Thread: EEEEEK! Lost my gig - anybody needs honest sub - here I am!

Okay... the worst thing that could happen besides having a costume part fall off during a performance, or losing your cane while dancing... I showed up to dance at my regular restaurant gig... and another dancer showed up. It was terrible. The restaurant owners were brushing me off when I tried to confirm my gig the week before, lying to me, telling me that it was slow, etc. Then I showed up last night, was told that it was too slow for me to dance they offered to give me gas money and a complimentary dinner. While I was waiting at the bar, another dancer walked into the restaurant. I went into the office and introduced myself and asked her if she was a dancer. She said "yes". I walked down a couple of stores to the bar where the owner was having a drink to talk to him, and was assured that this happened while he was out of town and he knew nothing about it... right. He said that dancer just keeps showing up. I had my suspicions. I tried to get him to be honest with me and he assured me that the "other dancer would not be dancing either as it was slow." When I returned to the restaurant, there she was dancing. All the restaurant employees that I've known for years, were just starring at me... I felt so humiliated and embarassed. I think they felt bad for me but couldn't do anything about it. I saw the girl's business card in the office the week prior and thought something was up.

Despite how I feel, I needed that gig. I lost my full time job in Feb. and have three kids (single mom). If there are any dancers who have regular jobs in the O.C. area, Long Beach, or surrounding areas and ever need a sub, I'm available and I will never try to steal your gig. I'm honest and ethical especially when it comes to restaurant gigs. I've sub'd before and have been a regular house dancer enough to know how the owners can be. It's something we have to learn and unfortunately, they aren't always loyal to us.

Thank you so much and at least I know that this dancer (name withheld) will eventually learn what she did was wrong - maybe when it happens to her.

Wow, that REALLY sucks. I am so sorry. Is there an Oriental dance guild in your area?

Thank you... yes, it really sucks. Oriental dance guild - no not that I know of. I wish there was.

That's SO low, on both the new dancer and the owner's part. I think restaurant owners have one master list of excuses that they pull from, because I've heard that one before: this dancer keeps stalking our restaurant every week, and we can't get her to go away, and the only way we can get her to stop bothering us is to let her dance on your night. Whatever.

This is precisely the reason why I dislike restaurant work with such a passion. My dance life has been infinitely more satisfying and less dramatic since I started pursuing private parties, taking up occasional sub gigs, and doing things like grand openings and theme nights at non-ME restaurants, nightclub appearances and other "one night stands." It's SO much more lucrative, keeps me on my toes, and spares me the constant worry in the back of my mind that some creepy stalker dancer might want to slit my throat over a $75set. No worry that some scumbag restaurant owner will ditch me in three weeks for somebody taller, darker, or more voluptuous: I just collect my money and run! (And if it sucked, happily, I know I'll never have to go back!)

Unless you really love having a weekly gig in the same spot, or you're hard up for regular cash flow, I'd recommend exploring your opportunities outside of the restaurant realm. Drop off cards to bridal shops, entertainment agencies, banquet facilities and other BD-friendly venues. Introduce yourself to dancers you might like to sub for. Develop a cool package for children's birthday parties, hen parties, bachelorette parties. There are tons of great lucrative and drama-free opportunities out there....now's a great time to flex some creative muscle.

Good luck, and chin up, sweetie!

Sorry to bust in here, but what's the difference between a hen party and a bachelorett party? Any difference? I don't know, this is the first I heard of a "hen" party. Thanks {creeps back into the corner}.

Satin-

Off topic, your signature reminds me of a hilarious porn book the previous owner left lying around my boyfriend's recording studio entitled 'The Coed and the Lady'. The author obviously had never been with a woman in his life. ..l;,

On topic- check to see if there is one. It's like a bellydancer's union. I second Satin with the restaurant gig thing, I prefer teaching, parties and events. What I've seen is restaurant dancers replaced with dancers who are not as talented but far more 'body modified' if you get my drift.

HAHAHAHAHA! Smutty novels are hilarious! Back when my dad was working on the Fabio ad campaign for "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" *hangs head in shame* he used to bring home raunchy Fabio novels by the truckload, and even brought home a Fabio life-size cardboard cutout. They gave it all out for free to promote the oily goodness of Fabio and margarine spread....or at least I hope that's what my dad was doing with all that odd memorabilia ..c::

It was good times when I was 10 years old and in need of something to snicker at....

Jasani, a hen party is just another name for a fun girl's night out party kinda deal. Consider yourself enlightened!

*threadjack!*

Continuing with your threadjack...

We kept trying to see if there was anything of value in that book, but mostly busted out laughing. When the bands came to the studio, during breaks, they'd read it aloud. Nothing like seeing a bunch of grown men rolling around on the floor laughing!

Back to original topic now. Sorry.

You are right SatinWorship19, working with restaurant owners are not my favorite thing to do. And after this experience, I may just retire my restaurant career altogether. I do stay pretty busy dancing at parties, weddings, etc. but I've actually got lots of referrals through the restaurant. It's too bad that dancers do things like stalking, if that is what this girl was doing, and yes, she was obviously younger and very thin. So, I guess if that is what they want, that's what they will have. When she has car trouble, or gets something better, I hope that they don't call me, because I'm not going to be available for them after this.

Good for you Maryon! {Sorry about the lurking on this thread} I'm sure you will survive and get better/more gigs.

I second jasani. Good luck to you. It is a hard thing to lose but better not to be associated with a place like that, most likely.

Maryon, I know this is hard to do, but ifr you can - don't waste your energy on the restaurant owners potential lies & working out if they are true, and the other dancers motivation. Instead use all that energy for yourself & the good advice in this thread around seeking out other work. Very best wishes, Caroline.

maryon, how awful to lose a regular gig with people stabbing you in the back! I understand the referal thing, people often remember the dancer that they've seen perform or want to check you out before hiring you.

If its any consolation, I get a lot of referals through my classes/other performances. Maybe setting up small classes in your area might help with the money flow and lead to new performance opportunities.

There's a lot of good advice here, so I'm just chiming in for support. I'm really sorry this happened and I bet it's going to turn out to be one of those things that is bad on its face, but that leads to much better for you.

Thank you ladies for your kind words, support and encouragement. I needed to vent and went to the right place. I'll survive this and it will make me a better person. I really don't wish the other dancer any harm, as she seemed young and inexperienced. I feel sooooo much better now and I guess as my boyfriend always tells me, "Honey, let go!". (he's the master of one-liners)

............... a hen party is just another name for a fun girl's night out party kinda deal.



....... KINDA LIKE AN "IGNORE PARTY"???????



So sorry about losing the gig ............. when I started, I was actually naive enough to believe a dancer would never do that to another dancer ...... I remember the first time something similar happened ..... I was sooo happy I had snagged a great gig at a fabulous restaurant that I shared my excitement with some "dance friends." Next week one of them said, "Oh, hope you you don't mind, I went to that restaurant where you're dancing, dropped off my card and talked to them....." (I was expecting, "Oh, wow, good for you, I'll come and support you ....right....) It hasn't happened since, but it still hurts ...........I feel for you.......remember, Karma ......hang in there, you'll find some other great opportunities....

Originally Posted by naiyahayal

............... a hen party is just another name for a fun girl's night out party kinda deal.



....... KINDA LIKE AN "IGNORE PARTY"??????? .

How DARE you remind me of the Ignore party....I'm still hung over

Maryon, I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and better, drama-free gigs are out there for you. I just had a restaurant owner give my supposedly "regular" gig to a non-dancer you-tube trained chic because she'll dance for less than 1/2 what I do, even though any ME audience, and even some of the GP who know nothing about dance, have said they like me much better.

Take the wonderful advice in this thread, make up some promo packets, go to local businesses that may open doors to private gigs and I hope doors open for you quickly.

I once went to audition at a restaurant, and when I arrived the owners were shocked I hadn't brought a DVD for them to watch. I gave them my price anyway and they said 'Well the dancers here dance for X amount', trying to get me to come down. I left, but often wondered if they were trying to pull something like that on their regular dancers; seeing if they could get someone else for less. Not me! The restaurant scene is a scary and strange one that I've never quite understood; dancers aren't treated very well in my experience.

(ps Miriam: I'd never have thought they'd replace someone with real experience in favor of a youtube bunny! Then again, you can never really tell what people are going to do.)

Maryon, I say stick with the private parties, especially if they make you more and make you more comfortable.

[QUOTE=SatinWorship19;161570]HAHAHAHAHA! Jasani, a hen party is just another name for a fun girl's night out party kinda deal. Consider yourself enlightened!
[QUOTE]

In the UK a hen party is thebride's last night out before her wedding. guests may all wear stupid fancy dress, including an L plate for the bride and they all get rat-arsed whilst chatting up anythng in trousers etc

Wow, it's comforting to see that I'm not the only one who's so strongly anti-restaurant work. People usually find it rather blasphemous of me!

Miriam, I can't believe that restaurant owner stooped so low as to give your gig to one of QueenCassie's pantsless minions. I'm beginning to think talent is a lesser priority for restaurant owners: as far as I'm concerned, many of them just seem to want young, cheap, ethnic looking, easy to manipulate, willing to work long hours without pay, and desperate for attention.

Originally Posted by BreaMorgiane

What I've seen is restaurant dancers replaced with dancers who are not as talented but far more 'body modified' if you get my drift.

Really? Where was this?

Originally Posted by SatinWorship19

Miriam, I can't believe that restaurant owner stooped so low as to give your gig to one of QueenCassie's pantsless minions. I'm beginning to think talent is a lesser priority for restaurant owners: as far as I'm concerned, many of them just seem to want young, cheap, ethnic looking, easy to manipulate, willing to work long hours without pay, and desperate for attention.

Funny thing is, I actually have ME background while this girl doesn't, so "authentic looking" can't exactly be his reason, and she's less than 5 years younger than I. He's just cheap... and I've heard rumors he mostly looks for "dancers" that will "shake their stuff" around in a way that appeals to male clientel. QueenCassie has no objections to floor-humping as part of one's sword routine... (yes, I've seen it done)

Anyway, sorry for the threadjack...