Thread: Student-teacher interaction

Hi

What does Bhuz think is the sort of etiquette a student should adopt with his/her teacher? I mean this in terms of general manners and interaction.

This is a small thing but regularly ties me up in knots of uncertainty.

To give a bit of background, I was raised to always mind my 'Ps and Qs' and to strive not to be selfish. As a result I have always tried to make a point in the past of thanking a teacher for a class. I also try really hard to be helpful around class with any basic fetching and carrying/housekeeping that a teacher may need an extra pair of hands for.

Sadly, my intentions often seem to get misconstrued. I think this is because I have a very shy personality but I take my dancing very seriously. As a result, I think many people find it hard to equate someone who they perceive as 'intense' with someone who is trying to be pleasant.


To my mind, the ideal balance is to be friendly and courteous to teachers and fellow classmates without necessarily buying into any cliques, giving off stalker vibes or seeming over pushy.

I'd love to hear what others think about this sort of student-teacher interaction. What are the big no-nos? Where are the boundaries?

In class, I tend to mind my own business. I won't correct people, because it's not my job and I don't want to feel like I'm showing up or trying to override the class.

I usually try to ask my teachers questions if I have them. I enjoy talking to them, but I don't go all fangirl on them or try to become BFF unless it naturally happens. I had a Bharatanatyam teacher I bonded with quite a bit, but that took time and several trips to see dancers.

I take my cue by how the teacher interacts with her students. Some teachers I have had have been very closed off. I went to class, took it, than left. The teacher I have right now is a close friend. It just sort of happened and she is close with many of her students. Especially the ones who perform in her troupe. If you spend a lot of time with people of a common interest it is natural to befriend them through the years.

I think it's nice to thank your teacher at the end of each class! Too often, students don't give their teacher any feedback (good or bad) and it's hard for the teacher to know how things are going. So a thank-you or feedback is great. It can also be appreciated if you help pack up or carry her stuff. However, I'd offer to do this but not insist.

I find teaching a very 'giving' profession, and sometimes I'm pretty spent at the end of the class and need to close myself off a bit. I also like to take my time packing up and don't want to feel I have to rush because someone's helping me. So, while I'd appreciate an offer of help, I wouldn't enjoy a student insisting they hang around for me. Similarly, I'm not super-keen on socialising with my students lots out of class - I feel like I have to be in work-mode and again, I need to time to be away from that. Finally, I don't like teachers who favour particular students, and subsequently feel a bit funny about being overly friendly with one. If a student pushes the interaction too far it can put me in an awkward position of seeming to favour them. I do have friendships that I've developed with my more advanced students, and really love that, but it took time to build.

So perhaps the best course is continue to be polite and helpful, but take a queue from the teacher and don't push things.

Originally Posted by jewelbellydance

I think it's nice to thank your teacher at the end of each class! Too often, students don't give their teacher any feedback (good or bad) and it's hard for the teacher to know how things are going. So a thank-you or feedback is great.

I fully agree!

Yup, it's nice to be thanked but I think anyone who's "out there" - as in up the front of a class or on a stage or whatever - gets supersensitive "stalkerdar" and sometimes if someone seems overly helpful, the 'dar gives off a wee twinge. It's because often in classes you will get people who are quite unhappy, or unwell, who just glom on to belly dance and get quite obsessive and creepy - and sometimes that can extend to the teacher. I've seen it happen to my own teacher twice. Shades of Single White Female. I think it's really common for women to get "girlcrushes" where they want to be "just like" a woman they admire and sometimes that can go too far - "I want to hav a belly dance school too, and teach these classes, and watch me correct people in class in exactly the way you just did, oh and do you like my new hair colour that is identical to yours, and hey, here are some diamond earrings!"

Trouble is a perfectly OK person who happens to come across rather intense can twinge the stalkerdar too. It's weird, I have some students who are incredibly helpful - always put things away, help out with lots of things - and they somehow manage to do it really unobtrusively and unscarily. They just come across as nice. They're all pretty well adjusted, I guess. Don't hang around too long, don't ask personal questions is my tip.

It's a tough road for the shy - because the flip side is, you might be frightened that you are coming across all intense and crazy, but actually not be at all.

As someone who has had bad experiences with stalker students in the past, I am now pretty careful about keeping professional distance when it comes to students. I love my students but am way more cautious now. There are some strange/ troubled people out there. .w.: It's hard because you don't want to seem too distant but you also don't want to open the door to problems either. I admire people who can be so giving and open.

I am quite friendly and open with my students, and luckily I've never gotten a stalker vibe from any of them. I should probably add "so far" to that statement, huh?

I can relate to having the occasional over-enthusiastic student who come across a little needy - frequent emails, coming early/staying after class to chat, wanting to know where I bought every single costume I own, etc. I can get a little annoyed with them from time to time, but it's never translated over to fear or discomfort. I know I've said this before, but ironically, these are often the same students who take 3 or 4 classes and then disappear off the face of the earth. So sometimes when they're glomming on a bit, I just tell myself I won't have to put up with it for long, and I'm usually right.

Oh, and I'm ITA with jewelbellydance and Queenie - I love it when people thank me for class, clap at the end of the cool down, or even just toss a "That was SO much fun!" at me as they make their way out the door. Sometimes I'll think no one is enjoying the class because the students are quiet, but sometimes it's just because they're concentrating on what I'm teaching. It's always funny for me when someone has an expression I read as negative on their face for most of the class, but then they come over at the end smiling and bubbling over about what a great time they had.

I'm glad that the teachers here like being thanked. I generally write thank you notes to all the teachers who I enjoy (belly dance and non). At the end of a summer, I merely in person thanked a teacher I didn't particularly favor, and she seemed really uncomfortable with it.