Thread: Bedlahs: How old or young should you be to wear one?

After a rather weird posting about a random hafla picture of me on a friend's fb account, I paused and wondered "Is there an age where we should stop wearing bra and belt sets?"

The post said "nice costume but not fit for your age."

The costume was a standard beaded Egyptian style bra and belt worn with a double chiffon circle skirt.

I am 43. Not sure if this is even a valid question worth giving any steam to or not. I mean, I see dancers of all shapes sized and ages in traditional costumes so what's the problem? I just always thought you chose a costume based on comfort, dance style, color, type of dance, etc.

Fellow bhuzzers in my peer/age group: Y'all still bare your bellies right?..l;, OR more specifically, how do your costuming choices change (if at all) as you get older?

I'm 55 and I wear them, but with a sheer body stocking. Fortunately my upper arms are not at the "flapping" point yet, but when it gets to that, I'll continue to wear bedlah sets, with addition of bolero vest, Turkish vest or U top with sleeves (all of which I already wear sometimes anyway).
Rosette

Ugh to the comment. Seems like being on line is like being in a car: Any semblance of courtesy gets thrown out the window. Wear what you like and what you feel good in.

PS my troupe leader is 71, she wore a bedlah until recent surgeries (and rocked it, too I might add), she does a lot of strategical fabric draping now though.

I am assuming maybe it was a non bellydancer who said that... for what i can tell based upon your photos on bhuz you still look quite fabulous at 43. Unfortunately outside of the bellydance world there are people who have their own presumptions of what is appropriate for age range weight etc. I would say that for a restaurant/professional environment as a professional if your body is in far less than "ideal" shape say very very wrinkly people might find that unappealing and then maybe instead of a bare belly do a belly cover or a full dress cabaret costume, but I hope to wear costumes baring belly until im beyond 50s if my body is still fitting the costume as well. I don't think there is an actual "age" someone should change their costuming.

Age has nothing to do with it. Wear a bedlah if it looks good and you feel comfortable in them. I am almost 60 and have stopped wearing bedlah about 5 years ago. I just didn't feel comfy. However, I will dance until I croak.

Related story to age: People have approached me and said: "Do you still dance at your age?" Aren't you getting too old to perform, etc. etc. But once I wore a long red wig, and was not recognized. Got a lot of compliments on my dance, people wondering who that dancer was. Were they surprised when I told them it was me in a wig!!!. HAHAHA! revenge was sweet.

WTF???? I know some very high-profile dancers, as well as some local girls, who are in their 40's and look dynamite in bedlah. That is the most ridiculous piece of fashion "advice" I've heard in a long time. Let me guess, they think everybody should chop off their hair into a modest bob when they reach a certain age, too. ,r:;

At 55, I still wear one, but I have been blessed with good collagen genes. My belly looks about half my age. I do cover my upper arms as time and weight loss has not been so kind there.

People can be so mean with their snide little comments, can't they? You must have disturbed some little box they had put everyone over 20 into. Like everyone said 'wear what you feel comfortable dancing in'. I'm 50 and wear sleeves and a body stocking with my bedleh, for I've had kids that left my belly looking like tiger striped camo print! Yikes! So, I feel self-conscious when I don't wear a body stocking. I hope that ning-nongs' comment doesn't make you feel self-conscious just because you're (only) 43!! Plenty o' shimmys left in your bedleh I'm sure.

I say it's up to the wearer. Insecure people are going to find some negative comment to make, no matter what, so scr3w 'em and do what you want.

Bahtya darling, here is a Bhuz link that will boost your spirit up!

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/rest-belly...e-dancers.html

It was a spinoff of photos of mature dancers, it's been almost 2 years ago, maybe we should do a "spinoff of the spinoff" because some of the pretty pics are not there anymore.

I agree with CalgaryBibi: "so scr3w 'em and do what you want."

Qamar

I agree that it's entirely determined by what's flattering--nothing to do with age.

I've seen young girls who should have covered up, and older women who really rocked bedlah.

I'll be 46 in November and I still wear bedlahs and GASP, Lycra two piece sets! If it looks good on you, wear whatever you damn well please.

I also agree that age has nothing to do with it-figure type, shape, etc. do.

Anyone can wear a bedlah if it is done correctly. If you got it-flaunt it! If you have issues, they can easily be camoflauged by what type of bra or skirt style you are wearing...and arm issues can be covered with sleeves, l Rose U tops, etc. Belly issues can be camoflauged with belly stockings like Sugarpetals. There are solutions to about every figure concern.

I also wanted to say I LOOOOOOVED the link to the thread featuring photos of all of the older dancers! I LOOOOOVED it!

I think it largely depends on how competent you are at finding clothes that flatter your body. A dancer of any age looks foolish in a costume that doesn't fit properly, or plays up less desirable features. Maybe that means you go bare-stomach in a two piece, or maybe that means wearing a modest dress with a lot more coverage. This conversation came up recently here http://www.bhuz.com/forum/belly-danc...rrrrrrrrr.html.

I think it all depends - in general, no, there is no age line, there is just the rule that a costume should look great for the dancer at the particular performance.

Now, to be honest, I am not a fan of dancers wearing unflattering, puzzling, confusing or in other ways inappropriate costumes on stage, just for the sake of self-expression, because that does not do justice to the dance - i.e., I do not support "wear what you want", instead, I strongly feel that "do not let uninformed, unaccountable utterances on the internet impact what you do" (which is where I'd file the initial comment). And, I also think that for a professional dancer at paid events, the requriements are a bit different from workshop shows and community events, where artistic freedom and a more informed audience gives one a lot more choices.

I agree with that, you must feel comfortable with the costume you wear. We all must be aware of our limitations, I absolutly love the turkish costumes with a lot of cuts or the skirts that usually wear Sandra, but I don´t really feel so comfortable on these because I have strong muscles on my legs. Some people loves to do distasteful coments, so you don´t have to pay attention on that.
I think all our style changes with the age, a few years ago I love a childish princess style and I can see how my taste is changing, I preffer another kind of costumes, but If you want to do a change in your closet do it because you don´t really like it or want something diferent, not because someone say that you should´nt wear a beldah

delete their comment and do what you like. its your life and your art. if that over 40 nonsense was true, we'd never see most of our genre's master instructors in a 2 piece costume! don't want to call anyone out, but think about it... think about who headlines at our biggest festivals and events. think about who your dream instructors are. i'm certain this "over 40 rule" should be ignored

I'd delete the comment and probably unfriend the person to boot.

My first instructor is in her late 50's now, and she looks better in bedlah than I do!

I had the same sort of issue until a little while back when I posted the "mutton dressed as lamb" thread. I'm 43 and always felt I came to bellydance too late to do it justice and that years of bad relationships and children had sucked the life out of me. I realize now that I have substance and that my dance, even when I used to hide it from my ex, kept me going and kept me feeling alive. Now I am free to feel ecstatic and if that means wearing sparkly bedlah, so be it. I feel on a steady climb out of my "age" rut and there is no backsliding this time. This dance is a gift. So is the supportive community on Bhuz. Don't let jealous, mean-spirited people kill your spirit!

I wore a bedlah in my early fifties.My skin tone was fine and the figure was OK. I am selling my last two pieces bar one which has a choli top and one with a well-covering body stocking with long sleeves. Why ?I feel better, at 63 in a dress. I dance at haflas and in theatre not professionally but I still want to dress well and appropriately. I do know women of my age and older who wear bedlah but they all wear body stockings and some kind of long gauntlet. It's all about choice and you feel better in. I like my dresses: life is less complicated than the extras I would have to wear with a bedlah. It's always worth listening to others' opinions but in the end, we have the ight to wear what we want.

There are some very shallow, mean people in this world. Wear what makes you feel good. Be comfortable with who you are. Let it all flow together-after all, it's your dance.... :)

There are so many dancers out there with frankly incredible bodies who are closer to 60 than 50 who look absolutely fantastic in bedleh. Hadia looks amazing. Delilah looks amazing. I've never seen Cory IRL but she's got a great physique based on videos and I imagine she also looks amazing. But there are also heaps of older ladies who are hobby dancers for whom getting their bellies out is totally liberating and if they want to wear bedleh I think they should.

I still wear bedleh though I do actually prefer dresses in a lot of ways, but that is largely down to fat. My skin tone is still OK, though I think Mum-Style Cellulite is on its way. I'd like to start exploring the wonderful world of body stockings soon, and if you've got the right one of those, you can continue to wear bedleh FOR EVER as far as I'm concerned.

If I were in a position to purchase costumes, or a much better seamstress, I'd definitely consider bedleh or dresses with built-in short sleeves. I like that look and think it's flattering and youthful.

I do have issues with bedleh being worn too young. I don't like it on children and I'm wary of it on adolescents. We used to have a general rule of 15 for bedleh, with a choli-type top and belt being considered more appropriate before that.

ummm, Princess Farahana? 'nuf said ^_~

Thanks for posting that thread, Qamar. I thoroughly enjoyed that. I'm 54 and I wear bedlah when I feel it's the right look for the dance. I keep buying them so I had better wear them!

I still wear bedlah at 59, but as I posted in another thread, it gets a little complicated - gotta have a body stocking, gotta have sleeves, arm bands or gauntlets. I like a vest to cover most of my back. My legs are good but I feel better in more modest costumes so I don't flash that much leg, just a little bit. Plus I wear a wig, my hair is hopeless, always has been super fine and thin. And false eyelashes. And make up, blah blah blah.

Is it just me or is anyone shocked that 43 is considered "old"?!?!? I mean, I think I'll barely be hitting my stride at 43!

Originally Posted by Khuzama

I am assuming maybe it was a non bellydancer who said that... for what i can tell based upon your photos on bhuz you still look quite fabulous at 43.

Nah, sadly it is a fellow dancer. I don't know her personally but the person on who's FB acct. she posted her comment on knows who she is. My friend told this person where to go and unfriended her to boot.

Originally Posted by khalima

PS my troupe leader is 71, she wore a bedlah until recent surgeries (and rocked it, too I might add), she does a lot of strategical fabric draping now though.

Yes! My wonderful instructor is 60 and still wears hers, though her dancing is amazing and she can rock her bra and belt sets. I cringed at this evil poster not because I thought I was too old, but because I thought, "Oh $*%t what if I am trying dress more experienced than my actual dancing?" Princess Farhana and other "seasoned" headliners as SatinWorship mentioned also happen to be incredibly skilled dancers. My first reaction upon reading that ugly comment was not so much about my age but whether I looked completely ridiculous based on skill level. Does that make sense?

Thanks for the support. And I remember the mature dancer's thread. I think I even posted on it how amazing these women are.

Here are a few pix of me -- late 40's through late 50's -- I'm still feeling comfortable as long as I exercise, stay off the sugar, etc. -- but you decide (if you don't like them, have at it, I can take it, lol!): (But I HATE that "line" I can't seem to get rid of right at the waist -- is it from a seated day job all those years? How in the world do you get rid of that at any age? Seems I've had it forever.)
age :: 9-26-2009-10.jpg picture by NAIYADANCER - Photobucket

Late 40's:


And these are all in my early to late 50's:



(I'm in black--around 56,57?):



And at 58:

I'm 52 and I still wear a bedlah (without a body stocking) I did start to worry about it when I got to 50 and I asked several people who i knew i could trust to be honest. They all said I should carry on wearing it.

The only thing though is that I no longer feel comfortable doing closeup gigs for the general public. I don't do restaurant work or bellygrams any more. I do think the general public (men particularly) want to see pretty young things with youthful bodies.

However I do a lot of public appearances promoting my classes with my students - shopping centres and so on - where I bare my belly. And I do women-only gigs like hen parties.

But other than that my performances are all on stage where I know the lighting and the distance cover up the flaws

Edited to say: I've just visited your profile and had a look at your pictures. That woman is bonkers!! If I had a bod like yours I'd have it out every day of the week!!!!!