Thread: Want to start dancing again-need kick in the pants

Hi all. Let's see-was a low intermediate then quit dancing, for a variety of reasons, about 2 years ago. Lately I've been feeling the desire to start back up but keep coming up with reasons not to. Will y'all please tell me to just get started already. My reasons to not start:

1. I sold all my 'stuff': Akai veils, saroyan zils, costuming/jewelry, dvds, etc. I'm, er, poorer now than I was, so getting it all again will be harder.

2. I'm 5 months post-partum and don't recognize my body anymore. It is a flabby, poochy tummy-ed, bright purple stretch-marked, muscle-less thing. I used to be able to do hip work with my abs and glutes-now I don't think I could find them with a map. But, I can't be too hard on it, I guess, since it did safely carry and deliver my baby.

3. I just would feel really odd wandering back into my old teacher's studio. Not that she'd remember me, but still...
3A Eeek, what if I'm still in her student database, so she would 'remember' me?!?!

4 Said teacher is perfect in every way, except she teaches a more modern Am-Egyptian style. I favor old style Am Cab. (In my dreams I would learn real Turkish or Lebanese)

Hmm, anyone know a good AmCab teacher in the Cleveland, OH area?

4A I could randomly try the people listed on Shira's site, but I'd just feel really, horribly awkward arranging for a lesson only to go 'thanks, but no thanks' because the style, quality, or personality wasn't what I was looking for.

Okay, enought of the pity party. Someone kick me in the rear and tell me to get over it!

JUST DO IT!
If you want to dance then dance!
I have many students come and try classes and say, hmmm, not what I'm looking for. A teacher should not take offense at that. Might be better to call and ASK what style they teach first though, would save a bit of trouble in the long run.....
As far as your body goes, hey what better way to get back into shape than doing something you enjoy?

hey, if this used-to-be dancer went back after three kids and a much different body, so can you! Get yourself some yoga pants that fit your body now, and a good leotard... wearing a leotard under a tank kept the baby belly under wraps during class and made me feel firmer and more comfortable.

I'm sure your teacher has plenty of students whose lives take them in different directions, so if you liked her go back. Or go try out some other teachers in your area and see where you feel happy and comfortable. When I went back I started at a lower level than I had been at before and was able to regain some of my core strength and not have to worry about tricky choreo for a while.

Plus, don't forget- you just did a really hard thing, and you deserve to treat yourself well- and, babies love bellydancing, all of that pretty silk and bouncing around with a happy mom!

Originally Posted by ribbit

Hi all. Let's see-was a low intermediate then quit dancing, for a variety of reasons, about 2 years ago. Lately I've been feeling the desire to start back up but keep coming up with reasons not to. Will y'all please tell me to just get started already. My reasons to not start:

1. I sold all my 'stuff': Akai veils, saroyan zils, costuming/jewelry, dvds, etc. I'm, er, poorer now than I was, so getting it all again will be harder.

2. I'm 5 months post-partum and don't recognize my body anymore. It is a flabby, poochy tummy-ed, bright purple stretch-marked, muscle-less thing. I used to be able to do hip work with my abs and glutes-now I don't think I could find them with a map. But, I can't be too hard on it, I guess, since it did safely carry and deliver my baby.

3. I just would feel really odd wandering back into my old teacher's studio. Not that she'd remember me, but still...
3A Eeek, what if I'm still in her student database, so she would 'remember' me?!?!

4 Said teacher is perfect in every way, except she teaches a more modern Am-Egyptian style. I favor old style Am Cab. (In my dreams I would learn real Turkish or Lebanese)

Hmm, anyone know a good AmCab teacher in the Cleveland, OH area?

4A I could randomly try the people listed on Shira's site, but I'd just feel really, horribly awkward arranging for a lesson only to go 'thanks, but no thanks' because the style, quality, or personality wasn't what I was looking for.

Okay, enought of the pity party. Someone kick me in the rear and tell me to get over it!

1. You don't need stuff to just dance. You certainly don't need all that stuff to get started again.

2. Do you remember how good bellydancing made your feel previously? The time when you're not lovin' your body is exactly the right time to take up bellydancing and learn to love what it can do...juicy undulations and delicious shimmies with your wobbly bits and all!

3. I'm a teacher and I just love to see old students coming back to me...it's a real compliment! I figure if they left, they had good reason to, and I'm always happy to see them again. I imagine most teachers would feel the same.

I am with you ribbit.

<< WARNING: Pity Party to follow >>

I had a baby 3 mos ago and am now feeling extra flabby and cottage cheesy especially in the lower ab region. (Not that I was svelt before but that's another story.) I wanted to go back to dancing the next session after she was 3 mos old. I figured if other women could go back to working around then I could commit to one dance class per week.

But now that the time has arrived I am putting it off until after Christmas. I stress really hard around the holidays and don't think I could handle the added stress of pumping breastmilk and leaving my baby (and 3 year old) with an also stressed out hubby.

Everything will be better after Christmas and I KNOW I will be even more motivated to get in shape come January.


**Not that it has anything to do with this thread but I am also going bald!!! Ok maybe not bald but I am losing hair like a sled dog in Arizona. I know this is just a side effect of my hormones leveling out. It happened to me last time too and I lost part of my eyebrow and a good amount of eyelashes too! This will pass and I won't look like a mutant forever but it adds to the unattractive feeling.

But I WILL DANCE AGAIN!!!! - in January.

here's your kick!

"kick"

LOL!

I've had four kids, and because I've danced my whole life and still doing it, you wouldn't know it unless I told you.

Just do it, you might be suffering from a little post partum blues. (I've been there, so I know)

Dance and doing something for yourself will help immensely.

Your WILL get your body back. Don't be hard on yourself about it. You just gave birth, it takes time, and congrats by the way!

*waves to ribbit* I'm in Cleveland!!! I don't really know of any instructors teaching true AmCab; Egyptian-esque seems to be the in-vogue thing now. I see a lot of Turkish influence in Sherena, who is in Barberton. I can't find her website now and don't recall if she's an instructor but she is around. I know she had to have taught at one point in time, because there is an instructor in Medina County who learned from her. Oh, and Mariah (originally from Columbus Habeeba's) will be teaching soon in the Akron area too. Check her out on youtube! If you want any help, feel free to message me.

Also, don't be afraid to come back to classes. People always drift in and out

To Ribbit & Beki - to all the excellent advice already given, let me just add that at different times over the past 20 years of my belly dancing, I've had to take a break of 6 months or so and experienced similar feelings - which boil down to feeling so out of sorts emotionally due to stress and physically out of shape that I worried waaaaay too much about reactions upon returning to class. So, whether it's new baby blues, or post-surgery blahs - you will feel better when you go to a class, even if it's a new one that you decide itsn't for you, or the old one that you go to and decide is fine for "now" but you want to branch out. My point is, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and dance, somewhere, anywhere. You will feel better; you don't need a bunch of dance stuff, just wear something comfy you can MOVE in. Trust me, teachers see this all the time, trust me, they love it when a student returns to "start over" - because they can really help you! I also second the idea of starting a level lower than when you left so there's no pressure of choreo, costuming.
If all that doesn't get you dancing, consider this: once I complained to my doctor about how I was so out of shape and blah, blah, blah and he tried to get me to buy an exercise bicycle or step aerobics program so I could "exercise in front of TV" (oh the horror!!!!). In other words, think of how much you enjoyed the music, the teacher, the dance art for itself and compare it to other truly boring exercise plans and you will be GLAD to return to dance classes, any dance class. Because if you enjoyed dance before, then you NEED it in your life to stay happy and reasonably fit.
Good luck and don't give up even if you have to skip a class at first due to sitter issues, busy schedules; just remind yourself that you ARE A DANCER IN YOUR SOUL. And your soul will thank you for it!

Thanks everyone. Just what I needed!
I don't have the 'baby blues', I have the 'social awkwardness blues'. I really wouldn't enjoy arranging a try-out class, meeting the teacher, and then having to come up with a 'thanks, but no thanks'. I checked my teacher's website and I think I can't go back until Jan so I have time to get a dvd and practice a bit. Maybe get some stuff for Christmas (although my list is so long Santa will need a sleigh just for me!). Dropping down for a session or two sounds like a good idea. My daughter lives to play with pretty fabric so she'll love it when I get a veil. Hmm, how well does baby drool wash out of silk? ..l;,
I'll need zill muffs thought since high pitched noises bother her.

Like everyone else, I say "go for it!" I'd also recommend taking whatever class is the most fun and least stress for you and don't worry about the level -- the point right now is just to get moving in ways that make you feel good.

I took some time off recently (without such a great reason as having a baby!) and was very anxious about going back to class and feeling like a large lump with two left feet and no muscle tone. My partner had to literally shove me out the door, I was so freaked out! But when I got there, my new/old teacher (someone I studied with years ago and hadn't seen since) gave me a really warm welcome, and as soon as the music started I wondered why I had left in the first place. It's a really good place to be.

Also, this might seem like an odd recommendation since you're postpartum, not prenatal, but you might want to check out the "Prenatal Bellydance Fitness" video from WDNY that's reviewed on Shira's website. After previewing it for a pregnant student of mine, I thought it would also be a great tool for someone who's getting back into dance after time off and maybe feeling out of shape, overweight or creaky, or really for anyone who just wants a safe and gentle dance workout. Worth a look!

Best wishes,
Suzana

Just thought I'd add that there is no reason to feel strange going back to an old teacher if you liked that teacher. I would be thrilled to see a student return to my class and pick up where she left off. I would not waste any time wondering why she quit, why she came back, etc.

Sedonia

Originally Posted by ribbit

I'll need zill muffs thought since high pitched noises bother her.

I hear baby socks work well! ..g.:

Do you have any friends that you could sucker*ahem* talk into taking classes with you? Even if you were to start at a more basic level in a different style, peer pressure-- I mean group support :D-- is a great way to keep yourself going to classes!
I have found that even though I consider myself an advanced student at one specific style (east-coast flavor tribal) I can still get a ton out of beginner level classes in other styles. You don't have to want to do the style for the rest of your life to get good information from the class, and hell, Am-Egyptian is a lot closer to your preferred style than some classes I have taken are.

Go go go! Sometimes it's good just to get out of the house! :)

*kicks*

How about not building it up so much in your mind. It's only a dance class. You don't need to be perfect before you go (costume, self body image etc). At the end of the day, others in the class are going to have busy lives and aren't likely to be thinking about you or judging you. I read somewhere a quote which said something like "if you knew how little other people were thinking about you, you wouldn't worry about what they think!".

Here's what I would do. Get a fairly easy DVD & start doing it, as a prep for the class & an intro. If you can't afford it, then ask for it for Christmas or whatever holiday is coming up soon that you celebrate, or just ask straight out. I like the following one, which I first encountered because my local public library system had it. About $20. on amazon.com or go to her website. A little less in Dec directly from Shamira.

Bellydance DVDs and Videos by Shamira

The Sensuous Workout w/ Shamira

Bellydancing [videorecording] : the sensuous workout with Shamira
Shahinian, Shamira.

Publication info: Goddess Visions, c1995.
Physical descrip: 1 videorecording (54 min.) : sd., col.
Summary: Bellydancer Shamira shows how to use the fluid movements of bellydancing to firm your figure and release inner sensuality.

I also bought Shamira's second DVD – It has good shimmy drills on it. But I don’t use it that often. (It’s quite long.)

another possibility is to get a DVD that's more challenging aerobically & also has belly dance on it. I like Keti Sharif's Body Quake Elements which Shira has reviewed.

Being that it's holiday season, you may be able to pick up some stuff cheaply which other students are selling. Watch your local studio websites for advertisements.