Thread: anyone as OCD as me?

so I want to brush up on the basics with some instructional videos. I finally sit down to organize a plan of attack, and realize that I won't feel comfortable unless I own and master every instructional video in my genre. Looks like I need to enhance my collection to the tune of about $500 before I can begin.

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

I don't think is OCD. IMO, you're using perfectionism as a way to procrastinate and not get started any time soon.

Originally Posted by Athallia

I don't think is OCD. IMO, you're using perfectionism as a way to procrastinate and not get started any time soon.

OMG, I do this ALL the time!! Like, if I don't have time to move all the furniture and vacuum under it (or whatever) I won't even bother to straighten up the living room...

It's the bad side of perfectionism, and why some of us Virgos are slobs instead of neatnicks.

Are you sure I'm not really you?!?!..g.:

I do that all the time. I do hate to admit but I think Athallia hit the nail on the head. ..l;,

Originally Posted by Lauren_

OMG, I do this ALL the time!! Like, if I don't have time to move all the furniture and vacuum under it (or whatever) I won't even bother to straighten up the living room....

..l;, ..l;, ..l;,

I love it... maybe this is my husband's problem....

Originally Posted by aamel_MirahAmmal

..l;, ..l;, ..l;,

I love it... maybe this is my husband's problem....

..l;, No, I think men just honestly don't *see* messes -- or don't see them as their responsibility in any way....

Originally Posted by Athallia

I don't think is OCD. IMO, you're using perfectionism as a way to procrastinate and not get started any time soon.

ouch!

:) Seriously, I do think there's some truth to that, but that's not the whole explanation for me, at least. I seem to be like this in other areas, too. For example, when I want to own something new that I don't know much about, I shop and educate myself about every option before deciding. So I want to have the perfect basic technique, and don't trust just one lone source to give it to me. I want to balance it with other perspectives I respect before I decide what is the "right" way according to my studies.

There's also a fear factor going on that paralyzes us perfectionists and therefore initiates procrastination - right now I'm having the fear of having to find out I learned it wrong again, so I'm overly cautious.

Originally Posted by joanneraks

ouch!

:) Seriously, I do think there's some truth to that, but that's not the whole explanation for me, at least. I seem to be like this in other areas, too. For example, when I want to own something new that I don't know much about, I shop and educate myself about every option before deciding. So I want to have the perfect basic technique, and don't trust just one lone source to give it to me. I want to balance it with other perspectives I respect before I decide what is the "right" way according to my studies.

There's also a fear factor going on that paralyzes us perfectionists and therefore initiates procrastination - right now I'm having the fear of having to find out I learned it wrong again, so I'm overly cautious.

Fear is one of the main reasons people procrastinate (the other two being wanting to do it all and being overwhelmed by it all). There's fear of making a mistake (common fear though we're humans and hence make mistakes), fear of unpleasant tasks, fear of failure, a fear of success, fear of being judged (if you don't start there's nothing to judge), fear of change, fear of having to live up to a high standard... and yadda yadda yadda just check out "The Procrastinator's Handbook" by Rita Emmett it's all there.

This goes for you too Lauren and all the other procrastinators on Bhuz. I'm not a Virgo but I LOVE making lists and only clean when I have the whole day, like today. Now I'm overwhelmed by it all and won't have time to finish tonight.

Try selling a house to this type of personality. I call them the "engineers" They feel they must have every question answered (question...what is the length of this bathtub? answer...get in and find out...) before they can make a logical decision based on all the facts. After over thinking everything...they go with their gut anyway....hense the slogan...Just Do It....or in my line of work....just buy it!

Originally Posted by Michelle75

Are you sure I'm not really you?!?!..g.:

I do that all the time. I do hate to admit but I think Athallia hit the nail on the head. ..l;,

Oh no me too! and I just purchased 2 more DVDs and now await their arrival so they to can languish in the BD DVD shelf,r:;

Well, as a recovering prefectionist, i have learned that I can decide thst it's okay to leave the kitchen floor dirtyeven though I have cleaned the rest of the kitchen if I need to get to my homework. becaue the dirty floor will still be there after I have turned in my paper. But my paper has a time line!

As for the discovering that I have learned it wrong, fear is an interesting thing. One, we know thatin this dance there is few ways which are 'wrong' unless it's somethign which will hurt you. Or the reputation of the dance. but both of htose are open to interpitation. So it's okay to let that go.

As a Coach, one of the things I tell my clients all the time is to try things which make you uncomfortable. this helps to change the patterns which you ahve deveolped over time and are no longer serving you to their fullest. For me, it's sitting down and doing my homework instead of allowing the dirty kitchen floor to take on a life of its own and calling me.

doesn't always work, but sometimes. . .

{{{HUGS}}}

It's funny, I remember when I was making the decision to learn about this dance. I gave myself permission to try something and have fun, even if it meant I would look like a fool. I knew it would make me feel good anyway. I need to remember that you only live once more often. Better to try and fail (or try and make some adjustments as you learn more) than to never try at all.

Athallia - those fears you listed are definitely plaguing me.

I'm going to start working with what I already have in my collection, but you might see me on the swap meet trying to find a way to afford the rest... :)

oh, the kitchen floor being dirty always gets me.. I never get outside and go on a hike or what have you because I am too worried about making sure the house is clean before life begins... goofy thing is I don't want to change, I just want to find a way to keep the house up better so I can actually leave it sometimes. ok so I have issues. :)

Originally Posted by Lauren_

OMG, I do this ALL the time!! Like, if I don't have time to move all the furniture and vacuum under it (or whatever) I won't even bother to straighten up the living room...

It's the bad side of perfectionism, and why some of us Virgos are slobs instead of neatnicks.

I can so relate to this. If I can't have the perfect martha stewart backyard, why bother moving the kids bikes or the mr. turtle pool full of grime?!

Perhaps a useful way to do this would be to ask fellow Bhuzzers in your genre what are their top three DVDs for learning & practicing good technique, then buy at least one of the recommended DVDs over the next two or three months. I have some DVDs I actually use which I bought from recommendations & reviews. So that is a good thing, even though I also bought a lot which I don't like & don't use, or liked ok but only used once. The important thing (I think) is to decide on a minimum amount of dance practice time (&/or other exercise) & actually to dance that amount of time per wk. Then you will feel better, & who cares about the house! (Of course, I have the reverse problem. I do not take adequate care of my house. I am totally anal about getting my minimum exercise. Mix us up together & you might have one normal person.)

Originally Posted by joanneraks

goofy thing is I don't want to change, I just want to find a way to keep the house up better so I can actually leave it sometimes. ok so I have issues. :)

It's called a maid or cleaning service..l;, and when you figure out how to afford it, let me know 'cause I'm the same way...although not as bad as I used to be. I don't clean the "seam" between the floor and the baseboard with a toothbrush any more

Originally Posted by joanneraks

It's funny, I remember when I was making the decision to learn about this dance. I gave myself permission to try something and have fun, even if it meant I would look like a fool. I knew it would make me feel good anyway. I need to remember that you only live once more often. Better to try and fail (or try and make some adjustments as you learn more) than to never try at all.

Athallia - those fears you listed are definitely plaguing me.

I'm going to start working with what I already have in my collection, but you might see me on the swap meet trying to find a way to afford the rest... :)

Oh good, I had to go into Manhattan and spent a big chunk of my train ride obsessing that I had turned what was meant to be a light-hearted thread into a serious discussion about procrastination. But I guess it was useful after all. Talk about obsessive behavior, I obsess over the smallest thing.

Regarding putting off learning dance: I think it's a lack of faith and desire for immediate gratification thing for me. With housecleaning, for example, (or with chocolate for that matter) - I get immediate satisfaction and reward. With dance practice, it takes many hours of frustration and confusion before any small success occurs, and I don't feel confident that I even understand clearly what path I need to take. So I delay starting, and try to collect data from others that have gone before until I believe it is truly possible. And then I hang out on bhuz and see if anyone else is weird like me, so I can feel better about it.

Regarding my desire to study every source I feel is trustworthy: I'm ok with this, the more I think about it. I don't literally want to buy every Basic Bellydance video ever made, or take a workshop from every pro dancer in existence. But I do have a list of several in mind that I feel are a "must" for me. I feel like I'd be missing a very valuable perspective if I ignored what so-and-so had to offer.

Don't worry Athallia, your comment made me think and I like that!

It's always the awareness that is the biggest hurdle to overcome, I think.

Many people go through life completely unconscious. That is not you, though.

Whatever you do, give yourself permission.

P.S. yes, OCD and perfectionist here, too... ,f::
Can't do anything that involves organization unless there is daylight.