Thread: Very nice article on gilded serpent

The last restaurant I danced in the owner (and I find men are usually more guilty of this than women) tried to shame me into taking a gig 'down the street' for 'tips.'

He gradually started turning up the temperature on his request. When I turned him down firmly he started saying things like 'Everything is not about money you know.' I should've asked if the patrons were paying for their food with kindness. Or if he was cooking for them out of love and didn't intend to charge them anything but 'tips.'

Anyways, he eventually told people from the party to come to the restaurant to come and get me. I just smiled and said 'Nice to meet you' and that was all.

He left the restaurant in a storm. I never danced there again. And I won't. And I feel even better about myself for knowing my worth.

There is nothing shameful about making money or asking for what you are worth. I don't know why women especially have attached this embarassment to making an income, but I'm getting over it because I deserve better. If I want to afford costumes and lessons and workshops and travel then I'd better charge correctly.

I wish all restaurant owners felt that way. (Proud of the dancers that work in their establishment.) I was paid a decent wage in my local restaurant until another dancer offered less. Now she is his regular dancer. He has called and has asked me to accept less for my shows. Every time we talk about wages he says I am too expensive. I was only charging him $75.00 a night. So how much is the other dancer working for? $15.00 -$20.00 a show!
Unfortunately, he is the only restaurant in town so now I am trying to find other venues and I am not having a whole lot of luck.

Originally Posted by helenasdance

I wish all restaurant owners felt that way. (Proud of the dancers that work in their establishment.) I was paid a decent wage in my local restaurant until another dancer offered less. Now she is his regular dancer. He has called and has asked me to accept less for my shows. Every time we talk about wages he says I am too expensive. I was only charging him $75.00 a night. So how much is the other dancer working for? $15.00 -$20.00 a show!
Unfortunately, he is the only restaurant in town so now I am trying to find other venues and I am not having a whole lot of luck.

,m:: ,m:: ,m:: ,m:: ,m:: ,m::
that is so infuriating.
That other dancer I am sure, couldn't get the job any other way, now he wants his good dancer back, 'you" and wants you to accept less.
Tell him to take a hike!
Hold your ground, $75 a night is peanuts. He'll come around eventually.
You should ask him what the other dancer is charging.

We get $65 for one show $85 for two now in Denver and that's a big deal!

Thank you Maria. He is driving me crazy. He would pay me $75.00 for two 20 minute shows and he paid me $150.00 on New years for the same amount of time. He said he had dancer that had offered to dance for less. He found one.
He recently called me and asked me to dance for less. He then asked me if my price would drop if I did not use my sword or zills. UGH!
It is a shame because he is the only restaurant in town so now I have to get creative and search out some new venues. I don't mind traveling but I would not have to travel so much if I had a regular gig in my area again.
I am sticking to my guns. No worries there. I am just so frustrated.

I recently bumped into someone who spoke about fixing me up with gigs. I gave her my card, and thought 'sigh, I'm going to have to have another argument with someone about not doing fee gigs, I don't know if I can be bothered.' I know that one dancer in this area has done free gigs for this person already...darn it...

Originally Posted by helenasdance

Thank you Maria. He is driving me crazy. He would pay me $75.00 for two 20 minute shows and he paid me $150.00 on New years for the same amount of time. He said he had dancer that had offered to dance for less. He found one.
He recently called me and asked me to dance for less. He then asked me if my price would drop if I did not use my sword or zills. UGH!
It is a shame because he is the only restaurant in town so now I have to get creative and search out some new venues. I don't mind traveling but I would not have to travel so much if I had a regular gig in my area again.
I am sticking to my guns. No worries there. I am just so frustrated.

that is frustrating.
would he charge less for dinner if he didn't use salt or pepper?
You need to ask him that......
good luck!

Originally Posted by eshe

When I turned him down firmly he started saying things like 'Everything is not about money you know.'

that's so annoying!! It's true, not everything is about money. But the gigs that are not about money are where the dancer has complete artistic freedom, etc etc. Like, if the dancer is going to do something for free, why would it be a kabob house gig where some demanding jerk gets to boss everyone around? Oh, so fulfilling!

Most of us are definitely not interested in dancing in a grubby restaurant for peanuts! These owners will low ball even their nearest and dearest. It's all a game for them. I also felt like there was an element from owners that I should just take what they offered because women just have to take it from men in general--they have the upper hand, in some of their minds, simply because they are men.