Thread: charity gig demanding $$$!

I posted this and took it down because I'm always worried because Bhuz is searchable.

Basically my students and I were asked to do a charity show. I said yes. Then my band was added.

Today I get an email from the organizer

"Just to let you know we are asking everyone to donate at the door of the event, even I will be putting up my 20,000won. It's kind of a "no donation left behind" movement. hahaha.

So we ask that you and all your team as well as the band join in."

I was a bit ,m:: but composed this:

I respect what you're doing. My students and the band are already donating the biggest and best and most personal thing they can-their performance. They have invested in the event already (my students paid for makeup, costuming, music, rehearsal space, dance lessons, transportation, babysitting etc) so I don't imagine many of them will be donating. I will pass on your message of course but in the future perhaps you should make this clearer. My troupe and the band are more than willing to help out with a charity show attracting attendees, posting the show on facebook and personal websites, and entertaining guests once they are there but I don't think they would've signed up -actually I wouldn't have asked them- had I known they'd be requested to donate in addition to the donation of their performance. I hope you can understand that it's out of a respect for their art that I feel this way. Once again, I'll tell them they are welcome to make a donation but I'm not going to force them too.

It's okay. We still love you!

{{{HUGS}}}

They said
I don't want to go into all the details right now, but nobody has given more time, money and effort to this event and I will be paying the donation fee at the door like everyone else. All the other performance teams will be paying or have already paid in advance for all their members. I have been more than generous giving your team more time than other performers and having the band as well. I apologize for being late in mentioning it and will not "force" anyone to pay, but children will not be fed with dance performances or music. Children will be fed with the money that is generated by the event. I am sorry to hear that you feel that way, and I'm sorry that your performers will not open their pockets for our cause.

I don't want to have any bad feelings about this but I am somewhat disappointed.

And then:

I am sorry to say that I just talked with other organizers of this event and I don't think we can have you perform if you team does not donate like the others.

We have gone to extra expense to include you and the band. The extra sound equipment for your band is expensive. We have given you more time than other performers and the WellBeing Studio has yet to pay the Sponsor fee that other performers have paid.

Other belly dance teams have been turned down because you were already scheduled.
I am very disappointed that you put your performance and art over the other performers. We all have donated alot of time and money, we cannot make an exception in this case.

Should I leave it alone?

I half feel like someone like this does not deserve my time.

But half of me wants to educate him.

Whaddya think?

OMG! Wow! I am in disbelief reading this!!!!! WTF? I have to say that your email sounded very diplomatic and I think you *were* educating them already. Unfortunately it seems they were not able to grasp what you were trying to express. They may not get it the second time around either...

Wow, those people have some major cojones.

OMG! THAT IS SHOCKING! somepeople are SOOOO clueless...

oh, wow. I'm so sorry this whole thing is happening to you.

I wonder if anything you say can really educate them? I think I'd sleep on it for a day or two or even five before deciding.

This will be pretty clumsy -- I'm exhausted and on my way to bed. But if I were going to respond, it might go something like --

I'm really sad that this has turned out this way. Clearly we had very different perceptions of what was going on. My group and I are donating a performance we would normally charge $XXX for -- and giving up the opportunity to take a paying gig and earn money that evening -- to help you raise money. The band are also professionals and donating a performance worth $XXX. We are asked to perform for free all the time and only agree to a few charity performances per year, those we feel strongly about.

I thought you understood that our donation was real and valuable, it's very disheartening to learn that you placed no value on our donation and somehow thought that you were 'giving' us stage time rather than the other way around.

Obviously there's been a serious miscommunication. If I'd understood that you didn't value our performance, I might have simply attended and donated at the door. I'm sorry it ended this way. Good luck with your event.

Originally when he contacted me he asked if the studio would sponsor us. I said no from day 1 because the studio is 1 woman who is barely making the rent as it is. I explained that.

He said no problem.

He was adament that he wanted my band to play there as well.

And this big chunk of time he's talking about? 10 minutes each.

Lauren I'll probably need a whole month before I calm down enough. ;)

Originally Posted by Lauren_

I'm really sad that this has turned out this way. Clearly we had very different perceptions of what was going on. My group and I are donating a performance we would normally charge for -- and giving up the opportunity to take a paying gig and earn money that evening -- to help you raise money. The band are also professionals and donating a performance worth . We are asked to perform for free all the time and only agree to a few charity performances per year, those we feel strongly about.

I thought you understood that our donation was real and valuable, it's very disheartening to learn that you placed no value on our donation and somehow thought that you were 'giving' us stage time rather than the other way around.

Obviously there's been a serious miscommunication. If I'd understood that you didn't value our performance, I might have simply attended and donated at the door. I'm sorry it ended this way. Good luck with your event.

Well said.

I think Lauren's post is virtually perfect.

what lauren said!

also: is this charity for real or is the charity show a scam? its quite outrageous imo for the organizer to expect $ and a free show from you. don't let him guilt you into "pay for play" if that was not your original contract. quite a large oversight not to mention the "mandatory donation" imo.

perhaps tell him you understand his position, but you have also had extensive financial outlay for the show and can not do anymore. either they graciously accept your generous donation of performance or they can fill the slot with other performers. its way too late to modify the contract with such an outrageous term.

charity is good. charity is important. however, charity should not be imposed by last minute mandate via guilt :/

I have no words, other than to say that I think your original response was WAY more polite than I ever could have been. It has the distinct whiff of extortion to me - otherwise why would they not have told you about this up front?

It's a real charity. But last time we did a show with him...and I guess this should've been a warning he told everyone it was PWYC (pay what you can) but he suggested a $20 donation....And then at the last possible minute he told all the attendees that it was now $20.

And the show is on Sunday!!!

I can't believe he waited until now. But there's no way I can be a good example to my girls and go thru with this show now. I know they'll be super disappointed.

Thank you Lauren for your words-I've sent them to him

I agree with Lauren's post. I think letting them know the money you are missing out on/spent on their event makes it clear that you are not amatures who are begging for dance opportunities. This is in poor taste IMO. If all that was said was, "some performers are also donating money at the door as well as myself and if you or anyone in your troop would like to donate it would be well appriciated" then no big deal. But all of sudden making it a condition of performing for free is just outrageous.

I KNOW I wouldn't have been so polite when responding.

Originally Posted by Linnyg

I agree with Lauren's post. I think letting them know the money you are missing out on/spent on their event makes it clear that you are not amatures who are begging for dance opportunities. This is in poor taste IMO. If all that was said was, "some performers are also donating money at the door as well as myself and if you or anyone in your troop would like to donate it would be well appriciated" then no big deal. But all of sudden making it a condition of performing for free is just outrageous.

I KNOW I wouldn't have been so polite when responding.

Yes, I have had charities outline before "of course you don't have to pay but if you'd like to make a donation of course we'll take your money"

But this blew my mind

He just responded...

We value all the performances the same, not yours over others.
If you are professionals, then you should not complain about the
expenses of the performers.
If you really cared about the charities, you could afford to donate the 20,000won
at the personal level, as the other performers are doing.
I'm sorry that you value yourself and your time so much more than other people do.

I am also sorry it ended like this and wish you luck in the future.

I can't imagine how frustrated you must be, in light of the fact that you have experience creating, organizing, and running, very succesful charity events.

I know I probably don't get tagged for a few gigs here with a band we worked with (you remember) because when we had to make a stand about how we would not make people coming for us in specific mention it at the door so we could reach a certain number of participants or pay a fee...

I loved them as people, but every time I see a dancer working with them I wonder how much she had to shell out or pressure people.

You're doing the right thing, for yourself and your students.

Originally Posted by eshe

He just responded...

We value all the performances the same, not yours over others.
If you are professionals, then you should not complain about the
expenses of the performers.
If you really cared about the charities, you could afford to donate the 20,000won
at the personal level, as the other performers are doing.
I'm sorry that you value yourself and your time so much more than other people do.

I am also sorry it ended like this and wish you luck in the future.

Wanna send him links to press about your success in creating charity events and tell him to feel free to get ahold of you if he wants advice on how to more effienctly get money for charity while also showing the performers how you value them and their kind donation of time,skills, and profesionalism?

Originally Posted by eshe

you value yourself and your time so much more than other people do.

He says this like it's a bad thing! What a complete and utter tool. ,m::

Originally Posted by eshe

He just responded...

If you are professionals, then you should not complain about the
expenses of the performers. you didn't complain. you pointed out a valid fact.
If you really cared about the charities, you could afford to donate the 20,000won
caring about something and being able to afford something are 2 distinct issues. his comment sounds a lot like "if you really loved me you would..." you don't take trips with strange men. guilt or otherwise.
I'm sorry that you value yourself and your time so much more than other people do.
what? i'm sorry he doesn't seem to understand the magnitude and value of a donated professional group performance with live music.

some people will never understand the full value of a professional music and dance performance. some people are never satisfied with generous donations. its unfortunate when a worthy charity suffers at the hands of suboptimal administration.

Originally Posted by eshe

He just responded...

We value all the performances the same, not yours over others.
If you are professionals, then you should not complain about the
expenses of the performers.
If you really cared about the charities, you could afford to donate the 20,000won
at the personal level, as the other performers are doing.
I'm sorry that you value yourself and your time so much more than other people do.

I am also sorry it ended like this and wish you luck in the future.

Oh, eshe! This man is a complete JERK!!
Every time you think you've seen rock bottom...someone hands you a shovel. :P

Originally Posted by ozma

I can't imagine how frustrated you must be, in light of the fact that you have experience creating, organizing, and running, very succesful charity events.

I know I probably don't get tagged for a few gigs here with a band we worked with (you remember) because when we had to make a stand about how we would not make people coming for us in specific mention it at the door so we could reach a certain number of participants or pay a fee...

I loved them as people, but every time I see a dancer working with them I wonder how much she had to shell out or pressure people.

You're doing the right thing, for yourself and your students.

Wanna send him links to press about your success in creating charity events and tell him to feel free to get ahold of you if he wants advice on how to more effienctly get money for charity while also showing the performers how you value them and their kind donation of time,skills, and profesionalism?

I'm so crazily overwhelmed at his rudeness. ..c::

Perhaps this was put in my path to make me appreciate even more well-run charity shows or festival organizers...or to make me a better organizer?

I don't think he would read anything I sent him...

What an arrogant ass!!! I do hope for the sake of other artists that word of mouth gets around about how he is treating his entertainers, I'm betting you may not be the only one having this issue with him.

What?!!!
He just sent me this:

I apologize this is a big misunderstanding with the organizers of the event.
If you still wish to play we will not require that you or your performers pay at the door.
If you do not wish to perform I also understand and accept the fault.

Originally Posted by eshe

What?!!!
He just sent me this:

I apologize this is a big misunderstanding with the organizers of the event.
If you still wish to play we will not require that you or your performers pay at the door.
If you do not wish to perform I also understand and accept the fault.

Sounds like somebody got their ass kicked by the other organizers

Still, i'm not sure i'd accept to do it, despite this. maybe talk to your dance group, let them have their say in whether they want to go ahead with it despite the whole issue you went through, or not

Sounds as if all the other performers told him the same things that you did, so maybe he's left with no show now?

Originally Posted by eshe

What?!!!
He just sent me this:

I apologize this is a big misunderstanding with the organizers of the event.
If you still wish to play we will not require that you or your performers pay at the door.
If you do not wish to perform I also understand and accept the fault.

And now his wife just called and begged me to dance.
She said sorry for him.

Originally Posted by Kathiya

Sounds like somebody got their ass kicked by the other organizers

Still, i'm not sure i'd accept to do it, despite this. maybe talk to your dance group, let them have their say in whether they want to go ahead with it despite the whole issue you went through, or not

Yes, I'm going to talk to them and see how they feel.
My heart is not really in it anymore to be honest.
But it's about the charity and not me.