Thread: Cleavage?

I like showing a lot of cleavage, is that okay? I'm full busted and I want to show off what was given to me.

Several years ago a fellow dance mate, less endowed than me, but had more than enough, made a comment that I was showing too much, but she didn't say it in a very nice way.

Honestly, I didn't think I was showing that much and it didn't even occur to me that I was being obnoxious. This gave me a complex and her comment made me angry. I felt I was adequately covered.

Do you think she said this because she was jealous or because she was warning me about showing too much? The tops of the bra were no where near showing my nipples ,m::.

Azeeza

It's really hard to say whether the amount of cleavage you were showing that day might be shockingly offensive or sensually attractive without actually SEEING it.

I like cleavage in general, but there is such a thing as 'too much cleavage YIKES' that distracts from the dance rather than enhancing it. Where to draw that line is going to be a subjective matter and differ from person to person.

Pictures of the costume you were wearing that day might help us make an assessment, if you want our opinions?

p.s. It's so maddening not having pictures on Bhuz anymore!

I have no cleavage to speak of but also have no jealousy issues,r:;
Tastefully displayed cleavage is great...I dislike seeing dancers striving for cleavage who wear too small of a bra and end up with excessive amounts of boob showing at the outer edges (like the arm pit) of the bra too...do you know what I mean? As long as the bra fits well, I say go for it!!!

I love cleavage in costumes. I tend to be VERY conservative in dressing for my everyday life, but that's just my personal preference - not my prescription for women in general.

I tend to dislike people who exhibit negative interest in my clothing choices, and distrust their motives.

Personally, I think if you are in no danger of a wardrobe malfunction from an unfortunate spin or what have you, your top fits well and attractively (a real art for us well endowed types, definitely), you aren't showing more than you meant to when you bend over, and it isn't distracting from the dance (as Lauren mentions) then there is no shame in showing how you are built. Unless the dancer had a specific comment genuinely warning you eg. that when you bent down you were showing more than you had intended, etc., and had meant it kindly but it came out wrong, then I would chalk it up to her being catty for no other reason other than indulging her own insecurities. If you think this is the case, then consider the source and realize, its not you, its her that has the problem. There are better ways of introducing a criticism without tearing someone's self esteem down with it.

Okay, this is from my perspective: THEY'RE BOOBS!!!! As long as they are properly covered and supported, why is it anyone's business besides ours? Someone is always going to have an issue. Hades, I have worn a conservative Galabaya and had people give me grief about my cleavage. I have worn bedlahs which I felt were so - so and had people comment that I had a great bustline and should be proud of it. (Nothing like having Anisia rearranging your rack in the middle of a restaurant to show you how you "should" be wearing your costume.)

So do what you are comfortable with within the lines of properly fitted and covered. And ignore anyone who might have an agenda.

{{{HUGS}}}

It is hard to say, without knowing what she said, the situation, and what you were wearing. There are some situations where being covered makes more sense; for instance, I'm in a dance play, and we need to be a bit more covered, trying keeping it as family friendly as possible (I think the town is fairly conservative). However, that is a fairly unusual situation.

As long as your costume is well-fitted and you feel comfortable in it, you're probably fine.

There isn't an automatic problem with cleavage per se. If your costume fits properly, and that's the body you have, then that's fine. However, there is an aspect that the sexxxier your costuming is, the more you will be judged for wearing it. I'm not saying this is right or fair, just that it is. Dina likes to show a lot of cleavage, and I dare say there's been almost as much talk about her breasts and how trashy she does or doesn't look as there's been about her actual dancing over the years.

Our culture has a very erotic association with breasts, and especially when you put a lot of boobage in front of the GP, that's all some of them will see. If you accept that and want to flaunt it anyway, it's your choice, but there's a reason why nobody is rushing to give Pamela Anderson the role of Lady Macbeth, and it isn't because she's not much of a Shakespearean actress. It's because people don't pay much attention to what kind of actress she is when they're staring at her chest. Yeah, she does intentionally cultivate that kind of attention, but where's the line between what she's doing and wanting approval to show off how well endowed you are? Even if you know the difference, will the audience?

I think that one can easily show too much cleavage, even when the girls are safe and secure in the bra without any danger of nipple showing. As a confessing costume prude ;-), I prefer it when dancers wear costumes that are hot and sassy while not showing too much. I really, honestly don't like seeing popped up breasts, super-low belts and lots of leg slits, no matter how attractive the dancer; it's not something I enjoy (apologies to everybody who happily wears costumes that fall under my dislikes - no personal attack, just sharing my taste!!!). And, being blessed with cleavage-happy boobies myself, I can say for sure that not every negative reaction is based on jealousy or insecurity, sometimes it really means that people don't like it. If I get to wonder whether you may have a costume malfunction or if I can see what color and cut of undies you wear, it's too much for my costume-prude self.

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

Our culture has a very erotic association with breasts, and especially when you put a lot of boobage in front of the GP, that's all some of them will see. If you accept that and want to flaunt it anyway, it's your choice, but there's a reason why nobody is rushing to give Pamela Anderson the role of Lady Macbeth, and it isn't because she's not much of a Shakespearean actress. It's because people don't pay much attention to what kind of actress she is when they're staring at her chest. Yeah, she does intentionally cultivate that kind of attention, but where's the line between what she's doing and wanting approval to show off how well endowed you are? Even if you know the difference, will the audience?

Funny you should mention Pam Anderson. Back in the late '90's when Sony was making VIP, we tried to dress her more conservatively. She wanted to dress more conservatively. Still showing a little cleavage and leg, but suits mainly. The feed back which we received was that Pam had too many clothes on. Within 48 hours, she had switched back to wearing trashy clothing to public appearances. It was a marketing ploy, nothing more, nothing less.

The other thing which I think is really relevant here is that as women, on a whole, we are time and again told that we should be ashamed of our bodies. That we should cover them so that we don't make others uncomfortable. Well, screw that! Not that I am all for "flaunting" my body, buy I also don't believe I should have to wear a shroud because someone might be uncomfortable with my boobs. Or butt or legs.

As we know from the ME, even fully covered women can be sexualized. And how many men have fantasies about Nun's in full habit?

I go back to what I said before,properly covered, well supported, properly fitted. Beyond that, it's all a personal decision. Be prepared to take responsibility for your choices, but also understand that there is always going to be someone who is going to have an opinion which is in conflict with yours. And that is all it is. Their opinion. Everyone gets to decide how important that is individually.

{{{HUGS}}}