Thread: Do you let students bring kids to their class?

My immediate reaction is no (because of space) but I'm wondering if I had a bigger space or waiting room what I'd say...what is your policy about kids?

Technically, I don't allow them, but I have had students' children in class. If there is a waiting area, the kids stay out there.

I haven't had a problem, really, but I wonder what I'd do if a student's kid just couldn't stay out of the way or just couldn't not interrupt class?

I talk big, but I'm really a weenie.

Deborah

No, it is a dance class - not daycare. We have stopped taking classes from one Instructor and left the Studio due to children running around causing disruption during class. Dance class is our time to focus on something we are passionate about, not childcare challenges. I cannot fathom an adult ballet studio allowing such distractions. One Mother actually asked that we stop working on a sword routine since it was dangerous when her daughter ran in the room. When our Instructor did not clarify it was a dance class not a daycare facility 3 of us left the studio. We felt since we had paid for sword classes that was the correct purpose of the session. By the time the Studio owner realized what had occurred the only remaining student was the Mother (and her child), she dismissed the Instructor. Initially over 15 were taking the class.

I'm going to say no too because she doesn't need to bring them, she just thinks it would be an "exotic experience" for them. They're not even her kids, they're her sister's children.

Originally Posted by eshe

I'm going to say no too because she doesn't need to bring them, she just thinks it would be an "exotic experience" for them. They're not even her kids, they're her sister's children.

Yeah, it's not the bling zoo or a social safari.

You have some special students, Eshe.

It's just too distracting to me and the other students to have kids in the room. I did see a home studio, though, that was set up for it. There was a separate room with an old TV, some Disney movies, toys and video games. That could work.

Definately a big no!! Besides the 'day care' issue - it is a class not a show and many students don't like being gawked at whether it's a kid or a grown-up. If she wants to bring the kids they should pay the class rate and participate. If they're not focussed enough for that then too bad so sad.

So far, I have allowed it, but so far the kids in question were really great about entertaining themselves with reading, coloring books, and other quiet activities. They didn't interrupt their moms or anybody else, and there was enough space in the classroom to accommodate them.

If I had a situation in which the youngster behaved in a way that distracted either me, its parent, or other class members, I would probably quit allowing it. And if I reach a point where that becomes necessary, I probably will never allow it again because I wouldn't want to have a situation where a parent says, "You didn't let my kid come with me, but you let hers come with her..."

Originally Posted by eshe

I'm going to say no too because she doesn't need to bring them, she just thinks it would be an "exotic experience" for them. They're not even her kids, they're her sister's children.

That is beyond tacky. ..c::

I have two kids who grew up waiting while I took Jazzercise at our local Masonic hall. (there was a kitchen off to the side where all kids played.) My kids knew since age 3 that they were not to interrupt. period. If they disrupted once, we left. (And believe me, they didn't want to make that happen)

Our instructor made it clear that kids were okay IF they stayed where they were supposed to. There was one mom whose kids just ran amok and our insturctor nipped it right it the bud (but nicely) by saying "ooh, Jane, I would'nt want your boy to get hurt, he's going to have to stay inside, we get twriling pretty fast here (smiling)"

This way she didn't penalize the rest of us who were being responsible. I know different areas have space issues etc. and I can totally respect a no kids allowed policy. Bellydance may be more personal and having kids around can be distracting. (even in exercise class it's not fun to have a 5 year old stare at your jiggly butt while you're trying to get fit..l;,

Originally Posted by ozma

Yeah, it's not the bling zoo or a social safari.

You have some special students, Eshe.

Let me put it this way.....l;,I'm gathering up a lot of good karma!!

All the people who write me and say they want to come and watch I say no to, so I feel ok saying no to her too.

I have a lot of women who've never taken a dance class and I know they would feel uncomfortable with someone watching them.

I wouldn't allow observers, no matter the size or age. It's really, really distracting and inhibiting for a lot of students. Potential students can look in for a few minutes, just long enough to get a feel for what class is like, but that's pretty much it as far as I'm concerned.

The studio where I dance has a small "family room" set up for kids, dads, etc. to hang out in during class. Several students are new/newish/nursing mothers -- and the director has a toddler herself -- so she's trying to be as accommodating as possible of them while not inconveniencing or distracting others. The key, I think, is extra space and a little distance: the family room is on a different floor from the classrooms, so the "extras" aren't normally underfoot during class time. It seems to be working well.

As a student, I wouldn't like it.

My kids are older now, but when I started dancing, that was my "me" time, my adult time, away from kids.

Originally Posted by eshe

Let me put it this way.....l;,I'm gathering up a lot of good karma!!

In your situation, being an absolutely insane teacher would be somewhat understandable...except that I know you've experienced just enough wonderful teachers in your life that you're not going to be CRAZY TEACHER LADY ever...you've had teachers who inspire good teaching.

It also makes our shared crazy teacher experience that much more insane...we all were eccentric in our ways, we had a spinning princess.....but we didn't come close to your students...specialnessness.

I have, on rare occasion, allowed someone's child to wait quietly in the reception area if they're old enough to amuse themselves with a handheld video game or read a book. (you can't see from one area to another). But not in/around the students, for all the reasons listed above, PLUS it would completely unfair to any students who've gone to trouble to arrange and pay for a sitter so they can have this adult time.

Plus, if I let one student bring children, I'd have to let everyone bring children. Then what would my class look like? I have one student who has 7 kids, one who has 6.... holy moly!

Well the policy was already in place and I wasn't allowed to change it. The original instructor not only allowed kids but didn't say boo when they were running under feet and generally being a distraction to put it nicely.
I tell people when they ask that as long as the child will sit at the tables and play/read/draw quietly I have no problems because I completely understand the occational sitter issues. However if they become loud, distracting or start running around that the parent needs to take the kids and leave. So far it seems to work for me. Quite often the little ones will stand with mom and try what we're doing for a little bit then go sit down when they get tired. I have had gals take their little ones and leave because they were getting too wound up all on their own. So far I haven't had to actually ask anyone to take their kids out, thankfully. We do have a very large room with several tables the kids can sit at which helps too.

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NO.

............................. NO ..............

Qualifier: I will have two (one age 4 and one age 8 in a special SEPARATE 4-series beginner class ..... but I know the parents, the kids are exceptionally well-behaved, have already had dance and music lessons, have a burning desire to learn and have a good attention span, and the parents are PAYING for themselves as well as the two girls. And they understand the consequences of acting up. They will not be invited back....period.....

Originally Posted by Lauren_

I have, on rare occasion, allowed someone's child to wait quietly in the reception area if they're old enough to amuse themselves with a handheld video game or read a book. (you can't see from one area to another). But not in/around the students, for all the reasons listed above, PLUS it would completely unfair to any students who've gone to trouble to arrange and pay for a sitter so they can have this adult time.

Plus, if I let one student bring children, I'd have to let everyone bring children. Then what would my class look like? I have one student who has 7 kids, one who has 6.... holy moly!

The studio is looking to buy more property next door, so hopefully we will have a reception area soon. I had an issue a few weeks ago where a student went and dug out the emergency key for the studio and let herself into the class I was teaching (before hers) to prove some kind of point. Hopefully this kind of stuff will end when we have another room.

No kids, no sisters, no aunties, no friends from out of town. I agree with Zana, observers are distracting and inhibiting. The only time I've had an observer was when they were there to watch me teach (ah, adult ed!). It's a classroom, not a show, and if you're in the classroom you're dancing, not spectating. I warn students at the beginning of term that if they bring people to watch I will just send them away (and I do).

My exception to the "no kids" rule is private lessons. I've had a few lessons with new mums who couldn't be away from their babies, for whatever reason. In that case I don't mind, because the distractions due to fussing, crying and feeding only affect the one student. If she's happy to sacrifice some lesson time to attend to the baby then that's OK with me, it's her own time she's sacrificing, not a classroom full of students' time.

NO NO and NO again
I am not child minding
I am not insured
It is not safe for dance students
It is a distraction to students
I think students are most likely trying to have an hour away from home and family and other work-day cares.

I am one of those students with young ones and no support system to watch them. I have been fortunate enough to be with instructors that have allowed them as long as they were not disruptive. Usually in another room and monitored by my teenage daughter (whom I did not feel comfortable to leave home alone for several hours). If my children were having "one of those days", then I would gather them up and leave, understanding that others may not like the distraction, and I'm ususally embarrased by then. In five years I have only had one complaint and that was from a dance studio, actually set up for kids. Mine were too loud and they felt the need to kick them out into the parking lot without the curtesy of informing me.

When it comes to instructors I do not know well, such as workshops or drop ins, I only sign up if I know I will have someone available. Many times I have refused an event or workshop because of lack of child care and I have been encouraged to bring them along.

I do understand many not wanting children in their classes. But I do have to say, without the generosity and patience of those few who would accommodate me, I would not have come to know the dance, the dance I share with my children. And I am very thankful for that.

Another room with supervision is a different matter. A separatecreche is fine but children should not be "loose" in a space where people are indulging in an activity and there could be an accident.
A friend of mine was in a class where the teacher had allowed children to watch and one decided to keep darting onto the dance floor to pick up coins and beads and barged into dancers. Here in the Uk it's a legality matter. For most of us our insurance would not cover us and there areHealth and safety laws and regulations attached to premises..and you have to be vetted by the Criminal Records bureau before you have any contact with other people's children. So no way. Even if we like the idea of accomodating mums we should not!

I did, once, because a student occassionally needed to bring her sons with her to class until their father could pick them up after work. All the other students were fine with it, and they were sitting so quietly in their corner you never even knew they were there.

Other than that though, it hasn't really ever come up and I suppose I'd not allow it as a regular thing just because observers can weird out other students.

Definitely in agreement with everyone who discourages the little spectators. It's just unsafe, distracting and a buzzkill for students who come to BD classes to learn or to enjoy quiet time to themselves (or even to get away from their own kids!) If you word this politely, the parents will understand that you're looking out for their little one's safety and you won't come across as the child-hating Grinch.

I took a hula class this past spring and one of the students brought a little boy who couldn't have been more than 2 years old to class each week. Kid was adorable and stayed remarkably quiet, but would crawl into the dance space each time he was left unattended. The student would also have to step in and out of the dance space every 2 minutes or so to attend to the kid. The rest of the hula class was so relaxing and enjoyable, but I'd spend half of the time either getting distracted from the great music and the lesson, or worrying that I'd accidentally run into the little boy and hurt him.

Now, one of my students showed up to class with her 6-year-old daughter in tow this week and asked if her daughter could sit and watch. This student is great, so I made an exception and was pleasantly surprised. The little girl was pretty well behaved and brought a coloring book to stay busy. I even let her grab a veil and join us for the veil segment at the end, which made her and her mom soooooo happy.

I don't think I'll ever make a habit of allowing kids, but if a child is well-mannered and old enough to occupy herself, I don't see where the *occasional* exception can't be made in a case where the student can't get a babysitter, or whatever.

On the other hand, I think it's for everybody's benefit to leave babies or toddlers at home - too noisy, too difficult to spot if they crawl away.

As a student with two boys (10 yrs and 4yrs) I completely understand an instructor's point of view on basically not allowing visitors. On the occasions I don't have childcare I forego class altogether; there's no way I'd trust my four year old around a rack of hip scarves! However, at times my oldest feels the need to spend time with me and will ask to go to class with me; he sits on one of the couches in the back of the room and respectfully occupies himself with a handheld video game (muted). My teacher has an open door policy by the way, as long as the visitors are well behaved!

We discourage students from bringing kids to class. We tell them that their bellydance class is there personal time to get away from the kids. Not to mention, all the other students in the class are also trying to have some "me" time and get away from kids. It's not very relaxing or enjoyable when kids are running around. As far as space . . . . when we got a bigger studio, it just made the kids want to run around more and faster . . . wide open spaces tend to make kids hyper.

A lady in my class brought her little daughter with her for the first time. Our studio has alot of space. She mostly stayed in the doorway watching or in the dressing room. But after awhile she sneaked in and stayed quietly on the far side. Problem is, when we travelled from one end to the other, she was in my way. The mother said nothing. The last straw was when she was so close that I realized I was doing an undulation in her face! That's when I moved.

Then in my other class, the instructor has her less than 1 year old granddaughter crawling on the floor. Not safe! We're supposed to be dancing, not stopping to make sure the child doesn't get into trouble. I find myself focusing on the child to make sure she doesn't hurt herself, or step on her! She's beyond adorable, but it's not safe for her or the students.

I agree with Zepora. More space, the more they want to explore.

Conclusion: I'd say no kids. You can nicely point that out to existing and future students by putting it in your class rules/policy.

Nope. Kids who are old enough to participate are welcome to take the class (and pay), but I don't allow any visitors.

Here's an excerpt from my class policy handout:

"When we belly dance, we learn to move our bodies in ways that women are often discouraged from moving in our culture. This can make us feel vulnerable, and so visitors are not allowed in the studio during class. Guests may wait in the vestibule with the door closed. Preteen and teenage girls are welcome to join the class, but please make childcare arrangements for any other children."

Originally Posted by eshe

I'm going to say no too because she doesn't need to bring them, she just thinks it would be an "exotic experience" for them. They're not even her kids, they're her sister's children.

That's probably the worst reason to bring a child to a dance class.

Can't she just hire you or show up to a place where you perform?

Originally Posted by eshe

I'm going to say no too because she doesn't need to bring them, she just thinks it would be an "exotic experience" for them. They're not even her kids, they're her sister's children.

they could take a private lesson from you ..g.:

Well, I know better than to try to take my little monkeys to class with me, but I've taken classes with many instructors that have allowed children to be present. As far as I can remember it only caused a problem once (and the mom promptly took the child and left). I don't see the harm in having a well-behaved older child sit in as long as they are not distracting in any way, but I can see how it would be really hard to enforce when someone finally does get out of hand without a strict policy of some sort.

I too think you should be paid for the "exotic experience" seekers, Eshe. And...paid even more to hug them and tell them you love them. ;)