Thread: I think I'm ready to quit teaching and dancing.

It's been so frustrating to me lately. Those of you who know me, I'm a performer. I absolutely love dancing to a band. But, circumstances required me to retire OMG!!!!!! 10 years ago. I gave dancing a hiatus, then started into teaching. Unfortunately, due to my "Real day job" duties, I never had the time to explore teaching on my own the way I would like to teach plus I didn't have a space to teach without incurring costs. Cost without students.

So when the belly dance craze explode in the early 21st century, I hooked up with a fitness group that really loved BD and advertised it and promoted it etc. in a way that I was happy with and I attracted good quality students.

But with the economy tanking this organization is getting more desperate to attract students. What is sad is my last few classes have been outstanding and I've gotten great students who want to continue.

So what happened? Now this org has me scheduled to teach 2 classes the same night and tim in 2 different communities. The class that I have nurtured and grown students has been moved to a different part of the county that is so far away from the original class that my students have already stated they won't go. The new class is much closer to the original location so technically my gang could transfer there but the new location has 5 week classes whereas previously I had 10 week classe. My gang just performed their first solo! How can I ask them to sign up for a 5 week class of total newbies!

Sigh. Anyway, I'm so busy with my new professional career I just think it's time I say good-bye to dancing. I dont' have time to start my own classes to teach the way I would like to to. Plus the dancing environment is so changed- more staged performances vs. live improve.

It's just not like it used to be.

It sounds like you've taken a few hard knocks that have left you exasperated and ready to chuck the towel in. But is there leeway for you to take a temporary step back and give it some more thought? Leave your options open while you have some breathing space? It sounds like you have some really positive things - namely, enthusiastic students. There may yet be a way to make things work for you, but you might not see it or want to pursue it amidst the current stresses.

I'm suggesting this as an alternative because I once had the same said to me, and it was good advice. I was ready to chuck my professional job in because I was near breakdown point. I was about to give notice and buggar the consequences. But the councillor suggested I take leave instead. It was good advice, because it gave me thinking space, time to recover and work out the best option unhindered by my current stress.

Originally Posted by jewelbellydance

It sounds like you've taken a few hard knocks that have left you exasperated and ready to chuck the towel in. But is there leeway for you to take a temporary step back and give it some more thought? Leave your options open while you have some breathing space? It sounds like you have some really positive things - namely, enthusiastic students. There may yet be a way to make things work for you, but you might not see it or want to pursue it amidst the current stresses.

I'm suggesting this as an alternative because I once had the same said to me, and it was good advice. I was ready to chuck my professional job in because I was near breakdown point. I was about to give notice and buggar the consequences. But the councillor suggested I take leave instead. It was good advice, because it gave me thinking space, time to recover and work out the best option unhindered by my current stress.

this, because it also sounds like you really love doing it, and it would suck to loose that from your life all together.
good luck! and.... where's the hot tub?

I agree, take time to really think about things. I've been in this same place, and my supporters asked me to give it a little more time. My dancers were willing to be flexible about classes.

It might be as simple as talking with your gang. My group has been so supportive, and they want to dance so much... they have helped me durring the rough spots.

Think about working with the class time you have. Maybe you could block out time to start new things for your established gang and still teach the newbies the basics.

Step back a moment, breath, and focus on what makes it all worth it. Take care and I wish you the best!

Life moves forward and that's okay. I think it is cool to go with it if it feels like the right thing to do. That being said, I'm sure you'll be missed in a big way by your students. I do hope you'll keep sharing here on bhuz from time to time though, which ever path you choose. I love the stuff you share and post.

Sent you a pm. Hugs

It doesn't sound to me as if you WANT to, rather that you feel circumstances have pushed you into a really untenable corner. If I were you I'd look at what time you want to make available and see what kind of compromise you can negotiate.

If your keen students won't go to the new venue then the organisation is losing their money. It should work with you...

Originally Posted by zumarrad

It doesn't sound to me as if you WANT to, rather that you feel circumstances have pushed you into a really untenable corner. If I were you I'd look at what time you want to make available and see what kind of compromise you can negotiate.

If your keen students won't go to the new venue then the organisation is losing their money. It should work with you...

It's crazy.A couple years ago, they tried to move my FH class out in this area, not just mine but all the fitness classes. It is a very busy, high traffic area at the edge of the city. Everyone complained how difficult it was to travel there so the moved the classes back to a quiter part of town. So why they would go there again baffles me. It's quite a distance for me to go.

So I'm encouraging my students to sign up at the other location which is in a neighboring city. At a senior center no less. Sigh. I'm committed to teaching for the fall so I'll make the best of it for now.

Thanks Sabrina for you lovely p.m.
I think part of the problem is that all the things that I loved about dancing just don't exist anymore. I can't even take my students to a show to see a live dancer.

Originally Posted by norma

...So I'm encouraging my students to sign up at the other location which is in a neighboring city. At a senior center no less. Sigh. I'm committed to teaching for the fall so I'll make the best of it for now.

I'm sure some of your students will follow. I DO hope things work out after the fall for you.

Originally Posted by norma

I think part of the problem is that all the things that I loved about dancing just don't exist anymore. I can't even take my students to a show to see a live dancer.

To me, it's dancers like you to make it so it DOES still exist and helps future generations of dancers understand all this dance has to offer and to look for more than slick stage shows with choreography. The dance is richer because of you and the few like you.
Yasmin wrote this article a few years ago
Yasmin Dinosaur
and many, many people are grateful she shares her knowledge and experience.
Life paths take us in surprising, unplanned on directions, sometimes. Sometimes we don't know the direction the path is taking until we're on it. I DO hope your path continues to include dance- you enrich those around you and dance obviously brings you happiness.

Originally Posted by SamiraShuruk

To me, it's dancers like you to make it so it DOES still exist and helps future generations of dancers understand all this dance has to offer and to look for more than slick stage shows with choreography. The dance is richer because of you and the few like you.

Yes. THIS.

Norma, I'm getting pretty frustrated by the trend of over-choreographed, cheerleader-esque belly dance performances. Then, I watch clips of dancers like you performing your relaxed, soulful improv and I'm reminded of why I fell in love with belly dance in the first place.

Whether or not you feel this way right now, you are keeping our beautiful art alive. And we love and admire you for it.

You know what Norma, you shouldn't give up something that truely moves you. Maybe just not make it a job and make it more personal. Get back to like it was in the beginning. You danced b/c you like it. Take workshops and dance FOR YOU.
I quit dancing about 8 years ago and I dance for myself b/c it makes me happy. I don't dance in restaurants, I don't dance in public, I don't dance for anyone or anything but ME!! I dance b/c it makes me happy.

When I see an instructor coming who interests me, I go and take the workshop and watch the show later that evening. It fulfills my dance needs and I'm SUPER content with dance that way. Maybe that's what you need. Toss in the towel on the professional side and come back to the personal side.
You are sooooo full of information and there is the avenue of writing about dance to consider. I hate to think of all your knowledge going to waste.

I agree with satin and samira, you have something unique and special to share that should not be lost

OMG! Take workshops! That is part of the problem! I've taken some from the best like Dina. And felt like a complete dinasour. Dancing is SO different from what I know. It is just too much choreo and western dance moves that I can't relate. Trust me, if you saw me in a "master class", you'd think I was a frickin' amateur. I don't know how to chance le passe and do a doblee turn. (I'm making up terms here.) I learned how to learn and interpret the music. Specific steps and form weren't important. Feeling the music was.

Right now, the avenue of teaching I am isn't right for me. I have more to offer than teaching a 5 week beginner class for a group of housewifes that just want to do an hour of exercise than forget about it until next week.

It's so frustrating, everytime I develop a good student life interferes, she gets married, gets a job, has a baby, has a class, etc. I mean it's life, so that is expected. Most people don't plan on belly dancing as a career. I'm okay with that. But jeez, if you are interested enough to take the class, why not put in the effort to learn and practice??

My teacher once told me how frustrated she used to get with her students. She told me, only once in a decade, did she get a student that she felt has potential to become a professional dancer. Once in a decade and she's been teaching for almost 50 years.

Maybe I just need to find a different avenue. I would love to do workshops and seminars but I don't think I can commit the time. Plus how can I compete with big names like the BDSS?

I would like to mentor to a serious student interested in performing. But those students aren't exactly easy to come by. You almost have to nurture them from the ground up. Which is why I started teaching in the first place, only to discover, that most people just don't give a damn!

I hear ya.

But don't give up. It sounds like dance is too important to you and too much a part of your life.

For me, having a few students who are really special makes it possible to do the classes for people who are looking to get skinny overnight and/or who think it's easy, whatever.

As far as all the Western dance moves, choreographed routines etc - oy. It's totally foreign to me and also, the art is supposed to be improvisational, it's part of the form of the music itself.

This is a huge frustration for me, because I've encountered so many students who want a choreographed routine and/or a routine that they all do in unison.

I don't know what to do about that other than stick to my guns, which has been costly in a lot of ways. But, a few of the students "get it" and they've become my babies, it's a thrill to see them develop and I know they'll be dancing when I'm gone.

Maybe that's what it is, just the gift of being able to pass something along. That's huge really when you think about it; plus, I don't know you but you've touched me and that means a lot don't you think?

Hang in there!..g.:

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling frustrated.

Sabrina you inbox is full!

Originally Posted by norma

Right now, the avenue of teaching I am isn't right for me. I have more to offer than teaching a 5 week beginner class for a group of housewifes that just want to do an hour of exercise than forget about it until next week.

It's so frustrating, everytime I develop a good student life interferes, she gets married, gets a job, has a baby, has a class, etc. I mean it's life, so that is expected. Most people don't plan on belly dancing as a career. I'm okay with that. But jeez, if you are interested enough to take the class, why not put in the effort to learn and practice??

My teacher once told me how frustrated she used to get with her students. She told me, only once in a decade, did she get a student that she felt has potential to become a professional dancer. Once in a decade and she's been teaching for almost 50 years.

Maybe I just need to find a different avenue. I would love to do workshops and seminars but I don't think I can commit the time. Plus how can I compete with big names like the BDSS?

I would like to mentor to a serious student interested in performing. But those students aren't exactly easy to come by. You almost have to nurture them from the ground up. Which is why I started teaching in the first place, only to discover, that most people just don't give a damn!

YES! Oh, this is my heartfelt lament- & I often wonder if I can keep dancing long enough to find someone who I can really pass my life work to! Once every 10 years, huh? I guess that means 1- there is hope & 2- I need to keep dancing!

I have found recently that it is more financially viable for me to do monthly workshops than weekly classes (doing both for now!) and I get the added benefit of passing on some of my more advanced techniques & ideas. I am also trying to organize new dancer sponsored venues so we don't have to rely on restaurants for our bread & butter or haflas for performance outlets- daunting, but I know it's either develop something new locally or burn out with the same-old-same-old. I also have a couple students who refuse to let me 'retire'- even if it means hiring me to teach small groups in the back room of her shop- Are any of your currents students dedicated enough to help you find a more reasonable space? Are you able to contract for private lessons with dedicated dancers?

I hope you can find something to reinvigorate you, whether that means finding a new avenue of working with dance, or just stepping back for a little while. I know I've tried to quit in the past but can't stay away completely for long!

I wonder if it would help your morale to look at your non-pro-track students differently.

The vast majority of students of any art form (ballet, clarinet, drawing, whatever) are not in it to become pros. And that's not even counting the ones who give it a try and decide it's not for them. (Which is a fair decision to make; nothing is for everyone.) There are just more hobbyists in the world.

I definitely understand the desire to pass the torch on to someone someday, but don't think that you've wasted your time on the others. Even if you only have a student for a year, you've enriched her life in many ways. At a bare minimum, you've probably given her the only hour of her week where people aren't expecting things from her, and her self-esteem isn't under attack. That's a really valuable thing.

And even if they don't stay in the belly dance community, these students are good for all of us. The person you send back into the world is going to be a better advocate for belly dance than when she came in.

Norma, I don't think you're tired of dancing. I think you're tired of being jerked around by the facility where you're teaching, you're tired of students who don't know the difference between art and once-a-week exercise, and you miss the old days when the dance was more organic and less commercialized/commodified/plasticized. You want aged cheddar, and people keep offering you Velveeta.

The sad thing is that for all the thrashing around about Michigan Central Station and who owns the Packard plant so somebody can tear it down, people don't seem to notice what else Detroit is losing. The old club scene was something that was really special. There really isn't anywhere else in the country that had the unique synergy between the various Mediterranean immigrant communities that Detroit had, and there have to be more people who miss that and want to keep it alive. I have a few specific ideas, so I'll PM them to you.

It would be a shame for you to stop teaching if you want to keep dancing and you have students who want to continue working with you. The venue where you're at now doesn't seem to understand your situation very well, and maybe if you meet with someone higher up in the food chain, you can explain that their constant schedule juggling isn't good for their business or yours. Otherwise, perhaps there is another dance, yoga, or karate studio in the area that you could lease a few hours a week at. If you do decide to stop teaching regular classes, at least please give your students referrals to other dancers in town. It would leave a bad taste in my mouth as a student if my teacher walked away and left me to fend for myself.

Originally Posted by Tourbeau

and you miss the old days when the dance was more organic and less commercialized/commodified/plasticized. You want aged cheddar, and people keep offering you Velveeta.

Honestly, I think a lot of dancers out there are feeling burned out on this trend. Many of us are wanting more out of our dance experience. We're yearning for a deeper connection to our music and for a more expressive and relaxed style of movement onstage. I sure am.

I wouldn't understimate the possibility of a serious backlash these next couple of years - that is, if the backlash hasn't already begun.

It is a very complicated issue. I have a few students who really want to learn...but they want it to be easy. I have an hour commute every day to work and I typically have to communte an extra 15-30 minutes to my class.

Yet, almost without exception, (remember I'm teaching through a community education program), every student balks if they have to travel more than 15 minutes to a class. Most balk if it is more than 5!!!!!

Now when I started dancing, you just went to where the teacher was. Even if she was 2 hours away. That takes dedication and commitment. I just don't see that anymore. All I see is "what is easy for me!"

..cr.:..cr.:..cr.: with you, Norma.

Deborah

PS: I'm with Tourbeau on this one: I think you love teaching and dancing and you don't want to stop, but you do want to stop being jerked around. ,m::

Originally Posted by jmdruadh

I wonder if it would help your morale to look at your non-pro-track students differently.

The vast majority of students of any art form (ballet, clarinet, drawing, whatever) are not in it to become pros. And that's not even counting the ones who give it a try and decide it's not for them. (Which is a fair decision to make; nothing is for everyone.) There are just more hobbyists in the world.

I definitely understand the desire to pass the torch on to someone someday, but don't think that you've wasted your time on the others. Even if you only have a student for a year, you've enriched her life in many ways. At a bare minimum, you've probably given her the only hour of her week where people aren't expecting things from her, and her self-esteem isn't under attack. That's a really valuable thing.

And even if they don't stay in the belly dance community, these students are good for all of us. The person you send back into the world is going to be a better advocate for belly dance than when she came in.

Well that is something to think about. And it's true, I've definately seen how belly dancing as affected many of my students lives even if they only took 1 session. It's interesting how just making the decision to take a belly dance class is so empowering to so many women.

However, it's not what I envisioned when I got into teaching. I was lucky in my experience where for the majority of my student career, the majority of students I studied with ended up as professional dancers and many moved on to teaching. I'm used to that caliber of student.

It's disappointing and frustrating to see that the majority of students out there now just want there 1 hour a week and don't care to practice in between. They have no interest in becoming a dancer.

And I really think the decline in clubs and the fact that there is no opportunity for them to see a live belly dancing show feeds into this. Where is the incentive to want to learn and strive and be good? For pros, the incentive comes from within, but for the average student??? They just want fun and exercise. Fine, I can do that. But after a while, it just plain bores me. I'm using the nail of my pinky finger and the rest of my hands and feet are sitting idle. And my beginner classes are pretty hard core. They ain't easy. But it's still beginner.

Originally Posted by norma

However, it's not what I envisioned when I got into teaching. I was lucky in my experience where for the majority of my student career, the majority of students I studied with ended up as professional dancers and many moved on to teaching. I'm used to that caliber of student.

It's disappointing and frustrating to see that the majority of students out there now just want there 1 hour a week and don't care to practice in between. They have no interest in becoming a dancer.

Ditto to this!

Growing up around dancers who wanted to become dancers. They worked hours outside of class, learning new things.

Now, for every 10 students I have in class... maybe one will want to go up a level. Out of every few that go up a level... maybe one wants to learn to really dance.

I almost quit this year, because of the same things you are talking about here. I am so glad I did not. I'm going to push ahead and keep dancing/teaching. I do feel your frustration, but if it lights you up... don't give it up!

Originally Posted by norma

And I really think the decline in clubs and the fact that there is no opportunity for them to see a live belly dancing show feeds into this. Where is the incentive to want to learn and strive and be good?

Hmm... I'll bet you're right about that. I saw my first show (a hafla with a live band and some really good dancers) sometime around my 12th lesson. I fell in love at my first lesson, but that show was what made me think "wow, I want to be that good someday".

Also, my primary teacher held recitals twice a year and encouraged everybody to participate, even the beginners. It was a lot of work for her (which is why she scaled back to annual a few years ago), but having something to work towards made us feel more invested. It also gave us (me, at least) the performance bug, and drilled some of the basic performance rules (no visible underpants, wear a coverup, etc.) into us early on.

You know, Norma, it's OK to take a break once in a while and see if things align themselves more conveniently. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing". I know sometimes it feels like that, but this could just be a temporary situation.

Originally Posted by norma

Sigh. Anyway, I'm so busy with my new professional career I just think it's time I say good-bye to dancing. I dont' have time to start my own classes to teach the way I would like to to. Plus the dancing environment is so changed- more staged performances vs. live improve.

It's just not like it used to be.

Hi Norma, I sent you a pm

Norma, impossible that you give up dancing!

don't give up, people get tired of overchoreographed slick dances anyways. I think it is too early and your experience to dance live and from the heart is worth gold. If you can't produce it live you aint worth sh..

Sigh. Thanks for all the support. It may just be a case of I'm overburned and stressed out. I love dancing, I really do. But all the things I love about have disappeared. I loved performing but before I turned 40 my performing venues ended. Remember I'm in Detroit, with a big middle eastern influence. Other than haflas, the only real venues for performance are clubs (which are non-existent almost) or weddings/parties. (Unless you want to do American gigs which I don't.)

People don't want to hire a dancer that is their mother's age! They go for youth and looks. Dancing ability used to matter but not so much lately. The clubs established good quality dancers. Now that the clubs are gone, anyone who looks good, puts on a costume and can do a few moves can get hired.

Even many of the pro dancers left aren't doing solo gigs anymore. No one wants to hire a solo dancer. They want more bang for their buck so they are going for duets or troupes for some occasions. That's fine but it isn't me.

I have choreographed for groups before and it's a royal pain in the ass when you have to deal with diva personalities that have minimal dance abilities.

I'm always dealing with the lowest common demoninator.

Ideally, I would like to just mentor and train either intermediate or advanced students who are interested in performing.

But they ain't easy to come by.

I do like the excitement of the newbie dancer but all too often that excitement wanes when they discover that work is involved.

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Honestly, I think a lot of dancers out there are feeling burned out on this trend. Many of us are wanting more out of our dance experience. We're yearning for a deeper connection to our music and for a more expressive and relaxed style of movement onstage. I sure am.

I wouldn't understimate the possibility of a serious backlash these next couple of years - that is, if the backlash hasn't already begun.

Thanks! I just watched a clip on another thread requesting a music id and I was like, WTF? This is a belly dance competition? It looks like lyrical to me. I'm really getting tired of so much western infusion and influence. It's draining and killing the dance of all that made it unique and vibrant.