Thread: I created a true belly bunny...

..and it pains me.

Mainly, I consider myself quite uptight, and certainly on the prudish side when it comes to all things belly dance. The requirments I ask of my moving-to-pro dancers, my student teachers etc are far 'stricter' then norm out here, I try to start even my newbies and hobbyist dancers on the idea that there is more to bellydance then the wiggle and a pretty face and set of knockers.

Some of y'all may remember helping me through taking the decision to ask this dancer to leave. I knew even then that was gonna do nothing but get her away from affecting my studio with any of her actions. I knew she was going to go out and teach- when she lacks severely in knowledge anatomical and technical, let alone cultural-historical. I knew she would continue to perform, utilising uncircumspect behaviour. But it still bothers me. Unlike a lot of teacher's [out here] I try not to foster this impression that 6 months and a good personality a belly dancer doth make. How come I still ended up creating one?

Saddest thing? She had really good potential. But she never really took the time to drill and perfect things, rellying instead on the fact she was a socially-classicaly sexy woman- looking in the mirror never really provoked 'hmm, that hip drop needs a little tightning' so much as 'Oh, I am gorgeous doing that!'

More annoying right now-why won't she go away and get outta my hair? I accept she is going to indulge herself in what she wishes, her life choice and all, but can't she please just step away from my studio? Now she is harassing a quasi-relative [a long story involving exes] who does still dance with me to lend her my studio show DVD from last year.

Ordinarily, my feeling on people 'copying' ideas and choreography [if thats possible] is 'Mwegh.' I mean, I did it first. If you liked it that much you try to reuse it I am flattered, and I certainly can't be bothered to go all holy joe on it.

But, as background, she was already taking material from the classes she attended, and taking it straight to the student pool she had [without my knowledge] before I asked her to leave. It added to the hurt considerably. Now what? She has figured out she didn't know enough to sustain and is looking for more to skive?

She told me I was wrong and she could teach perfectly well, knew all there was, etc on her barely 2yrs exp. So go do it. Take all the responsibility of being a teacher- make up your own move combos, choreographies and lessons. Work hard. Stop looking for people to hand you their stuff so you can have the all-important glamour of teacher/pro without the butt ton of hard work that actually entails. Do the slog, take the knocks and all the other stuff the rest of us have to.

And please leave me and mine alone. I am persona non grata with you because I wouldn't let you do what you want and still get all the benifits of sheltering under my wing too. So please, go away.

Sorry, people, but needed to get that off my chest.

VENT AWAY!!!! I feel your pain!
I just want to be left alone as well with things like this, go do your thing whatever that is and get the heck out of my hair!

[QUOTE=Amira_Siddiqah;435197]..

She told me I was wrong and she could teach perfectly well, knew all there was, etc on her barely 2yrs exp. So go do it. Take all the responsibility of being a teacher- make up your own move combos, choreographies and lessons. Work hard. Stop looking for people to hand you their stuff so you can have the all-important glamour of teacher/pro without the butt ton of hard work that actually entails. Do the slog, take the knocks and all the other stuff the rest of us have to.

And please leave me and mine alone. I am persona non grata with you because I wouldn't let you do what you want and still get all the benifits of sheltering under my wing too. So please, go away.

QUOTE]


You need to say those last paragraphs to her.

Faaria, thanks.

Karis. Lol, yeah, I really do. I admit, I am loathe to re-open communications to this one, due to some very crazy stupid stuff from the time of me asking her to leave. Alas, she would and could never see that her behaviour in any way could have been deemed hurtful [rightly or wrongly] or that what she was doing had dubious ethics. Once she discovered I would [and will not] indulge in a Flame war with anyone, least of all student.. well, least said soonest mended, but she got really odd and, simply, would not go away. So copious blocking occured, that I would be loathe to undo. For the moment, I am going to continue to cower behind them.

However- if wind ever does reach me that her current quest succeeded, I will do it, because that would be the step too far for me.

What is a belly bunny? This term is new to me. I think of bellydancer/playboy bunny...???

Very well said Amira.

When it has been a way of life for others to give you things because you are pretty, it would feel alien and cause frustration (for themself...and others) when the expectation is work or leave.

For a teacher it can be difficult to encourage a dancer to set aside the security blanket of 'pretty' and work to redefine themselves as a dancer (who just happens to be pretty). Either way, it can get real ugly. Sorry you are going through this.


Icon needed for the perfect belly bunny.

You didn't create her. You were just her teacher for a while.

I think as long as you hold onto this thread of guilt that somehow her actions were ever under your control, it connects you to her and you'll continue to feel responsible for her behavior.

Her actions reflect on her, not you.

As far as the video -- was she in it? If so, her reasons for wanting it might be 'innocent.' But either way, since she has a quasi-relative (and almost certainly other acquaintances from class) who owns a copy she'll probably be able to borrow it.

Unfortunately our work is often out there on video and there's a potential downside to that. But controlling copies of the videos and trying to keep them from falling into the 'wrong hands' isn't possible, and it'll soothe your stress to let go of the whole thing. She'll do whatever she does, and you'll go on teaching and choreographing and creating.

@ Lauren. No, she wasn't. Otherwise I would be completely fine with her wanting it. Her relative wasn't either, so it isn't even 'family interest'.

As I say, usually I couldn't give two hoots, for all the reasons you say- its impossible and not worth stressing over. This one just hurts a little because it is so blatent what it is for.

On a more hillarious note, it is rather the same as my 'stalker' fellow teacher who, when I [honestly] ran out of stock of my 07 show, went through 5- 5, I swear- different channels over 9 months trying to get hold of a copy [obviously presumed I was lying. I wasn't. I only run stock for my studio- we are dinky, usually no one else cares, and costs come out of my pocket.]

I mean, I thought my girls were brilliant and all that, but it wasn't like it was George Clooney and Johnny Depp nekkid on ice. Lord knows what she wanted it so badly for?

Well, actually, I do know. She can make do with the bootleg photos she was taking from the upper gallery ' til my photographer told her to get her backside out of the good spot, bearing in mind I was paying him and not her :)

Some folks are wierd. I would have shown her what she wanted to know in about 5 min if she had asked- and in fact did so for the student she was trying to teach it to in the first place when the poor woman appealed for help!

If only the teaching community could get over this cloak and dagger stuff, it benifits no one and is terribly infantile.

Then the pigs will fly, eh?

Originally Posted by tink

Icon needed for the perfect belly bunny.

Wow, Amira. All I can say is your choreography must be stunning!!

Originally Posted by Amira_Siddiqah

I mean, I thought my girls were brilliant and all that, but it wasn't like it was George Clooney and Johnny Depp nekkid on ice.

This is what I love about the people on Bhuz. Even in the midst of very serious discussions, gems like this come out.

Good luck with the situation, Amira. I have no advice to offer or anything and don't mean to derail the thread...just wanted to let you know that quote made my day.

[QUOTE=Amira_Siddiqah;435724I mean, I thought my girls were brilliant and all that, but it wasn't like it was George Clooney and Johnny Depp nekkid on ice. [/QUOTE]

If it were, I would punch my grandmother to get at it...g.:

Lol- understand, if it HAD been the aforementioned hunks of manly goodness on iceskates, the whole bunch of you would have to get in line because I would be the one with the ringside seats!
/derail.

Ugh, Lauren. Frankly I don't think so myself, though I have the odd piece I feel really proud of. My sword style is very different to the local, though [different background and teacher to most here], and a move from that was what that one woman wanted. So instead of asking, taking on some quasi James-Bond cloak and dagger mission was the way to go :) The other one, it is simply because I was her teacher and, like, finding another local studio to skive ideas off would mean, like, ya'know, effort. Im just easy [but not quick or cheap :)]

Thanks for all the thoughts- even the depp related ones! Y'all have actually cheered me up over this [though that could have been the image of the aforementioned... :)]

It is sad when you try your best to stay out of things like this and they come find you!
Hope you feel better after the vent!
Just keep in mind that it just does not matter (annoying yes).
Just keep doing what you do and try not to stress the rest!

Originally Posted by emtink

..l;, It's so subtle.


(had posted response but it didn't show, trying again.)

Some women just have to throw their sexuality into it. Low self-esteem. I have had that a few times and if it the bad habits don't go away, the dancers usually do. Then they continue to think they are all that for a while. At some point, they don't get the "high" from dancing anymore and they move on to something else to botch up.

It is annoying and I know it stinks.

And belly-bunnies can be any age, any size, and any gender.

Oh ha...

Hate to resurect, but guess what I tripped over accidently today?

Madam's website for her new belly dancing studio. The need for a sudden interjection of someone else's creativity is revealed.

*eyeroll*

Ahh, a guilty (and evil) pleasure - enjoying the crappiness of the website of those who really deserve a crappy one. Does her website have phrases like: "The most sought after...internationally acclaimed...only authentic..."? Often an indication that the dancer is anything but.

Originally Posted by jewelbellydance

Ahh, a guilty (and evil) pleasure - enjoying the crappiness of the website of those who really deserve a crappy one. Does her website have phrases like: "The most sought after...internationally acclaimed...only authentic..."? Often an indication that the dancer is anything but.

What I want to know is whether it says : "protege of Amira" ?!?!?

:)

I told her straight when she left that I would be very obliged if she not mention my name in regard to her dancing, so I presume not.

Lol, I didn't really look- too stalker-esque for me, and, TBH, not interested enough. I do confess I flicked to the biography page, though.

In fairness, no international. Though national was claimed somewhat erroneously :) Not much one can say in 2 lines though, is there?

I have suprised myself in the 18 months since she hot tailed, honestly- bearing in mind I am not an easy rolling personality type , I usually gripe and hold on to things. But on this one, I am rather chuffed to say I feel nothing except a sad pang for bellydance having yet another inept purveyor of harem kitsch- same as I would if I had seen a bad ad somewhere or something. I seem to have gotten over any possible personal level stuff. I am quite proud, even though it is a silly small thing :)

EDT: On a much nicer note, I got the photos from our shoot back today, and the ones of my newest pro girl. I cannot believe how far she has come since she started with me and didn't even want to risk baring belly for a student recital. Squee!

I am continually amazed at dancers who, after a short time, think they can teach. I have been dancing/studying for five years, and the more I do it, the more I realize I don't know, that I have just barely hit pay dirt. You teachers are to be commended because what you are doing is hard work and very time consuming. Frankly, I don't think I'd be up to it for another five years.

Amira, I would be surprised though if most people did not associate what she does with you after they have seen what you are about. But I would be pretty disgusted myself.

However, as an aside, and this is not directed to anyone here, but when I created my first choreography, I was going to two different classes with two different teachers and they wanted to steal MY choreography!! Needless to say, that ended my instruction with them!

Originally Posted by SandraDances

Some women just have to throw their sexuality into it. Low self-esteem. I have had that a few times and if it the bad habits don't go away, the dancers usually do. Then they continue to think they are all that for a while. At some point, they don't get the "high" from dancing anymore and they move on to something else to botch up.

It is annoying and I know it stinks.

And belly-bunnies can be any age, any size, and any gender.

Dancing makes me feel "high" after a performance I though went well. Am I a "belly bunny" .w.:

Belly bunnys, at least how I use the tem, are the 6 week wonders, ones who have no interest in the dance, only how 'OMG Hawt Sexy' they are for doing it, with no respect for origin/history or even proper technicallity and execution.

I would say you are excused from being one :) Want a doctors note?

I know of a women who took ONE weekend workshop w/ one of my teachers and started her own classes, that was about 7-10 years ago. Now she is one of the "big" named dancers in the South That is to say she is quite successful. Of course this is how that teachers tells the story, I had not confirmed that story by asking. I think it is a good example of a Belly Bunny/Buisniss Women seeing what a lucrative exploit Bellydance can be and really running with it. If it is true that is.
Just though I'd share that story, I think it would be the ultimate stab in the ribs by a student.