Thread: Criticism vs. personal taste of style

Okay I am curious to know what other dancers here thinkg about this issue or how they handle it.

Whenever it comes to non-dancing people who would criticize a dancer, how do you approach them or what do you say in response?

For example: I have a Turkish friend who is used to seeing Turkish bellydancers whose style is very different from mine which is either Cabaret Egyptian or folkloric using pros such as cane or sword. He has seen some of my dance clips and very openly criticizes either my moves or my outfit or etc.

I do welcome constructive criticism and always think of what I can do to better my performance the next time I use the same song. That is why I like to watch my clips (even if sometimes I hate them) to see what I can do better.

But with this friend, I feel as though I am being brought down; and to my surprise I feel insulted. Is this normal? How would you handle a friend's personal dislikes or views of your dance?

Thanks!!!
Goldie

With clarity...

When one is biased toward, teaches or is culturally used to one/a specific style of dance they are not qualified to critique a different dance style.

Hmm, how good a "friend" is this? Is there a cultural difference other than the dance style going on, like a language barrier? This seems like rude behavior, not a loving friends' behavior. Maybe you can just tell him you will have to agree to disagree on this one and please stop the hurtful comments.

i had an egyptian co worker tear apart one of my performances that i decided to show him on youtube. boy, was it hurtful. it was very nitpicky and rude. his english isnt the greatest, but he also commented on every little thing. but he also based his opinions on egyptian dancing. i'm not really egyptian styled (more leb/turkish). but he did say, "you have pretty good hips for a foreigner"
thanks man, thanks.

Something to be aware of in a lot of Middle Eastern culture, particularly with Arabs, though this may be true of some Turks as well, there is a tendency to want to lower other people as a form of power play.

A criticism may have very little to do with your dancing and more with their trying to establish their superiority over you. Even in complements, there is often a component of putting people in their place. I've found it is more common than not for an Arab audience member to complement my dancing only by comparing me to and putting down another dancer.

Is the person criticizing you a trained expert on Oriental dance? Do they have a true desire to understand what you do and help you improve with constructive feedback? If not, I'd tell whomever it is to take a hike, because their feedback is close to meaningless for you. They are trying to make themselves important, they are not trying o help you to improve your dancing. Not to mention, just because they are from the Middle East, that doesn't mean they know what they are talking about.

With kindness. Sometimes you find out if that person really is your friend by the way they criticize you. You have to wonder how much of a friend they are when they are constantly finding fault with you. I've had to examine a couple of relationships because of this. I didn't like what I found.

BTW, none of these people I had this with is on Bhuz, not even lurkers.

Once, when I let something like this get to me, I turned the tables. The person showing his ignorance was involved in business of which I knew I knew little about - but I knew enough to "critique" the industry - what it was doing to society; better techniques for manufacture; even the company logo. He got the point.

Realistically your choices are to educate or ignore. The latter is often easier.

Shems is so right. Also, its not often regarded as cruel to do this type of behavior. Its just a "One up man ship" that is pretty much done from gradeschool.

Yay Ksshmir! Great way to get your point across.