Thread: Being Brave: Posting video for criticism

Ok I NEED feedback. But please, if you have any controversial comments please pm me rather than starting WWIII.

This of a performance from last week. Completely improvisation, I had 3 hours of sleep for the past week, and was soooo tired from running around trying to get 50 dancers ready. But anyways, I can't hide behind excuses forever-I've come to the conclusion that I'll never be rested for a performance!

So yes, my hands suck. I'm forever working on them and it looks like I am looking down-the audience is slightly below the stage. And yes, my oh sh*t movement is hip drop hell.

Otherwise, dig in! I take everything with a grain of salt, so don't worry about hurting my feelings!

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUXFCZlVR_k"]YouTube - Amity Belly Dance Hafla 12/1/07[/ame]

Oh I should also mention my left arm looks funny because I am double jointed and have a hard time keeping it in the right position lol...

I read that maybe you wanted someone with controversial topics to PM you. My comment is not, but your feedback should be confidential, so I'm PMing you instead. Thanks!

The lighting was terrible! I don't see the point in a spot for a moving target. That being said, for those stationary moments where you're in the vicinity of a light, try to find your light. Your face was in the dark a few times--including the very beginning. Lights are hot, so you should be able to feel the light on your face and upper body rather than planting yourself in the middle of the circle. Hard to keep there when you need to be moving (which is why I think spots were a bad choice for a dance performance), but it would have been nice to start the stationary bit there at the beginning.

I don't have anything about the movement. The Mario bit was cute, but it seemed out of sync with the other pieces and with the costuming. I would say if it's going to be part of a set of songs, that either the other songs need to complement it or a wider range of songs should be chosen, and the costuming should have something to tie it in--even if it's along the lines of wearing a cab costume reminiscent of the princess' costume (colors, crown, etc).

Oh my gosh! Girl you're awesome. I really enjoyed the whole thing. I think your arm are fine! I've also been working on my arms and particularly my wrists, as they occasionally get this whirlie thing (actually more than occasional) Every now and then, you did kinda turn your wirsts, but there's nothing wrong with that! You don't do it on every beat and it fits with the music.

Really I'm of no help because I just thought it was awesome! I loved the drum solo at the end. The Super Mario Bros. music took me back to my childhood.

You have great turns and make good use of the stage space.

That was adorable - loved the middle!! Just a little polish on the hands, like you said already, and I would have liked to see a big luscious bow with a big smile at the end (or was that part just cut off?). And maybe some giant AB stones on your pretty cozzie. :)

3 hrs sleep? you never would have known with those choo choo shimmys!
over all i liked it.

i also wish the lighting was better for the video, but we can't always have everything.

constructive critique:
i wanted you to physically follow the violins in the opening phrases. they jumped out at me, musically and i think you can really get some "pow" out of them right up front in the piece. [the 2 "bada da dum" decending parts just before vocals]

i liked the variety of music in the short time you had. will you trade me the supermario track for a track of mine? if so, please pm me. hehe

Thanks all! Yes the lighting was horrible-two of the main lights burnt out 1/2 hr before the show, but it wasn't as bad as it came out in the video.

As to the arms/wrists-I call them a.d.d. arms: they just want to do everything!

And bow: I was announcing it was intermission lol.

Thanks for the feedback-keep it coming!

Wow that was just perfect, just perfect!

Amity Honey, you are beeeeee-yootiful!!!
Rosette

As always I am posting without reading others comment. Overall, I felt it was a strong dance, but was let down a bit by Super Mario sounding song at the end. Though I would like to caveat by saying if you were dancing for a community that knew you well, the fun element and in-joke element would have won out over musical concerns.

I liked that you put humour and character into the whole dance, particularly with the pauses, the indian head movements, and the leg flicks at 3.41. The dance did not seem to frantic, and you looked like you were having fun.

The lighting let you down a bit, as whenever you weren't in spot you disappeared, and using the full stage is a dancers asset (have you seen Randa Kamel dart around the stage !).

You looked down a lot (eg. at 1.44) look up ! Once or twice your shoulders crept up nearer your ears a bit.

The hip drops were a bit loose and floppy, which is nice sometimes, but perhaps you could try the glute squeeze hip drop and knee snap hip drop for some sharper variety.

You already mentioned your hands (I sympathise, as they are my achilles heel also!).

So the main points were musical choice at the end, get the lighting sorted out, and sharpen up those hip drops. Keep the wonderful character work, the pauses, and the non-frantic nature of your dancing. Silver star - well done !

edited to say - Your exit, get someone else to do the announcing when you are dancing, so that you can keep your posture and walk off tall & proud.

I want to congratulate you on the chutzpah it takes to ask for public feedback. It allows learners to learn!

I thought it was very lovely. You give good "bus stop". Dr. Mo talks about how americans never stop and let people just enjoy them. You take time to let us just enjoy you. Very nice. You do have very nice lines with your body and I don't really see all that many issues with your arms but your hands do flop down a little but since I've got the same issues I'm not knocking anyone for that! LOL!!!

You do seem to look down alot, but that sometimes too is the staging. It's hard to project to audience members you can't see.

I thought it was super nice. I really enjoyed it!! You're a great dancer and you have a wonderful figure!

Overall I liked it. Everyone is their own worst critic (I know I'm mine). I think you are stressing too much over your hands/arms, they looked very nice. Fluid, graceful, not jerky or stiff. Everyone could always work on hands and arms, if we stop working on them, that's when it shows. I thought the Mario bit at the end was cute. I wish you would have taken a bigger bow and let everyone clap for you at the end. ;-) I know you said you had to announce intermission, but that could've waited at least 5 more seconds. :-) I would have liked to see a brighter colored costume because the stage was so dark. I agree that the beginning would have looked nice in the spot light. Dark stage and then the lights come on and there you are. But it was very enjoyable. I could tell you really knew your music. I LOVED the second song, what was it? I want it! :-)

Bravo, you really did great! (I certainly couldn't tell you hadn't slept much)

You were great! It is a very cute set. I didn't have any issues with your hands and arms. And that is one of my personal bug-a-boos. Maybe because I tend to use them too much!

The only thing which really struck me is that there were opportunities to really contrast some of the slow, ooey, gooey moments with some sharp isolations which were missed. This may be the hip drops which you were talking about. But over all it was lovely.

{{{{HUGS}}}

I really enjoyed this clip and I don't often watch clips all the way through. I click off after 10 sec. if I don't like them, usually due to mediocre or uninteresting dancing and/or music choices that grate.

I thought your music choices and editing were brilliant. I thought the Super Mario "drum solo" at the end was adorable for a community show, which is what a hafla is, right? A very nice hafla, by the appearances of that stage.

I thought you did a lovely job and I love that you were improvising and doing so well to the musical accents.

One little suggestion: at about 3:24 (approx.) you do a cool upper body circle and shoulder shimmy that goes great with the music. I thought you were going to repeat it with the hips but you went back into the hip bumps instead. Nothing wrong with that, but the circle/shimmy repeated on upper body and lower body would be a cool combination.

I didn't notice big problems with the hands or arms. Overall I thought they were well done.

Lighting is an issue. Video performance is always different from the real life show. If the lighting is set up for videotaping, you lose the atmosphere of a stage show for the audience. Still, it's good to learn where your light is and stay there as much as possible, even for the live audience.

Bravo!

I loved this, too! Your dancing was just lovely. And once I'd got over the surprise of the music changes (I was really enjoying the first song), I quite liked your music choices. I would have liked to see slightly more contrast in styling for each piece - especially felt that some big hip-drop-kicks or similar would have been a good start for the middle piece, to provide some deliniation. Also, really liked the Super Mario piece, but felt it could have been crisper in keeping with the music style.

Your arms - looked fine to me. I noticed you cross them over your body a bit between moves. I do this a lot and it hides my moves (grrr, trying to break the habit), but it seemed OK on you.

Yes, you do look down. But just as I thought 'oh, she's looking down again' you'd also add in some cute look at the audience. The look down seems really appropriate for the first music, but less so for the second and third pieces.

PS - my concert is tomorrow. I know how you feel about preparing everyone else but yourself!

PPS - Second music (for MAHIRA-MICHELLE): I know that song as 'Keyf' from one of the Mezdeke CDs. I was given a copy of a copy, so can't confirm that's correct. I love it, too!

Thanks so much everyone! This is the feedback I've been looking for.

Yes, this is Keyf off one of the Mezdeke cd's. I downloaded the song off amazon.com for 99 cents. The lyrics are just so silly you can't help but be goofy!

And yes, this was a student hafla/my going away party. Everyone in the audience was there by invite only. So it was meant to be a fun, low key event.


I really, really, appreciated your feedback everyone! Keep it coming! If you were grading me, what would you give me? Be honest, like I said-I am doing this to improve and don't hold grudges. I want to be a great dancer. Not ever going to be a professional, but I would like to dance as close as I can to one!

Thanks!
Amity

I enjoyed watching it and I really envy your improvisational skills! I specially liked the bit around 3.03 where you do the floor patterns with the running shimmy. I really disliked the part where you invite the audience to clap along, but I don't like that whoever does it, just a personal thing.

Originally Posted by amity

Thanks so much everyone! This is the feedback I've been looking for.

Yes, this is Keyf off one of the Mezdeke cd's. I downloaded the song off amazon.com for 99 cents. The lyrics are just so silly you can't help but be goofy!
And yes, this was a student hafla/my going away party. Everyone in the audience was there by invite only. So it was meant to be a fun, low key event.


I really, really, appreciated your feedback everyone! Keep it coming! If you were grading me, what would you give me? Be honest, like I said-I am doing this to improve and don't hold grudges. I want to be a great dancer. Not ever going to be a professional, but I would like to dance as close as I can to one!

Thanks!
Amity

I just downloaded it. WooHoo! I love it!
You said the lyrics are so silly you can't help but be goofy, so what does it mean?

I think your arms are lovely. You use full extension which is often a problem for some dancers. You are with the music, very relaxed in style and good use of all body parts! Very good and nothing to be nervous about!..g.:

Thanks!

The song goes something like I am a man from Saidi, Saidi Land. I wear a blue thobe. I am a man from saidi land...I forgot the last lyric-catch me if you can?????

Amity

THAT is the Keyf translation?? AWESOME!

I mean, obviously there was some serious discussion of the Saidi concept, but that was about as far as I got.

Lovely light,delicate, looking absolutely fabulous
...sh$t lightning...why did they not light the whole stage for you especially for improvisation and a dark costume?
Loved the running shimmy
Maybe a few higher Saidi moves and no I too dislike a dancer clapping
All in all ...lovely jubbly. If you weren't on form...lI'd ove to see you when you are!

I thought you were lovely. I agree with the others about your hands and arms - I thought they were fine. I was all prepared to look for a lack of extension or failure to complete the gesture like so many dancers have issues with, but they were just fine! I really enjoyed how you look very comfortable, relaxed and unhurried on stage. you have a great variety of movements in your repertoire and you for the most part used the stage very well.

the only critiques I could come up with (other than the obvious lighting issue) are:
with your head carriage, even if your audience is below you, we must FIGHT to keep our heads up, shoulders down and throats long! if you must look at your low audience, do so with the eyes in your jawbones. :) things that help my students with this are to visualize the head as a lovely daisy happily floating at the top of a long slender stalk; imagining you're wearing a fantabluos diamond necklace a' la wilma flintstone and you need to let the light hit it to show it off; stretching the head up away from the shoulders and simultaneously stretching the shoulders down away from the neck; and always think of keeping the throat loooooong (while still keeping the energy shooting up the back of your neck, so you don't collapse front or back). give us a nice shot of your jugular vein every now and then.

you could experiment with adding more tension/suspense to some of your movements - holding a bit more firmly to your leg glute and core muscles to add a bit more gush. that adds nice contrast. you can support gush/juiciness with your breath - imagine earthy gasps, grunts and growly moans (yes, I'm serious. ask my students how I make them moan and groan in class!) as the air enters and leaves your body.

stagecraft-wise, about halfway through I was thinking it would be nice to see some movements with you facing away from the audience, but then you had several. same thing with level changes - you have some deep hip circles, but you could throw in a lean or drop-sit or plie' movement, to get you away from the upright-and-veritcal. also, some travelling steps, just to take a break and circle the stage, could be added once or twice.

I was fine with your lack of a bow - I know exactly the circumstance you're talking about with the show, and I think the friendly casualness was perfectly fine. I'm sure you wouldn't do that for a theater show for the g.p.. also the mario music was odd - again, wouldn't do that for the g.p. - but you knew your audience and I thought it was cute. like some others commented, I'm not a fan of the huh? my goodness, what strange music is this, tee hee? business :) but in the same situation I probably would do the exact same thing, har. :) maybe make the shrugs and clap-with-mes more stylized and stage-y.

overall, nice! it held my attention the whole way through, and that's pretty rare. :) I'd give you a 4.5 (out of 5) GPA for the set. :)

Wow, I appreciate all of the time you took to do this! I never noticed my head in that sense, I always thought of it as my football shoulders.

Thanks!

Liza-by higher Saidi move do you mean more folky technique/moves or level changes?

Hi Amity!

I really enjoyed your performance, it was elegant and entertaining :-)

One thing that could add to your dance is adding a few level changes, a few dramatic dips or bending the supporting leg on hip drops now and then would bring some extra drama and unexpected suspense to the performance.

For the arms and hands: try imagining your back really carrying/supporting the arms, or imagine keeping your armpits pointing forwards (hope that makes sense in englisch lol) this should give more extension and expression to the arms instantly.

and always always keep the neck elongated and chin up, only look at your body when you intend to draw the enery/attention inward, otherwise stay open to the audience (it helps to imagine a dear friend in the back of the audience)

would love to see more videoclips!

best wishes
khalida