Thread: Progress, Constructive Criticism

PLEASE if you have anything negative to say send it to me in an E mail (annwyndance@yahoo.com) or Pm me, please do NOT e mail the youtube acct, it is not mine....I would love some feed back on my progress.....These videos are NOT perfect, there are some problems, like a skirt malfunction that drasticly messed up my turns, and missing a few beats on the endings....but other than that......Thoughts please.....

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yct6eYBCAVM]YouTube - Modern Bellydance[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1yh3AFC1yU]YouTube - Double Veil[/ame]

Thank you in advance!

You have some very pretty moves, I like the way you used the umi as an
accent move. One thing, I would have liked to see you smile more in the first piece.

..g.: ..g.: Yes Smile!!!..g.: ..g.:

WOW, Annwyn!! You've made great progress really fast! Loved the taximy parts and your hands are so relaxed, it's lovely. I'd like to see you make more use of your hair...looks like you could do some pretty swishes and maybe some flips with it. Fabulous job!!

Just watched the second one and I prefer that costume style on you...or maybe it's just the heels that detract in the first one. But, very nice job. I would have liked to see you step on the dums every now and then in the rhythm that starts at 4:30, and going back and forth between melody the whole time. But overall I think you're doing a great job with Egyptian style.

And, smile while you dance -- I can tell you've worked hard but it's supposed to be FUN! :)

HEHEHE, I know what you mean, I have looked at the green and gold many times and couldnt figure out it is the same night but it looks like i lst 20 lbs betwern sets......I think it is the skirt and heels, I have the costume on in another pic with a red skirt (see link) and it looks good, so i am going to NOT wear that skirt with heals again, it makes me look really round, maybe becuse the skirt is so short with the heals........It will be my new OUT SIDE IN THE GRASS skirt.......

RO-66.jpg - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I was SO concentrated on my students that night that I was VERY stressed......the show went good and I was not relaxed but finally (besides the smiling) i feel as if I have captured MY dance on film.... there are mistakes but NOT the same as before.....

shik shak shook:
great isolations @ 1:40,
nice layering @ 3:50,
very pretty left hand [audience right]@ 3:55,
especially lovely composure @ 4:04

veil:
spiral movement was smooth
great hand movement @ 2:04

oh, and i am totally jealous of your hair :)

THANKS! every one keeps telling me to cut it, IM NOT GOING TO

The heels seemed very high with the green skirt. I don't know if it was the angle of filming but they seemed a little precarious and distracting. I did think the black costume was more flattering on you.

I feel that ballet classes would really help in lots of ways, are there any near you? Also, if you were able to learn someone elses choreo (a master teacher) this could help move you further forward.

Yes there are ballet classes up the road for adult on friday nights, I plan on attending in jan 2008

So is every one on vacation already? Or do i need to go do a booty dance in a bikini and call it oriental to get some more posts..l;, ..l;, ..l;,

I would like to have seen some undulations and steps on the dum too. I don't think there were any at all and I also agree with more smiling. Nice improvement Annwyn.

Thanks! I never relied there were no undulations, how funny I always feel like I have too many......I will keep that in mind

I would have liked to see more extension in your arms, during both vids, you kept your arms bent at the elbow (although they stayed nice and lifted) with your relaxed, or non working hand/arm pulled in towards you.

In veil I like the full extension of the arm to keep the air moving under the veil and give the fabric more character. The veil should move with what your doing and it's easier to treat it as a partner if you pay attention to the way that it moves if you're extending through the arms.

As an exercise, I have my students stand in basic stance, with arms lifted, elbows towards the back wall, shoulders down, scapula pulling to the back to support the weight of the arms. take a good look at yourselves in the mirror. Then, I have them close their eyes, and release their arms, breathe in deeply relaxing through the neck and shoulders, think about the energy in your body, from your center center of gravity. use that energy to lift the arms, keeping the shoulders down and the neck relaxed, lifting through the rib cage, pulling the scapula in. extend the energy out through the base of the palms, keeping the fingers relaxed, hands ready but not limp.

Then I have them open their eyes and look at themselves so they can see the difference in how they are holding their arms, lifted and ready without tension.

It's usually quite different.

Additionally, it felt as if you were dancing a bit over the music, missing some important accents, although I liked your hip circle/upper body accents to the music.

it's really hard to post videos for comments, you're very brave!

fyi, the way you worder your request for feedback reads as if you want only the positive comments posted, and any constructive critique emailed to you privately. What I wrote above was a constructive technique of your basic form. Not a negative comment on your dancing. But if you see it as negative (as sometimes happens, tone doesn't come through online) people will be hesitant to respond to you. I'm taking the chance guessing that you are looking for more critique...

I do not see that as nagative at all, I guess I meant anything overly harsh please Pm me. I really wanted feedback that is why I posted them....Thank you for taking the time to critique it!

I am now encouraged to put some more specifics in ! I felt there were occasions when the music was wanting you to travel, and you were stationary (which is why feeling this sort of thing in someone elses choreo may help), also the shoulders don't look relaxed at times, which is why the I thought the ballet would help. I hope I am brave enough to post a video for crit someday !

Yes, and ballet will also help with your posture, which takes time to correct. I've been working hard with mine and it's still not up to par!

There is a spot in the first one where before you do some stationary chest cricles, you lift your rib cage up and out of your belly and it look really nice. That chest lift, and having your arms and carriage supported (I really like Kina's trick above) by your upper back will really make a big difference.

Musically, you may want to choreograph big changes in the rhythm (this was mostly improv, yes?) -- the suggestion to learn from a master choreographer is great but I know it's hard to come by where you live. :)

I am really going to stop weight lifting, I think it really makes me look tight and it could be part of the problem

Originally Posted by annwyn

I am really going to stop weight lifting, I think it really makes me look tight and it could be part of the problem

Don't you dare! Women need to lift weights to promote bone strength as they get older. It also helps to keep your body in shape. If you take away the weight training, you'll have to add cardio, reduce your caloric intake and in general follow more rigid diet and exercise, which takes away from your practice time.

Keep the wieght lifting, but add some flexibility training to balance it, either active athletic stretching, or yoga. both will serve the same thing. Yoga will also increase your fluidity, especially vinyasa (flow) and will increase your mind body connection which improves dance.

there is a yoga class also on fridays mornings though, I will be taking that as well when i get back.....

I'm going to leave the more technical comments to the more knowledgeable amongst us- do not be offended when I say this*, but your veil and costume pairing is quite effective in the double veil.
I guess my one question would be why ditch one of the veils so early? Maybe one was misbehaving, but I would hang onto the two a little longer and milk the "double veil" excitement.

*referencing the threads that mention costume compliments as the kiss of death

I didn't comment the first time you posted videos, but I did watch them. I can definitely tell you've been working really hard on perfecting your dance! You've made huge improvements - your use of the stage space is great too. I think most of my observations have already been mentioned, but I will say one thing :)

I don't know the audience here, but I wish there was more participation from them. I think smiling and making a little more of a connection probably helps; I would also cue them to clap in certain parts of the music. For example, after the taxim in Shik Shak Shok. I don't know, clapping always helps me find that last drop of energy before the song ends.

Something that always stuck with me, and I've heard this many times. An audience will favor a dancer who has a great personality on stage over the person who's really technically proficient. It leaves them feeling happier. Of course I work on my technique, but I try not to forget about the stage personality either. That takes practice too and can be even harder to develop than the perfect shimmy.

My one cent. It was not so much when you droped the veil, it was how. There was no drama in the discard. I was a simple act of discarding a prop rather than a "release the doves" sort of a move. Know what I mean?