Thread: Looking pg when you are not

A few weeks ago hubby told me that I looked like I was pregnant. Like 6 months pregnant. Okay, I am OLD and definitely NOT pregnant. I was furious at him and he did apologise for not being supportive, but it has only eaten at me more and more and undermined my confidence.

I've lost weight but it only makes my belly look bigger and bigger. My waist, abdominal measurement, and upper hip measurement has not budged AT ALL after losing over 35 lbs. Costumes look terrible, certain torso isolations are impossible to see. I find myself altering my dancing to face forward only so that you can't see the belly poking out as much.

This is bad. Intellectually I know that when dancing I am not thinking about it and I know that the audience is seeing the whole and not zooming in on just one thing. But emotionally it doesn't help. Now I have a bunch of performances coming up and nothing looks right. The problem is that this is not proportional. I feel like I have this big round hard ball perched on top of long slender legs and narrow hips andit saps all the gooey right out of me.

There are some medical conditions that could cause this. You might want to consult your gynecologist.

Aside from that, eliminate high fructose corn syrup from your diet if you haven't already done so, and keep starchy foods such as potatoes and bread down to a minimum. Carbs with a high glycemic index will promote the development of belly fat.

Don't even know what to say, but here's a hug for you!

Edna

Thanks, Shira and Edna. I had complete hysterectomy (everything!) over 20 years ago. If anything other organs may have settled into the places where ovaries and uterus once lived. I did go gluten free for a while and my belly shrank but slipped off the wagon although I do buy and make as much gluten free as I can. Think I need to be more diligent about it.

I agree with Shira that you should definitely talk to someone about this- but unfortunately some of us are just stuck with that physique too- I'm pretty skinny at the moment & I've been busting my butt to get muscle tone back after my last pregnancy- I'm probably more toned than I have been in ages, but I have no hips, no bum- nothing to contrast at all, so my belly ALWAYS looks like it's hanging out, no matter how skinny I get elsewhere. I find myself flipping through recent pictures, trying to find the ones *not* taken from the side at all! Not much help, I suppose, but sympathy!

I am hunting for costuming options- I have a new-to-me Abla with a loop belt that actually disguises it a bit- padding my hips seems to help a little, but I still cringe when I get the photos back. I just made a nice loose galibaya for a Fifi-esque number, but I don't want to wear it ALL the time!

I also get frustrated that, despite having impeccable alignment that I have worked on for YEARS (scoliosis & pregnancy induced kyphosis making all kinds of knotty obstacles!) I still have folks implying that I should talk to so&so about posture- If you could see my spine you'd be so impressed, but somehow, body type doesn't make that visible. Arrrghh!

No advice here, but lots of empathy. I have the same issue.

I try to tell myself that, as you say, other people aren't focused on my perceived flaws as much as I am.

I've also noticed in photos that it's less noticeable when I wear a belly cover made from black fishnet hose. That's not a suitable solution for every costume, I realize, but it's good for some.

..fiber !..get some colon cleanse.....stuff gets stuck...diverticulitus ....sp, will "look " like this too.

Originally Posted by Lara L

I agree with Shira that you should definitely talk to someone about this- but unfortunately some of us are just stuck with that physique too- I'm pretty skinny at the moment & I've been busting my butt to get muscle tone back after my last pregnancy- I'm probably more toned than I have been in ages, but I have no hips, no bum- nothing to contrast at all, so my belly ALWAYS looks like it's hanging out, no matter how skinny I get elsewhere. I find myself flipping through recent pictures, trying to find the ones *not* taken from the side at all! Not much help, I suppose, but sympathy!

I am hunting for costuming options- I have a new-to-me Abla with a loop belt that actually disguises it a bit- padding my hips seems to help a little, but I still cringe when I get the photos back. I just made a nice loose galibaya for a Fifi-esque number, but I don't want to wear it ALL the time!

I also get frustrated that, despite having impeccable alignment that I have worked on for YEARS (scoliosis & pregnancy induced kyphosis making all kinds of knotty obstacles!) I still have folks implying that I should talk to so&so about posture- If you could see my spine you'd be so impressed, but somehow, body type doesn't make that visible. Arrrghh!

Lara, your costume choices sound like mine! I have two of those Abla loop bedlah. Always looking for stuff that I can chunk out the hips with for some contrast. I have three of those Hanan fancy gallabeyias that see a lot of action but I am getting sick of them. My FB profile pic Welcome to Facebook even wearing hip and butt pads show how my shoulders are wider than my hips and you can even there see the tummy poking out even though the picture is shot from behind. Yes, I am my worst enemy on this.

oh, now that is a cute dress! & I'd LOVE more suggestions on where to find complimentary costumes!

Originally Posted by Lara L

oh, now that is a cute dress! & I'd LOVE more suggestions on where to find complimentary costumes!

My "Bellydance Plus" web site has some Costume Goddess articles with suggestions on disguising figure flaws and some photo galleries of plus-sized dancers. Even if you're not plus-sized, you might get some ideas for how to disguise your particular issues:

Bellydance for Plus-Sized Women, Belly Dance for Full-Figured Women, and Bellydancing for Big Beautiful Women (BBW)

In the photo galleries, look at my photos for some dress ideas that aren't folkloric-style gallabiyas. The designer who created most of those dresses was Hanan Mahmoud.

Originally Posted by *Shira*

Aside from that, eliminate high fructose corn syrup from your diet if you haven't already done so, and keep starchy foods such as potatoes and bread down to a minimum. Carbs with a high glycemic index will promote the development of belly fat.

I'd add avoiding salt as well--it will make you retain water and cause bloating.

I've been in your boat, that's the most stubborn weight to lose

Gotta admit - all of the women in my family have the belly pooch, no matter what their weight is. Back when I was working full time as an aerobics instructor, busting my butt in classes night n day and doing a jillion sit-ups a week I would still get the question, from students, from snotty boutique clerks - "are you knocked up?" Plus I'd had a bikini-cut scar from two ectopic pregnancies that made the pooch even worse. The careless comments used to bring me to tears.
If my jeans fit everywhere else, they wouldn't zip. If they could zip, they were huge everywhere else. For my forty-something birthday I finally had liposuction and never looked back. Can't believe what a wonderful difference it made! What a thrill it's been to have the body I deserve after all of that hard work! I'm just sayin.

Originally Posted by zamora

..fiber !..get some colon cleanse.....stuff gets stuck...diverticulitus ....sp, will "look " like this too.

I agree with this. Especially if you eat red meat, but you've never done any kind of body cleanse, food literally gets stuck in your intestines and it has the appearance of hard roundness in your gut. Like, stuck for years. Not joking.
It can contribute to all kinds of health issues, including depleted energy, stamina, etc.

Hope this helps.

Originally Posted by *Shira*

There are some medical conditions that could cause this. You might want to consult your gynecologist.

Aside from that, eliminate high fructose corn syrup from your diet if you haven't already done so, and keep starchy foods such as potatoes and bread down to a minimum. Carbs with a high glycemic index will promote the development of belly fat.

I agree with Shira!

Sandra Cabot has a fantastic book on Syndrome X. It explains everything. And she recommeneds eating low GI, low carb. It has to do with hormones also. You said you had a hysterectomy, that would be part of it-the hormones and such.

where your fat goes is genetic, the idea that certain foods put fat in specific places is just like the idea that doing sit ups will burn the fat over your stomach. when i gain weight it goes over my stomach and gives me the preggers look, plus the bottom of my stomach has that "i wish i were a 6 pack" tuck in the middle and so it looks like a front butt. i can loose weight in general, but i SO wish i could take the fat off my tummy and stick it on my hips instead.... alas.....
if it's not fat but some kind of bloat, ask your dr. i don't have any other advice, but a :hug: and to say good luck.

ps: i totally thought this was going to be a thread about a dancer who looked family friendly in pictures/advertisement/website and turned out to be rated R. ^_~

Lots of great advice here. I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
I agree- getting checked out (not from a gyno in your case, but a gp or even seeing a nutritionist), might help. I notice a big difference when I eat yogurt with live cultures. My body reacts well to this... just another idea.

Originally Posted by raqFariha

ps: i totally thought this was going to be a thread about a dancer who looked family friendly in pictures/advertisement/website and turned out to be rated R. ^_~

I am SO relieved to know I'm not the only one who thought something like that. I was thinking it was about trying to "package ourselves" (ie costuming) in a very conservative way when some very conservative people might still perceive us as more NC-17 or even X- no matter what we wear.

I am soooo sorry your hubby didn't keep his mouth shut....my ex made a comment once (well, it's among a string of many actually). He said 'what is THAT?' whilst pointing at my belly. This was right before bellydance class and I cried all the way there. I'd felt pretty cute then BAM my self confidence was in the toilet.

In other words, I sympathize and can totally relate.

Not much advice here, but belly covers jewelled to match your bedlahs would look absolutely smashing, especially if you glue or bedazzle in patterns. I buy from a great seller from eBay...her prices are good and if I remember correctly her covers are seamless. She's also a lovely person. If you like I'll give you her store name if you pm me.

No one has mentioned dairy here. For some people that is a trigger for tummy bulge. I don't know if you are on hormone replacement therapy, but you might want to have your hormone levels checked as well. Many post menopausal women have issues around their tummies.

Take some action, and don't let people who suffer from hoof in mouth disease get you down!

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by Souzan

A few weeks ago hubby told me that I looked like I was pregnant. Like 6 months pregnant. Okay, I am OLD and definitely NOT pregnant. I was furious at him and he did apologise for not being supportive, but it has only eaten at me more and more and undermined my confidence.

I've lost weight but it only makes my belly look bigger and bigger. My waist, abdominal measurement, and upper hip measurement has not budged AT ALL after losing over 35 lbs. Costumes look terrible, certain torso isolations are impossible to see. I find myself altering my dancing to face forward only so that you can't see the belly poking out as much.

This is bad. Intellectually I know that when dancing I am not thinking about it and I know that the audience is seeing the whole and not zooming in on just one thing. But emotionally it doesn't help. Now I have a bunch of performances coming up and nothing looks right. The problem is that this is not proportional. I feel like I have this big round hard ball perched on top of long slender legs and narrow hips andit saps all the gooey right out of me.

I am so sorry that your husband said that to you. Sometimes people don't realize that when they say something that is no big deal to them it really sticks with us. But from what I know you are a beautiful dancer and a beautiful woman. So think of that instead of the negative. :zillgallop:

Thank you everyone for your support and concern. There is alot of stuff going on that I am fighting--age, genetics, body type, etc. I have a picture of my aunt and grandmother in one piece bathing suits. Aunt was probably her 30s and grandmother was in her 50s. They were basically thin, long legged women with huge bellies. So I know where I inherited the apple shape from. Mine just happens to be paired with broad shoulders and back and even when I was 130 lbs I still had that basic shape, just with less blubber in the middle.

I've been feeling sorry for myself. Basically I know what to do as far as eating is concerned. My dad died from diabetes related complications when he was younger than I am now. My brother and one sister are insulin dependent. I am one of the only family members who isn't diabetic.

My "gut" feeling (excuse the pun) is that this problem is a combo of genetic fat distribution and bloating for some reason. Just switched back to soy and almond milk and off fat free cows milk. I do eat goat's milk yogurt and I take acidophilus gels daily. Need to be more carefully gluten free. When I've knuckled down to cut out the gluten I have felt better and seen the bloating go down. Drinking more water.

And I just need to keep pumping myself up and telling myself that when I dance people aren't totally focused on the size of my belly and if they are then they are the ones with the problem and not me.

oh- you might try kombucha for a dairy free option for keeping gut-bacteria in balance- I love it, & dairy definitely does not do good things for me!