Thread: Ever Had a Private Student Disappear?

Well, this is odd. ..c::

I had a woman start private lessons with me a few weeks ago, a total beginner, no dance experience. As per my policy, she paid for 6 classes up front, and I provided her with a copy of my refund policy, which is basically very limited refunds for the first two classes, nothing after the third. When we set up her lessons, I had told her that I was going to be out of town the first two weeks of August, so we would have 3 classes, have a 2 week break, then finish the last 3 classes after I came back.

She was very enthusiastic when I was in contact with her setting everything up, and continuted to be so while taking the first two classes. She bought a hip scarf, said she was practicing at home, wanted to buy some music, etc. This past week would have been the 3rd class, and she totally did not show - no call, nothing. I thought she may have had an emergency, so I called an left a message on her cell phone and sent her an email checking to make sure everything was okay. These are both ways I have sucessfully contacted her in the past with no problem. I still have heard nothing from her, even after leaving a second message a couple of days later.

I don't think she could have been confused about when the break started, because we specifically did the "see ya next week, one more class before the break" thing. I've taught quite a few students at this point, both privately and in group classes, and nothing about her set off my flako alarm. I'm wondering if I'll ever hear from her again, and if she'll have winded up paying almost $200 for 2 classes. ,f::

I don't have much concern when this happens in my park & rec classes - plenty of people take a class or two and then I never see them again (some even pay and never show for the class at all!). But it's weird for me with this person, especially since I have another potential student I could put in her spot if she's not coming back.

I'd hate to think the worst, but maybe she did have an emergency. If you've had no reply to a second cell message & second e-mail, is it possible to maybe find her name in the local phone book & try her land line? If she's been injured or something, I'm sure it would never even occur to her family to contact her dance instructor. Other family members & her employer, sure; but I know it certainly wouldn't occur to anyone in my life to inform my dance instructor.

could be on vacation. or, she could have changed her mind.

I have forfeited fees in the past which was far less important than the weight of any obligation when I couldn't deal with it.

Nothing you can do but wait - it sure wasn't anything you did I'm sure...she either changed her mind or got busy with real life.

I have had private students who were very enthusiastic, and then life just "got in the way". Sometimes it's family obligations, sometimes it's big demands at work, or sometimes a personal problem may crop up such as an impending divorce, an illness or death in the family, etc. Usually they let me know that they would be putting their classes on hold, but there are some people who, if they experience something traumatic, don't want to talk to anyone for awhile - even someone who has their money.

Also, some people get so embarrassed by no-showing, that they'd rather just "disappear" than to talk to the person they no-showed on. Weird, I know, but it seems to be the case.

One student said she had to stop because she was having some health problems, but didn't want her money back because she planned to resume when she got better. Finally about two years later she contacted me and said that she'd probably never be up to dancing again, so I gave her a refund. (She had pre-paid for several private lessons even though I don't require it, so this was the reason I felt she was entitled to a refund)

Things come up for people. It's more than likely not personal at all (I only say that because I know I have a tendency to wonder if I said or did something wrong in these situations...)

The thing that puzzles me is that she could get some of her money back though, if that was the case. Since she only took 2 lessons, she'd be getting about a hundred bucks back with my refund policy. She's a young-ish mom with two kids (wanted to take BD lessons to help get back in shape after having #2), so I'd presume she'd want the money - $100 isn't exactly a drop in the bucket.

Samirah, unfortunately, she has a very common last name; it's not Jones, but it's close. In our phone book, there are 3 pages of people with her last name! Also, I believe she lives with her boyfriend, so the land line may not even be in her name.

The second message was left on her voice mail only. If I don't hear from her by the week class is to start up again, I'll just send her another email stating that if she doesn't get back to me that week, I'll presume she's not coming back. I really would like to give her spot to someone on my waiting list, and that way I'll have documentation that I informed her of my intent. I'm not brining up the refund though - if she thought I was worth $100 and hour, I'm not going to argue.

Whoops, posted at the same time Lila did!

Originally Posted by laura 2

Samirah, unfortunately, she has a very common last name; it's not Jones, but it's close. In our phone book, there are 3 pages of people with her last name! Also, I believe she lives with her boyfriend, so the land line may not even be in her name.

I know how that is.... I'm a Smith. LOL

Originally Posted by laura 2

The thing that puzzles me is that she could get some of her money back though, if that was the case. Since she only took 2 lessons, she'd be getting about a hundred bucks back with my refund policy. She's a young-ish mom with two kids (wanted to take BD lessons to help get back in shape after having #2), so I'd presume she'd want the money - $100 isn't exactly a drop in the bucket.

<snip>

The second message was left on her voice mail only. If I don't hear from her by the week class is to start up again, I'll just send her another email stating that if she doesn't get back to me that week, I'll presume she's not coming back. I really would like to give her spot to someone on my waiting list, and that way I'll have documentation that I informed her of my intent. I'm not brining up the refund though - if she thought I was worth $100 and hour, I'm not going to argue.

Why not just email her with the full situation, as you posted here?

"Dear Dancer,

I missed you for our lesson on July X, and I'm sorry we haven't been able to connect since then. I hope all is well with you. I was looking forward to continuing our classes on August Y, but I'm concerned that I haven't received any response from you about the missed lesson (I emailed you and left you a message on your cell). Please contact me by August Z, otherwise I will need to make that slot available for other students. Thanks for your understanding, and I look forward to working with you again soon."

That's pretty much what my messages have said so far, except I haven't brought up giving her spot away yet. I will do that though, and I like the way you worded that part. Thanks!

Just an update that she finally responded to the final email message I sent, with the "I'm giving away your spot if I don't hear back from you" verbiage. I guess both of her kids have been sick, and she lost track of how long it had been since my original email. She's planning on being back at class this week.

The good thing about this experience is that I now have a written policy about lateness and absenteeism for private lessons. Thanks so much to everyone for their input!

So glad it worked out. Life does happen and I for one have also been guilty of losing track of time and/or been too overwhelmed to get back to people in a timely manner. ..c::