Thread: This skirt makes me look fat... and I like it?

I fell in love with a King of the Nile costume last year and had to have it. I sold every bit of little costumes that I had (hip scarves, skirts, accessories, etc.) to get the funds for it.

When I got it, I loved it even more. The weird thing is that I know for a fact that the skirt makes my hips look quite broad... and they are very full to begin with! Normally this would bother me. If I tried on a skirt at the mall and it looked like this, I wouldn't buy it. Yet somehow, I relish the emphasis. Have I lost my mind?

Here is a video of me in the costume (if you want to critique the dancing head on over to the Student Center forum where it's a separate thread):


Has anyone else experienced this kind of reversal of what you normally tolerate or look for in clothing? It's a strange feeling for sure.

I never really understood the Americans' beauty ideal of narrow hips. No offense to women with narrow hips, but I always thought wide hips were a quality men liked on women and women wanted on themselves, until of course I moved to the US.

I think in most places in the world you would never have to feel bad for having wide hips. Of course, you'd probably be made feel bad for a variety of other reasons, since society seems especially harsh on women's beauty no matter where you are, but this would surely be something you wouldn't have to worry about.

Society's standards aside, I am of the opinion that variety is a good thing and people should embrace it. In my opinion, all body types can be beautiful if they are well taken care of. Healthy people have different shapes, different weights, a different amount of muscle or fat mass, unlike what many in the fitness industry want us to think. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone could embrace this idea and if individuals could love themselves for who they are.

^There is a point here. Who cares what shape and size you are? Are YOU happy? And it sounds like you are! (but any man who passes me up because I don't have big baby-makin' hips has my express invitation to keep on walking, 'cause these hips aren't gonna be making any babies anyway and he can find a broodmare somewhere else. I want a guy who finds me attractive for ME, not for what he thinks my body can do for him.)

I don't think the skirt makes your hips look broad at all, though. I mean, I've never seen you in one that you think doesn't make your hips look broad, but I was expecting, y'know, maybe a Sumerian fertility goddess likeness after your lead-up, lol. I think you look great, and the skirt looks great ON you.

I don't think the skirt makes your hips look especially broad. It's a snug fit, but that is the style. And hips are doin' the talkin' a lot in our dance, so hips are a good thing, right?

I do think you should consider shortening the bra straps a bit, it will give you a longer torso, which is also good.

Very pretty costume!

Hi!

I would suggest two little things that might help:

First: Please, shorten the bra-straps! They definitely are too long. If you would do that, your cleavage would look better.

Second: If it works concerning the length of your skirt: Wear it higher up on your hips. That's what I do with this style of skirts as I have big hips, too. That often helps a lot.

Hope, I could help you.

Love, Sahira.

Oh my gosh!!! I love it!!! What an amazing skirt! I think it looks good on you! And I do not think you have very big hips, mine are 40 inches, and I have a 27 inch waist.

I really like it on you! Maybe you could shorten the bra straps a little, but I dont think you are wearing the skirt too low! =)

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

I think the world would be a much better place if everyone could embrace this idea and if individuals could love themselves for who they are.

Amen. I actually changed when I eat my lunch because I was absolutely bombarded with obsessive diet talk at work by the self-haters - exercise routines, calories to be burned that day, careful examination of everyone's lunch for "problem foods", endless discussions about how the office manager shouldn't bring in cookies, but should bring in vegetable plates for coffee breaks (broccoli doesn't cut it for dipping in one's coffee, btw), regimes compared, comments like "oh, that is good exercise" when you mention you dance (as opposed to , "that sounds like fun" - and effectively turns the conversation BACK to exercise in general...), "hints" for others to lose weight via Jenny Craig coupons taped to the fridge, etc - I couldn't take it anymore. They are currently mad at me for ditching them, but I am sure there is more to the world than hating yourself like that, and I don't want to be part of that obsession.

Jungleflowers: Love the skirt! You look in proportion to me. I do agree with the shortening of the straps on the top though, as the other girls have mentioned. Otherwise, fantastic!

I know about the straps. :)

Tourbeau was the first to point it out in the other forum. I am working on hiking the girls up much higher by shortening the straps several inches.

The design of the skirt would look someone with a wide back side look wider... thats part of the design- its got wings spanning out POINTING to the width of that area. Its like looking at art- only this emphesis the hip/butt area.

Its doing EXACTLY what it was designed to do.

So if you're goal was to try to look leaner- than no- this isn't it.

If your goal was to purchase a costume that you love- this is it.

As far as the rest of the banter going on- there is NOTHING wrong with being concerned with weight/health issues.

I do not believe one should be obessed about and have it dominate your life.

Moderation is everything- but the reality is America is one of the most overweight and needs to accept that there are very real health issues regarding nutritian exersice and weight issues.

Judging someone over being concerned with weight and nutritian is just as bad as judgin someone for being comfortable with being a little more on the hefty side.

It sounds to me like quamar's coworkers are on the "obsessed" side. I mean, they inspect everybody's else's food so they can criticize it? Complain about the FREE food someone else brings in for them rather than just, y'know, not eating it or bringing some in themselves? Post nasty little passive-aggressive "hints" on the fridge for people THEY deem as overweight? Nope, sorry, that doesn't strike me as normal OR healthy.

I'd give this bunch the miss as well. I too think to some extent about whether what I eat is healthy. But I decided a long time ago that nobody is going to make me feel guilty for eating. I got tired of seeing references in magazines to "sinful" foods and such. REALLY? Try telling someone in a 3rd-world country that eating is "sinful." One shouldn't eat a whole chocolate cake solo, but one cookie never killed anyone, and anybody who wants to lambaste me for doing so knows where they can go and shove a hot coal up their you-know-what.

If you've ever looked at some exercise sites, especially the ones that lean toward weightlifting and such, the obsession with eating "clean" is horrible. It's one thing if that's what you choose FOR YOURSELF, but to imply someone else is an awful person for eating a cupcake or some french fries or a piece of white bread or a handful of potato chips just ONCE is ridiculous. I stopped reading those sites and that sort of articles because I found I was feeling guilty just for THINKING about fast food. I don't want to live my life obsessing like that, and I don't appreciate when someone else tells me I have to.

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

I never really understood the Americans' beauty ideal of narrow hips. No offense to women with narrow hips, but I always thought wide hips were a quality men liked on women and women wanted on themselves, until of course I moved to the US.

I think in most places in the world you would never have to feel bad for having wide hips. Of course, you'd probably be made feel bad for a variety of other reasons, since society seems especially harsh on women's beauty no matter where you are, but this would surely be something you wouldn't have to worry about.

Society's standards aside, I am of the opinion that variety is a good thing and people should embrace it. In my opinion, all body types can be beautiful if they are well taken care of. Healthy people have different shapes, different weights, a different amount of muscle or fat mass, unlike what many in the fitness industry want us to think. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone could embrace this idea and if individuals could love themselves for who they are.

I'm narrow hipped and while I'm fine with it, when I'm dancing I deliberately try to make them seem wider via costuming in order to emphasize the hip movements and make me feel more voluptuous. But yeah, all types are beautiful!

I am narrow hipped (as well as bustily challenged) which makes me a poor canidate for bellydance I guess. I have to ADD poufy veils, and stuff to the sides of my hips so one can actually see the movement. Thank goodness for poufing and padding.

I think the skirt looks good, and be thankful for your hips. Take it from me...

Originally Posted by Bahtya

I am narrow hipped (as well as bustily challenged) which makes me a poor canidate for bellydance I guess.

Nonsense! The uniqueness of each dancer's body creates unique variations in movement. (Thus the difficulty of coordinating a large group of bellydancers to dance the same in a choreography!) If we all looked the same, it wouldn't be as interesting.

It's not the body, but the way it moves, that makes a dancer.