Thread: When a bedlah won't do...

I'm a festival dancer up here in the Northwest and we're pretty casual about costuming. My troupe's standard attire is circle skirt/tiered skirt, coined hipscarf and choli top. We are colorful and the costumes are affordable for everyone. We are usually told "no bedlahs" in group performances, but can wear usually whatever we want for solos/duets.

Given that restriction, I am having issues. I hate coined hip scarves. I am rounder than I might like, but not awful. However those scarves give me terrible muffin top. I prefer a belt with a rigid structure. In our last performance, I wore a sequined belt I "rescued" from a vintage formal by mounting it on a firmer structured tie belt (tied in the back). I also wore a bra top with matching sequins and a black choli, tucked around the bra tribal style. My teacher said I was wearing a bedlah and "gave me the eye", but didn't say I should change.

I understand her desire for uniformity. I really want to make her happy, but I want to be happy too.

Any suggestions?

Do you sew? I'm wondering if you could make a structured belt base (using denim or heavily interfaced fabric) and sew a coin scarf to it? It could even have a fake 'knot' at the side, but hook on like a belt.


ETA: or something like this sewn onto a belt base, over a fabric?

It kinda sounds like you had a bedlah of sorts, because hey - sequins top and bottom!

So, make a more tribally bra top if you must (nothing fancy, just maybe some coins) and attach a coin belt to a form like Lauren suggested. Now you should match your troupe mates better and be in line with the teacher's aesthetics.

It doesn't even need to be a full form; you can just make adjustment to the top line of the coin scarf to give the top structure (maybe some filler also so the top of the belt is just the fabric and therefore over any muffin top - I'm not a sewer so I hope that makes sense, I think one of my friends did that.

Make or purchase a firm base, and stitch the offending hip scarf to it as Lauren suggested. I have done so when wearing a coin belt, which would never have stayed in place without that base, and it worked very well.

I feel for you: I hate coin scarves as well.

I also think making a base and attaching your scarf to if is a good idea...here's a couple of pictures of one I did with a larger triangular scarf

Originally Posted by leilahdancer

In our last performance, I wore a sequined belt I "rescued" from a vintage formal by mounting it on a firmer structured tie belt (tied in the back). I also wore a bra top with matching sequins and a black choli, tucked around the bra tribal style. My teacher said I was wearing a bedlah and "gave me the eye", but didn't say I should change.

I understand her desire for uniformity. I really want to make her happy, but I want to be happy too.

Any suggestions?

I agree with those who suggested mounting the coin scarf on a rigid base - it's a great solution to this dilemma.

But I would like to comment on something else in your post...

In the future, please don't blindside your teacher by showing up for a performance in a costume that you KNOW is breaking the guidelines she set. If there's something about her rules that isn't working for you, discuss it with her ahead of time, explain the problem, and ask for her help in coming up with a mutually agreeable solution.

It isn't just a matter of "making her happy". It's also a matter of respecting the audience, respecting everyone else in the troupe who IS wearing the correct costume, and respecting the teacher herself. The teacher deserves to have her students following her instructions, and needs to know that she can depend on you to do so. Your classmates all complied with the rules to create a polished, consistent look that would look cohesive and coordinated on stage - and then you came along in a misfit costume, acting as though the rules don't apply to you. And the audience saw a performance that looked like somebody didn't care enough to contribute to the polished look that everyone else was aiming for.

You said, "...but I want to be happy too." If you feel strongly enough about wanting to be happy that you'll disregard the impact your actions have on your teacher, your classmates, and the audience, then maybe troupe work isn't the right fit for you.

Originally Posted by *Shira*

But I would like to comment on something else in your post...

In the future, please don't blindside your teacher by showing up for a performance in a costume that you KNOW is breaking the guidelines she set.

It isn't just a matter of "making her happy". It's also a matter of respecting the audience, respecting everyone else in the troupe who IS wearing the correct costume, and respecting the teacher herself. The teacher deserves to have her students following her instructions, and needs to know that she can depend on you to do so. Your classmates all complied with the rules to create a polished, consistent look that would look cohesive and coordinated on stage - and then you came along in a misfit costume, acting as though the rules don't apply to you. And the audience saw a performance that looked like somebody didn't care enough to contribute to the polished look that everyone else was aiming for.

You said, "...but I want to be happy too." If you feel strongly enough about wanting to be happy that you'll disregard the impact your actions have on your teacher, your classmates, and the audience, then maybe troupe work isn't the right fit for you.

I was going to respond to individual comments, but this is easier. :)

I'm sorry, but I seem to have given the wrong impression. I've danced with this troupe for three years and love it, and my teacher. I intended no disrespect to my troupe or my teacher by trying to create a workable solution. I wasn't trying to be different for the sake of being different. I honestly didn't think my outfit was a bedlah at all.

To give a bit of back-story, I was performing in a trio and our teacher asked us to wear black skirts and choli tops. One dancer was wearing a very sparkly red and gold saidi dress (because of another number)with a black skirt and red coin scarf over it. The other dancer and I were trying to bring up our level of color and sparkle to be a closer match to the red and gold dress. In the attached picture, I'm the one in blue.

Thanks so much to everyone for their recommendations. I really like the idea of putting the scarves on bases. I see a lot of sewing in my future. :)

When I said I wanted to be happy, I only meant about my appearance while performing with the trio. My apologies, hand slap acknowledged.

I definitely see where what you were wearing counts as bedlah, but it certainly looks close in silhouette and substance.

My first thought was the same as the other posters re. the hipscarf: add a belt form underneath, even just a groisgrain ribbon would help (darted if you need it of course). Don't forget you can embellish and alter a regular choli too, to give more glam and bling w/o putting an embellished bra under it.

Originally Posted by leilahdancer

I'm sorry, but I seem to have given the wrong impression. I've danced with this troupe for three years and love it, and my teacher. I intended no disrespect to my troupe or my teacher by trying to create a workable solution. I wasn't trying to be different for the sake of being different. I honestly didn't think my outfit was a bedlah at all.

<snip>

When I said I wanted to be happy, I only meant about my appearance while performing with the trio. My apologies, hand slap acknowledged.

(Imagine this being said with an intending-to-be-helpful facial expression and tone of voice, NOT aggression) I didn't really think you intended any disrespect - I figured you just hadn't fully considered the way your non-compliant costume might be regarded by others, so I wanted to offer you that as food for thought.

From a troupe director's experience, once you've approved an exception, suddenly everybody else starts saying, "Well, you let her get away with being an exception to your rules, so why not let me do this thing I want to do?" and soon chaos ensues. I know that because I made the mistake of letting a student perform who had chosen to modify her troupe costume without getting my permission first, and soon I had a whole lot of "crap" to deal with. That student then went on to try getting other exceptions to other rules, and her classmates soon started wanting exceptions for themselves, and soon I had a big headache on my hands. You don't sound like the kind of person who would intentionally create a big headache for your teacher, but sometimes an action that you think is innocent can have unexpected consequences.

Shira, I totally get your point, and I've had had multiple troupe experiences myself where Costume X was agreed upon, and then somebody showed up in Costume X+2 or Costume Y. It is irritating as all get out to the members who spent (maybe a lot of) money to comply with a target costume (that maybe wasn't even their preference), and then have someone come along with a totally different outfit. It's disappointing to the director who thought it was understood that everybody should look pleasantly coherent in the way that they all agreed they would, and then someone ignored the directiive, setting the idea in motion that from now on, following troupe instructions to the letter is optional.

On the other hand, looking at the picture attached in Post #7, that cat's already out of the bag. It's not like the OP didn't match the other two. The other two didn't match between themselves, either. The blue outfit (bare belly, black skirt) is a lot closer to the rose one in the front than the red-and-gold dress is, and I see three different hip embellishments, because Rose Choli seems to be wearing one of those crochet Sharifwear scarves over a veil, not even the designated coin scarf. You either commit to having costume coherency, or you don't. If you're going to make exceptions for two of the three performers, what's the point in complaining about the third as long as Three doesn't show up in something that's way out of range?

I always have a dress rehearsal before a show (except with my experienced troupes where the costuming is extremely clear and well-understood), and ask everyone to be in FULL costume with ALL accessories. That way we get a sense of how the costumes will look together overall, we can catch any accessory issues that might arise (earring catches on shoulder fabric, skirt catches on anklet, armbands fall off during choreo, etc).

I do dress rehearsal at least 2 rehearsals before the show so there's another week to show me a correction if one needs to be made. It's been rare that I've had to ask someone to make changes, but it has happened. At least no one is going to surprise me at a performance when it's too late to do anything about it!

Looking at the picture, the one in the striped dress stands out as 'different' far more than your non-bedlah/bedlah...


eta: sorry, far FAR more! Different sleeves, midriff covered, bold pattern, crescent necklace - even half cut out of a picture, the costuming screams at me. The black/blue and black/pink combo's look much more in sync with each other, even if one looks more like a bedlah. I feel it's the overall effect that needs to work; some variance in costume can be acceptable provided the overall lines, silhouette and flow match. Of course, you need to work it with your teacher, but I've often found that bringing in the costume ahead of the performance for their perusal and final say works wonders.
Just my opinion.....