Thread: Bye bye bellydance and bye bye bhuz.

The title says it all. I know nobody is bothered but I have made the odd friend on here so I am letting you all know why I am leaving the forum.

Im sure bellydance on the whole is a great experience but mine has been not so good. It started great with a great teacher, Lizajuk I publicy thank you for your expertise and teaching. I enjoyed every lesson.

Unfortunatley though it appears that I can not have a voice on these boards without people jumping to conclusions and thinking that everything that comes out of my mouth is in reference to Liz. I can assure everyone it is not. I have family members who dance, close work colleagues who bellydance and more often than not their everyday concerns I end up thinking about and this is when I tend to post. However, it seems (though I could be wrong) that local teachers feel that I am publicly either a) making up porkies ...maybe this is because they feel they know every teacher and every single dancer on the scene and therefore they have to make association with everything. and b) that I am having a personal dig at particular people.

I am not a bitter or angry person but I do feel when I come on these boards that something really winds me up.

Anyway thanks everyone for all the tips, advice and encouragement. I shall be posting alot of cds, dvds and coin belts and a gorge pair of zills from Egypt up free of charge over the next few days if anyoen would like them. They are no longer any good to me.

Kind Regards and happy dancing

Emma xxx

Emma Bhuz is not belly dance and belly dance is not Bhuz.
Our city is full of great teachers who are very accessable and have nothing whatsoever to do with internet discussion.
The problem with posting posts that are vague is that folks will make connections come what may. It's human nature.
Misinterpretation is very easy and how often do we put 2 and 2 together and make 99?!
This is a very supportive community both here on Bhuz ,I am sure most people will agree and out there most dancers are supportive although this is a creative activity and one with limited professional opportunites and as in any business ( when you get to that level) you will meet up with jealousies and insecurities.
I was in a show this last summer where 15 dancers from all over the area worked togther so well and enjoyed each others company. We have just put on a show locally and the way nearly 30 dancersnand extras worked together showed so well that the happy cast on stage refelected into the audience who commented on it. We had a ball!

Of that community and friendship I am in total admiration. However, I don't feel I did get off on the right foot with other bhuzzers and I do feel maybe like Im the nightmare pupil to be watched...I mean lets face it...I am probably known as the whacko nightmare student!!

Oh dear, I'm sorry you feel that way Emma, I've never noticed anything like that in your posts, but then I'm from down South, so I wouldn't know who you were or were not referring to anyway. Could you not carry on dancing anyway? You don't have to be on Bhuz to be a bellydancer, if you love it there is no reason to stop. I'm sad that you feel that way about Bhuz too, it is easy to misconstrue the written word, especially when people are writing passionately about a topic where they feel strongly, I'm not saying you misunderstood, but maybe others misunderstood you. I'm sure you're not a nightmare student, you sound lovely to me! (((((Big hugs)))))

Bye bye flounce post. *waves*

You know, I sympathize. Sometimes I ask myself whether it’s worth it to keep going, when my feelings have been hurt by this or that dancer in my own community, when I feel rather isolated because there are some people I just can’t make myself get along with, when even on Bhuz I’ve occasionally been treated to condescending pats on the head that make me want to scream. (I’m also, I recognize, guilty of being a ***** at times. .w.:)

But something makes me persevere. This dance feeds my soul like nothing else in my life, and whatever pain I’ve experienced hasn’t been enough to cancel that out. I hope that, while you haven’t found Bhuz to be the welcoming community you’d wished for, you can seek and find other like-minded dancers who will help hold you up in the beautiful light this dance can cast. Good luck to you!

Some people just don't enjoy discussion groups, for whatever reason, or don't mesh well with this particular group. I still miss Maria of Boulder very much, but Bhuz just upset her and she wasn't cut out for it. If it's not fun for you, then of course you shouldn't hang around.

It does make more sense to me, though, to give up the message board that isn't fun, rather than the dance that is. But that's your decision, of course.

I just popped by your other thread -- you're leaving because of some PMs you received? Out of the tens of thousands of Bhuz members, how many PMd you? You're letting those couple of folks represent Bhuz in your mind? That doesn't seem fair.

I've been ignored, argued with, and misconstrued. *shrug* I don't expect someone who I've never met that lives in Cali to immediately understand a post that might have been worded in a way that made sense to me but not to them. But if you want my honest opinion, you can't possibly enjoy bellydance all that much if a social networking site convinces you to give it up. If you really are just so-so on belly dance, then you probably should just give it up. But if you love it, then why the hell are you letting people get you down? They don't know you and it's never too late to start over and maybe mend some bridges.
Sorry, but I see these posts a lot and I always wonder how dedicated you were to begin with if you're going to give up dance just cause of some comments that were made.

I sympathize with you in terms of wondering the "why bother" of things. I also sympathize with your feelings of being attacked--I felt that way about another forum once upon a time. However, why abandon the art form? Why not just choose not to participate in the forum? I agree with Lizajuk... Bhuz is not bellydance. Bellydance has stood the test of time, and will continue to stand the test of time regardless of personality differences between dancers, communities, etc... Pursue your passion, and everyone else be d****ed.

Originally Posted by Sonja2

I sympathize with you in terms of wondering the "why bother" of things. I also sympathize with your feelings of being attacked--I felt that way about another forum once upon a time. However, why abandon the art form? Why not just choose not to participate in the forum? I agree with Lizajuk... Bhuz is not bellydance. Bellydance has stood the test of time, and will continue to stand the test of time regardless of personality differences between dancers, communities, etc... Pursue your passion, and everyone else be d****ed.

I agree. Bhuz can get a bit crazy sometimes, but you don't have to post. I have a couple of friends who call themselves "lurkers" because they listen and learn but never actively participate.
You do what you need to do for you. If dance makes you hapyy - dance. No one ever said you have to dance for others.
Take care!

Hey girl, I've been ignored, argued with, put down , insulted and misconstrued as well and at times I wanted to quit Bhuz so bad, but I am not giving those other people the joy of me leaving. Don't go because of someone else is giving you a hard time. From what I can read on here, you sound like a sweet person ..g.: and I hate to lose a good person because of other people's not so nice attitude. ,m:: If you decide to leave (I don't want you to) and you said you'll be giving items away, please keep me in mind... I'll pay for the shippingl but please don't quit Bhuz. ..cr.:

Shaharazad

Sorry you had to go all public like this instead of contacting those teacher s involved and working it out with them privately. It's a shame you've had to kick up a drama cloud in your wake. Sorry circumstances made you do that. Best of luck wherever you land next!

(now, would some one tell me what's involved with "making up porkies" because it sounds salacious but context tells me it not.)

(now, would some one tell me what's involved with "making up porkies" because it sounds salacious but context tells me it not.)

It means making up lies/telling tales. Its from Cockney Rhyming Slang 'Pork/Porky Pie' = 'To tell a lie'.

Sorry if this disappoints !

Originally Posted by khadiya

It means making up lies/telling tales. Its from Cockney Rhyming Slang 'Pork/Porky Pie' = 'To tell a lie'.

Sorry if this disappoints !

As an American of a certain age, "Porky's" represents to me a series of cheesey 80's sex comedies wherein pivotal scenes revolve around peeping in a girl's shower room.

Or something involving the pork/sausage industry.

Edited to add: For the record, from now on I will cling to the idea that Tribal B is flouncing because she's been caught peeping in a shower-room....because that makes about as much sense as anything else on this thread.

Originally Posted by Tribal_Butterfly

Of that community and friendship I am in total admiration. However, I don't feel I did get off on the right foot with other bhuzzers and I do feel maybe like Im the nightmare pupil to be watched...I mean lets face it...I am probably known as the whacko nightmare student!!

I am so sorry..cr.: I actually feel the same way and you won't see me around here as much anymore. The drama gets to be a little intense.

Originally Posted by eshtabellydance

I am so sorry..cr.: I actually feel the same way and you won't see me around here as much anymore. The drama gets to be a little intense.

Hmmm, except for the threads on the U.S. elections, I thought Bhuz has been reasonably calm the last week or so. (I figure issues of politics and religion will always trigger some flame wars. But I'm here to talk about dance, so I usually ignore those threads.)

Of course, there were some exciting fireworks on dance-related topics about 2-3 weeks ago, but again those seem to have calmed down and it seems to me as though the recent dance-related threads have all been pretty respectful in tone - even the public thread that Tribal_Butterfly started regarding a teacher's certification. (I have no idea what may have been said to her in private messages, of course.)

exciting fireworks on dance-related topics about 2-3 weeks ago, but again those seem to have calmed down

Crap..I was on vacation right about then! My favorite song is Drama Queen!

Originally Posted by Taj

This dance feeds my soul like nothing else in my life ..............

Taj, this is beautiful ................ I feel the same way ....

Originally Posted by anala

exciting fireworks on dance-related topics about 2-3 weeks ago, but again those seem to have calmed down

Crap..I was on vacation right about then! My favorite song is Drama Queen!

Me, too! Just got back ...... WHAT HAPPENED? .w.:

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Some people just don't enjoy discussion groups, for whatever reason, or don't mesh well with this particular group. I still miss Maria of Boulder very much, but Bhuz just upset her and she wasn't cut out for it. If it's not fun for you, then of course you shouldn't hang around.

It does make more sense to me, though, to give up the message board that isn't fun, rather than the dance that is. But that's your decision, of course.

Hi all,
It's me, Maria from Boulder. I have been lurking around lately.
I left Bhuz because I felt Rosey did not stick up for me, a long time and big time contributor to the board re:issue with vendor.
I also had a very disturbing scenario with a really psycho and I mean psycho stalker. FBI involvement and everything. By the way everyone, I will update you all shortly on it. It was very disturbing, and he is in jail in california.

I also have left the bellydance community in boulder/denver after my beloved Mataam FEz in Boulder closed. I had major issues with restaurant owners, and just can't deal with it.

In the meantime, I am very very busy with flamenco. I am one of my director's soloists now, and doing alot of flamenco gigs, also working for him as his personal assistant.

Bellydance just isn't much part of my life now. I still teach, and still love the dance and always will. My classes are very big, economy didn't seem to deter students. However, it did deter a workshop I was going to have hosting Leila of Cairo. I had to cancel it. Someone else took it over and they only had around 15 - 20 people!!! I would have lost my shirt.

Money has been an issue in my family this past year, along with a lot of other stressors.

I still miss Bhuz and all the wonderful friends I have made on the board.

Shira still calls me once in a blue moon and we chit chat about this and that, thanks Shira!

Yes, I do miss performing, but I just cannot compete with dancers coming into restaurants now in the Boulder/Denver scene and DANCING FOR FREE!
I WILL NOT lower my price on bellygrams, etc.
So, lost alot of business.
Not worth the aggravation.

My students bring me much happiness, and my flamenco career has taken off. I absolutely love performing and am doing lots of flamenco performing.

I hope to have some time to pop in on the board once in a while.

I have many many happy memories and lots of fun posts that I remember. I'm also glad to see DAnidance is back on the board.

Hope to stick around for a bit.

Luv to all!
Maria

Hi Maria,

I'm so glad to hear you're Flamenco is rolling towards greatness.
Many of us miss you.

Do pop in every once in awhile. Dani came back.

Maria!!!! {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}

*picks you back up and brushes you off*

Thank you for the update, I really do miss you. Glad you're still teaching and flamenco-ing. And if the BD scene was that out of control and making you unhappy... well, I'm glad you found Flamenco.

I'm so happy to hear that they jailed that guy! Last I heard that wasn't the case -- I guess something else must have happened? Gosh I hate being out of the loop -- I know it's been a scary bit of hell for you, but it's the most dramatic cyber-stalker story I've ever heard.

Hi Maria, you've been missed.

I thought maybe Kevin the Clown had scared you away from belly dance! Please tell me that's not true, and I'll sleep a lot better. :)

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Maria!!!! {{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}

*picks you back up and brushes you off*

Thank you for the update, I really do miss you. Glad you're still teaching and flamenco-ing. And if the BD scene was that out of control and making you unhappy... well, I'm glad you found Flamenco.

I'm so happy to hear that they jailed that guy! Last I heard that wasn't the case -- I guess something else must have happened? Gosh I hate being out of the loop -- I know it's been a scary bit of hell for you, but it's the most dramatic cyber-stalker story I've ever heard.

Lauren, thanks for the picking up and brushing off! It's been a he$$ of a year! If it wasn't for flamenco I would have cracked I tell ya!
I will start on thread on "The Rest" to update ya'll.
Maria

Originally Posted by tamrahennatx

Hi Maria, you've been missed.

I thought maybe Kevin the Clown had scared you away from belly dance! Please tell me that's not true, and I'll sleep a lot better. :)

Pasha and I still talk about Kevin the Clown. TOO TOO funny.

I went to THTX and BAhaia's dance camp last October, had a BLAST!!!
For those of you thinking of going, YOU MUST.
I wanted to go with Pasha this year, but had no money.
I'm hoping to go next year, either the Tribal CAmp or the Cabaret Camp.

AH'HM! Ya'll are stealing Tribal Butterfly's thunderrrrrrr.

sorry, should have started new thread.
m.

Originally Posted by ozma

As an American of a certain age, "Porky's" represents to me a series of cheesey 80's sex comedies wherein pivotal scenes revolve around peeping in a girl's shower room.

..l;,..l;,..l;,

Once again... Ozma delivers.... (I pictured the movie too while reading T. Butterfly's post)

Emma, remember this.... IT'S A FORUM... You're going to let what strangers say on a message board rob you of your enjoyment of the dance? c'mon, you can't be serious. As said before, we've all disagreed and there's been drama, but that's the fun of it all. Don't take it so seriously..c::

I can really sympathize with you. Many times I ask myself why I don't quit either because I have lost count of the times I have had my feelings hurt, been ignored, overlooked, etc. In fact, there are so many negatives that have outweighed the positive, it's amazing I'm still here at all or even bellydancing period. But I can't give up the dance, partly because of itself it is in my sould and is now such a part of me it would be like giving up on my life. Also, when I think I should just chuck everything, something else opens up and my faith is restored for awhile. And while I have to say that I have met some very, very nasty and well, let's say unscrupulous people, there are others who definitely make it worthwhile. So take a time out and rethink your priorities. Nobody is worth you giving up something you love so much, just channel it differently.

Good luck to you!!