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WOW!!!!!!!!!

I'll be waiting to hear responses on this one.

Gosh that is rather cheeky. Recently one of my instructors had a student suggest she try on a costume of hers to see if the style suited her. My instructor just smiled and said 'Sorry, I have a policy to not lend or allow try ons, as costumes are expensive and I have worked on them to fit me personally, If I damage them or have any beads etc fall off then I am responsible, if someone else damages them then they would be paying for that damage, so the easiest way to prevent any hard feelings from anyone is to have my no policy'. Then she just moved onto another subject. I also have a 'no' policy.

Originally Posted by Mosaika

Gosh that is rather cheeky. Recently one of my instructors had a student suggest she try on a costume of hers to see if the style suited her. My instructor just smiled and said 'Sorry, I have a policy to not lend or allow try ons, as costumes are expensive and I have worked on them to fit me personally, If I damage them or have any beads etc fall off then I am responsible, if someone else damages them then they would be paying for that damage, so the easiest way to prevent any hard feelings from anyone is to have my no policy'. Then she just moved onto another subject. I also have a 'no' policy.

Good way to handle it.

Even if they are "just for pictures" you don't know if those photos will be in a studio or outside in the rain laying on rocks... Unless you have a cheapie workhorse airport special that you don't really wear anyway, I would also say no.

I let a local school borrow some of my veils to tie around children sari style for a world dance day and one of my silk veils came back cut in half!!! I asked the adult in charge and her reply was that they needed just one more for a child so they cut one. I couldn't believe it. And why they would find my most expensive veil to destroy is beyond me. I was spitting mad about it and demanded $50 to replace it. The lady was astonished that they cost that much and reluctantly bought me a new one.

After that experience I will NEVER loan out any of my costumes or costume parts that I care about; not even to help cute little kids.

The stupidest thing about it is that the kids all got a long lecture about being careful with other people's things. Looks like the director could have listened to her own advise

It happened to my friend. It was not a student, it was another dancer, that she doesn't even know very well. My friend replied: "No, because people will see this costume, and next time I wear it people will think it was me who borrowed it from you!".

"I'm sorry. I don't lend out costumes. I know a few people selling costumes, but that's about as much help as I can be."

I asked the adult in charge and her reply was that they needed just one more for a child so they cut one. I couldn't believe it. And why they would find my most expensive veil to destroy is beyond me.

*is aghast*

I would also say no and you don't even need an explanation. No is the answer. (I don't lend out clothing and I don't borrow it in mundane settings either - it doesn't feel right, if I borrow someone else's thing I'm in terror of damaging it, and few of my friends and I would be the same size anyway).

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Wow... that's a ballsy request.
I would definitely say no, they are too expensive. Is it possible she doesn't know how expensive they are?
Give her a website to go to like the Bellydance Store and then she can get one for herself that fits her price range.
Unless you have one you want to sell her,

I learned the hard way that loaned items often become damaged because a lot of people simply don't bother taking care of the things they borrow. Or, after borrowing an item a student vanishes into thin air, and I never see either her or my costume again.

Therefore, I'm very, very picky about loaning stuff. I do have some pieces that I'm willing to loan students for performances, but I take the items to the performance myself, and collect them as soon as it's over.

There are occasionally students who earn my trust over time through responsible behavior whom I will let take a borrowed item home with them. But I'm very picky about whom I'll trust in this way.

hey, even a so called seasond dancer did not get it...like you want someone's perfume etc....that dancer we speak of out of sac.ca....was on a week cruise with me...actually, we were just on the same ship.....she did not know about talent night. i did, came prepared. we had to draw #s, i lost ..she got in, but no costume,music so they bumped her...she did not speak to me the rest of the week.
she got in my face TELLING me i was going to let her use them!!!!!!

I have lent stuff to other people and personally have never had a problem. Never a student. I am actually teaching now and would help them out with peices for a show but not a full costume. And not for a photo op for a dude.

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Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

Thanks ladies. I am not going to lend her any of my costumes. I don't lend my costumes to anyone. I was surprised that she asked.

What is a nicer why of saying this isn't about playing dress up?

If you don't lend out your costumes, I think that's sufficient.

Are you hoping to convince her not to do photos like that period, though?

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

Thanks ladies. I am not going to lend her any of my costumes. I don't lend my costumes to anyone. I was surprised that she asked.

What is a nicer why of saying this isn't about playing dress up?

"These are not really costumes. Costumes are for Halloween. These are the tools of my trade, and they are both expensive and personally adapted to how I work. They are my armor, my stage, the physical manifestation of my art. Hands off, junior."

Is that nice enough?

Ask her for a $500 cash deposit.

Realistically, I have loaned costumes to people in the past, but generally people I know really well for specific events. Have never had a problem. But a random student for a photo shoot? No.

And no is a perfectly legitimate answer. Or no, I'm sorry, I don't loan out costumes. Or, sure, but I need a $500 cash deposit when you pick up the costume.

{{{HUGS}}}

I was in an ethnic fair once and a couple of teens came up to me after a performance and asked if I rented out my costumes. I told them I had at least a grand invested in just the one I had on, so....that would be a "no".

Is she really young? I was in a shop a few days ago and was really surprised to see two teenagers popping on the jewellery and a hat and taking photos of themselves (doing 'the duck face').....if she's young she probably just genuinely isn't aware of how expensive costumes are and how these are your 'work clothes'. Say no but use it as a nice way of educating her if possible.

Originally Posted by maurazebra

"These are not really costumes. Costumes are for Halloween. These are the tools of my trade, and they are both expensive and personally adapted to how I work. They are my armor, my stage, the physical manifestation of my art. Hands off, junior."

Is that nice enough?

nicely put. thank you. :-)

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

Thanks ladies. I am not going to lend her any of my costumes. I don't lend my costumes to anyone. I was surprised that she asked.

What is a nicer why of saying this isn't about playing dress up?

"A professional costume is a serious investment. I would be happy to walk you through the process of finding your own that suits you."
My guess is she really doesn't know that it IS an investment.

I have loaned out hip scarves and cholis and practice veils for student performances & haflas, I also have a set of chiffon skirts I keep for student performances (beats making each year's beginning students buying something every year, tho advanced students are expected to build their wardrobe) and calculate all of it as a teaching expense- but a pro costume? Never.

Originally Posted by *Shira*

I learned the hard way that loaned items often become damaged because a lot of people simply don't bother taking care of the things they borrow. Or, after borrowing an item a student vanishes into thin air, and I never see either her or my costume again.

Therefore, I'm very, very picky about loaning stuff. I do have some pieces that I'm willing to loan students for performances, but I take the items to the performance myself, and collect them as soon as it's over.

There are occasionally students who earn my trust over time through responsible behavior whom I will let take a borrowed item home with them. But I'm very picky about whom I'll trust in this way.

Same here. I definitely loan costumes to longtime students for troupe performances, then collect them after. I do this when I know they honestly can't afford a professional costume (those who are not interested in pursuing a career and only want to dance in the troupe) because I want the costuming to be professional. But I do not lend them out for any solo performances. They're on their own at that point. Only had problems with one student--twice, same person. She wanted to borrow a Bella dress for an awards ceremony she was going to, and whined and whined, insisting it would be "the perfect dress to wear" for that occasion (!). I spent a lot of time & energy explaining how inappropriate it would be to show up in a Bella, complete with cutouts and crystals, anywhere other than in a ME performance setting. And I also made the mistake of letting her borrow an expensive costume for someone else's hafla, assuming she would return it immediately. She had always been meticulous about costuming, and I assumed it was at least safe, even when it was not returned for quite a while. After insisting repeatedly that she return it, it turned out that she had kept it in the trunk of her car for several months. I have known dancers who have had costumes stolen from their trunk -- I was horrified. And learned that, as much as I'd like to share my sparklies, it's too risky. Sad, but necessary.

I guess she just does not know the value of professional belly dance costumes. Just say "no" to her or buy her own if she wants to entertain her male friends with herself looking sexy.

If she wants an expensive costume then direct her to the Dahlal or Bellydancestore websites and she can see the prices and buy her own.

You can suggest her to wear a choli top and a skirt or harem pants. That would be affordable.

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

Thanks ladies. I am not going to lend her any of my costumes. I don't lend my costumes to anyone. I was surprised that she asked.

What is a nicer why of saying this isn't about playing dress up?

I would just say, err on the side of giving information about prices, why they cost that, and how the costume is a tool/uniform...a very expensive tool...and why they look how they do for TEH DANCE and so on...and avoid the desire to lecture or chastize. Because you want the student to still be willing and able to approach you if they are still around when they start to have a real reason to make costume purchases and need help/advice.

People come in all kinds... careless to careful. And those who are careless are even more so with property not their own.

I was trying to help a friend of mine fix up a few of her most-battered hip scarves. One was in sad shape... ripped... but still knotted! She loaned it to a student in her class who got the fringes caught in the knot but was in such a hurry to leave class that she literally tore it off of herself!

I would only loan props or costume pieces to very, very good friends. But I can see how you wouldn't want to say it quite like that ("I only loan to very good friends and you're not one" doesn't sound too diplomatic). You could go for gracious but uncomprehending instead, like: "Oh, thank you for the compliment! It's great that you love my costumes! But you don't want to wear a sweaty old thing of mine. One day you'll have a fabulous costume that's special to you, too!" with a faraway romantic look in the eye.

(And if she persists, can I borrow one can I can I huh?, a placid "No, dear," with no explanation might suffice.)

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No, that opens a door for yourself that you definitely don't want opened.

If she wants to look sexy for her male companion's benefit she can source lots of sexy gear herself.

Originally Posted by bul_bul_ksa

No, that opens a door for yourself that you definitely don't want opened.

If she wants to look sexy for her male companion's benefit she can source lots of sexy gear herself.

true.

Originally Posted by MahiraRaqs

should I offer to let her use a choli and harem pants or cheap chiffon skirt?

Oh, I meant to tell her to buy her own choli and harem pants/cheap chiffon skirt...don't lend it to her.

Nope. Don't loan out costumes. People would always ask me for a costume to wear for Halloween, etc. My policy was that I don't loan out my costumes as they are very expensive and custom fitted for me and meant for the stage only. If something happened to the costume you would be responsible for $$$$$$(fill in price of costume). Most people are genuinely shocked at how much costumes cost.

I've spent a lot of time and investment in designing and making costumes. I firmly believe that if you want a costume you get your own. Everyone has to start somewhere and the internet is chock full of inexpensive options.

Here are some "value" costumes:
http://www.turkish-emporium.com/bell...dance-costumes

http://www.missbellydance.com/Belly_...Sets_s/124.htm

That may be a teaching opportunity. I would assume that the student was innocently unaware of what a faux pas it is to ask to borrow a costume. You could in class do a little show-and-tell about costumes, what good choices are for students, how expensive and hard to find high-end are, and where to go shopping.