Thread: Frustrated and confused

Hey all,
I used to dance with a troupe but there was a falling out (or I seemed to view it as a falling out), and I stopped dancing with them. I took a pity party break for about 6 months and started dancing again, however now I am dancing a completely different style. I feel awful for leaving, and am afraid to even do a performance because the bellydance community is so small here-what if I am shunned?

Do I know you? Probably not...the dance scene in my area is actually pretty big.

You should feel free to dance your solo. Bring your own support, if you feel like you need it. The drop-out/break-up might be BIG NEWS, or it might be a non-issue. I think it will only be a problem if you try to rejoin the troupe, or maybe if you join a new one.

Some people just don't enjoy working with groups, and if that's you, do your own thing. I officially give you permission.

I see troupes start up and break-up all the time. Some of the members work together to form their own troupe and some go solo. It happens. What you can do is keep a positive attitude, be professional, and be polite. No one will shun you if you prove yourself to be a positive and professional dancer. Build your own niche. Make a name for yourself. It will be great.

[QUOTE=ravenadesigns;162510]I see troupes start up and break-up all the time. Some of the members work together to form their own troupe and some go solo. It happens. QUOTE]

Yeah, it's kind of like rock bands.

I agree that you should not be afraid to come forth; just put your best dancin' foot forward and don't worry about being judged according to everything else. Sometimes these dramas end up being nowhere as big a deal as we think they are.

I agree that you should perform your solo. As said in other posts (I can't give credit since I can't see it anymore on my tiny cell phone screen), if you're nice & polite, there should be no issue. And I'm sure the majority of your dance community will be supportive because newly performing dancers keep the community vibrant.

I was in a similar situation when I realized I didn't enjoy the troupe dynamic & drama. Now I only dance with a troupe when compelled, but I consider myself a soloist. And my former troupe mates are extremely supportive. Go for it!

We all are always growing/changing - so you grew away from the troupe. Without growth and change there is no life. Let your dance take you where you need to go. Attend events, dance your solos, and always be warm and friendly to your fellow dancers - never say a bad word about a fellow dancer (keep those thoughts to yourself) and people will know you as a wonderful, kind, dance friend. Good luck

Just remember, BD really is a solo sport!

Deborah

Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.

I'd say go out there and give 'em hell in the form of showing them just how strong, confident and amazing you are. Anybody who matters will think you're great, anybody who's not worth your time might get jealous....but so what?

No need to blow anybody off or be rude, but no need to kiss anybody's butt, either. As I've stressed in a previous post, I think bellydancers worry way too much about what their peers think of them, or whether or not they fit into their "community" at large. Do your thing, respect others, be professional, and do your best to portray the dance in a positive light - and that's equal to 10 "I love my dance sistahs!" mantras alone.

And I hate to come off as an anti-community misanthrope, but there's no set in stone rule that you have to attend every local event or perform strictly for your community if you're still not ready or it's simply not your cup of tea. I prefer to go my own way and stick to paid private gigs, and do very well for myself. If you're ready to re-enter your community, then by all means, move on in peace, put the politics behind you, put your best foot forward, and be proud to show everybody what you're made of. Nobody likes a drama llama ..l;, .

Good luck!

Lisa

I agree with what Lisa and others have suggested above. I would also suggest just letting the past drama go. If you feel you have to show your former troupemates that you're strong, etc., then you're placing too much importance on these people, their potential reactions to you, etc.

Perform when you're ready, be professional, play fair, and if someone gets her bedlah in a bind, so what? Believe in yourself and the new direction your dance life has taken and share the joy that brought you to this artform in the first place!

Move forward in peace

Khalida

The dancers in my community change troupes and/or instructors (and therefore change student troupes) for a variety of reasons--a change in work schedule, a move to a completely different area of the city, deciding their style would click more with another group or instructor, deciding that another group would give them more opportunities to meet their goals.

When people have left the troupe I dance with, I'm always very excited and happy when our paths cross at different events, because I miss them.

I doubt you'll be shunned. Just smile and be friendly, and you'll probably get the same reaction in return.

Good luck.