Thread: Diva students ??

I've been talking to a couple of other instructors about this. I think it's time for another of Amanda's famous "open letters":


Dear Diva:

Congratulations on your performance. You did well and I'm glad you had a good time. May I offer you some constructive criticism? Not about your dancing -- but about your "performance."

The workshop show was a great success. Everyone enjoyed themselves. Everyone did a nice job. But this was a night for Everyone. The whole evening did not revolve around you, even though you tried very hard to make it do so.

The backstage dressing rooms are for all dancers to use. You did not need to "claim" an entire (bench/table/30 quare foot circle) as your personal space. You did not need to have every possible bit of your makeup and hair styling product known to mankind littering the dressing area. You did not need to complain loudly about the lack of private dressing space, and then move your encampment to the handicap stall in the bathroom. Bathroom stalls are meant for using the bathroom, not spending 45 minutes changing clothes.

Nobody backstage volunteered to be your servant. Nobody backstage works for you and they are not obligated to find something you've misplaced or supply you with safety pins. There is no need to yell back and forth across the room, also. Everyone could hear you just fine without you screaming at them.

Some costumes are meant to be worn tight around the chest. There is no need to pretend to faint because you feel the costume is too tight or because you are too hot. You are also not going to slip into a diabetic coma or suffer dehydration from having to wait to use the water fountain.

Backstage at a show you will find performers of all experience levels. New performers are nervous. Energy levels and nerve levels for everone are pretty high. Nobody needs to hear you repeating over and over again how you're afraid you're going to screw up. Nobody needs to hear how you wished you had practiced more. Everyone else is dealing calmly with their own nervous energy. Do some yoga or deep breathing, and shut up before you upset more people.

The entire audience did not come to this event to see just you. You are not the headliner. Everyone backstage is here to perform also. Many of their friends and family members couldn't care less if you were performing or not. YOU are not the star. You do not need to have attitude with the other students. Yes you look cute in your costume, and yes you are dancing a solo, but that does not make you somehow superior to your classmates.

part 2



This was a bellydance workshop show, not a broadway production or the set of a Jerry Bruckheimer film. There is no craft service table backstage to feed you. Everyone else had dinner. Everyone else brought their own water bottles. What were you expecting, a buffet backstage?

The stage is what it is. Some are more run-down than others. This one was not the marble floor of the Taj Mahal, but was it that horrible? You acted as though we asked you to dance through a mine field, or as if you had to dodge large piles of cow dung. Yes there were seams in the carpet. Most dancers learn quickly how to step over the seams.

Until you pay out of your own pocket for a lighting technician, it is not necessary to complain about the lighting choices, or the brightness of the spotlights. ALL spotlights are bright. All lamps put off heat. The stage was no hotter for you, and no brighter for you, than it was for anyone else. Nobody else complained so loudly and lengthy about it.

You did your dance and you were happy. yay. But it is not necessary to run back and forth between the other performers and ask them to tell you how great you were. And nobody in the audience was crying or trying to worship you afterwards. Stop telling people that. It just makes you look silly.

You do not need to dismiss the other performers. Everyone did a good job. You were not "better than everyone else" -- so stop telling that to yourself and anyone else who would listen. And it is absolutely inappropriate for you to come up to ANY other student after a performance and tell her she really shouldn't be performing just yet. You have no business saying that to any of my students. You are not the teacher. It was not your decision.

Finally, now that you have one performance notch in your belt, you might want to consider working on another dance instead of resting on your laurels. And please stop giving other students advice about performing. You do not have the experience or the knowledge to dispense advice. You are not "a performer" -- you have simply "performed." ONCE. This does NOT qualify you as an expert.

In light of your inappropriate and disruptive behavior, you will not be invited back to dance at this event any time in the next decade. You could have shared a wonderful joyous bonding moment with women who WOULD have supported you, but you chose to feed your own ego and dismiss them, making the evening unpleasant and exhausting. I hope you enjoyed your performance that night because it will be the last one you do until you accept that the world isn't all about you.

Signed,
Your workshop host
(who is obviously SO threatened by your beauty and talent that she's boycotting you to make herself look better.)

I'm hoping that's a composite diva student, not what one individual has done at one show... ,m::

Composite.

But apparently one lady had a girl who fit about 80% of it. .w.:

I have one who is the instant expert because she did two performances, but I think I have her under control. But MAN I've seen how one person can make the entire backstage come completely unhinged!

Originally Posted by aziyade

Composite...

Phew, that's slightly less scary. But only slightly. Telling other students they shouldn't be performing is just jaw-droppingly out of order.

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,,m::..l;,..l;,.w.:
I can only hope that I am not guilty of this stuff. Come to think of it, I think that I did say over and over how nervous I was before my last one. I only defend myself by saying that the people I spoke with were pro's and I was really asking for advise on how to chill. Got some good tips. Now that I am done talking about ME....

There are those who will always only see themselves in the crowd. I do find it interesting that someone would claim that people were crying in the audience and wanting to worship her. I would be more scared that they were crying because my dancing was just that bad!

did "she" bring a family ...a BIG family from hell.a family who thinks they own the only camera? did this family bring a ton of flowers to present only to her?
(ok, this really happened here ) did the mothers tear down the yellow tape setting aside an area for handicapped to reach safely from their bus?
oh yes, the divas are bad.but 1 diva, is not as bad with out the blood fan club.

I am guilty of taking over space, but I don't mean to... I just kind of spread out to use whatever space is available (like a goldfish, lol), but I do at least attempt to keep it contained, and apologize and move crap when someone else comes near me!

Man, I hope no one ever thinks I'm a b****hy diva!

That's interesting - I've seen fellow students (when I was a baby belly) who had this diva-ness (or better than thou attitude) after their first solo and thought it was just self confidence. I feel enlightened!

WOW! That's crazy. I have never seen anyone behave quite that badly.

Did somebody really think there would be a free dinner provided backstage? LOL - if that were true, I'd perform more often.

Wow!

Holy crap. I'm really scared now. I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if someone was doing that down here.

You know, there's confidence and then there's ... obnoxious.

Telling another student "wow, I'm nervous." Is not obnoxious. Making a scene is obnoxious.

Diva = obnoxious. (In my dictionary, anyway.)

Moral of the story: don't be obnoxious. :)

Originally Posted by aziyade

I have one who is the instant expert because she did two performances,

Was it Fozzie Bear's sister? There's a line from the Muppet Movie as Fozzie pleads with the audience that is booing him: "I'm a professional! I've had three performances!!"

He's the muppet bear comedian equivalent of the six week wonder, but somehow much more adorable!

It seems to be spreading....
My "Diva" dances around while her fellow students are helping out setting up for the Hafla. Doesn't say it out loud, just LOOOOOKS at everyone else as if they can not compair!
Wow, how do you deal with ALL THAT? INSTANT STAR? Holy c**p is she in group numbers? You should watch her fellow students closely or you will be involved in an police investigation! (Lord knows you would like to kill her, how many others have made detailed plans?.w.:)
Not to highjack the thread but how do you other teachers deal with this? I tend to bring them down a bit with a nice placement in the back row until they chill but how do others handle this?

Wow. I've been a lucky, lucky bellydance teacher.

I should bring chocolate for all my students.

Originally Posted by faaria

It seems to be spreading....
My "Diva" dances around while her fellow students are helping out setting up for the Hafla. Doesn't say it out loud, just LOOOOOKS at everyone else as if they can not compair!
Wow, how do you deal with ALL THAT? INSTANT STAR? Holy c**p is she in group numbers? You should watch her fellow students closely or you will be involved in an police investigation! (Lord knows you would like to kill her, how many others have made detailed plans?.w.:)
Not to highjack the thread but how do you other teachers deal with this? I tend to bring them down a bit with a nice placement in the back row until they chill but how do others handle this?

If we're all setting up and someone thinks they're too good to help, they're told nicely that we'd appreciate the help. If they don't get it, a more direct approach of "We're all here to set up, you came to help set up. You need to give us a hand."

There are constructive ways to take someone down a notch without making them feel bad. Putting them in "the back row" seems passive aggressive to me, and would probably cause more harm than good in the long run. Talking to them directly, and letting them know they need to work with everyone else usually turns on a light inside their head. If they're too full of themselves to get a light turned on, taking them aside and talking to them privately normally does the trick.

I would have no quams removing an individual for bad behaviour at an event.

This is a composite phew ..
I bet we have all done something divaish in our time.Just one thing like arrive early and spread that kit out forgetting there are 12 more in the changing room.
But if someone is obnoxious and we've had a diva..who didn't play by the rules,bad attitude ,upset othe people..so no problem . It's oh so simple..byeeee

Blimey!! I'm going to buy champagne for my lot never mind chocolate...i don't think any of them has ever even come close to anything in this catalogue of horrors :o) but if one ever did turn up I would just stand back and wait... i have several students i suspect are skilled in the 'get over yourself girl' department ( in the nicest possible way of course ;o) )

Originally Posted by aziyade

[I]
The entire audience did not come to this event to see just you. You are not the headliner. Everyone backstage is here to perform also. Many of their friends and family members couldn't care less if you were performing or not. YOU are not the star. You do not need to have attitude with the other students. Yes you look cute in your costume, and yes you are dancing a solo, but that does not make you somehow superior to your classmates.

This letter was my gut-laugh for the day!

In all seriousness though this is the one I see persist to the advanced and even "professional" level...the belief some dancers have that everyone is there just to see their performance. Recently I witnessed a performance where the dancer got off stage, and then stood in front of other audience members to receive the loud and distracting accolades from her adoring family, while another dancer was on the stage. She didn't even acknowledge that it was another dancer's turn, she just kept going on about her nervousness, did she look ok, who exciting it was... Another dancer decided to go wayyyyyy beyond the time limit for her performance, because obviously those rules don't apply to divas, everyone wants to see more of them, right?

I think we all have met at least one of these people; in my experience it was a seasoned veteran though. You would think she would've learned by now.

I have been guilty of the nervousness part - I didn't realize I could be infecting others but now I will remember that. But to expect dinner? I've had a teacher who supplied water bottles and snacks but that was a real nice gesture on her part but who could eat dinner just before a performance anyway?

And I like the part about having the whole family there - then again, that attitude probably permeates other parts of that "performer's" life. Geez, get over yourself!!

In one show,we had a dancer who kicked a disabled audience member off his front row seat saying the seats in the front row were reserved for dancers only then proceeded to move her entire family retinue onto the aforesaid row!

Originally Posted by Lauren_

Wow. I've been a lucky, lucky bellydance teacher.

Me too!

In regards to the divas who are performing for the first time, I wonder if their teachers directly address the backstage conditions with them prior to the show. I know when I started performing, my teacher didn't and I was pretty surprised at having to change in public bathrooms and dusty back rooms occasionally (I was never a diva about it, I just was surprised). When my students started performing at haflas and shows, I was very upfront with them about how bare bones some of the dressing areas can be. I always treated it with good humor and the attitude of "earning your belly dance stripes", and they have all followed suit so far.

I've been lucky so far. Since I just began teaching this year, so still have not held my first hafla. I can say, I'm not looking forward to handling my first diva.

How about DIva-audience members at an all day performance stage? The ones who "save seats" for hours when there are crowds of other people standing around. Grrrrr.

I wore a column for a regional magazine recently entitled "What your Teacher Would Have Taught you had you Actually Had One". It covered a lot of ground. My point in writing it was my observation that a lot of folk have dVDs as primary instructor. Some actually turn out to be fairly good dancers-but really lousy members of the community.

One of my pet peeves (to continue the letter format):

A professional dancer makes it part of her business to support other dancers. Look around a show sometime and see what the headliner is doing: odds are pretty good that she's leading the clapping and greeting dancers with a compliment. When you have the knowledge and expertise of an internationally known instructor, then you can decide to stay in the dressing room and 'freak out'. Until then-move that booty to where you can see your sisters dance and ****ing zaghareet!

Originally Posted by lizajuk

In one show,we had a dancer who kicked a disabled audience member off his front row seat saying the seats in the front row were reserved for dancers only then proceeded to move her entire family retinue onto the aforesaid row!

Seriously???? Did she get reprimanded for it????

As the band runs fleeing from the hall with their gear away from the diva dancer aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!