Thread: My realization that it's not the costume, it's the body

I like to drool over various costumes and build my personal collection of glitteries, just like all of you, but I realized something the other day: Often when I look and fall in love with a costume, it isn't the costume itself, but is in large part the beautiful body that is wearing it.

Obviously a good photo of a costume can show a great cut or fit that really flatters the shape of the dancer, but I find myself on occasion having to remind myself if I buy that costume, that dancer's body does not come with it. It will arrive and I will put it on and I wont automatically look like CurvyShimmyBuns86, so to speak.

Not saying I don't like my body, I do, in general, but there are a few of you who I occasionally want to look more like. So here is me publicly reminding myself (witnessed by my favorite bhuzzers, many of which I'm sure will understand) a little more investment in my own health, fitness and well being will make me more happy than investing in that $700 deal of a bella that I've looked at 6 times today.

So,


Dear Shems,

Avert your eyes from the sparklies on the gorgeous bhuz bodies and work on yourself instead.

Much Love,

Yourself

yes! i noticed i did this a while ago too. makes things hard to buy from the bdstore when kitty and all the other models always look awesome. surprisingly, most of the costumes ive bought lately had no body pics hehe

Yep. I feel ya. Me too.

Oh Shems! Nobody can go wrong in sparklies and glitter! They make every girl a gorgeous goddess!!

I feel your pain!

I think I would already have put my hand in my pocket for a Bella were it not for the stone-cold knowledge that no amount of lush beading and stunning fabric choice is going to make it look good on my size 18 apple shape.

I love sparkles and glitter, but they have to be applied carefully if I don't want to look like a bedazzled sausage!

Shems, you crack me up! You are gorgeous and I love how you look in EVERY costume I've seen you in....but I get what you're saying. Thanks to being back in school, and my lack of self discipline, I've put on a smidge of flab... so I will stand up and join your movement. Dear me, if you want a smaller waist and firmer butt, get off the computer and go for a run. xoxo, myself and I.

You are a very wise woman!

Oh yes, sometimes I think this is the ultimate secret to selling clothes, put the body your customers want to have in your product.
The first question I ask myself when I'm looking at a costume on a person is, do I want to buy the costume or the body in it? Usually, it's the body.

lol, i thought this was going to be about something else (you know how, sometimes, you just loove a costume or costume style, but as hard as you try to make it work, it's just not a style that works on your body type... *sigh*)

but yeah, i feel your pain! *hugs*

Originally Posted by ValerieVengeance

I feel your pain!

I think I would already have put my hand in my pocket for a Bella were it not for the stone-cold knowledge that no amount of lush beading and stunning fabric choice is going to make it look good on my size 18 apple shape.

I love sparkles and glitter, but they have to be applied carefully if I don't want to look like a bedazzled sausage!

I disagree with you *evil grin*

this Bella would suit your body type perfectly, just as it would suit mine.

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/bellydance...top-bella.html

The problem is with us larger women is the style of the costume. Most times we buy something we go 'ooohhh ahhhh' over and don't give thought as to whether or not the actual style fits our shapes.

The way the skirt is cut in the front to rise up to meet the bottom of the top is the most flattering style for larger women with sexy bootehs, than a costume where the skirt is cut straight across. If you concentrate you can also see how 'minimising' the bra top is on the gorgeous Rosette. If Rosette was wearing a normal bellydance bra her breasts would look twice the size.

I have been majorly guilty of that for quite a while until I started making my own costumes to flatter myself and MY shape :)

Right there with ya. I have to remind myself that I have no hips (thankfully, I have an ass) which eliminates any costume without a separate belt. All those lovely costumes comprised of a decorated skirt simply won't work. Also I can't do belly drapes because of my short torso, AND i can't do heavily decorated bras for the same reason (and my big boobs). I don't have much experience with cabaret costumes so i'm PETRIFIED of buying one because I have no idea what will look good.

I would LOVE some suggestions as to shapes that might actually work for a short, boobied, athletic dancer with no hips.

Veil Dancer I so agree (of course)! There are costume styles, as well as costume tricks, to flatter all body types. It's taken me years but I've learned to recognize what will or won't flatter me, and to resist buying things that look great on other people but won't look good on me. Not that there's anything wrong with working on body changes to improve your health, That's the very reason why I've lost quite a bit of weight since those pics were taken . . . but I never do think of working on body changes so I can look good belly dancing. Admittedly I am an amateur dancer and not a pro, so possibly I have more freedom to take this attitude than some others may have.
Rosette

I used to believe that if my mom bought Lucky Charms I'd get to pal around with a leprechaun. Box after box...I was dissappointed anew.

Yep, I remind myself of that realization every time I see a Sahar with that damned Dina bra cup styling. D's won't become B's overnight.

Originally Posted by Veil_Dancer

The way the skirt is cut in the front to rise up to meet the bottom of the top is the most flattering style for larger women with sexy bootehs, than a costume where the skirt is cut straight across.

Yes,I LOVE this style!
This special cut makes any woman look lovely:)

Originally Posted by rmcguire

edited to hopefully fit all my reply in!

I would LOVE some suggestions as to shapes that might actually work for a short, boobied, athletic dancer with no hips.

Here I am :) This kind of thing is hard to explain, but you can play with it at home by trying on cossies.

Upper Torso: (under bra style)
Bra, short fringing, or even better one and a half inch fringing with crystal teardrops only in the center of the bra. Anywhere under the actual bra cups will shorten your torso, likewise for bra cup fringe...don't have it come below the cups.
Don't wear the back of the bra down on an angle too low as the sides of the bra will shorten your torso.
Don't worry about bellydrapes, they hide stuff, lol :)

If wearing a beledi dress with the front cut out, have the cut out dip 2 and a half inches below your bellybutton, and cut straight down from the outer sides of where your bra cups are for a long torso look.

Abdomen: (Top of skirt/belt area)
A skirt/belt which dip down in a slight V shape in the top of the belt will lengthen your torso...the best style of belt would be the ones that come on the Great Loop costumes. Worst type of these belts is the Turkish 'superfringes' as the long fringe shorten legs. You can also do a more severe dip in the top of the belt and use a nude mesh to fill in the gap, but that is very fiddly.
Fringing not any longer than 4 inches otherwise that will shorten your legs.

Put a layer of elastic only in the sides of the hips of belts and pull slightly while sewing. Don't pull too hard or the belt might pucker outwards.

If you're 'straight up and down at the hips' when looking front on at yourself. Cut out some wide triangle chiffon 10 inches long to match costume (or match skirt is better as it lengthens legs from the sides) and tuck them in at either hip (sides) into the top of the belt, that will give you cute 'floofs' that will help accentuate your hip movements and give you 'hips'.

Skirts:
Length...any skirts need to gently brush the top of your toes with any split off the center of your legs (aka more to the sides in line with your hip bone point. Having the split/s directly over the leg/s will shorten your legs as soon as it appears from behind the skirt. (when you do leg poses, always slightly cross it towards the middle of your body (point your knee diagonally) and point your toe with leg extended rather than a direct angular leg pose.

Trumpet Skirts: go for quarter circle inserts, as half circles will shorten you unless they're in chiffon.

Here's a great tip if you make your own trumpet skirts out of panne:
Cut the panne out upside down! It feels weird when you brush your hand down it, but it plays tricks with the light and makes you look taller. I discovered that one by mistake, lol :)

Mermaid Skirts: Have the insert start just below the bum line, the longer the mermaid insert the taller you look from behind.

Often when I look and fall in love with a costume, it isn't the costume itself, but is in large part the beautiful body that is wearing it.

Welcome to How Advertising Works.

Originally Posted by Rosette

Veil Dancer I so agree (of course)! There are costume styles, as well as costume tricks, to flatter all body types. It's taken me years but I've learned to recognize what will or won't flatter me, and to resist buying things that look great on other people but won't look good on me. Not that there's anything wrong with working on body changes to improve your health, That's the very reason why I've lost quite a bit of weight since those pics were taken . . . but I never do think of working on body changes so I can look good belly dancing. Admittedly I am an amateur dancer and not a pro, so possibly I have more freedom to take this attitude than some others may have.
Rosette

I would love to see a pic of you now.

I have to say that I really loved those photos of you in that Bella and if I had the money, I'd have snapped that cossie right out of your closet. Not because it's a Bella, but because of how it looked on you.

I would not have picked you at being over 200 pounds in those photos!

Originally Posted by Veil_Dancer

Here I am :) This kind of thing is hard to explain, but you can play with it at home by trying on cossies.

Upper Torso: (under bra style)
Bra, short fringing, or even better one and a half inch fringing with crystal teardrops only in the center of the bra. Anywhere under the actual bra cups will shorten your torso, likewise for bra cup fringe...don't have it come below the cups.
Don't wear the back of the bra down on an angle too low as the sides of the bra will shorten your torso.
Don't worry about bellydrapes, they hide stuff, lol :)

If wearing a beledi dress with the front cut out, have the cut out dip 2 and a half inches below your bellybutton, and cut straight down from the outer sides of where your bra cups are for a long torso look.

Abdomen: (Top of skirt/belt area)
A skirt/belt which dip down in a slight V shape in the top of the belt will lengthen your torso...the best style of belt would be the ones that come on the Great Loop costumes. Worst type of these belts is the Turkish 'superfringes' as the long fringe shorten legs. You can also do a more severe dip in the top of the belt and use a nude mesh to fill in the gap, but that is very fiddly.
Fringing not any longer than 4 inches otherwise that will shorten your legs.

Put a layer of elastic only in the sides of the hips of belts and pull slightly while sewing. Don't pull too hard or the belt might pucker outwards.

If you're 'straight up and down at the hips' when looking front on at yourself. Cut out some wide triangle chiffon 10 inches long to match costume (or match skirt is better as it lengthens legs from the sides) and tuck them in at either hip (sides) into the top of the belt, that will give you cute 'floofs' that will help accentuate your hip movements and give you 'hips'.

Skirts:
Length...any skirts need to gently brush the top of your toes with any split off the center of your legs (aka more to the sides in line with your hip bone point. Having the split/s directly over the leg/s will shorten your legs as soon as it appears from behind the skirt. (when you do leg poses, always slightly cross it towards the middle of your body (point your knee diagonally) and point your toe with leg extended rather than a direct angular leg pose.

Trumpet Skirts: go for quarter circle inserts, as half circles will shorten you unless they're in chiffon.

Here's a great tip if you make your own trumpet skirts out of panne:
Cut the panne out upside down! It feels weird when you brush your hand down it, but it plays tricks with the light and makes you look taller. I discovered that one by mistake, lol :)

Mermaid Skirts: Have the insert start just below the bum line, the longer the mermaid insert the taller you look from behind.

Great advice!!!! Thank you so much!!! I sew so I totally understood your descriptions

Originally Posted by Veil_Dancer

Here I am :)


Abdomen: (Top of skirt/belt area)
A skirt/belt which dip down in a slight V shape in the top of the belt will lengthen your torso...the best style of belt would be the ones that come on the Great Loop costumes.

I totally agree with veil dancer's post but wanted to add my two cents on belts for the athletic-hipped for rmcguire... I think in general a v-shape belt actually slims the hips. What the great loop (and some of the other the pharoanics belts, such as the enchantment) belts do is dip slightly again on the outsides of the front v, on the most lateral aspect of the hips, and I think this is what really helps to add curve at the hips. My hips are fairly narrow from front view, and I Loooove these belts for this reason. Plus they hug in the back, on the one part of my body that has a curve. I get an actual va-voom look if I wear these belts with a skirt that is fitted up top and then full to the floor (like the pharoanics daguee)- Yay for optical illusions! I think sometimes it partly *is* the costume. Though there have been times I, too, would have thrown elbows to line up for a $700 costume, if only I could wear it like the bhuzzer in the picture that could rock a burlap sack!

Originally Posted by zumarrad

Welcome to How Advertising Works.

And every paper/internet catalog out there (I refuse to calculate shipping charges I've incurred on returns That would just be too painful).

Oh, it's so true.

No matter how aware we think we are... it's insidious. Once in a while I'll flip past a magazine ad, think "oh, the hair in that ad was gorgeous, what product was that?" and I'm already flipping back to see when I think " you fell for it again!"

I've saved myself from many costume purchases by trying to picture my pudge squirting out of a cutout or over the top of a skirt. Would that $800 Bella be just as lovely with back fat?

It's a little painful to realize -- over and over again -- that I'll never look like Samira or Kitty or half the women on the Bhuz swap meet. But it does save me money. *sigh*

Originally Posted by Veil_Dancer

I disagree with you *evil grin*

this Bella would suit your body type perfectly, just as it would suit mine.

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/bellydance...top-bella.html

The problem is with us larger women is the style of the costume. Most times we buy something we go 'ooohhh ahhhh' over and don't give thought as to whether or not the actual style fits our shapes.

The way the skirt is cut in the front to rise up to meet the bottom of the top is the most flattering style for larger women with sexy bootehs, than a costume where the skirt is cut straight across. If you concentrate you can also see how 'minimising' the bra top is on the gorgeous Rosette. If Rosette was wearing a normal bellydance bra her breasts would look twice the size.

I have been majorly guilty of that for quite a while until I started making my own costumes to flatter myself and MY shape :)

Its now mine, all mine, and I am eagerly awaiting its arrival. I am a T shape with broad shoulders and narrower hips with an apple. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that this Bella will look as good on me as it did on Rosette and Amity.

Souzan

Originally Posted by rmcguire

Right there with ya. I have to remind myself that I have no hips (thankfully, I have an ass) which eliminates any costume without a separate belt. All those lovely costumes comprised of a decorated skirt simply won't work. Also I can't do belly drapes because of my short torso, AND i can't do heavily decorated bras for the same reason (and my big boobs). I don't have much experience with cabaret costumes so i'm PETRIFIED of buying one because I have no idea what will look good.

I would LOVE some suggestions as to shapes that might actually work for a short, boobied, athletic dancer with no hips.

I'm T shape and wear hip pads under my costumes to help balance my proportions and get more of an hourglass shape.

Thanks for the suggestions Khalima and Souzan!!!

I should also add that it's not to hard to do some minor adjustments to your body type. I used to have a much straighter hip line than I do now. I've found that as I did Suhaila's glute exercises, and developed my obliques, it can almost sometimes look like I have hips!!! I didn't do this intentionally, but it came as an added bonus of bellydance training. Of course, I will never have Mira Betz hips, but its encouraging to know that a few changes in your training can adjust your proportions.

Originally Posted by rmcguire

Thanks for the suggestions Khalima and Souzan!!!

I should also add that it's not to hard to do some minor adjustments to your body type. I used to have a much straighter hip line than I do now. I've found that as I did Suhaila's glute exercises, and developed my obliques, it can almost sometimes look like I have hips!!! I didn't do this intentionally, but it came as an added bonus of bellydance training. Of course, I will never have Mira Betz hips, but its encouraging to know that a few changes in your training can adjust your proportions.

I know what you mean about the hips. Mine sort of go straight down rather than curving at all. But dancing has definitely built up the hip and booty muscles so I do have more than I used to! I think working on stretching so that you can get as much range of motion as possible helps. I will never have big gooey downward fig 8s (down Maias) but I can do tick tocks, Soheir Zaki drops, jewels, and Cairo style fig 8s to make the most of what I do have. But I do envy the tribal gals who can stick a couple of layers of 20 yard skits into their tassel belt and have all the hips you want.

This is why I've stopped buying from the catalogs and started either ordering custom-made or from body doubles. Everybody's feeling disenchanted that they never show anybody bigger than Kitty, and I wish they'd show somebody even smaller and straighter! It's hard on both ends of the spectrum.

I've bought a few too many slick, minimalistic Emans that looked stunning on the curvy Samira and Kitty, and hung lifelessly like clothes on a hanger when I put them on my stick-straight little bod. While it was sad to learn that the cleavage and cute little curvy hips would never come with the costume, I've also learned which styles to avoid.

But let's look on the bright side! Now that I'm wearing more flattering gear, costume shopping doesn't feel like such a traumatic experience anymore ,r:; And I can dance a lot more confidently.

Count me in on being jealous on this one. ..l;, Don't have time to stalk the Swap Meet, so totally missed out on this gorgeous thing (that you will look gorgeous in). Maybe I'll just have to keep my eyes open.

Originally Posted by Souzan

Its now mine, all mine, and I am eagerly awaiting its arrival. I am a T shape with broad shoulders and narrower hips with an apple. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that this Bella will look as good on me as it did on Rosette and Amity.

Originally Posted by Veil_Dancer

I disagree with you *evil grin*

this Bella would suit your body type perfectly, just as it would suit mine.

I shall happily eat my words!

I love the look of costumes with cut-outs, but couldn't imagine they would look good on a plus-size dancer. I'm reconsidering that now!

Funny about that gorgeous blue Bella -- it was a lesson in proportion for me. I loved it and was the right size to fill it out, but I'm also not especially tall, so the very strong color and lavish, extravagant styling tended to swamp me. I ended up with a similar wine Bella that was a little less bright and a little more streamlined, more in proportion to my height and bone structure. The blue looks much, *much* better on Rosette, and I'm excited to see it on another tall diva soon!