Thread: Video Constructive Critiques

I remember awhile back someone was doing a similar thread, where several dancers posted videos of themselves, and got some feedback from helpful bhuzzers. I thought this was a really good idea, and I'd like to do it! Not by myself though, any takers? I know I"m a chicken .w.:

I would, but all the clips I currently have available I already KNOW what's wrong with my dancing -- LOL! Seriously, when I get the right clip, I'll be up for it.

Just got a fresh one, so I'm down...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFOBOjPndhE]YouTube - taXim Belly Dance show[/ame]

I know my hands and arms are a bit stiff in that goofy drum solo. Gotta loose the karate kid poses. Anything else to work on?

There is a great Tribe on tribe for this, called "Bellydance Feedback." I have posted a few videos there to get feedback.
If you post your video there (or here), I'll give you feedback.
I don't have anything new to share, but I do accept feedback on my youtube videos (username = Nypintha).

Nasila you're a beautiful dancer and you really use your floor space well.

And Oh! TamraHenna... I haven't seen anyone dance to it in sooo long, that was lovely

Maybe the little finger on you right hand?... haha, really I'm scraping for any improvements, you are a so enjoyable to watch.

Originally Posted by Nepenthe

There is a great Tribe on tribe for this, called "Bellydance Feedback." I have posted a few videos there to get feedback.
If you post your video there (or here), I'll give you feedback.
I don't have anything new to share, but I do accept feedback on my youtube videos (username = Nypintha).

With that said, there was an issue on that same tribe about showing edited clips...

If you want honest feedback your clips should be unedited. Give us everything in the raw from start to finish....

but, from what I did see in your clip I thought it was very nice. I might add something that my instructor said to me. I'm a very upright dancer and needed to add more level changes.

Originally Posted by NandaDncer

Maybe the little finger on you right hand?... haha, really I'm scraping for any improvements, you are a so enjoyable to watch.

Thanks! I'm convinced my right pinkie finger has a mind of its own. It always sticks up...when writing, when mousing...I can't even drink from a cup without the little bugger popping up (and no, I'm not British). ..c:: I will work on it, thanks! ..g.:

Lucinia, the unedited version is over 15 minutes. I wouldn't want to put anybody through that. But I see your point! :)

Yeah, that pinky finger really distracts from your dancing, I couldn't keep my eye off it - LOL! Beautiful dancing and forget about the finger. I have that same problem.

c'mon, midnight star. did you take it over to Tribe?

Nepenthe, my favorite video of you is the live drum solo from last year in the brown (I think?) costume. You look great it in, and you rocked the drum solo! :)

Originally Posted by nasila

c'mon, midnight star. did you take it over to Tribe?

Nepenthe, my favorite video of you is the live drum solo from last year in the brown (I think?) costume. You look great it in, and you rocked the drum solo! :)

Wow I didn't know you guys watched my videos. *blush* and thank you.

No I'll be in progress of uploading it to youtube tommorow...

Originally Posted by nasila

Just got a fresh one, so I'm down...

I know my hands and arms are a bit stiff in that goofy drum solo. Gotta loose the karate kid poses. Anything else to work on?

Good use of the floor space (variety of floor patterns)
Good separation between chest work and hips (when you're alternating hip/chest)
One thing, that may be a style thing (my instructor is always harping on not over doing it), is that your hands seem to be in your hair an awful lot.
I enjoyed watching, good musicality!

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I actually spent a whole private lesson sitting on the floor of Zahra's studio, talking about making use of the stage...I'm really happy to see you guys comment on it! I'm working on level changes and I really gotta make an effort to stop touching my poor thin hair (thanks for pointing that out). .w.:

So, doesn't anyone else want to play? Post some vids, get some nice constructive feedback!! ..g.:

Ok as long as it is constrctive ill give it a try, this is all I have that is recent! unfortnately they arent full clips and the zills piece ouch i know that needs work, Improve with zills YIKES i dont know what i was thinking, and the veil piece i totaly dropped them at the end oops ;-) Please remember I have NEVER stdies Egyptian

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-RPETCWNWA"]YouTube - Annwyn stage1[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReJL09Cg1fY"]YouTube - Annwyn stage 2[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONyiGCMj_hQ"]YouTube - Annwyn stage4[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g32C2TyxduU"]YouTube - Annwyn stage5[/ame]

Annwyn, I think I see the same arm issues I am trying to overcome. We are even built the same way! I tend to keep my arms bend a lot. May I suggest coming "inwards" with your arms? You tend to only jesture outwards. I've been taking more traditional dance classes and they've helped a bit...I think. I will post some once I figure out how to put a vid on youtube!

yes arms are my week point, and if yo can believe have improved.....Inward! I will practice

Nasila,

Ha ha, my pinky does that, too! Blame it on my English mum. I loved your dance, and don't think I can do better myself. But for what it's worth, some comments - I felt like the beginning could have had some more 'space' in the accent sections (it seemed a bit rushed, say between spinning and chest popping). I felt like you had caught up with the music from where the video cut and re-started the first time. Perhaps you'd got the vibe of the band then?

Also, I really wanted to see a big juicy hip circle or something more lateral, as a nice contrast to your more upright moves.

I didn't feel like you touched your hair too much, but when you lifted your arm in front of you face it did block the light on a few occasions - perhaps have the arm slightly wide of the head to prevent this?

Anwyn,

I think I've seen videos of yourself before and you seem to have been really improving! I really admire the way you keep putting yourself out there for constructive help. I liked your performance(s), especially that you smiled and interacted throughout. Some comments:

Drum solo - I would have liked to see some more solid accents to break up the shimmying - such as a few sharp hip drops or bumps. I loved the bit facing the back where you looked coyly over the shoulder while shimmying. A nice balance of cheeky without tarty! When you were facing the back shimmying, I wanted you to lift your hair, as it's so long it hides part of your hips.

Arms - I would like to see a longer, straighter arm when lifted above the head, to give a longer line. Also, the hand on the hip - perhaps tuck the elbow in a bit and lower where you put your hand so it's a little less teapot- handle-shaped! When you're facing the side (eg: for a camel), make sure your arm in front isn't hiding your lovely body movement - perhaps bring it slightly behind.

Zills - this is a really cute dance! Your zill-hands are like mine - sticky-out fingers! I am working on trying to 'cup' the zills more for a softer look - less like you're aiming them at the audience. Also, we both seem to open our fingers a bit wide between strikes - I am finding it is slowing down my playing.

Oh, you've both inspired me to do some work on my own dancing. Think I'll go practice zilling (which I'm pretty crap at). Hope the neighbours aren't home!

Hi Annwyn, nice job! You look like you're having fun. My thoughts...could the first costume be suffering from long-bra-strap syndrome? Your torso looks short in that costume compared to the others. Just a thought...

I have the same slighty hunched shoulders and bent arms. I think stretching, strengthening and lengthening the upper body would help (I too need to get into the habit). It's really hard to get to that proud-dancer posture but I think it's something we all should aspire to!

I thought your veil was quite nice but I would have liked to see some slower, more dramatic moves to that music. The turkish number was cute...perhaps try zilling with palms up and palms down to allow your wrists to relax a little? That last costume is my favorite on you; the girls look great in the bra with the vest! :)

Annwyn. I thought you looked lovely in the 2 darker costumes, perhaps it was the contrast with your skin colour, and your interaction with the audience was lovely.

I would work on arms and posture. I think I remember you posting somewhere else about whether ballet would be beneficial, and I think yes, you should go for it.

Nasila, I really like your style. I've said it before, your really easy to watch. You should be very happy with your performance.

Originally Posted by midnight_star56

I remember awhile back someone was doing a similar thread, where several dancers posted videos of themselves, and got some feedback from helpful bhuzzers. I thought this was a really good idea, and I'd like to do it! Not by myself though, any takers? I know I"m a chicken .w.:

For all it's worth, and I'm sure you know. Fussy hands. Too much hand movement during drum section in particular. This makes it look as though a) your arms and hands have a life of their own, ,and b) you are self conscious and a little awkward within that drum solo. Otherwise, a nice performance.

annwyn, I have to agree with everyone who says that you are showing great progress. It's obvious how hard you are working on your problem areas, and you are definately getting better at them.

One comment I have is about the 2nd clip - the double veil? When you spin, I am seeing a slight level change when you step down on the propelling foot. This makes the spin look less graceful and fluid than it can be. I find that the solution to that is to keep the ankle of the propelling foot extremely solid when you touch the toe to the floor. The uppy-downy is usually caused by the heel coming down slightly and then up again as you push off.

nasila, I love your ooey gooey yummyness - TamraHenna is also one of my faves, and I really liked your musical interpretation.

I agree with Kharis about the busy hands, but as it's something I struggle with too, I'll let those in a less glassy house address that.

Wow, Annwyn. What an improvement! I am thoroughly impressed.

Regards
Priscilla

Originally Posted by annwyn

yes arms are my week point, and if yo can believe have improved.....Inward! I will practice

Im bumping this back to the top because honestly I would like more feed back, expecially from some who have commented on my videos before I would like to have your constructive chritism......PLEASE....(lauren?)

Annwyn...


ok I will comment on the veil piece and the turkish piece. I'm only going to give constructive critique because as my teacher says - we all know it's good, so that's a given. The critique is the useful stuff.

In both cases, it's a little short to see everything you're might have done to the whole song, but my comments are..

Aziza says keep your pencil on the paper in her veil video. You need to do that. You need to flow more from one move to the next. It looks too intentional right now - like you are deliberately doing a move, then another. I also think you relied too much on spinning - it was a bit excessive. There is more than you can do with the veil. I also didn't like the way you were fiddling with it at the end - drop it and be done with it, now that the song has moved to a section where you could be doing interesting hip articulations. Katia's Smooth as Silk veils has a section on veil discards.

In the last vid - when the music stops, you should stop. Don't keep moving when the music isn't going. This happened in the beginning. Also, milk the taxim more - go slower. For the 9/8 - I didn't feel like you were keeping up or emphasizing the rhythm here. Well, that did change a bit, but your energy seemed low for this type of music and style - you need more energy, more POW. It's Turkish - you can have more bounce, more kick to it. but then this version of Rampi didnt' seem very upbeat anyway.

well, as long as we're critiquing, I will be brave and post something that I know is not my best. This is my first cane performance. I'll post my drum solo too. For cane, I know I have a LOT to work on - but would love to hear what I should focus on.
http://www.youtube.com/v/d-4DHCihIHc&rel=1


For drum, I know I'm proficient at drum solos, but I'm not as good as I'd like to be. I say it's my specialty but I'm starting to think I'm plateauing with them.

http://www.youtube.com/v/rCebs4LnaMs&rel=1

I have a few clips on my almost never used mac site. The last three are the most recent but may take hella long to load...and are sideways...blame the boyfriend's video-cel

Double

And there is one dark one on you tube.
YouTube - Belly dance Ozma Tokyo

BUt I think it is a little to dark to really get a feel...and I was seriously off my game

ozma, your little bod is sooo adorable! loved both clips. just when I was thinking you could do more creative things with your arms in the double doom, you started doing just that. perhaps consider repeating a phrase with your body when the music repeats? might make it easier for the audience to absorb what you're doing, as opposed to doing something fresh each time (which can start to look busy). anyways, you look so happy to be dancing. I love that! :)

Nepenthe, your cane is very cute...but you never did any whacks!! All cane performances must have a good hard stick whack, no?! ;)

Your dancing is lovely; more than anything, I think improving your posture would help your stage presence (it's something I need to work on too). When a dancer's shoulders are rolled back and down and her chest is lifted and proud, she's a wonder to behold even before she starts to move! Try lifting your chest up and away from your belly and see how it looks.

In the drum solo your hands and relaxed and lovely, but you need more extention in your arms much of the time (which should be coming from your upper back muscles so your shoulders don't get tired and hunch).

Be proud of how much you've accomplished and it'll shine through! :)

Originally Posted by annwyn

Im bumping this back to the top because honestly I would like more feed back, expecially from some who have commented on my videos before I would like to have your constructive chritism......PLEASE....(lauren?)

..l;, Annwyn, I've been holding back from responding to your posts on Bhuz. I never heard back from you after my long detailed-critique e-mail, I thought maybe I'd offended you & should leave you alone!

I haven't been checking this thread often, just because I'm soooo busy right now I'm bhuzzing only in short bursts & dont' really have the time to do any detailed critiquing. I skimmed your clips and the responses and it looks like you've already gotten most of the feedback I would have given. The single most important thing is how wonderful it is to see your warm, enthusiastic smile in these clips, though. And how inspiring it is to see you reaching out constantly for feedback. You're dedicated and fearless, that will get you everywhere you want to go.

For both you & Nasila (and anyone else who wants a good front-of-body stretch).
Stand facing a wall, up against it. Stretch out your right arm shoulder height, palm on the wall, Turn your body away from the wall, keeping your shoulder close to the wall. Hold for 30 seconds, then do the other side. Looks like this


You can also do both sides at the same time in a doorway - easier, more convenient, only slightly less effective. Try to do it many times a day, like every time you go into your kitchen or bathroom...


Opening up the front of the body (and strengthening the upper back) isn't just a matter of being conscious while dancing, you really have to change the shape of the muscles.