Thread: Body Tiping?

Ok I have a question

Last night at my reg resturnat gig, I had a puzzling situation....

Ok Start dancing, first few songs NOTHING, then 4 people come in and the girl recognises me, aparently she must have been to a show before, they sit down and she opens her wallet and starts handing out the $ for tipping, they are having a great time, I usually let the girls tip in the bra, and the guys get the belt it is more fun and the wives usually get a good laugh out of it. Of course i play games with them like the poping of the hip while they try to tip etc.....Well the place if 1/2 full not bad for a holiday there is a table of obvioulsy young, attractive, single men behind me, one brought his son about 3 year old, cute little guy, even got up at one point and tried to dacne with me. They really liked the show as well, staying long after they had eaten and the tipping table left, 2 of the 4 guys pay, and leave the guy with the kid and his friend stay for 3 more songs (the last set) After the show i take my little bow and go thank the table with the 2 guys and kid for comming to the show, there is only one guy and the kid there the father is in the bathroom, The guys hands me a wad of cash, which i then stick my hip out and jiggle it at him playfully, and he gets all nervous and says where do you want me to put it, as if shaking my hip at him isnt enough, he then says "oh well i didnt know the girl usually holds her (knods to my belt) out, i said it ok go for it and then give him the wild catch the hip if you can shake) I am thinking this must be a stripper refference..... ok i get the cash and thank him and wave to the kid, and head to the bathroom to change, As im in the little mirrored area the loo opens up and out come the father, he chats for a bit, with the usual questions, how long, when do you dance next etc...Then he starts apologising about the cash, he said I dont want to be disrespectful, well DUH i was stuffed with $ how could i think it was disrespectful? So here is 1 question, has this happened to you and how do you deal with it, do you take the cash by hand? I remember seeing on secrets of the stage 2 that you are never supposed to pick up $ from the floor becuse it seams desperate, and I thought well is this the same? I defanatly didnt go to the table to get tipped just to say thanks for comming, the tipping is supposed to be part of the show part of the fun.....Ok thoughts

Cont....

Second question....

Last week I danced at the same resturant different customers....this time the place is packd and the whole place is into it. Every one is tipping I earned about $100 in tips that night and the place seats 20 max...My best table is a table of 5, 2 women in there mid 40s, a older woman and her husband then the really old man....They love the whole thing clapping loudly etc, well they start tipping and it was so much fun the older man tips, then the really old man tips with a little blush, then the women start, and when it is the older womans turn i let her tip in the bra, gettig the whole table in a uproar of laughter and then the older man, complaining that SHEEEEE gets to tip in the bra and not him....Very very funny and a good time, These people were a riot but here is where the question is....I am pretty good about making it clear that women can tip in the bra becuse they are women and men get the belt....Sorry fellas...but this older guy after about $20 really wanted to tip in the bra, his wife was sitting right and even shelling out the cash for him, (at one point he even yells across the room I think i love you!) So i give in and give him a shoulder, later he is sitting there waving a $5 wildely i head over and do the crazy shimmy hip... he pops up and perfectly places the $5 right there in the center of the bra cup. I was shocked and taken back, and handled it well I thought, did a little eye roll and shook the finger. I usually dont have this problem, I always say and did that night, the girls get to tip in the bra the guys get the belt, sorry fellas.....And though i did give in and give a sholder a shoulder is much different than a bra cup...So what do you do, is the only way to not have this happen to keep the tips to the belt for all genders? Any thoughts, tips, hints etc

Yes, I think for the only way to not let this happen is to have everyone tip in the belt. Otherwise the guys are gonna get jealous. I always thought the guys were supposed to shower the money at you or hand it to you. I did let a girl tip me in the belt, but not a guy. I think they get the wrong idea.

I have a cute, decorated basket I carry into the audience for tips. Safer, cleaner and no confusion. Years ago an adorable cherub (toddler), wanted to stuff pita with hummus in my costume. The family thought it was great fun - I was terrified his food-covered hands and the actual food might actual tough my beaded bedlah. That is the night I decided to totally forego tips in my costume. Plus I will do a bit of dancing with the basket on my head and even place it on the head of certain patrons - possibly the older gentleman you mentioned. (Use caution if anyone appears to be wearing a toupee - but that is another story.) It's also much safer than wrapping my lovely Akai veils around someone's head only to have to worry about them damaging it or possibly thinking it is OK to take the veil.

Wherever I go, I take the basket. I have several that decorated with ribbons, jewels, coins, etc. Some have lids. I use those for transporting items in my dance bag then use it for a prop. I check Thrift Stores, Yard Sales and Goodwill for inexpensive baskets to decorate. I prefer a taller basket, tips are less likely to spill. Ideal size for me is 4-6" tall.

I use a tamborine. I send it out with the youngest cutest troupe member present during the last song of the night, so they cant escape without being asked. I used to do it at the end..but so many patrons appeared to be in a great hurry to go off to their next appointment!

There are many opinions about tipping, and I have taken a tip a time or two in the costume, but it didnt feel right. I set the example for my younger troupe mebers and when they fly the nest they can choose to do it...but for now, I want to keep everybody respected and safe. Grandma has spoken!

Originally Posted by txchic

I have a cute, decorated basket I carry into the audience for tips. Safer, cleaner and no confusion. Years ago an adorable cherub (toddler), wanted to stuff pita with hummus in my costume. The family thought it was great fun - I was terrified his food-covered hands and the actual food might actual tough my beaded bedlah. That is the night I decided to totally forego tips in my costume. Plus I will do a bit of dancing with the basket on my head and even place it on the head of certain patrons - possibly the older gentleman you mentioned. (Use caution if anyone appears to be wearing a toupee - but that is another story.) It's also much safer than wrapping my lovely Akai veils around someone's head only to have to worry about them damaging it or possibly thinking it is OK to take the veil.

Wherever I go, I take the basket. I have several that decorated with ribbons, jewels, coins, etc. Some have lids. I use those for transporting items in my dance bag then use it for a prop. I check Thrift Stores, Yard Sales and Goodwill for inexpensive baskets to decorate. I prefer a taller basket, tips are less likely to spill. Ideal size for me is 4-6" tall.

that's a really good idea! do you think it would work for a party? or they are still going to throw the money all over the floor anyway?

Well, if I'm performing in an environment that patrons might not be aware of the significance of the basket (read that as anything outside a ME restaurant), I create a discreet sign. I use a fairly large font that is both pretty but easy to read, create a continuous 'TIP$$' sign on colored paper that will wrap around the basket and hold it in-place with a bit of glue and T-pins. (I do not penetrate the wood with the T-pins, I simply use the length of the pins to weave through the wood. They are long and the 'T' secures everything, never had one fall to the floor.) It has been successful for over a decade, plus no fear of anyone having grubby fingers soiling your costume. I do feel it establishes a level of respect and dignity for the dancer plus jealous, insecure women cannot become miffed because their guys are touching the dancer.

I do like the idea of a tambourine, too. Seems totally appropriate and functional. Might have to try that one. I do seem to have a fascination with baskets, though. Using them for TIP$$ has enabled me to justify my ever-growing collection of baskets. I use glitter paints, spray paint, glue-on jewels, etc to make oddities appropriate to gather monies.

when a tipper looks into my eyes and asks, "where would YOU like it?" i say, ,"in my hand".
..but i have never had a problem with body tipping..in fact, some resturant owners get very med and insulted if you will not accept body tips.at one place, you get fired.

You know, I was so young when I started dancing that I didn't know about strippers accepting tips in the <ahem> "costumes."

My mom accepted costume tips and I never thought too much about it for myself until one time at a party I got kinda groped. I was so mad I was seeing red; if I hadn't been performing with my mom, I might have hauled off and slugged the guy. These folks worked for the local police dept and some might have been peace officers! The girls were encouraging less-than-stellar behavior.

Yeah, like I was gonna steal a boyfriend out from under someone's nose at an engagement party . . . Sheesh!

I still accept costume tips, on the sides of my belt primarily, and I have never had another experience like that over the past 25 years or so.

I believe a tip basket carried through the audience would be wonderful, especially if you can balance it on your head at least part of the time.

Money showers? Anytime I have danced where I received a money shower (restaurant or party) someone has always picked up the tips and given them to me as soon as possible. Never been an issue but, of course, there is a first time for everything!

Good luck with this, Annwyn . . . it can certainly be a conumdrum.

Deborah

I wouldn't be worried that body tipping was like stripping... im not saying that at all. I just don't like guys touching me cause there's always bound to be at least one pervert.

I'm not so keen on body tipping, and I think it comes across in how I dance. I don't hustle over for people waiving dollar bills...it interrupts the flow of what I'm trying to present. I do accept them in the side of the belt from well-behaved customers, but generally shun bra tips from both male and female customers (although I was unexpectedly groped once by a woman - a grandma even!). If getting full around the hips, I don't mind if someone tastefully slides a bill under a shoulder strap.

I prefer "other" kinds of tips. I've had lots of people just hand me money (if this happens while dancing, I just tuck it in and keep going), put it on the table and slide it across, send it back with the waiter after the show, or stop by on their way out to give their regards and some bills. Those are the tips that feel more like true appreciation to me, rather than just tipping because it's traditional (or copping a feel, in some cases).

And, on the rare occasion that I go out to talk to customers before or after I dance (or if they come back to see me) I always have a full cover-up on; body-tipping after the fact would not be an issue.

Hi, I'll weigh in here. I feel like the appropriate manner for tipping bellydancers is "making it rain" money over your head....not throwing it in your face, but tossing it or fanning it overhead. I also think it is perfectly appropriate for someone to hand it to me, in which case I take it by hand, thank them, then tuck it in my belt. I will let women tip in my belt. I will NOT let anyone tip in my bra. Period. Unless it's my momma.

I agree with Nasila about the coverup. I often thank tables after I dance (especially regulars!!) but I always wear a coverup. I will take it off for pictures, if someone asks, then I put it back on.

I don't pick up money off the floor. I either politely ask a server if they'll get it for me, or I ask a friend (female) to get it for me. I was taught it isn't classy to pick it up yourself. Sometimes the drummer will go around & pick it up for me.

Like Nasila--I've been groped by women before, so I'd rather just not allow bra tipping at all!

Well, that came off a bit snobby, sorry...I meant to convey that tipping is traditional and fun for the audience, as long as you do it with respect for yourself. To me, that means the farther away people are from my half-nekkid body, the better! ;)

ETA Uh, Sonja you and I were typing at the same time. I re-read my own post and was referring to it as snobby, not yours! ;OP

No problem! I hope mine doesnt sound snobby, either! I just have had a couple of hands try & head where they don't belong....like on my $$$$ costumes!! ;-) So I prefer to see that money fly through the air!

My audences are mostly japaneese and american I dont think any one would even consider a shower, though the tambourine is an awsome idea, To me in such a small place I would feel like it was begging, since im the only dancer and I dont have a troup or some one to send out....Ok so I think I am going to nix the bra tipping all toegther, I dont mind the belt at all....

Re: thanking after the show and cover up.....

I want to point out here, that I do always wear a cover up, but when i mentioned above that I walked over to the table to say thank you, I literaly turned to my left and took 2 (max) steps and was suppoised to say thank you on my way to the back to cover up.....This particular time it didnt happen this way since he started making a big deal.....So maybe even a thank you on the way out can cause trouble, Note to self even if patron is in reaching distance, go cover up then come back.....

I dont have a troup or some one to send out

Good point.

Wear coordinating costume arm bands or gauntlets. It's very hard to "get the wrong idea" with putting a tip in an arm band.

I've heard that some states have "no touch" laws. Anyone have more info about this?

Originally Posted by kiyaana

Wear coordinating costume arm bands or gauntlets. It's very hard to "get the wrong idea" with putting a tip in an arm band.

I've heard that some states have "no touch" laws. Anyone have more info about this?

I have heard that as well, but dont know anything about it. I am pretty sure okinawa doesnt have one.....

Annwyn, you can always take the cash in your hand and tuck it in somewhere yourself, with no worries about looking desperate. It just looks discreet. I do sometimes take tips in an armband, sleeve, or side of belt, but I definitely wouldn't encourage someone to touch me or my costume if they were nervous or reluctant about it. It has to be their idea.

Originally Posted by kiyaana

Wear coordinating costume arm bands or gauntlets. It's very hard to "get the wrong idea" with putting a tip in an arm band.

I've heard that some states have "no touch" laws. Anyone have more info about this?

I think Virginia might. I've been told by some male friends that there's no body tipping in strip clubs here in VA.

I don't think that taking the tips in your hand looks desparate - I think in a lot of cases it shows true appreciation and respect " I want to tip you, but I don't want you to think that I just want to touch your body" - usually these guys look me straight in the eyewhile handing me the money. I definitely appreciate it. Other reasons are: they don't know what to do or feel awkward, shy about it, and don't want to look foolish - I take the money and thank them. Or the girlfriend is sitting next to them, and you can tell that the poor guy just doesn't want trouble. I thank the lady, then the guy and smile at the lady again.

Originally Posted by kiyaana

I've heard that some states have "no touch" laws. Anyone have more info about this?

It actually varies from municipality to municipality. I have danced in a club here in LA which had a no touching the dancer policy. We didn't follow it too closely because then no one was tipping.

I don't have problems with body tipping. The bra is off limits unless you are an eighty year old Persian lady with a $100 bill (yes, it has happened) and even then, I make a big comedic deal out of it.

I have only been groped twice - once by a woman and once by one of the only American males at an Armenian engagement party. Go figure.

*Interesting side note: the only guys who got up and danced with me were unmarried men. Haven't figured out if this is "normal"

Safest bet, if you are going to take tips, and you are willing to take them on body, is to stick to the belt. If someone hands you money, you can always take it and put it where ever you like! One dancer I know puts all money handed to her in her shoulder straps. It seems to work foor her.

{{{HUGS}}}

Ah, check out the move at 3:35...
[ame=http://youtube.com/watch?v=BArX6G-JaJw]YouTube - Egyptian - Belly Dancer[/ame]

awsome........and cute too

Originally Posted by Zana

Annwyn, you can always take the cash in your hand and tuck it in somewhere yourself, with no worries about looking desperate. It just looks discreet. I do sometimes take tips in an armband, sleeve, or side of belt, but I definitely wouldn't encourage someone to touch me or my costume if they were nervous or reluctant about it. It has to be their idea.

This is what I do if someone's looking at me with the "Where do I put it?" .w.: look on their face. I just take it in my hand and stuff it in the belt myself.

I don't take tips in my bra at all. I don't think it's necessarily fair to treat the women and men differently, especially since I've seen some "girl's night out" craziness that make a lot of the male patrons look tame. If someone asks (like a potential client), I usually say I prefer not to take tips in the bra lest someone tugging on my costume cause an inadvertent costume malfunction. If my belt falls off, at least I've still got coverage; if the bra goes, it's no longer a family friendly event. If an audience member tries to approach my bra top, I just redirect them to my belt. I've not had it happen, but I'd walk away from a tip if the only place they would put it is in my top.

I don't think there's anything wrong with other dancers taking tips in their bedlah top, I just prefer not to do it myself.

For the first question (the guy wanted to give you money but didn't want to put it in your costume)...
If the place had someone who would pick up my tips, I would tell him about money showers. If the place didn't, I would take it in my hand and secure it in my strap or something. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable, but clearly he wanted to give me money so I'd want to take it.

I don't let anyone tip in the front of the bra. Even if a lady does it, I take it out and move it to the strap and say "Don't worry honey, I just don't want other people to think they can do that, okay?"

I agree with Nepenthe. Some people prefer to hand you a tip discretely after your show. There's no disrespect or desperateness by taking the tip in the hand.

Nisila, I love that move!! I'll have to give it a try the next time someone is aiming for the girls!! ..l;,

Make everyone tip in the belt only, and if they are confused, take it in your hand. It doesn't look desperate if they are already offering you the money, and you just accept it in your hand. IMHO, it does look desperate for you to bring a container specifically to go out and ask for tips, no matter how pretty the container is decorated. I've never seen that in my area, and I'd be pretty turned off if I was at a restaurant and the dancer actually came around expecting tips.

I would agree, it's less confusing to just take tips in the belt. I also occasionally take them in the back of the bra strap, as it seems less intimidating to people. That way no one will get the wrong idea that it's ok to jam something down your bra cup.

Originally Posted by Nepenthe

For the first question (the guy wanted to give you money but didn't want to put it in your costume)...
If the place had someone who would pick up my tips, I would tell him about money showers. If the place didn't, I would take it in my hand and secure it in my strap or something. I wouldn't want to make him uncomfortable, but clearly he wanted to give me money so I'd want to take it.

I take it nicely and tell the person I'll put it with the other tips, even if that means on the floor--I smile nicely at them to make sure they know I'm not just throwing their money away and promise them I'll get the money at the end. I think if you put it in your shoulder strap, that's very potentially signaling to other patrons, especially those who didn't see the interchange, that you're ok with body tipping.

One of my first public gigs I let a female friend, the organizer of the event, comedically tip me in the bra, and then had to evade a groping gentleman for the rest of my set--I learned my lesson hard and fast!