Thread: Lebanese Engagement Party???

Hi friends-I hope this is in the right forum first of all :) It is a bit all over the place. But my main question is in the first paragraph..

I have recently been offered a gig for an engagement party for some friends of a Lebanese friend of mine (they are as well). He recommended me to them and gave me the contact info of the organizer. I have yet to contact this person because I had some questions, still waiting on my friend to call me back. But I am sure yall can help me!! First of all, are there any traditions that you all know of that happen at Arab engagement parties? I would like to be aware of them. I was planning on including cane and debke as part of my set (its 2 hours). This is kind of my first "organized" private party-I have done a lot of stage shows, sets at friends parties, and some restaurant work. I can do zills, veil, and sword as well. To be honest, my cane needs some work, but I have a month and am not working right now, so I can polish in that time if need be. Although I want to ask you all-do I HAVE to do cane? Maybe that is a stupid question.....I just want to get the party right. I definitely feel I am ready for this, its just nerve-wracking when you do that "first" one you know? Though technically, not a first....As far as music-I am going to discuss that with the organizer to see what he would like...

I have kinda searched the threads, but how many sets would you do at a private party in 2 hours? Also, this is in a city where i don't normally work (but would like to). It is necessary to contact a local professional and ask her rates, so I don't undercut, or should I just use what I was planning to charge based on dancers in my city (I think the rates would be similar)? Is it necessary for a private party to do this?

This is that time for me when I am making that step to *hopefully* getting gigs like this in the future, I have nice costumes now, nice professional photographs, and a website in progress (yikes I need to finish that NOW!). I am working on business cards. I will be teaching classes soon, have been practicing/studying/taking classes etc etc. It is an exciting time in my dance life, and I need some advice here ladies and gents. Thanks a bunch in advance....

The engagement parties that I've witnessed were almost like a baby shower, a wedding reception, and a bridal shower at once (if that makes sense). There was a lot of singing, dancing, eating, and hugging. The groom often presents his bride with jewelery and everyone is dressed up.

There is probably some footage on youtube. I'd take a peek there.

Have fun!

Here's a clip of Howaida Hachem doing cane. Not much to it here:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkVGd6o3X8U&feature=PlayList&p=A4A41455189 D21DC&index=15]YouTube - Howaida Hachem[/ame]

Here's a clip of Fifi Abdo doing cane in Lebanon:

doh, let's try this again:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqPL1tJAWRc"]YouTube - Fifi Cane routine[/ame]

Thanks for the videos Tamra! Very helpful!

You're dancing for 2 hours? Straight? Or you are doing 2 shows in a 2 hour period? I won't do a show longer than 45 minutes (30 is standard) but I'll do a second show at a slight discount if they ask.

You should definitely do cane. Lebanese love cane. But it really doesn't make sense to me to do debke for a belly dancer's show. That's not really belly dance music (sorry I don't like being a "right way wrong way" person but it does help to be clear on the customs and debke is not really ever a part of a belly dance show). I'm sure the dj or band will play debke for them after dinner.

If this is your first private party I really recommend you make a clear understanding with them about the length of your performance. Even with a sword piece and a cane piece you should probably not dance a set longer than 30 minutes and then if they want you for another set later tell them that's fine. It's just the professional way. Where I dance now the rate is 250 for a show and where I started it was 150. So that should give you an idea of the range.

Good luck! And practice that cane! Look for videos of Nadia Gamal. She is my favorite with stick.

Oh no-I would never dance for 2 hours straight lol! I should have said that the party was 2 hours, and how many sets should I do in this time. I have since spoken with the guy, he agreed to 2 15 minute sets. I was really peeved because when I gave him my price, he said, oh I just had a dancer at my restaurant drive from xxx and she charges waaaay less than that. To which I told him that usually private party rates are higher than restaurant gigs. (I don't know this dancer, but if she drove all the way from xxxx for waaay less than 250 she should be ashamed). I quoted him 250 since I would be driving an hour to get to the gig. If the same was in town I would charge 200-225. I knew I would NOT go lower than 200, to avoid any undercutting issues. We kind of went back and forth and finally I agreed on 200. I should have held firm-learning learning. I need to be tougher. I guess part of me was guilted into thinking that since this was my first gig, maybe I was trying to charge too much? I don't know. I also should set up a system where they put a deposit down before hand or paid before hand-another newbie mistake that I didn't realize beforehand. What should I do now that I have not requested this? The gig is July 19-I still have time, though he is out of the country till after July 7. What should I do?

And why, when he questioned the price, did I feel ashamed? I am so nonconfrontational, and try to please, but I know that's not gonna cut it if I am trying to be a businesswoman in the world of belly dance. Advice?

Sounds like you handled it well! 2 15 minute sets should be perfect. As far as dealing with quotes, I feel you on that. It takes a while to learn to be confident when quoting prices. There is nothing wrong with lowering your price slightly - people like to feel like they are getting a deal. But it's sometimes hard not to feel backed into a corner. I always have a Will Not Cross This Line price that I will occasionally go to but only if it feels right. You'll get better at feeling out your clients. There is nothing more ****ty than lowering your price for someone who bitches about how it's just too much and "come on honey" and then you get there and they are super loaded and the guy whips out a wad of hundreds from which he peels off 2 bills to pay you. Talk about gritting my teeth! I learned my lesson there!

So anyway in my experience--and I have heard every sob and bull**** story about budget and other dancers' prices--if you lose the occasional gig because they won't pay, don't worry, in the long run you'll get consistent people who *will* pay your price. And I'll give you my uniform line for people who tell me X dancer will dance for X much: "Well, that's great, but all the professional dancers in the area charge the same as me and if you want a high quality professional show that is what it costs." Of course, said as sweetly as possible!

Good luck! And really, DO CANE. Do a show with sword and a show with cane. But remember, once you break out the cane they won't let you put it away lol

Thank you Nadira-you made me feel better. I think it will get better with experience. I will definitely do cane! I have been practicing everyday and have scheduled some private lessons as well to brush up even more (of course if the day arrives and I don't feel confident I will stick to what I am comfortable with-but I am working hard to make sure that doesn't happen!)