Thread: "Divatude" - an article by Tempest

When I think back to all of the teachers I’ve studied with – for regular classes as well for workshops, the ones I’ve returned to again and again all have something in common, despite being different in style, age, gender, experience, or location. I found that I was drawn to them not only because I felt the teaching was strong and improved my understanding of the dance as a whole as well as what it meant for me, on my body – but I truly enjoyed who they were/are as people, and that enriched the experience all the more.

I like to think that I offer the same opportunity to my students – they are not only exposed to the history of bellydance, its styles, movements, and diversity, but get to see who I am as a human being. Which includes all of my little quirks – I can be serious, and I can be a (lot) tad silly. I can be very eloquent and deep, and I can call my ankle an elbow if it’s been one of those days. I talk with my hands…a lot. You pretty much get the picture.

Recently on my journeys, a friend told me the story of someone in her community and that person’s experience upon meeting a famous bellydancer. This person had been actually upset and disappointed that the famous dancer was friendly and interacted with everyone, not just a select few community elite. That surely, such a great dancer would have been far more reserved and selective about the company she keeps. This story left me speechless. Why would someone *expect* that sort of behavior from anyone?

Shortly afterward, I saw another somewhat prominent teacher/dancer bash the quality and aptitude of the students attending her workshop at a foreign event, in a public forum, probably assuming that none of those students would read the forum if it’s in another land? Again, I was struck speechless. I have taught easily well over a hundred workshops all over the US and in Europe, and never would have I dismissed an entire group of students as not being proficient enough dancers, especially when you know they’re coming from different levels of experience and backgrounds. (In retrospect, I would more likely believe that the issue lay in the teacher and her material, rather than the ability of the students.)

(part 2 cont'd below)

And then there’s those dancers who offer a lot of lip service to the student’s face (and backside), and then switch their tune once their listening ears have left the building – especially if they find out the student has other heroes as well (thou shalt not have any other god before she!). It hurts me to see a student beaming with the praise she was given by a favorite dancer, when as soon as she was out of ear shot, eyes were rolled and/or comments contradicting the faux compliment are made. Is it better to leave the student believing what she’s been told, and basking in the nuclear glow of her idol, or break her heart with the truth?

As I mentioned, these were all recently observed experiences, and they’ve culminated into this piece exploring the state of “Divatude.” What does it mean to be a Diva? What are a Diva’s obligations to herself and her public? What does it mean to idolize a Diva? And most of all, what IS a Diva?

The Online Etymology Dictionary defines “diva” as "distinguished woman singer," 1883, from It. diva "goddess, fine lady," from L. diva "goddess," fem. of divus "divine (one)."

The American Heritage Dictionary defines diva as
1. An operatic prima donna.
2. A very successful singer of nonoperatic music: a jazz diva.
[Italian, from Latin dīva, goddess, feminine of dīvus, god; see dyeu- in Indo-European roots.]

A little outdated nowadays since the term is applied to many performers outside of the opera or song realm, but it’s interesting to note the divine roots of the word, as well as the fact that you don’t see “a temperamental, high-strung bitch” among the definitions. But that’s really the most common image the term tends to bring to mind. Definitely not a good thing to a word that had such glorious roots.

As someone who has been trained as a visual arts since the age of 3, and have been exposed to all aspects of the performing arts since then, I do understand the truth behind “artists can be temperamental” – anyone who makes their living directly from their bodies in such a subjective manner (for in sports, it’s either win or lose, the same is not true with the arts), the experience can more or less make you batty. But being shallow, petty, self-centered, and self-absorbed are uncommon traits among artists, nor are they qualities to be celebrated or imitated. No matter how great the artist is.

What makes someone act like the negative Diva? Is it concern about reputation or perception? A(n overdeveloped) sense of entitlement? Some bizarre belief that by stepping on the little people, you make yourself seem greater? Just someone with a bad personality to begin with? Or maybe just a very shy person who doesn’t know how to deal with the public? And most importantly, can such behavior be fixed? Honestly, I don’t know – I’m sure every person is different, but I can think of some ways to deal with and perhaps prevent such negativity.

(part 3 continued below)

The truth is, our dance community is relatively small – VERY small. The internet has brought together dancers from far ends of the globe and made them next door neighbors. And while there’s plenty of room to celebrate great dance, there’s not a lot of room for monstrous egos – it damages not only the artist, but all levels of the community, from the event sponsor to the student.

From the ground up:

For the students: draw your inspiration from as many dancers as your eyes will let you take in. Very early on my dance journey, I was told, “you can learn something from every dancer – that means both the good and not-so-good ones” and that’s true for dancers as they’re performing and who they are in the classroom and backstage. The best teacher will not only help you grow as a dancer, but their spirit and integrity should inspire you as well. Just like your parents, your dance idols aren’t perfect. They make mistakes, they don’t live in a perfect glass bubble, and they put their flared pants on the same way you do, one sore leg at a time. They’re just at a different part in their journey than you. That doesn’t make them a better person than you, it just makes them different. Remember that, and know it’s wonderful to be the student, no matter where you’re at. The best teachers keep on learning well after they’re established.

For the sponsors: how much is stress and hassle worth? If that one name diva costs you twice the cost of two good dance instructors, and four times the mental drama, does that really balance out in the end? Communities grow through exposure, and prosperity can come just as much as from diversity, as the standard. Eventually, a negative diva will wear herself out, though not before she wears out a string of sponsors and disenchants students from compromising behavior. The economy is tough, but a good sponsor can get the best of both worlds and educate their community in the process.

For the dancer/teacher/performer – professional behavior doesn’t equate to being a *****. It means being reliable, considerate, comprehensive in thought, and gracious under stress and respectful of your students, colleagues, and sponsors. In the end, you’ll get more respect in the community and career longevity through cultivating these traits, in addition to the skillful practice of your art – than being a negative diva. If you treat yourself and others honorable at all points in your dance journey, it shall be returned to you. That is what makes a true Diva – a distinguished lady with a dash of divineness.

(da end).

halle-frickin'-lujah!

i just recently seen BAD diva-tude come from a couple of newer 'pros' who blasted an organizer for a fairly well organized FIRST event!.....a sense of entitlement and illusory sense of their own abilities while in the same room with TRULY stellar dancers who exemplify what makes a TRUE diva

one should never ACT like they're all that and a bag of chips.....my 'diva' heroes may have their quirks, but they DO all exemplify the grace, generosity, warmth and respect cited above

thank you thank you thank you!

To paraphrase Bill Maher: If you really are better than everyone else, and have a lot more experience, then MAYBE you have the right to expect things to be done a certain way. Otherwise: you're just a *****.

I expect a certain amount of "divaness": when I sponsored Morocco in a show, she made a lot of changes to the lighting and the cameras. And she's the pro with a lot of experience and has an eye on doing things right.

But, also Aunt Rocky is kind and thoughtful and will listen to everyone. That's how I expect a diva to behave.

You're a snoot and better-than-anyone-else? Then you apparently still have something to prove. I've got my own problems; I'm too busy stroking my students' ego to work on yours. Get over it.

The better you are the less you should have to prove it. We're a family-and I grew up in the Norman Rockwell Libertarian kind (that's a joke; it's how my husband refers to us) When I say family, I mean it in the best way.

Kitty

Thank you so much for posting this. This applies in every aspect of life, not just dance and it is an important thing to remember as one moves through the dance world. Your article was very well rounded and IMO relevant to some of what goes on these days. I especially like the idea of reclaiming the true meaning of Diva!

Originally Posted by kahaz

To paraphrase Bill Maher: If you really are better than everyone else, and have a lot more experience, then MAYBE you have the right to expect things to be done a certain way. Otherwise: you're just a *****.

Kitty

Great quote, Kitty!

Great article - and it resonates on quite a few levels with me as I've encountered some of this - teachers insanely jealous of other teachers, etc, etc. Why? Everyone loses...

Rosehips, a great article, I really enjoyed reading it. So far I, as a student, have been lucky and not yet encountered the 'wrong-side' of Divaship in instructors, but have seen it in a so called advanced student, Little did she know that the other students grinned & rolled their eyes behind her back, shrugged and got on with it, she was left thinking she was it & a bit! Said student-Diva has calmed down a bit, after hurting her hip when trying to show off when executing hip flicks and hip overs.

Good article!
I have heard several mentions of instructors acting like divas and talking badly about students behind their backs lately.
When this happens, I wish the people who witnessed it would give a heads up of who did it instead of just being anonymous. I certainly don't want to give my business to any teacher who doesn't want to teach and thinks she is above everyone.
As long as people don't discuss it, then divaesque teachers will stay in business.

I too would want to know. I have enough self image issues with out my own teacher talking smack behind my back.

Great article, Tempest! Well done! You summed it up beautifully in part 3 under "From the ground up:".

Originally Posted by kahaz

The better you are the less you should have to prove it.

'nother good quote

and good article ..g.:

Originally Posted by rosehips

Recently on my journeys, a friend told me the story of someone in her community and that person’s experience upon meeting a famous bellydancer. This person had been actually upset and disappointed that the famous dancer was friendly and interacted with everyone, not just a select few community elite. That surely, such a great dancer would have been far more reserved and selective about the company she keeps. This story left me speechless. Why would someone *expect* that sort of behavior from anyone?

Great article! Well written, and valid points!

I have to agree with your reaction to this person who was upset about the famous dancer being approachable. Good grief! I could understand someone being pleasantly surprised to find out that a star is nice to everyone and not an elitist, but to be upset about it, and to think the star should be elitist? How odd!

Tempest, this is fantastic and I couldn't have read it at a better time than right now. I'm sure everyone has dealt with this; unfortunately I deal with a diva every week and it becomes exhausting. I think you hit the nail on the head here.


Have you submitted this to Jareeda or iShimmy or another magazine? If not, I *highly* recommend it! This should be spread to an even wider audience.

Yes I agree with submitting this to a national print!
I've run into this as well and really there is nothing more frustrating. Its even worse when most don't have the backing to support the "diva-ness".
As an event sponsor myself I just decide not to deal with these types of people. Even if they are in high demand or "good" dancers. I refuse to support that kind of attitude.
In the end I still have hope in old lady karma!

I have been thinking alot about this issue too as of late. This was such a well written article. Thanks for posting it. There is no need to support negative diva's with attitudes when there are so many positive DIVA's out there! :)

Fantastic article, much appreciated.

Those who can dance & teach well are secure in that knowledge. They know there is no value in treating others unkindly.

Those who cannot, spend their time trying to convince others they can. Negative attention, is still attention. When they expect guest instructors to treat every one unkindly (diva), it's an indication of how they will treat others if they ever rise to the rank of instructor.

thanks everyone, I think I'll be editing it a bit and submit it to one of the better print publications.