Thread: new youtube clip of me -- feedback?

Hi all: here are some clips of my performance in our show featuring Lauren last month. If anyone would care to pm or post constructive feedback, that would much appreciated.

Oh, I messed up in editing part one -- the dancing doesn't start until 50 seconds or so into it. It took me forever to get the clip in a form where the music wasn't offset so I just left it.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjSPSVfp6_s]YouTube - Sedonia -- Fyom Weleleh Part 1[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUsZXBMoC5Y]YouTube - Sedonia -- Fyom Weleleh Part 2[/ame]

I've already seen this and commented, but I just want to say again how lovely the lighting is and how great that cozzie looks with your hair color. And I like your interpretation. Beautiful!

Beautiful arms and you're very graceful!

Yes, very graceful and you have good technique. I liked your interpretation of the music and the whole thing felt very comfortable. So here's my input, and it's just my personal opinion. I felt like everything was all one level..hmm, how do I put it...like it was all very *safe*. It could be because of many things, (because of the stage, translation to video, etc.) but I felt you were disconnected from the audience. Also, I felt that you could have had some juicy moments, but didn't quite make it to that level. Also, I didn't see you complete many movements before moving on, and you favored your right arm a little, which was kind of distracting.

Again, this is just MPO. Overall the performance was nice and yes, that dress and your hair was YUMMY! =) Hope this helps some.

Originally Posted by tabitha

Yes, very graceful and you have good technique. I liked your interpretation of the music and the whole thing felt very comfortable. So here's my input, and it's just my personal opinion. I felt like everything was all one level..hmm, how do I put it...like it was all very *safe*. It could be because of many things, (because of the stage, translation to video, etc.) but I felt you were disconnected from the audience. Also, I felt that you could have had some juicy moments, but didn't quite make it to that level. Also, I didn't see you complete many movements before moving on, and you favored your right arm a little, which was kind of distracting.

Again, this is just MPO. Overall the performance was nice and yes, that dress and your hair was YUMMY! =) Hope this helps some.

I agree with Tabitha. I was missing som changes in tempo and mood, there was some really nice choreography, but at places I felt you could maybe done bigger/harder/juicier.

I also agree on working on finishing movements and polishing transitions. Everytime there was a change/transition I felt that for a short period of moment you kind of had to think about what came next. So the transitions weren´t as smooth as they could be. And sometimes I also felt that you started a movement and stopped half way not finishing properly. This was especially noticable with you arms. There are several times when you rased your arms and didn´t go all the way up, leaving an unfisnished feel to it, or stressed.

This can of course depend on a lot of things, being tired, not knowing the choreo well enough and being stressed over what comes next, feeling awkard with the audience etc.

You liked your connection to your abdomen, you had some really nice tummyactions going on..g.:

Hope you find this comments helpful.

Thanks for the comments Tabitha and Katja.

I don't really choreograph; it just doesn't work for me any more for my solo performances. In this case, I choreographed a few combos at the beginning in the masmoudi section, and to me these were some of the weaker parts, whereas parts purely improvised in the moment (that I didn't know I had done until I watched it) were some of the better parts.

The other thing going on was I was concerned about using the space so I think I was at times thinking about where I need to go on the stage, not so much about what movement to do. That is something I'm still working on in terms of improvisational skills, that is not an issue in smaller venues.

Lastly the sound could not be heard well on the stage and I think this definitely affected energy levels, at least for me. Although it *is* an ongoing issue (problem? style? personality?) that I tend to be very mellow in my dancing.

Originally Posted by ssipes

Thanks for the comments Tabitha and Katja.

I don't really choreograph; it just doesn't work for me any more for my solo performances. In this case, I choreographed a few combos at the beginning in the masmoudi section, and to me these were some of the weaker parts, whereas parts purely improvised in the moment (that I didn't know I had done until I watched it) were some of the better parts.

The other thing going on was I was concerned about using the space so I think I was at times thinking about where I need to go on the stage, not so much about what movement to do. That is something I'm still working on in terms of improvisational skills, that is not an issue in smaller venues.

Lastly the sound could not be heard well on the stage and I think this definitely affected energy levels, at least for me. Although it *is* an ongoing issue (problem? style? personality?) that I tend to be very mellow in my dancing.

OK, I understand

I think that the fact that you were concerned with covering the stage and the fact that you where improvising in combination gives the feeling that your transistions aren´t that smooth. I have the same problem with improv sometimes, you start doing something, and suddenly you just don´t feel the music . Or you don´t feel the audience,f:: I normally tend to feel awkward and start rushing from one thing from another

I wish I had some clips of me, I could use some feedback also, it´s so important for growth. I`m really impressed with everyone here being so brave and share. I love to look at others dancing..l;,

Hi, Sedonia!

I liked your big, soft hip circles. :)

I know the arms and hands are the most difficult thing for me, and many dancers. I think it would help polish your dance if you held your shoulders back and down a little more, and paid a little more attention to your arm positions and transitions. Like Aziza says, "be aware of the pathway to the position." Arms and hands could maybe benefit from a little more tension as well.

Of course, just my opinion. :) Hopefully I will have a video soon as well, and all of you can help me out. I'm sure I'll find many issues with my arms and hands when I get my video back. It's so much easier to remember arms and hands when I am at home practicing in front of a mirror. I'd love to have a mirror genie who followed me around while I danced so I could always see what I look like when I'm doing it. :)

Huh, my post didn't go through yesterday.
I know that constructive criticism is more useful but can I just say your dancing is beautiful and I loved watching your clips?
also this costume is a great fit - makes me want to try out wearing dresses.

Originally Posted by gotraqs

I know the arms and hands are the most difficult thing for me, and many dancers. I think it would help polish your dance if you held your shoulders back and down a little more, and paid a little more attention to your arm positions and transitions. Like Aziza says, "be aware of the pathway to the position." Arms and hands could maybe benefit from a little more tension as well.

I agree with this...it's the one thing that struck me as you were dancing but I wasn't quite sure how to explain it. Tension in the arms, and having arm movements initiate from the upper back. This takes a lot of work to fix (I've been working on it for over a year now). It helps to keep the chest open and lifted, but I think that's one of the final hurdles that takes dancers from really good to GREAT! :)

i love the dress. and your technique is very good. My only thing is the entrance. i don't like to see dancings just walk on stage and stand waiting for the music. what if it messes up then you're just standing there. i think maybe with this piece you could have walked out slowly while doing the arms. or you could wait until it speeds up to make a more exciting entrance. i was just taught to make the entrance and exit exciting and always start off stage if you can.

Originally Posted by rakgirl

i love the dress. and your technique is very good. My only thing is the entrance. i don't like to see dancings just walk on stage and stand waiting for the music. what if it messes up then you're just standing there. i think maybe with this piece you could have walked out slowly while doing the arms. or you could wait until it speeds up to make a more exciting entrance. i was just taught to make the entrance and exit exciting and always start off stage if you can.

Yes, Rakgirl, I understand what you are saying. It seems like I am drawn to classical pieces of Egyptian music that don't have an obvious prelude and entrance section. In this case I love the piece because it is played by a very small ensemble in which only 2-3 instruments are involved at any moment, and I wanted to be very connected to each instrument. My vision for that taqsim beginning was to have a relaxed shimmy start strongly with the very first strum of the oud and then have that going constantly while I otherwise interpreted the violin with flowing movements. The taqsim is a minute long almost so I wanted to build it slowly -- that was the motivation behind starting with one hand, but I realize the whole thing didn't quite live up to my vision.

I also thought about cutting the taqsim off altogether, but I truly hate cutting music. It's almost like chopping up a painting so it will fit in a frame, or breaking off a piece of a sculpture so it will fit in a particular niche.

Sedonia,

Everyone sees things differently of course, so here's what I noticed.

First, great color on you and I loved your peaceful start to the performance. Sometimes just standing and holding your space is very powerful - it seemed - though it's video of course - that you drew me in with your quietness.

hands - very tough. i have that sort of "dead hand" thing going on too so I don't know how to tell you to remedy it. it's not awful but it's something to work on.

Personally, I would have liked for you to have really sunk into the movements in the opening taqsim because i felt catching every nuance was just not necessary all the time. Carrying a bit more of the quiet strength into that as opposed to hitting it all would probably work well. (of course I don't mean stand there throughout - just milk the music a bit more).