Thread: Cutting one's long hair ... a terrible idea for commercial viability or a reasonable proposal?

I have had long hair for a long time, and truthfully, it feels the most like me. However, it is very fine and tends to thin out at the ends as it breaks off. Lately, my son has been pulling my hair - pulling out chunks at a time. Putting aside discipline issues to resolve this (he's < 2 years and we are doing time-outs to no avail right now) ...

I have thought about cutting my hair to shoulder-length to make it more manageable, and more difficult for it to be used for leverage. Professionally - and I mean in business - I think it would look better too. But I hesitate because of bellydancing ...

Has anyone done this and did it affect your commercial viability. I dance in a few restaurants and may begin to start doing more private gigs again. What tricks could I use to give myself the look of long hair? I always worry that wigs will go flying off if I were to toss my hair.

Before cutting, try wearing it up in a bun to see if that lessens temptation.

Originally Posted by Darbla

Before cutting, try wearing it up in a bun to see if that lessens temptation.

That is what I did when my baby/toddler was constantly grabbing it (I also have fine hair). Eventually he grew out of it and it kept it out of my way better then shorter length hair cuts I have had in the past did. A really nice bun or french twist looks very professional too. ;)

I agree with Darbla about trying to wear your long hair in a bun first. Another idea is to tie your hair up in a ponytail as this may help too. I agree that for your daytime profession, shoulder-length hair may look more professional, but for belly dance and other dances, long hair is more desirable.

When my hair was accidentally cut too short by my then hairdresser, I tried using the attached ponytail once. Now, I no longer need it for dancing.

If you like long hair better on yourself, keep your long hair. You can wear it up in a bun when you're home with your 2-year-old and during your day job. Maybe trim the ends if they are thinning out, but don't cut the whole thing because of your son... a bun will get your hair out of the way and keep it safe.

My hair is fine as well, and my terminal length seems to be about bra strap length. I use clip in extensions to fill out my hair and give it length. I really only use two pieces in the back and they blend in well.

Check out the second photo on this page - Events 2010 @ @ fatimadance.comfatimadance.com

My hair is probably about two inches above my bra strap in that photo.

Originally Posted by Darbla

Before cutting, try wearing it up in a bun to see if that lessens temptation.

I agree. Wearing your hair up minimizes damage from numerous sources, not just toddlers. He'll be past the hair grabbing stage way before you'd be able to grow your hair back to the length you really want it to be.

For example, I know I get a lot of breakage and split ends from my hair getting stuck under my purse strap, which I generally wear on my shoulder.

I don't like the way I look in buns, so I don't wear them to work or out, but around the house I generally have my hair twisted into a quick bun. It is just getting to waist length in the back.

I do think that long hair is part of the belly dancer's look. If you took it to shoulder length, you'd probably need to get clip in extensions or hairpieces to really create a polished professional look.

Keep in mind that your toddler will still pull at your hair even if it's short! I had an inverted bob and still got it pulled quite often. Unless you really want to cut it for business, I think the bun (or pulling it up in some other way) is going to work better for belly dance and toddler.

don't cut it!! i also agree with the bun suggestions.
and you can also do the clip in weave for added oomph.
i've had long hair all my life, and about 15 yrs ago a hair stylist cut wayyy too much off. (ended up being shoulder length!) i cried for days about it.
everytime i get tempted to cut my hair, i think of that time...

While I agree that unless you feel strongly about wanting a change, don't cut your hair. But if you do, remember you can always buy it!

(I cut mine short when Justin was a toddler. But mine grows fast. So I wasn't worried about it.)

{{{HUGS}}}

One of thee reasons why your hair is falling out may be that it is too heavy for your scalp. When my hair gets too long my hair becomes extremely fragile and breaks easily. I end up pulling out huge chunks of it in the shower or when I brush it. When this starts to happen I know it is time to get my hair cut.

You may want to go to a high quality hair salon and ask them to diagnose your hair issues. If you don't cut off the damaged ends your air will only continue to get worse and worse.

I'm not suggesting you cut all your hair off, but you may need to get a few inches off to save the hair.

When I started performing I had shoulder length hair and I didn't have any issues getting into shows or gigs. I now have long hair that stops around the bottom of my shoulder blade. I do feel more like a belly dancer with my long hair, but again as far as clientele I did not notice a difference.

Long hair may be part of the AmCab stereotype, and it's certainly desirable if you do a lot of dramatic hair tossing in your dancing, but dancers succeed without it, too. The tradition of long hair seems to have been a fairly late addition to the "rules," since Taheya Carioka, Naima Akef, Samia Gamal, and Nagwa Fouad were apparently all left off the memo that hair to the bra band or longer was mandatory. If you are a good entertainer, people will want to hire you, and you can always wear accessories or hairpieces when you want to give the illusion of length. If you want or need to trim your hair into a shorter cut, there's no reason why you can't do so. You're not doing your appearance any favors by hanging onto the length if it's getting excessively thin or fraught with breakage at the bottom anyway.

On the other hand, if you subscribe to the philosophy that what's missing from Jim Boz's dancing is a long, Fabio-style mane...

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

Long hair may be part of the AmCab stereotype, and it's certainly desirable if you do a lot of dramatic hair tossing in your dancing, but dancers succeed without it, too. The tradition of long hair seems to have been a fairly late addition to the "rules," since Taheya Carioka, Naima Akef, Samia Gamal, and Nagwa Fouad were apparently all left off the memo that hair to the bra band or longer was mandatory.

Why is long hair the "belly dancer" stereotype, anyway? Such few belly dancers from "over there" have hair that is longer than bra strap length, even current ones. And so many Western belly dancers who go to Egypt to belly dance end up cutting their hair shorter once they are over there.

I don't think long hair is necessary... I have long hair myself, but I appreciate different hair types on other people, as I like diversity. I can admire long hair on other belly dancers, but I also find it refreshing to see short hair. But perhaps there is truth to the idea that having long hair helps, because of the GP's stereotypes, at least around here.

But the reason I would advise the OP not to cut her hair (beyond a trim to get rid of damage and even out the hemline) is because she has said she prefers herself with long hair. If her reason for cutting her hair was that she thinks she looks better with short hair, I'd say go for it. But if the reason is the toddler pulling it, then the best solution is to keep the hair long enough to put it up and out of the way. Short hair isn't safe from being pulled, either, and it may even be harder to keep it out of the way of a toddler since it's harder to put up.

Originally Posted by yameyameyame

Why is long hair the "belly dancer" stereotype, anyway? Such few belly dancers from "over there" have hair that is longer than bra strap length, even current ones. And so many Western belly dancers who go to Egypt to belly dance end up cutting their hair shorter once they are over there.

I was thinking about this too. Maybe because when bellydance became popular in this country the style was long hair, and so that became the stereotype that we just haven't shaken?

I struggle with this, I really want long hair for dance but my hair is so thin, fine, and straight that anything over just past my shoulders looks terrible :(

ok the scissors are safe from me. But I think I should cut off the split ends to whatever length my hair wants to be at without falling out - and then use falls and such. I never wanted to spend a lot of money on fake hair but as I've read threads on this forum, I am convinced it's a better idea than I thought.

Hair is part of the costume package, if it looks dead, thin, dry and unhealthy by all means cut it and bring back the health. If it does not then try the up-does. I ended up cutting my hair a year ago b/c my son had a knack for projectile spiting-up in it. I missed it so much I went out and and bought a wig LOL!

Originally Posted by Michelle_A

I struggle with this, I really want long hair for dance but my hair is so thin, fine, and straight that anything over just past my shoulders looks terrible :(

This is a little off topic, but I have seen many heads of long, thin, fine, straight hair that look really nice. *I* have long, thin, fine, straight hair and I think it looks very nice.

However, when I grew it from a short, stacked bob a few years ago, I went through an awkward year when my hair was from just above shoulder to about armpit during which my hair really looked rather terrible.

I think I believed all my life that I couldn't have long hair because of my hair type. I think I believed this because hair stylists and magazines and other people had told me this all my life.

I started to realize though, that my hair is thin, straight, and fine whether it is long or short. The mantra about needing it short therefore didn't make much sense. There are many short hair cuts that tend to look better on thick hair as well. Plus I'd always wanted long hair. Plus I felt that no matter how chic my short hair looked in the real world, it looked like office hair in the belly dance world. So I decided to grow it out. When I stumbled upon the long hair community forum, I really figured some things out. First, hair stylists and magazines don't really know much about long hair. Stylists are generally entrenched in methodology that runs counter to the proper care of long hair. Basically with long hair, one needs to minimize all damage sources, which means no (or at least very little) heat styling, no back-combing or teasing, no tearing viciously through tangled hair with brushes or combs. Keeping hair up to avoid daily damage, keeping hair out of the sun to avoid sun damage.

Stylists are also looking out for their own livelihood. Long hair does not need very much of their services. If everyone had super long hair, didn't do anything to damage it, and only got a micro trim once every 3 months, how would they all stay in business. So of course they don't like it. Plus stylists are often entrenched in stupid aesthetic ideals such as no long hair on "older" women.

Long, thin, fine, straight hair can look very nice. If you join the long hair community and make a minimum number of posts (I think it is 20 but I'm not sure), you will be able to see other member's photo albums and you will see long beautiful hair of all types.

Hi from another Long Hair Community member! Since joining that site, I have tried Monistat on my scalp, drinking diatomaceous earth in my water, added hair specific vitamins to my supplements, horse hair grower, got tea in the fridge right now that I need to apply to my hair, and I can't remember what all else. That is, when I have time to slow down and remember to do this stuff...

Nepenthe, you can find all kinds of updo's on that site you could try to keep your hair out of way of grabby little fingers. There are many variations on buns.

Don't cut your hair if you prefer it long, but maybe have a few inches trimmed of the ends to get rid of the split bits, then experiment with wearing your hair up. There are millions of things you can do that can look cute and/or business like.

I had my hair cut VERY short two years ago (just before I started dancing) and man, do I regret it now! Two years on and my hair is only just below shoulder length, after years of having long, thick hair.

I just recently joined LHC (Long Hair Community) myself, and it's full of great resources on proper treatment of long hair.

I'd already had long hair and had been treating my hair quite well long prior to joining (blow-drying no more than a few times a year, no flat-ironing or heat-curling, extending washes, etc) but I learned some new things since I started lurking there only a few weeks ago.

LHC is an even more useful resource for people trying to grow out damaged hair, trying to take care of damaged hair, or trying to grow out hair in general, so I'd definitely recommend it!

Originally Posted by Nepenthe

ok the scissors are safe from me. But I think I should cut off the split ends to whatever length my hair wants to be at without falling out - and then use falls and such. I never wanted to spend a lot of money on fake hair but as I've read threads on this forum, I am convinced it's a better idea than I thought.

I'm not a member of the long hair forum but I do have very long fine hair. If your hair is unhealthy by all means get it trimmed but... but be very careful who you go to to do the trimming. You need to find a hairdresser that does long hair. In fact I will only go to a hairdresser that also has fine hair because it does cut differently then thicker/courser hair and the worst cuts I have had have all been from hair stylists who insisted that there was no difference and they could cut anything. If they don't know about fine hair they will not only cut it wrong they are more likely to cut more then necessary thinking it isn't healthy when it is.

I also have a fake hair piece and I loved it for when my hair was shorter. Now they're the same length so I don't use it anymore (my hair is fine but thick ie. I have a lot of it). Go for it if you think it will help you.

I will still advise to keep it long enough you can put it up in a bun or ponytail or some such. From my own children when they were that age it was the only way I found to keep their hands out of my hair.

Originally Posted by ssipes

However, when I grew it from a short, stacked bob a few years ago, I went through an awkward year when my hair was from just above shoulder to about armpit during which my hair really looked rather terrible.

I think I believed all my life that I couldn't have long hair because of my hair type. I think I believed this because hair stylists and magazines and other people had told me this all my life.

I started to realize though, that my hair is thin, straight, and fine whether it is long or short. The mantra about needing it short therefore didn't make much sense.

Yes, yes, yes! I have to say, Sedonia, that I've heard you say things like this before and you were the one that finally convinced me to grow my fine, thin hair out. It hasn't been long since middle school. So THANK YOU for your encouragement!

My daughter has curly hair, and I have learned so much about my own hair in learning to take care of hers. I learned that it doesn't matter what your wave/curl pattern is, the care it needs is dependent only on texture, porosity, and elasticity. See Live Curly Live Free for more info.

Now I never, never use a brush on my hair. I don't use sulfate shampoos, and I wash my hair 1-2 times a week instead of every day. I only blow-dry on low with a diffuser. It's never looked better, in spite of the fact I'm going through that horrible in-between phase Sedonia mentioned.

By the way, Sedonia, can I ask if your hair is all one length now? Mine still has layers in it, but I think the layers make the ends look thinner and stringy. Like you said, it's flat no matter what you do, so I'm thinking maybe I should focus on making the ends look nice! And tell me more about the micro-trim thing. You do it every 3 months?

Last question: does anyone know of any books on websites with pictures/instructions for doing a variety of buns, braids, and other up-dos?

Originally Posted by Alexa

Yes, yes, yes! I have to say, Sedonia, that I've heard you say things like this before and you were the one that finally convinced me to grow my fine, thin hair out. It hasn't been long since middle school. So THANK YOU for your encouragement!

You are welcome! Thanks for sharing your story.

By the way, Sedonia, can I ask if your hair is all one length now? Mine still has layers in it, but I think the layers make the ends look thinner and stringy. Like you said, it's flat no matter what you do, so I'm thinking maybe I should focus on making the ends look nice! And tell me more about the micro-trim thing. You do it every 3 months?

I have a stylist I like that will do what I ask regarding trims, and I go to her now about every 3 months. If I really want 1/4 inch trimmed, she will do that. However, the last couple of trims, I've had her take a generous inch off to get rid of split ends.

I have kept long layers and v'ed hemline. The center back lock is below waist, but the sides are just past bra band. So it still doesn't feel really long to me, even though people have been telling me more and more that my hair is long. The shortest top layers are only a couple of inches shorter than the longest ones. I'm really torn between keeping this and cutting it blunt and straight. When I wear it straight, it does make the ends look a little stringy sometimes. On the other hand, I have learned how to use rag rollers to make really sexy tousled waves, and the layers and V hemline are important in that look. So I'm inclined to keep it like it is.

If you look on my website gallery, in most if not all of the photos I'm wearing clip in extensions that just about double the volume of my hair. In the ones where my hair is curly, I've set both my hair and the extensions with rag rollers -- no heat styling.

I do blow dry my hair several times per week on the "warm" setting. I don't count this as heat styling.

I watched the video on this thread Music ID - driving me insane! just after reading this thread, and noticed how short Simona's hair is in the DVD.

While in Singapore, I went into a hair salon for a treatment and they told me they would need to cut off a lot as it was badly damaged. My waist-length hair is now just below my shoulders. It looks much better, and feels better, and I'm just going to have to grow it back out. I'm really glad to find out about the long hair forum, but in the interim, I'll enjoy watching the DVDs of dancers with short hair, like Simona!