair? We need info!

So much seems to depend on the individual. My quasi-niece, who is coming 17, is very short (under five feet) and curvy with giant eyes and glowing, youthful skin but she's routinely assumed to be in her early 20s. I think it is partly down to what are going to become very strong features as she ages (high, pronounced cheekbones, haughty Persian nose). Curiously, though, I think she looks much younger when she straightens her hair; when she lets it be all flowing and wavy, which technically is less "groomed" and so "younger" she looks very adult.

She has a petite frame, beautiful Bambi style eyes. Her hair is medium brown, long and slightly layered. She has glowing skin......I am sure all these things contribute to her looking youthful. I think if we changed her make-up it would help.....what about shades of lipstick? What do you all recommend for helping her look older?

Well, I was just doing some Googling to remind myself and they say darker lipstick shades age you. I think looking very groomed helps - brows shaped, brows and lashes darkened, if they're not already dark. If she has big round Bambi eyes she can probably stand to wear heavier, darker eyeshadows. "Done" hair looks older, when you are young, than long loose hairstyles - maybe pulling it off her face? Manicured nails. And attitude is a biggie.

Originally Posted by Odella26

My friend is in her early 20's. She is a beautiful dancer. Patrons have started asking if she is under 18! She looks young for her age, but I was really surprised when she told me. Maybe we can age her some with make-up? Any thoughts? Ideas? Has this happened to anyone?

My daughter is 35 and she still gets asked for ID when she goes into a bar. I used to get the same. Now, when she complains, I say... just enjoy it while it lasts...l;,

I don't think that you can age her in any way, to be honest. Why bother. It's like gilding a lily. She is who and what she is. Lucky girl.

I do feel, however, that hair pulled back quite severely and put up, is more aging than soft layered and with a fringe (bangs), which is known to knock ten years off your face. So perhaps the hair is the way.

Really well-defined eyebrows, make sure line extends a touch past end of eye will add to bolder look.

I agree with everyone who has said that looking young is more of a blessing than a detriment, though it can be annoying when people ask your age ,r:;

As far as hair goes, what helped me was to do something with it. I kept it long, but got some nice layers cut into it, and started styling it either stick straight and ultra-shiny, or "done" like Zum said, with rollers. Flowers, rhinestones, barettes and headbands can also help pull the hair together.

For makeup, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. And I don't know if the goal is to "age" your friend, so much as it is to polish her and make her more Hollywood. She should just wear an intense variation of a palette that works for her - IMO, that often looks more sophisticated than piling on dark matte colors if they don't suit you.

TanyaLV is a great example of somebody who wears dramatic, ultra-glam makeup that is not aging and works for a fair blonde. Her eyes are dark and smoky, she never forgets fake eyelashes, and she's been known to go for soft nude-y pinks on the lips instead of dark reds. Also, watch some Arabic pop music videos - Nancy Ajram, Elissa and Haifa Wehbe are all known to wear a similar variation on this look. This is usually my "go-to" look, as well.

Also - fake eyelashes are a must! Not the thick, evenly shaped furry caterpillar fringes, but the longer, wispy ones that wing out at the edges. These will contour her eyes beautifully! Darkening the eyebrow also helps, as does sculpting the cheekbones with a bit of highlight-and-contour technique.

Your friend should definitely spend some time on YouTube watching makeup tutorials, and spend a day at the mall talking to people at the MAC counter. The late Kevyn Aucoin also wrote some amazing books on creative and practical makeup application. This is what I did when I decided I wanted to do my stage makeup better. If *I* could pass Girl School with flying colors, there's hope for your friend!

I will see if I can sacrifice some "before and after" photos of my own transformation. LOLOLOLOLOL...

Also, to go above and beyond makeup....

What kind of costumes does she wear? Any type of costume, whether vintage Oriental or modern Egyptian or Bella bling, could be feasible on your friend. But I think anybody who wants that polished look should examine the contents of her wardrobe with a critical eye.

Does it fit? Does it enhance her style of dancing? Do the colors complement her skin tone and hair? Does she feel confident and pulled together when she puts her costumes on?

Costuming was the other missing piece of the puzzle for me, especially being 4'11" and 92 lbs. soaking wet. I used to wear a lot of stuff that was ill-fitting, the wrong colors and way too "busy" for my little frame. Now, I feel slick and confident in stuff that's custom made or otherwise, smart Swap Meet purchases from similar-sized dancers.

Oh - and not related to costuming, but refining your negotiation skills, phone demeanor and business persona can also go a looooooooong way in how others perceive you! I was kind of rough around the edges when I first started, so my formal business-to-business sales training from my most recent job really helped me to come across as the well-rounded pro that I'd become! Of course, depending on your friend's personality and demeanor, this may or may not be an important factor. But I also wanted to throw it out there, just in case it helps...

Not adding anything to the suggestions already made but you know Estelle Getty's character, Sophia Petrillo, from The Golden Girls?

She was a year younger than Bea Arthur, who plays her daughter, and Maurice Stein, the makeup artist aged her simply by putting too much makeup in the wrong places and that wig. No prosthetics. So looking older can easily be done w/ just makeup.

I think there are certain hair accessories that should be viewed with caution when you want to look older, *especially* headbands and barrettes, which to me say "what we wore in primary school". When I say headband I mean Alice band-style, whether it's thin plastic or bra-strap or the wider kind. A LOT depends on the individual, but I would say, stay away from anything with bows or ruffles, to look more mature.

I'm nearly 19 and generally people guess my age at about 14.(Unless they speak to me on the phone, I sound like I've got a smoker voice) I'm short and curvy, so it's definitely my face. I wear glasses and no make up in my day to day life.

Best advice I can give? Enjoy it while it lasts...but heavy stage makeup certainly ages the face.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Also, to go above and beyond makeup.... not related to costuming, but refining your negotiation skills, phone demeanor and business persona can also go a looooooooong way in how others perceive you!

Yes, this point is very important for folks to see a person as mature and who looks so young. That and the make-up and costuming.

Her comportment is of vital importance. Does she slouch or avoid looking people in the eye. Is she hesitant to shake hands or does she have a limp handshake. Does she giggle when uncomfortable or display "anxiety" mannerisms (twirling hair, etc). Anything like that, especially from a young person who looks even younger than she is, will only reduce her credibility. I also think that if a dancer is perceived as being very young, especially in a gig environment such as a restaurant or party, some people will be very uncomfortable and wonder whether it's appropriate for her to be "doing such a thing."

I started dancing professionally at the age of 19. But I'm tall. That clinches it for most people.

Deborah

Originally Posted by Mahsima

I'm nearly 19 and generally people guess my age at about 14.(Unless they speak to me on the phone, I sound like I've got a smoker voice) I'm short and curvy, so it's definitely my face. I wear glasses and no make up in my day to day life.

Best advice I can give? Enjoy it while it lasts...but heavy stage makeup certainly ages the face.

My daughter is nearly 20 and has been dancing since age 9. Probably because of that -- lots of people remember her from that age and thought she was 6 or 7 -- I get alot of "You're kidding! She's in college?" Yes, as a matter of fact, she's a sophomore.

I think people often look at her and guess her to be 15 or 16. She is average height (just under 5'5" I think) and very lean, which doesn't help to age her. She definitely looks older with make-up and her stage presence boosts the perception of age.

So, I echo Mahsima: tell her to enjoy it! Make-up, costuming and deportment will work together to mature her until she finally does "look her age."

Deborah

I have that issue a lot. It is getting better. You have to play around with different looks. I have changed my hair color,hair style, used more make up, used darker make up, the list goes on. Some of it worked, some of it looked like I was trying to pass over 21. All of the ideas every one has given I agree with!!!! Your friend has to play around with all of these ideas and see what works best for her. Hey it's a good excuse to go shopping and get new things ..g.:

A few tips I have noticed when I trained young intermediate dancers who one day wanted to be professional, is that interaction with the audience always makes you look more mature. Just smiling blankly with a pretty face while you go through a routine will make you look inexperienced and thus younger.

If you let your personality shine then people will respond more positively to you! I know this one from direct experience, so trust me!!

Also, I hate to say it, but this is feedback I've had from audiences (thankfully not about me) but a strange truth is that younger girls tend to wear either their skirt or belt WAY too low. Not saying that is your friends problem, but it's just funny feedback that I've had from people, it makes them uncomfortable and it doesn't actually improve the look of your moves or figure if you ask me.

I am actually interested in what other dancers think of this too... (not trying to insult anyone by the way ,r:;)

Thanks everyone! I will forward these along to her! I guess the only reason I said we needed to "age" her is because she risks losing gigs because of this, and that makes her very sad. She loves to dance and this is a truly amazing venue, so she is just feeling upset that this could keep her from getting scheduled.

The key to aging yourself with makeup is to apply it strategically and skillfully. IMO, if you're young looking already, applying too much makeup poorly can make you look like the little kid who got in mother's makeup bag.

I can pass as anywhere from 16 to 28. I'm turning 25 now. It is all how I style and carry myself. I'm 4'10, btw, but thin with curves. I wear eyeliner every single day; it brings my age up to my actual age. I also recommend eyeshadow in a "mature" palette; she won't probably look older with wearing bright pink, unfortunately, but browns, etc. will probably help.

How does she behave? Does she carry herself with good posture and ease? How does she conduct herself with customers?

The key is to look and behave polished. That's one of the biggest differences between an older person and a teen.

Originally Posted by Karnak

I really don’t have any advice, but I can share the frustration. I had to show my ID to get into an R-rated movie when I was 23. I usually don’t wear makeup in everyday life, so that’s probably the problem. Just wearing makeup helps for me. (It covers my acne.)

Karnak, I never knew you had acne, and I'm pretty sure you don't always wear makeup to class! :-)

And to the OP, I only have a flip answer: Get a bad boyfriend and do a lot of stupid things, that gave me lines in my forehead and around my eyes and gray hair by my 30s. I'm 46 and just stopped getting carded all the time in the past ten or so years.

Keep that ID handy and develop a fierce glare, lol