Thread: Video of me dancing - looking for critique please

I've been dancing for three years now. I'm beginning to work on doing less of the pop music, and instead trying to dance to longer and more complex pieces. This is one of my first efforts in that arena. It's also the first time I looked at video of my dancing and felt like maybe I actually deserved to be wearing that expensive costume, LOL.

The first part is an improvisation to a piece by Emad Sayyah. The second part is a drum solo choreographed by Jasmin Jahal. If you don't have seven minutes to watch the whole thing, I'd most benefit from critique of the improvisation. There are things that really jump out at me as stuff I need to work on (for example, putting more energy into my entrance), and I am interested in hearing what others think. What works? What doesn't? Any suggestions for goals I can set for myself, based on what you see? Thanks so much for sharing your time and expertise.

*deep breath* Okay, here it is... .w.:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dlm8EakS68]YouTube - Bellydance[/ame]

I am no expert by far but I will say what I notice (because they are my problems too!) You are right, the entrance needs a little more energy. It would have also been nice to see you use the veil a little more before ditching it instead of it just flying behind you. Also, it may have just been nerves, but you looked a little stiff. I know that the rib cage should be up and open but perhaps not so rigid if that makes sense.

I will say that you have some killer hip work and really nice isolations! Arms look pretty good as well. You also did a great job of looking out at the audience and connecting with them which can be hard from a stage. Improv is one of my weaknesses so I am always impressed when others do it and pull it off! Good job.

You have very nice hip articulation. One thing you could add is some level changes in the entrance. That might add a little energy. Very nice performance.

Hi

good:
- nice smile
- pretty clean isolations
- intention in your arm movements
- there is a calmness and control to your dancing which is quite reassuring
- attentive to the music

to improve:
-opening up and lifting through the chest, this might require some back strengthening exercises and some stretching as well as just mentally forcing yourself to open up when you dance. Try to avoid leaning back.

-learning to walk like a dancer instead of a pedestrian, that includes leading and reaching with your toes (instead of leading with your heels), peeling your feet from the floor, pointing your feet, and so on.

- building smoother transitions between movements.

- relaxing into your technique. Some of the steps don't seem natural or comfortable for you quite yet. Practice until you can make everything look easy.

That's a start. You looked lovely.

Nimah, so cute! I love your musical interpretation. Your hipwork is very nice, especially your figure 8s. Your arms are strong most of the time, though occasionally a little stiff.

The main thing I'd want to see you work on at this point is bringing your ribcage forward. When your body is turned to the side, you can really see that your hips are forward of the ribcage, I'd like to see your ribcage brought forward of the hips, shoulders back and chest wide open. Dancing with an 'open heart' we call it sometimes. I think it would bring your already-strong stage presence to a real pro level.

Your footwork is very cute and simple, you found a nice balance of traveling and stationary work. And you did a good job matching the light, playful tone of the first piece and finding the power in the drum solo.

Good job!

Originally Posted by shems

Hi


-learning to walk like a dancer instead of a pedestrian, that includes leading and reaching with your toes (instead of leading with your heels), peeling your feet from the floor, pointing your feet, and so on.

Oh, *I* totally need to work on this, for myself and with my students! So glad you mentioned it!

Ok, just a teeny thing, nothing much really... your shoes distracted me, I'm not sure if it was just video quality or what, but it looked like your costume had gold accents (could be reflection of the red) and your shoes were silver? Maybe some hermes sandals would give a lower profile/less attention to your feet?

Originally Posted by whitneync

Ok, just a teeny thing, nothing much really... your shoes distracted me, I'm not sure if it was just video quality or what, but it looked like your costume had gold accents (could be reflection of the red) and your shoes were silver? Maybe some hermes sandals would give a lower profile/less attention to your feet?

Haha, I totally hear you on that. I have to wear ballroom shoes with lots of nice padding in them for medical reasons, and they're pretty expensive. (Not as expensive as new costumes, but let's not mention that, LOL) I keep meaning to save up to buy a gold pair, but for now all I have is silver. Thanks for the extra incentive...

Originally Posted by shems

to improve:

-learning to walk like a dancer instead of a pedestrian, that includes leading and reaching with your toes (instead of leading with your heels), peeling your feet from the floor, pointing your feet, and so on.

- relaxing into your technique. Some of the steps don't seem natural or comfortable for you quite yet. Practice until you can make everything look easy.

Thank you so so so so much for your comments. They are immeasurably helpful! I was wondering if you could explain what you mean by "peeling your feet from the floor."

Also, if wouldn't mind naming a few of the steps that you think don't seem natural for me quite yet, that can help me target my practice.

I agree with what the others say. I specially liked the cute backward look with shoulder shimmy at 0.37 and the hipwork with level changes at 1.14. What control! Nice work!

Some lovely crisp moves..I'm with most people here
I suppose my criticisms are yes I too find those shoes distracting and really choice of footwear shouldn't matter THAT much but some how it does. Ballroom or bare feet please
and the "pedestrian" start criticism finds its' root in THAT music. Everything perks up amazingly after it finishes and we move on.
But back to the main comment love those downwards and wish I had your grace,.

Drop your shoulders, don't let them swallow up your neck! Think of someone standing behind you pressing your shoulders to the floor, even when your arms are reaching up. Dropping you shoulders will open up your entire chest and give you a more polished look.

Nice job!

Nimah,

Overall you really have a nice foundation. You have an idea what is supposed to be going on. You control you're movements and you seem relaxed (maybe a tinsy bit to much).

What I would suggest to work on is your walk. It was very much prancing around in the beginning. We dancers want to glide not prance. Hmmm, how do I explain? Instead of walking heel to toe (like normal walking) try walking on the balls of your feet, it's graceful and adds height to your dancing, which also is nice with level changes.

The only other thing I will mention is trying more transitions. They are my achilies heel and I struggle with them myself. This routine was very 1,2,3,4. I knew what was going to come next befor you did it.

If you have studied with the same teacher for three years maybe it's time to find someone else to learn from too. I'm not saying drop your teacher like a hot potatoe, but get a teacher on the side too.

You've got it Nimah.

I agree with a lot of what has already been said - very nice work indeed! You should be very proud of yourself!

For your level as you described it, I'm especially impressed by two things - your arms/hands, and like shems mentioned, your calmness and control while dancing. IMO, these are two things that can really take a dancer to the next level and are very hard to overcome if you start out with bad habits (I speak prom personal experience). While very occasionally the arms seem a tiny bit stiff, they are strong and there's no flicking/twirling of the hands that you see so often in student dancers. There's also a lack of anything too busy or frantic in your movements, which is something you see much of the time in more inexperienced performers.

Your movements are very nicely executed - sharp where they should be sharp, gooey where they should be gooey. Technique wise you are in a really great place for being 3 years in.

Where I would suggest room for improvement is in the overall energy of the performance. The walk could definately use a bit of work, and I think it especially sticks out in this piece because there's quite a bit of it. Think of the energy that supermodels have when they walk the runway - not the slouchy posture or clompy steps, but the powering forward and taking command of the stage. Like Ms. Tyra Banks says on America's Next Top Model, "create your own wind". And like some others mentioned, lead with your chest. My teacher suggests taking a deeeeeep breath and entering the stage before letting it out, so right from the get go you're up and lifted.

I also think that some more complexity and texture would bring things up a notch. Try mixing your already beautiful moves by adding level changes, or different positioning of your body for more of a 3 dimensional performance. This is something that I have, with the help of my teacher, been getting better at in my performances - and since doing so, have gotten a lot of comments along the lines of "you seem like a totally different dancer these days!".

Ha, i have a workshop called "walk like a dancer"; we work on exactly what shems suggested (and other stuff.., and variations of "walking" like a dancer)

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Oh, *I* totally need to work on this, for myself and with my students! So glad you mentioned it!

One thing I do with my students, to get them used to the feeling of "chest forward, weight forward, walking with energy" is to tie a veil around a student's ribcage and actually (gently) pull her forward. Shifting the weight forward made *such* a change in my own dancing...

Wow, I am so jealous of your control during both pieces, especially your arms and hands! Fabulous!

I am going to throw my 2 cents in on what you may want to work on improving and you are welcome to take it with a grain of salt since it was judged from a video. But I would suggest working on conveying emotions while you perform. You had good facial expressions (as far as I could see), but the body language and overall feeling I got was stiffness and you seemed focused the movements. For me, it helps to focus a great deal during a performace on what I want the audience to feel, filling the space with emotion, and not think *too* much. A dancer always seems on that next level, when I am "feeling with" a dancer compared to just watching a dancer, even if both are technically similar. It also might help some of the technical things mentioned above. When you are feeling confident your shoulders come down, chest comes forward, neck elongates...all very naturally! I have been dealing with this too, I saw a video and I could have been wearing my shoulder straps as earings!!

Good luck to you and thanks for sharing!!
Meredith

Oh,everyone here pretty much said it-
here´s 2 cents from Sweden,called ören:D

Something that I thought of was that the arms could have smoother transitions(and less of the basic egyptian hands)
BUT!
I really love to see a bellydancer who isn´t running through the music to show off all moves she/he can do!
A bellydancer who is doing the steps in whole,
instead of cutting off movements and doing half hip eights to hurry to the next step!
A bellydancer who is dancing inside the music!

That bellydancers is YOU Nimah,
thank you for making my day*kisses'

Originally Posted by nimah

Thank you so so so so much for your comments. They are immeasurably helpful! I was wondering if you could explain what you mean by "peeling your feet from the floor."

Also, if wouldn't mind naming a few of the steps that you think don't seem natural for me quite yet, that can help me target my practice.

I wish you were here I could show you. I highly recommend getting a teacher to work with you on this kind of stuff in person. You can do an exercise where you basically press through each foot, slowly lifting the heel and pressing through the ball, then slowly lifting the ball and pressing through the toes, almost like pressing your foot to a pointed position has pushed your foot off the floor, then you return toes first, then ball then heel to the ground. You might imagine your foot has it's own spine and you have to work vertebrae by vertebrae to push it off the floor. That's just to start you off on the feet, you will also need to deal with what your knees and legs are doing as well to control the feeling of your walks. Really, find a local teacher who is good at this to show you, even a modern or ballet teacher would be able to help a ton.

As for the other, moves have too many different names. Let me look and I'll give you times instead.

okay, I was looking for specific movements that I felt were particular culprits and there are a couple, 1:43 and 2:30 and the turns, you need to spot and lead your turns with your upper body.

But I think it was the general feeling I was noticing. You are very strict with yourself in your movement, it is very contained and specific and very straight forward (literally, you face directly forward or side almost the entire time). I imagine you don't dance that way when you are partying with your friends. I love to see a dancer that has the same comfortable natural quality as she would when just casually party dancing, but with the extension and precision of a technician, both at the same time.

My best suggestion as to how to find that relaxed but still precise, beautifully placed but not stagnant, released but still controlled feeling is to dance along with videos of dancers who do that great. Study their in between moments. Watch how their arms draw paths between placements and how even arm placements have breath.

Aziza would be a great dancer for you to study or Ansuya, or Dina or Mona...whoever does it for you.

I think you did lovely. There isn't much I can elaborate on in regards to both ends of the spectrum.

One thing does come to mind, though... and it's a very common thing and perhaps led by my own personal preference. I think in the quest for isolations and posture, the upper body is often neglected. Let your ribcage move... side to side, up and down. Reach UP with the music, collapse into a beautiful sway... You can still move your ribcage and maintain good posture. It takes practice, but I really do love it when dancers dance with their whole body.

Kudos for posting this clip for critique. It's a GREAT way to find new things to work on.

This is a lovely piece. Congrats.

Ii am going to agree with learning to open up you shoulders and chest area. Remember to bring the shoulders back and down. You might also look at you neck and head alignment. Your forehead looks as though it is forward and your chin is down.


Another thing, and this is a me thing, is to remember to pause at the end of a phrase. While you didn't rush, rush, rush, there was almost a feeling that you finished a phrase and jumped right into the next one! Rather disconcerting. Also, when you learn to pause, you allow the audience a chance to have it sink in, to enjoy what it is they have seen. Big stuff. And, you get to play Diva at that moment!

Keep going! You are on your way!

{{{HUGS}}}

Nimah,
congratulations in having such good foundation to build on! Most of the both good and bad have been said, but here is my 2 cents also:

I agree on the walking, work on that. Both on walking like a dancer but also putting more energy, covering more space and giving the wald some attidtude. When you enter you must feel that you are the queen, not sorry-I´m-here. I believe this is partially a thing that comes with experience, your confidence gets better and therefore you can put more attitude in.

You have very good hip work, but there is room for improvement concerning the overall polish and framing of you dance, hands, transitions, posture and some of your foot work, especially when you did the drop and kick your feet weren´t as elegant they could be.

But what I felt it lacked most was grounding and dancing into the floor. You are tall and slim and it´s hard to get that earthiness and heavyness I love to see in bellydance. Work on trying ro relax more in to the movements and dancing more into the floor.

But overall, very nice!

Hi I'm sorry you took this down as i wanted to look at it with comments to see how far I have to go!!

I'd like to add that there are a lot of positive points in your perforamnce, I might have something useful to add for you to work with.

A lot has been said about 'walking like a dancer'and it's all good advice. But what I missed was a bit of playing around with the rhythm.

The music has a very steady rhythm and your feet match the four count during your whole entrance. One way of making it more dynamic is by changing the way you fill the rhythm.

For example: follow the four count four times, then use footwork that require you to walk twice as fast. Or use a step that changes the way you use the rhythm (like a chasse or pas de bourre).

I also would have like to see you use the veil some more. I noticed that your arms stay on shoulder level most of the time. A veil is a perfect excuse to try the extremes: when you raise your arms it changes the way the veil moves. So get your veil out and start walking around, experimenting with what feels good to you. Maybe videotape it to see what you like.

Thanks for posting this clip, writing this stuff down makes me realise that I need to do the same thing!

all constructive critique aside, it was a nice performance you should feel good about. Happy training. :-)

Originally Posted by jencUK

Hi I'm sorry you took this down as i wanted to look at it with comments to see how far I have to go!!

It's still up. YouTube is kind of goofy sometimes. If you ever get that "Sorry, this video has been removed" message on an embedded YouTube video, click on the title just above the video and that should open it up over at YouTube.com.

very cute! i think instead of memorized arm and hand place ment. like when you put you hand in you hair . really mean and feel the movement.

Transitions need work and you need to include your head in your dancing. By that I mean its ok to allow a little lean or movement above your shoulders. Dont dance from the neck down. I am not talking about facial expressions. Also, if you like Lebanese music, check out some Lebani dancers on You-Tube. The spirit is different than Egyptian. I thought your first piece was a choreo too because you seemed to anticipate the moves and often moved into it just a little ahead of the beat. Now before I sound like a big old meaney, over all I think you did very nice job.
Others have already mentioned arms, I will too but I think the stiffness makes your arms look rather "Cheer leader" and not dancer. Try to move into your arm positions instead of just striking into them. Try imagining using muscle resistance as you raise and lower your arms. It will make you look stronger and more in control. You were right on in your self assesment of your entry. More strength and passion are needed there to make that dynamic first impression we all strive for to keep an audiences attention. Try to add more build up of intensity in your performance. Again, not trying to be mean but it was pretty much all one level with no high or low spots, just medium paced thru the whole dance.

Just my thoughts, maybe more as an audience member and not a pro...

I see a number of dancers who show off more energy than technique (myself included, since I'm lacking in the refinement sometimes), but I really appreciated that you show off your refined technique. You have a lot of control and that's definitely the foundation of all the dancers I admire most.

When you picked up the energy towards the middle/end, it was even better. I think the mix of passion, energy, and refinement is what makes an awesome dance.