Thread: Costume on Layaway... Being used???

I recently put a down payment down on a costume. I am a little overdue on my 2nd payment but I sent a msg. to the seller and she confirmed that it is no problem.

However, I went on FB and noticed that her dancer friend has worn the costume in a series of recent performance photos (and yes I am sure that it is recent)... Now correct me if I am wrong, but if you put a down payment on a cossie, doesn't that constitute that it be held for you until you fully pay for it, then sent to you when it is, but not that it is continued to be DANCED in? I mean, that basically decreases the value, changing the deal altogether does it not?

I am actually feeling quite upset about this. Feedback, advice, and comfort fully welcomed. Thank you!

Originally Posted by planetceanna

I recently put a down payment down on a costume. I am a little overdue on my 2nd payment but I sent a msg. to the seller and she confirmed that it is no problem.

However, I went on FB and noticed that her dancer friend has worn the costume in a series of recent performance photos (and yes I am sure that it is recent)... Now correct me if I am wrong, but if you put a down payment on a cossie, doesn't that constitute that it be held for you until you fully pay for it, then sent to you when it is, but not that it is continued to be DANCED in? I mean, that basically decreases the value, changing the deal altogether does it not?

I am actually feeling quite upset about this. Feedback, advice, and comfort fully welcomed. Thank you!

That's 100 percent absolutely wrong. If I put a dress on layby, or shoes on layby, they are not to be worn by the shopkeeper or her friends! A costume is exactly the same.

Are you absolutely certain it is THE costume and not one that looks just like it? If the costume is not exclusive, perhaps there are two?

Yeah. It's one of a kind.... I'm sorta heartbroken.

I am not sure what to do... I sent her an e-mail, not sure what she will say. In the meantime i am upset, i'll cool off right? I'll feel better about it tomorrow right?? *deep breaths* Perhaps I am overreacting.

I gotta agree with Zumarrad. The handful of times I have sold a costume to someone when it's on a payment plan, I have set the costume aside and would never consider wearing it or loaning it to anyone. In my mind, it has been purchased and it not available to use by me or anyone else. If I really wanted to wear it, I would contact the buyer and ask them and offer a slight discount on the costume. And perhaps offer to send them new pics of it after use and possibly wash it if necessary.

You have a right to be upset. I would try to gather yourself together so that when you are able to reach the seller, you can have a rational conversation that isn't supercharged with emotion about why you're upset and see what she says. If possible, get her phone number and talk to her rather than email. It can be very hard to gather the true sense of a conversation done in writing only.

Good luck and keep us posted on how this resolves for you.

I agree with what the others have said. A costume on layaway should not be worn or used for dancing, photoshoots, or any other purpose. You have an agreement with the seller to purchase the item as it was described. That agreement needs to be honored or you should be offered an adjusted price or a refund. I hope there's just some misunderstanding about the situation and you're right to approach the seller with that calmer attitude instead of guns blazing "hey wtf!!!"

Is this a new costume or a used one? Not that this excuses anything, but if it is secondhand, this other dancer may have borrowed it before and assumed that if you knew you were buying something that already had a few miles on it, a few more wouldn't be a problem as long as no obvious damage was sustained. I don't think this is right. Every time you wear a costume, it decreases its value a little, and you made a deal at a specific point in time for a costume you believed had a specific amount of wear and tear on it. It also sounds like you made a deal on what you believed was a one-of-a-kind outfit, and splattering pictures of other people wearing it all over the Internet diminishes the value of its uniqueness, too. However, I could see how they might figure used is used, and if you're falling behind on your payments, maybe you'll never pay it off, and how are you going to know if it had [this much sweat damage to the lining] and now it has [that much] if you've never inspected it closely?

Personally, I'm a little squicked out by the idea of sellers putting new costumes on human models anyway (especially if they aren't designed for separate undergarments to be worn underneath and/or they're not washable), so I would definitely consider this a deal breaker on a new costume, but that's just me. You could always say that you want to renegotiate the deal, now that the costume is technically no longer "new."

Originally Posted by planetceanna

In the meantime i am upset, i'll cool off right?

Um, yeah, we're all hoping you don't take this to your grave. "Never Forget the Costume Layaway Incident of November 2011!" isn't as catchy as "Remember the Maine!"

Perhaps I am overreacting.

I don't think you are overreacting. There is a chance you may be out the money for that first payment, though, and that might take a while to get over. At worst, you eat the loss, say, "Lesson learned," and resolve to buy future costumes outright unless you personally know and trust the seller.

Totally wrong.
She should reduce the price by $50.
Extra sweat, bead loss, fabric wear...

Hi!

Same opinion here. I also would be upset.
I'm quite curious what she will answer to your mail...

Love, Sahira.

I have to agree with the others. If you are paying it on layaway then it's yours and no one should be dancing in it at all. I can understand how you are feeling.

Thanks girls.

And yes, the fact that these photos are now all over the place of this other woman wearing it sorta hurts, it sorta 'taints' the costume in my mind. Why do I feel like I've been cheated on?? lol

In any case, she has responded to my 2 messages, several hours ago, stating that her friend wore the costume for 6 minutes, and also because her friends new costume was never delivered that night. However, this dancer rotates costumes often and I am sure there were other costumes to have picked from.

She also mentioned that since I had been late on payment she was unsure of the situation. However, I constantly send her messages about when payment is coming, and fell behind because of an ankle injury which required dishing out a hefty amount for specialists, tests, etc.

I suggested she provide a phone number to make communication easier.

I am clearly hurt on the matter.

I'll keep you all posted.

Originally Posted by nayastrance

I agree with what the others have said. A costume on layaway should not be worn or used for dancing, photoshoots, or any other purpose. You have an agreement with the seller to purchase the item as it was described. That agreement needs to be honored or you should be offered an adjusted price or a refund. I hope there's just some misunderstanding about the situation and you're right to approach the seller with that calmer attitude instead of guns blazing "hey wtf!!!"

im attempting to be civil but id love to just say "hey wtf!!!"

Originally Posted by SandraDances

Totally wrong.
She should reduce the price by $50.
Extra sweat, bead loss, fabric wear...

I totally agree with this. And the friend may have danced in it for 6 minutes, but she surely wore it longer than that.

Sorry to add more fuel to the [f]ire.

-Devora

unfortunately, I would love to say that this is rare. But I have had this happen with a costume which I paid for in full. I paid for it on a Weds the seller said she would ship it on Monday. Monday morning I received an e-mail confirming shipping. Monday afternoon she posted photos from her Saturday night gig IN MY COSTUME. Doing floorwork in a restaurant.

When I asked, her response was, I told you I would ship it Monday, implying that this meant that the costume was hers to do with as she pleased before that time.

There were several other things wrong with in that transaction - inaccurate measurements, accessories not included - so I simply have decided that I will never buy a costume or anything else from her again, although we have similar bodies. the costume was later traded to someone else and I got something better.

I realize that this isn't helpful, but really just saying that sometimes you have to decide whether the fight is worth the hassle. Sometimes it is simply better to accept that some people don't have boundaries and make the decision to not support them again.

{{{HUGS}}}

[QUOTE=tahiradancer;931118]unfortunately, I would love to say that this is rare. But I have had this happen with a costume which I paid for in full. I paid for it on a Weds the seller said she would ship it on Monday. Monday morning I received an e-mail confirming shipping. Monday afternoon she posted photos from her Saturday night gig IN MY COSTUME. Doing floorwork in a restaurant.

Well tahiradancer honestly it helps to know that I am not alone in this, and that there are others breakin' the rules on this matter.

Anyway, I have sent her a few messages now, still waiting to hear back. I am hoping she will simply reduce the price or waive the shipping. I also asked that she assure me the costume not be danced in again.

Anyway, I have sent her quite a few messages now, still waiting to hear back. I am hoping she will simply reduce the price or waive the shipping, so we can get on with it. I also asked that she assure me the costume not be danced in again.

I think that's the least she could do.
I agree with every one here - it's just not acceptable.
I had something similar happen to me but from the other side. I had costumes and veils in a bellydance school that were there on commission - I wouldn't get paid until someone bought them. But then I found out that the owner had no compunction about "lending out" my veils and costumes when they were needed and then put them back up for sale afterwards. When i asked her about it, she thought that i wouldn't mind, and that she thought the students would be more inclined to purchase them if they got to "test drive" them first.
Needless to say, I took all my stuff out of there, although now I'm stuck with a whole heap of silk veils that have runs in them from rough handling
My point is - if you have a implicit contract (which layaway implies), then she has a responsiblility to keep the costume in the same condition in which she sold it to you.

Good news, she has agreed to drop the price a little :)

I don't do well with conflict. She told me she has never done this with a costume before and I believe her. I was very upset, but she has agreed to lessen the price and work with me.

I feel sorta bad for reacting so loudly, I just felt so confused and hurt. But in the end I think it all worked out how it was supposed to. She was flexible enough to extend my payment time because of my ankle, and although I don't agree with what happened, I think she is still a good person.

Thanks for your support guys. This was a big one for me. I feel happier now.

That's awesome news. She must have thought about it and realized that she wouldn't like it if this was her costume she was paying off and someone else wore it during that time. I agree w/everyones analysis on this issue. It's just not right.

Thank you for bringing this up...it is likely that others would have the same situation as the seller. Maybe this will help prevent is from happening to someone else.

I am really glad that things look like they worked out. Good luck with your ankle.

Personally, I would not purchase a costume after any type conflict. Trust is an issue, I would have concerns re quality and condition. Yet another reason I do not purchase via time-pay. (I do not use time-pay or lay-away in stores, either. For me, no matter how nice the product neither the worry, hassle and aggravation is worth it.) When I pay the costume is mine. An earlier post re a dancer wearing a costume over the weekend after stating she would ship on Monday is super tacky. Totally unprofessional behavior. That plus not including accessories and incorrect measurements = rude and tacky. I would appreciate knowing the name of that seller.

Hopefully your situation will go well and you will be satisfied. Aren't you thankful you saw the pictures? There is a certain level of trust involved in such transactions, sadly some have lower levels and standards in their lives.

I don't know- I'm a bit on the fence.

I am involved in a lot of of motorcycle sales- well- involved/research. My boyfriend has gone through like 4 in the last year for various reasons- not mechanical/problems with the vehicles so nothing suspect.

But each bike has been his only vehicle- like many other people especially during summer months- which means even if someone has put a desposit doesn't mean the vehicle just sits. its going to get used until you pay up and the title changes hands.

noooooooow.. caveat- that being said I realize- costumes are NOT vehicles. I'd be more irritated with the minor deception than the usage. Meaning- if she was aware- or had plans for the costume to be used- then she should have been very upfront and said so. And let YOU the buyer deciede if you wanted to purchase a costume that had continous wear and tear.

It was unethical for her to continue to use it-or have it used by someone else and NOT inform you. But I don't think you should not buy it still. one use isn't going to change that much- you still wash it/fabreeze/lysol it as usual and wash it via bathtub and be on your way.

I think its silly to think a costume to be tainted over such a small thing- especially if you have a price reduction and deal with the conflict.

But buisness is buisness to me and I try to leave personal **** at the door when I'm doing buisness.

Originally Posted by showtime

Personally, I would not purchase a costume after any type conflict. Trust is an issue, I would have concerns re quality and condition. Yet another reason I do not purchase via time-pay. (I do not use time-pay or lay-away in stores, either. For me, no matter how nice the product neither the worry, hassle and aggravation is worth it.) When I pay the costume is mine. An earlier post re a dancer wearing a costume over the weekend after stating she would ship on Monday is super tacky. Totally unprofessional behavior. That plus not including accessories and incorrect measurements = rude and tacky. I would appreciate knowing the name of that seller.

Hopefully your situation will go well and you will be satisfied. Aren't you thankful you saw the pictures? There is a certain level of trust involved in such transactions, sadly some have lower levels and standards in their lives.

I hear ya, I see both sides. I had the option of just getting the previous payments refunded, but I really like the costume and I wanted it, plus she apologized sincereley, and agreed to lower the price. She also mentioned that she has no problems allowing others to borrow her costumes, but that she shouldn't have assumed that I would be okay wth that. I appreciated that acknowledgement.

And yes, I am glad I saw those pictures.

Lucky that the costume was not seriously damaged or ruined. One glass of red wine "oops"...

The moral of this story, as I see it, is that when purchasing a used costume it's worth specifying to the seller "My expectation is that the costume will not be used/worn any more between now and the time you ship it to me."

Seems obvious, but I guess it isn't so to everyone!