Thread: Um...I Need Some Advice on How to Deal

Around 3 years ago I was teaching through a studio where I allowed drop-in students. I had a particular student who I suspected may have had some kind of mental illness. Although she wasn't horribly distracting, she would never interact with the other students or even really pay attention to what I was teaching. She'd come to class and stand in the corner and do her own thing for an hour and leave. This sort of bugged me but I never made an issue of it. She also paid me late and usually in quarters. Towards the end of the last session she attended, I made it really clear to her that she needed to pay me on time and she never came back.

To this day, she still owes me around $25.00. I switched studios not long after that and I've not seen her for a long time, but I swear to god she just left me a voicemail today wanting to sign up for classes.
If this is her-- and I'm pretty sure it is-- I would rather not have her in class, and furthermore, dammit, she owes me money! Fortunately, I don't do drop-ins anymore, but I still don't want to deal with her

Am I being petty and lame? And how do I deal with this? Part of me just says don't send her any info (she doesn't have a phone) or tell her that the classes are full.......

I remember when you were dealing with this woman. Tell her there are no openings. (for her). Remind her she owes you money, that should scare her off again for awhile.

Sorry, I do have compassion for people with mental illnesses (my own level of sanity is variable on any given day, lol), but you don't need the headache and she needs more than belly dance classes to help her with her problems. Besides, weird behavior in class affects everyone in the class.

Thanks Dunyah :) I was thinking along those lines...... And you've pinpointed the crux of my problem with this woman. It's not that her (suspected) mental illness was a deal-breaker, so much as it was that in combination with not paying me. Like I can forgive one thing, in moderation, but not both, and not from the same person again.

You know, business is business and if she owes you $25 from the last time, then you need to let her know that if she wishes to join your class this time, then first of all she needs to pay the $25 she still owes you, prepay for the current session and it must not be in change!! And that all future payments will be timely in paid in a manner acceptable to you. That more than likely will stop her in her tracks, based upon your description of her.

Do you have a list of class rules/etiquette that you can give everyone also? I do this and any time any student has an obvious question/whine, I refer to the list and that puts a stop to it.

Good luck!

you have the right to refuse sevice to anyone just like a resturant. let the money thing go cause she has not metioned it. and just be honest and say you need to find another teacher. i don't feel that i am the teacher for you!

Oh I seriously sympathize! Are you sure this person doesn't have a twin? I have the same horrid student in my class.
Say firmly to her that you can no longer be her teacher and maybe refer her to someone else. But how could you inflict that horror on another?! Ah what to do? what to do? I think what Nadirah said was right on!

Originally Posted by eshtabellydance

Oh I seriously sympathize! Are you sure this person doesn't have a twin? I have the same horrid student in my class.
Say firmly to her that you can no longer be her teacher and maybe refer her to someone else. But how could you inflict that horror on another?! Ah what to do? what to do? I think what Nadirah said was right on!

Maybe she can find a teacher that understands her. lol. Different people interact differently.

I have a more compassionate point of view. You say you haven't seen her in a long time - what if she has gotten some kind of treatment and no longer behaves the way she used to? How will you know unless you at least communicate with her?

I suggest reminding her that she still owes you the money, and saying that she'll need to resolve that before you can consider accepting her into your current classes. The interaction you have with her as a result of this will give you some idea of whether she still has the same behavior issues or whether things have turned around due to treatment or other factors.

Originally Posted by *Shira*

I have a more compassionate point of view. You say you haven't seen her in a long time - what if she has gotten some kind of treatment and no longer behaves the way she used to? How will you know unless you at least communicate with her?

I suggest reminding her that she still owes you the money, and saying that she'll need to resolve that before you can consider accepting her into your current classes. The interaction you have with her as a result of this will give you some idea of whether she still has the same behavior issues or whether things have turned around due to treatment or other factors.

That's very true, Shira, and this advice-- along with everyone else's-- has given me somewhere to start. I'll use the owed funds as a testing ground and see what happens, though I'll have to do it by letter as she doesn't have a phone or email and wants me to send her class info. Thank you :)

I have to agree with Nadirah. You don't have to deal with anyone's problems if you don't want to and you don't have to put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. This lady isn't the only potential student out there.

I have had to deal with a very similar situation lately, with two different students. Alienating my other students, needing a lot of attention, always some excuse why they can't pay for class (after they've taken the class, of course). I actually just called one to remind her she owes me money! It's been a good lesson for me. I can be kind, but set firm boundaries. And that sometimes, if a student is destructive to the energy of the class, we have to send them on their way. It's so yucky, I know! I'm sorry you have to deal with this!