Thread: If this were YOUR belly... (pics included)

Short question: Looks at the pics below, and answer honestly. If this were YOUR belly, would you:

A) Feel fine about wearing any two-piece costume.
B) Feel alright with a two-piece costume that sits higher on the hips (i.e. covers more of the wrinkly lower belly).
C) Want to find a subtle way to hide the belly button itself (long fringe, etc).
D) Want to cover it entirely with something like a belly stocking/dress.

I'm especially interested in knowing how the bright lights of a stage might affect how those wrinkles look.



Background: I have never in my life worn a two-piece swimming suit, or any clothing that didn't totally cover my torso, including shoulders. I have had two pregnancies, one especially large, and still have a pooch and some a bit of wrinkly skin on my lower belly. I have about 10 lbs I'm trying to lose, and I've heard that might help, but I realize I might still have a wrinkly belly when I'm through losing weight. The good news is my stretch marks are white and fairly inconspicuous.

I'd like to know whether I could seriously consider wearing a bedlah/two-piece costume, or whether my belly would look weird/distracting to the audience. I know about Sugar Petals, fringe, scarves, etc, so I'm not looking for info on how to cover my belly, but rather whether I should. I also know there's a certain steely mindset I could adopt about wearing whatever I want, whenever I want, but I want to be realistic about what actually looks good!



Here I am standing up, but with no engagement in my abs (not how I normally stand, but would look like this during belly rolls, etc):


Light engagement, good posture, usual look:


Hard tuck, like for omis, etc:


Bent over, as in back of large hip circle:


Extended sideways for hip slide, maya, etc:

I am going to give you a non-answer: you decide. I understand what your concern is. But there are always going to be people who are overly invested in aesthetics and will have opinions about whether or not your belly - or mine or Shakiras - looks good enough to be uncovered. They are just an opinion. Every body has them.

Now, before you start to make you decision, I would also suggest that instead of still photos, you might want to get a video camera out and film yourself with a crop top and hip scarf and see what you feel like after that.

{{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by tahiradancer

Now, before you start to make you decision, I would also suggest that instead of still photos, you might want to get a video camera out and film yourself with a crop top and hip scarf and see what you feel like after that.

{{{{HUGS}}}

Second this, definitely. See how YOU feel you look. If you can get out there and feel confident in yourself and able to simply dance rather than worrying about "How does my belly look, what do they think, etc etc" then do it.

On the other hand, if you will be thinking about how you look and what people think of your belly rather than thinking about the music, the feel, your love of dance....use a sheer cover or whatever will get you to where you can dance unencumbered by thoughts of your appearance.

Let me start by saying that you have the most expressive little belly button ever! To be frank, you have a nice trim figure and I don't know where you would loose those extra 10lbs but your tummy does show that its lost some tone--it has adorable laugh lines {{{hugs}}}
I think your tummy looks lovely. It doesn't look misshapen or grotesque. It doesn't look like a childless 20-something year old's tummy either. Here's the thing, self confidence is not a fixed quantity. It varies from day to day, and situation to situation. Just because you *can* do something doesn't mean you'll *want* to every time. If you're concerned than split the difference--get some cossies that you can wear w/ or w/out a well coordinated body stocking so you have options.
I think you should feel confident wearing a 2-piece costume, with no tummy hiding fringe. IMO you *can* go for it and you should. If you hate the way it feels and it takes away from your joy and confidence, put on the body stocking. Just don't forget to take it off sometimes.

Originally Posted by nayastrance

Here's the thing, self confidence is not a fixed quantity. It varies from day to day, and situation to situation. Just because you *can* do something doesn't mean you'll *want* to every time. If you're concerned than split the difference--get some cossies that you can wear w/ or w/out a well coordinated body stocking so you have options.

best piece of advice EVER.

Its hard to explain to people how you can feel simply bombshell amazing one day- and feel like a complete sack of lard the next day- but it can and does happen.

continue seeing the beauty in your dance and build a wardrobe that makes you feel awesome.

Originally Posted by nayastrance

Let me start by saying that you have the most expressive little belly button ever! To be frank, you have a nice trim figure and I don't know where you would loose those extra 10lbs but your tummy does show that its lost some tone--it has adorable laugh lines {{{hugs}}}
I think your tummy looks lovely. It doesn't look misshapen or grotesque. It doesn't look like a childless 20-something year old's tummy either. Here's the thing, self confidence is not a fixed quantity. It varies from day to day, and situation to situation. Just because you *can* do something doesn't mean you'll *want* to every time. If you're concerned than split the difference--get some cossies that you can wear w/ or w/out a well coordinated body stocking so you have options.
I think you should feel confident wearing a 2-piece costume, with no tummy hiding fringe. IMO you *can* go for it and you should. If you hate the way it feels and it takes away from your joy and confidence, put on the body stocking. Just don't forget to take it off sometimes.

Nayastrance gave the perfect answer! If I had your cute little tummy, I would show it off in a flash Yes I'd have body stockings for those times when I don't like myself and yes I'd also have a glamorous dress as well, but 2 piece costumes would rock my wardrobe!

Let me be frank:

A - SH!T YEAH!



Seriously, honey - if I had your figure I would be showing it off with no shame whatsoever. Seriously, even the hawtest hardest hardbody has issues with pooch/stretchmarks/wrinkly bits at SOME range of motion and extension.

You. Are. Lovely. And whatever you want to wear, whatever makes you comfortable and confident so that you shine? Will look fantastic on you.

Hey, your belly looks exactly like mine! And I don't give a rats-ass what mine looks like and neither should you! In real-time nobody has stop action eyes that can catch those uber-bad omi-wrinkles. Only the belly owners that catch this level of detail. You could wear a tummy cover but there are lots of dancers who would be happy to have your belly. Worry not.

For God's sake woman, wear anything you want - you look great.

Originally Posted by wigglewhiz

Let me be frank:

A - SH!T YEAH!



Seriously, honey - if I had your figure I would be showing it off with no shame whatsoever. Seriously, even the hawtest hardest hardbody has issues with pooch/stretchmarks/wrinkly bits at SOME range of motion and extension.

You. Are. Lovely. And whatever you want to wear, whatever makes you comfortable and confident so that you shine? Will look fantastic on you.

Ditto!

But I want to add, I have been feeling all down about my figure, I recently purchased a tummy cover, from here (http://bellydancingdirect.com/) I decided to go with a blingy one because I figured everyone would see i'm wearing a net so why not work it, NOT only did it pull me in, but I LOOKED AND FELT fantastic. So if you are like me and no matter how beautiful you are you feel like a pile of poo, then get the stocking, work the slits, and wear the 2 piece and feel sexy!

p.s. I was really against the stocking for so long, and I am SO glad that I finally just got one, I dont wear it all the time, just when I feel like it, and it does really help my confidence. Instead of thinking "oh crap I have muffin top suck in", I think "Damn I look good" and this translates on stage and that is important.

Originally Posted by annwyn

decided to go with a blingy one because I figured everyone would see i'm wearing a net so why not work it, NOT only did it pull me in, but I LOOKED AND FELT fantastic. So if you are like me and no matter how beautiful you are you feel like a pile of poo, then get the stocking, work the slits, and wear the 2 piece and feel sexy!

I almost always wear a tummy net, especially since I got some blingy sparkly ones. It helps me feel that the jiggles are more under control so I don't think about it as much and focus on the dancing

I didn't really answer your question, but I don't think I can - it's up to you on each day :)

Are we talking GP performances or events for other dancers? Solos or troupe work where everyone is expected to conform to a particular style of costume? Because the answer may vary depending on these factors. For solos at dancer-only events, you'll have more leeway to wear whatever you like, but it would be naive to pretend that even there, you are completely immune to scowls, snide giggles, and "helpful" comments--for any number of reasons, some of which have nothing to do with whatever physical flaws you have or imagine you have. The downside of dancing for other people is that the audience tends to be filled with imperfect human beings who sometimes act out their own emotional baggage in your direction. No sense obsessing too much over that, because not everything in life is under your control.

At the end of the day, audiences tend to look at the whole package, and your dancing and personality can more than make up for a few physical imperfections. If you're not confident in a bare-midriff, two-piece costume, then there's a good chance this will be reflected in your performance, and that's probably a bigger problem than not being Queen of the Six-Pack Abs. Very few people have perfect bodies, and even if you are one of the lucky ones, it doesn't automatically follow that you'll have a corresponding gift of being a great dancer and entertainer. Looking hot in a skimpy costume doesn't guarantee you'll be worth watching, either.

Costuming is sort of like a min-max problem in high school algebra--you're looking for the best costume that makes you feel attractive, within your budget, and under the constraints of being consistent with the theme of your performance and your audience's expectations. You have to figure out what that solution is for you, and how it changes from show to show.

Here´s my two cents:
I don´t think that you "need"a bellynet.
But I´ve never seen a dancer that I think "needs"a bellynet.
I love flattering costumes on everybody,and what IMO looks good on me might not flatter another body type.

I *want* to wear a bellynet myself when wearing two piece costumes...it makes me more relaxed(I have a kind of neurotic relationship with my belly&upper arms)and I concentrate on audience rather than worrying about how I look.
So I wear them-and your tummy is JUST FINE in my book<3

I would rock that belly round every dance show in town if it were mine, but then I do the same with my own considerably larger belly anyway.

Only you can decide if you are comfortable enough with your body to dance with it uncovered (though if you're happy to post pics on line without the distraction of full costume and makeup, i'd say you're nearly there), but i think you can safely assume no one is going to run away screaming at the sight of it! We are much harder on our own bodies than on other people's!

Originally Posted by Alexa

Short question: Looks at the pics below, and answer honestly. If this were YOUR belly, would you:

A) Feel fine about wearing any two-piece costume.
B) Feel alright with a two-piece costume that sits higher on the hips (i.e. covers more of the wrinkly lower belly).
C) Want to find a subtle way to hide the belly button itself (long fringe, etc).
D) Want to cover it entirely with something like a belly stocking/dress.

I'm especially interested in knowing how the bright lights of a stage might affect how those wrinkles look.



Confession and background: I have never in my life worn a two-piece swimming suit, or any clothing that didn't totally cover my torso, including shoulders. It has been for religious reasons (I'm a recovering Mormon, as I like to say), but I'm moving beyond that part of my life and, in a nutshell, am ready to start my search for my first belly dance costume! So, if I sound like an ignoramus, understand that in some ways I am.

I have had two pregnancies, one especially large, and still have a pooch and some a bit of wrinkly skin on my lower belly. I have about 10 lbs I'm trying to lose, and I've heard that might help, but I realize I might still have a wrinkly belly when I'm through losing weight. The good news is my stretch marks are white and fairly inconspicuous.

I'd like to know whether I could seriously consider wearing a bedlah/two-piece costume, or whether my belly would look weird/distracting to the audience. I know about Sugar Petals, fringe, scarves, etc, so I'm not looking for info on how to cover my belly, but rather whether I should. I also know there's a certain steely mindset I could adopt about wearing whatever I want, whenever I want, everyone else can go to h---, but I want to be realistic about what actually looks good!



Here I am standing up, but with no engagement in my abs (not how I normally stand, but would look like this during belly rolls, etc):


Light engagement, good posture, usual look:


Hard tuck, like for omis, etc:


Bent over, as in back of large hip circle:


Extended sideways for hip slide, maya, etc:

i have had 2 dancers here that could not afford surgery. they pulled the loose skin down and used duct tape to hold it under their belt...don't laugh ! this is how drag queens get breasts...they tape fat from their backs to the front....all i know is that is works. you never would know unless you had a dressing room with these ladies .

I'm coming back after mulling over this thread some more, and I am going to DEMAND that you wear a two piece and dance in it and rock it! One of the great sides of our BD world is that non-professional dancers of every shape and size *can* put on a bedleh and dance in it, and I think they SHOULD.

My teacher created safe spaces for us to perform in and we were *required* to make and wear and perform in bedleh. It is *lifechanging*. It is lifechanging for a woman who is fat or old or scarred or scrawny or crinkly or otherwise self-conscious to get her belly out. When I was 18 I had a *stellar* body. Did I show my midsection then? NO. Have I ever worn a bikini? NO. Dancing in a sparkly bra and belt at 33 meant I was never so self-conscious about my body again. It won't *cure* you but it will make you feel so much more relaxed about it.

Moreover, every time another woman sees you dancing so nicely and unselfconsciously with your little loose skin crinkles, she will think "wow, she looks so happy and she's not embarrassed by her stretch marks. Maybe my body is not so bad either!"

So yours has been lived in. Good! Show the world what an awesome thing your belly did and what awesome things it can now do!

Standing O, Zumarrad! I really wish I had been "brought up" in that atmosphere as a baby bellydancer, for all sorts of reasons. Fabulous post.

I wanna say a great big "LIKE" for Zumarrad's post.

By being brave and being out of your comfort zone you'll likely gain an appreciation for the way your body is and inspire others to maybe consider changing the way they view themselves.

I say rock the 2 piece, your belly is gorgeous.

My tummy looked just like that a little while ago- and I wore a 2 pc without a stocking because it really did look better, was easier and more comfortable. Ironically, now that it's had a couple more months to recover, NOW I am wearing my dresses. It's still an ease & comfort thing for me, tho. I'm in such a tizzy making sure my dancing is on parr, I want a costume I don't have to think about!

You look great.

I recently lost some weight and my "reward" was to wear a two piece costume and bare my belly. It was empowering, definitely, but so uncomfortable for me! I had the hardest time concentrating on anything but my tummy flab. I'm back to covers--smaller ones, but covers still.

The point is--do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. But I wouldn't ignore how good it feels to stretch your limits.

So yours has been lived in. Good! Show the world what an awesome thing your belly did and what awesome things it can now do!

Another quote for the Bhuz archives.

I like the other suggestions too about having a belly cover in case on any given day you'd want to wear it. But don't rely on it. I encourage you to show your belly, we all have issues, for me it's my age, (44 this Sunday) and sometimes those doubts can creep in like "Do I really belong here?" But I fight it. As others have said, Attitude is the biggest part.

shimmy on my dear

I would definitely wear a 2-piece costume with a belly like that. It's a lovely belly! It's a woman's belly that looks like it should. :) Honestly, I'd never notice any of the wrinkles during a performance because I'd be more keyed in to the joy of the dancer while she's dancing. That's my favorite part of dancing and watching dancers at haflas or wherever.
Show it with pride, dear!!!!

What??? Your belly look totally fine!! Mine is covered with purple strechmarks, loose skin, and my bellybutton looks weird after pregnancy. But I really dont care.. Why should I hide it? Its who I am! And when I put on a sparkly costume, I feel like a million bucks! Try out a few different looks, and see what you think! Try a 2-piece costume, a dress, and whatever else there is out there.

I dont like tight lycra skirt on me, because of my lovely love handles. But that it about the only thing I dont feel comfortable in.

The most important thing is that YOU feel comfortable. If you dont feel comfortable in a costume, that will show in your performance.

I think you look great. And I love your attitude and willingness to bare it to everyone for their opinions.

I want to add something though. Some people in the GP are mean. I have heard so many comments from rude audience members about a dancer's less than perfect figure. Of course these are the humogous Hutts eating huge plates of food saying these things. It's like if someone has very large breasts-they know they might hear degrading comments, too. Or when I debutted my short hair cut-my husband heard a negative comment and told him to keep his opinions to himself.

So just make sure that you can handle it should you hear a comment. And remember that you are beautiful and you are lovely.

I can't believe you don't have stretch marks after a big baby!

I agree with those who say you should do what makes you feel comfortable, but I do want to say that I WISH I had your belly. Mine is much larger, and I've had three pregnancies with such large babies, they had to be delivered by c-section. (And I bare my belly, although I do prefer to wear a fishnet bodystocking, when it's practical.)

Your belly is just fine.

If that were my belly, I'd go with B and be totally happy with it. I've got a bit of baby pooch that isn't helped by my lack of good exercise habits, so I have to be mindful of where my skirt/ belt hits. I don't mind a little extra jiggle- it's bellydancing after all- but I don't want to be self-conscious. For ME that means wearing things a little higher.

It's all about what makes you feel comfortable and attractive and connected to the dance as a beautiful woman- that will shine through more than any wrinkles or flab.

(And for the record, the only picture that looked even moderately less than perfect was the forward bend, and I think the time in motion spent in achieving that "look" would be so fleeting, that it would not be noticable when paired with a lovely costume, graceful arms, and a bright or coy smile.)

I LOVE your cute little tummy! Bare it and be proud!! I wear a bodystocking as I lost over 150 lbs and have a fold of skin that hangs over my belt if I don't. Try one if you need to "build up" to going bare....but if I were you, I'd go without!

Thank you all so much for your supportive and helpful comments! I can't explain how much they all meant to me. {{{HUGS}}} to you all!

You have a beautiful belly! Personally I would not cover it up. I have had 3 kids and have been all stretched out. I also have loose skin in that area..You only see it during certain moves too. I am also short waisted though and high waisted costumes don't look good on me. You need to try on several styles to see what works.

Thank you for posting this question. I just gave birth to my second child and have been asking myself this same question. I'm not sure how things will look once I lose the last 19lbs

If I were you I would definitely show my belly! You have a really cute one!