Thread: What is wrong with people? (Rant)

Some of you may remember my post a couple of months ago about promotional material for our show being removed from various locations -- I deleted the original post for discretion but I got some great advice from many of you first and we ended up selling out of tickets and turning people away at the door so ticket holders would have seats... This is basically a twist/continuation of that thread. Well, one of the places this was happening is the restaurant/hookah lounge where I dance. Tampering of promo material belonging to any individuals from the dance school I attend has been continual... well a week ago I was inspired to place my poster and my friends poster in frames for the owner to hang, in an attempt to curb this trend. Mind you, we do not tamper with the other dancers & instructors stuff beyond pulling forward the poster of the dancer performing that evening. If I have an issue with anything there (like clutter) I say something to the manager and he can do as he chooses with it... Well, my friend (whom I purchased the matching frame for) is dancing tonight and called me a few moments ago to tell me that our posters had been turned around and hidden inside the frames and the offending dancer & instructors posters placed in them,m:: ... What the heck? You want your frigg'n poster in a frame go buy your own! Stop screaming your professionalism all over town when you keep acting like such an a**!!! Stop telling the world that you "didn't create this evironment of suspicion" in the local dance community when you are still playing these petty high school games! I'm sick of the drama ! Geesh, why can't people play nice !?! I dance tomorrow and will mention this to the manager and ask why he would allow this but they aren't doing it when he's looking so there's little he can do beyond keep an eye out for it. Seriously, what kind of issues must you have to keep pulling this crap? Get therapy!!! I'm seriously close to naming names I'm so angry!

Have you spoken to her?

Cattiness can only be ignored for so long. Eventually, you're going to have to have "words".

Originally Posted by Adishakti

Have you spoken to her?

Cattiness can only be ignored for so long. Eventually, you're going to have to have "words".

I haven't as I don't really know them, we've been introduced a few times at workshops & shows but that's really about it. Also, we haven't had concrete evidence of who the offenders were until now (knowing who it is isn't doesn't make it provable.) I don't know why there's bad blood between our school and theirs but neither I nor my friend have been a part of it. I've been trying to 'rise above' as that was the advice I got a couple months ago but if there's words to be had I'm your girl! I don't tend to run from confrontation -- I don't like it but I sure don't back away from it!

what if you contacted the main suspect, told them what happened to your promo material and asked if they have experienced similar vandalizm?

what if you called a friendly meeting of local dancers with the purpose of discussing and preventing promo material vandalizm? invite the suspected offenders without accusation. don't confront them about being suspects. if they show up, they will have to sit there and hear how upsetting it is to the victims, and how much trouble and expense they are causing. perhaps this will be enough to let them know they are "caught".

so sorry you are dealing with this kind of behavior.

What a coward that woman is. I think that, because of her brazen acts of stupidity, she should be called out. Someone should wait for her to do her stupid tricks and when caught go up to her and confront her. It's the only way she's going to stop. Just stare her down and fix the posters right in front of her.... maybe give her a good ol' high school ass woopin' too...l;,

This maligning STOPS right here.

SongofIncense, your allegations are serious, and I would advise you to refrain from any slanderous remarks you might later regret. Judging by your comments regarding a previous thread, perhaps it’s already too late. How cool is it to smear someone’s reputation over unsubstantiatable (yes, I think I made up a word) suspicions? It’s wreckless and wrong. Pick up the phone and call. For God's sake you're a Deacon; don't you have better problem-solving skills than to publicly ridicule and deride me?

Just so the people reading this thread can be REALLY up-to-date and informed, here’s a news flash-- I have also experienced the missing and displaced material phenomenon going on now for 2+ months at the club....

After going to some time and expense to produce flyers for events/classes, I have revisited their place of deposit on several occasions (the restaurant) to find every single piece gone (knowing darn well that 15-30 people didn't pick up my flyers in the span of one night or even a week! I wish.)

...I've walked into the restaurant looking forward to performing only to find my display stands, business cards and other materials either completely missing or turned over on their face, against the wall, or supporting somebody else's poster, or buried by promotional material for people who have never danced there. Most of the time, I'd just heave a deep sigh and say "oh, well." When I’m not there and performing what can I do? I’ve always just reckoned that whoever was performing that night DID have a right to have their display front and center. But it's hard not to feel targeted and violated, or at the very least disrespected. It's even HARDER not to suspect the dancer who was in there the night or weekend before, especially when they're someone who has shown you outward contempt in the past. (And now I find this thread…..) Compound that with the unapologetic admission by another dancer there who's ADMITTED to throwing away other people's stuff... what is one to think? Well, without proof, we don't have much, do we?

Part Two --

There’s SO much irony (and salt in the wound) I don’t even know where to start! I drug MY feet about saying anything to the restaurant owner -- because it just seemed like petty stupid girl stuff and I really didn't want to be perceived as a person who 1. could be dragged into such bs, and 2. needed to escalate matters by involving others to resolve problems. (PLUS – I have no more proof than SongOF Incense has. For all either of us know, the wind blew stuff off the table onto the floor and our valuable self-promoting propaganda got thrown in the trash.)

Then lo and behold, I find myself being accused on this here forum of these very same things and worse (suggesting to me that my things were possibly moved/removed as retaliation). I guess I'm lucky there weren't horns and mustaches and curse words drawn all over my poster --



You are right about one thing. I did take a handful of promotional post cards on one occasion when I was down there….…..and GAVE them to MY students. Think I’ll make that mistake again?


I have worked hard and poured myself into becoming the best dancer and teacher I could be, and have managed, I believe to grow as a human being in the process --enriched by the lessons my students and other dancers have taught me (I wouldn't give those things up for the world...but this just breaks my heart to think the only thing some people might ever know about me is the twisted, one-sided version you've given them.)

So in looking for some common ground with you SongofIncense, I feel your pain...this type of thing absolutely sucks the joy out of dance and it's so unnecessary...

I hate to be a rabblerouser but how is it a surprise that when you come in you find your materials have been covered up?? When I put up promo materials and return a week or so later, they're covered by all sorts of other junk from all kind of performers and dog walkers and house painters. That's the nature of a public board. If the restuarant owner isn't restricting access to the board, its par for the course. There is nothing wrong with wanting your material placed at the front and center.
My suggestion is get together talk, clear the air, laugh at yourselves and MOVE ON. Accept the nature of the board and just be ready to create an attractive display when you arrive to dance, leave behind a few fliers and cards and then pack up your nice stuff, like framed posters and bring them home until next time.
The idea of getting your panties all bunched up over this is silly. In a free market economy, competition is the name of the game. Be a friendly competitor, embrace the fact that other dancers can and will dance in the same venues as you. If the competition feels threatening, look for an opportunity to collaborate rather than conspire against. Build bridges with people, its a waste of your time and energy to be so petty.

BasmaW... I don't even know who you are, if your profile is correct you don't even live anywhere close to me. However, if your profile is errant then understand this I have never done more than move the dancer of the evening to the front (yes, I believe every one of us has a right to that) and neither has anyone from the dance school. However, I purchased a rather nice frame, placed my material in it and gave it to the manager as he has been asking for a poster to hang. It was obviously tampered with... how else do you think someone else's material got into the frame (not just placed in front of it) and mine turned around? Want a frame? Buy one! I do not presume to place my materials (or any one else's) in the stands of other dancers... If it's cluttered I mention it to the manager and he can do as he will. For the record, the beard & moustache thing has been done to ours albeit not this go round. Frankly, I've been confident the culprit has been an over-zealous student but I have not been able to convince myself that the vandalism has been perpetrated without the knowledge of the instructor as I have personally, myself, heard her mock my director at my director's own event (that she who perpetrated said mockery was dancing in.) My advice to said instructor would be to step off and reign in her students.

I was angry last night and it was late. I have as much right to rant here as anyone else does -- ordination or not. There are plenty of those going on here, take your own for instance.

I've been busting it all day today and only just now got on-line; it's another day of it tomorrow. However, I should be relatively free on Monday if you have anything else you'd like to say. I'm sure you can come up with my number.

I am sorry all of this discord occurs in our town, Song. I will openly admit, here, to being less-than-friendly to some of the other dancers because I have either openly heard them say terrible things about me and/or our dance school, of which I am incredibly proud and fiercely protective, or I've been told they have said or acted certain ways. No one can act "holier than thou" about reacting negatively to gossip--I think we are all subject to those emotions. I have also said things that I later regretted, and apologized for. I have been brow-beaten over my skills, my religious beliefs, and my friendships with other dancers and friends in the community. I finally have come to peace with myself and am trying to distance myself from the community of dancers here, mind my own business, and just try to develop my skills as a dancer. I still don't understand why things are the way they are. We all do this out of a sense of love for the dance, and a love for the culture and people who bring us this art form. We all love the costumes, the camaraderie with our fellow dancers, the "getaway" from the everyday, and yes, the attention. The reality is, I think we have some very talented dancers in our community, and they come from multiple schools, not just our own. I'd like to meet and get to know some of them, but I feel such a sense of hatred from some of the girls here that I'm not too inspired to take a first step. And, there is a definite sense of distrust. Anyway, I've seen firsthand that materials have been moved, tossed, etc... and in some cases, I've seen other restaurant patrons toss things (people whom, I presume, are completely unrelated to any dance school). I have never thrown anyone's things away. I wouldn't, because I wouldn't want that done to me. I have moved things on nights when I dance, so that people will know which dancer is actually dancing that night. I don't mind when people shuffle my things around, although it would be nice if it was at least still visible the next day. But, so it goes. In case anyone has any interest, you might read a very related post by another, independent dancer in our community who is not associated with any dance school that also relates to these issues:

http://www.bhuz.com/forum/business-b...ghlight=arella

Anyway, Song, you know I'll always be there cheering you on! Love you girl.

Song and Sonja, I've got nothing to offer but my own personal sympathy, positive vibes and good wishes.

It's unfortunate when gossip, slander, clique battles, territorial bullcrap and immature behavior detract from the beauty, positivity and empowerment that draw us to the dance in the first place. But it happens. In the mean time, all you can do is work hard to rise above them, and distance yourselves from them as quietly and tactfully as possible. Your goodwill, dedication and talent will override their stupid games....just keep doing what you're doing and karma will take care of the rest. People will find them out and get sick of them. I guarantee it.

PM me or message me on MySpace if you ever need to talk. I'm pulling for you guys, too.

After 2 months off from working at the restaurant featured here in this mini drama... I am going back starting Friday.... I plan to take my promo materials with me and set them up (and heaven help the person who messes with them if my giant bald husband catches them!) ... when I leave they will go with me.

I honestly wish the restaurant would only let dancers who actually perform there put up promo stuff... which is how it was at the places I danced before. It just looks like a big pile of useless **** with so much crap piled up on the table anyways!!

When it is my night to dance I plan to put MY poster in the front and MY business cards in the front.... I am not only dancing at this restaurant to make a little of what I have put into this dance but to also promote myself for private parties. I feel like the scheduled dancer of the night should get to promote herself without alot of other dancers stuff in front of hers.

If any dancers who have their stuff up feel like they should be able to put their stuff in front of mine on MY scheduled night please came and talk to me about it... don't stick your crap in front of mine when I'm there working... and I'll respect you the same way. If you do plan to remove my things ... again when I'm dancing!... or place your stuff on top of mine then be prepared for me or my husband to throw it in the garbage.

Don't get mad....
I'm just keeping it real.

And PLEASE! do not come in on MY night, bring your own music and dance all night.... yes this is directed at one perticular group... you know who you are.

BTW I really like Jasani 's suggestion....lol!!

I like sabrinabellydancer suggestion. Make it a dancer "community" meeting. You may find out that maybe the other studio is not for blame. Better to start this all out on a positive note and take the "high road". Best of luck dear.

Originally Posted by ravenadesigns

I like sabrinabellydancer suggestion. Make it a dancer "community" meeting. You may find out that maybe the other studio is not for blame. Better to start this all out on a positive note and take the "high road".

Wow! If it could only be that easy... then no bellydancers would have any troubles.
That might have worked if this was a one time thing... and if certain dancers didn't kiss ass to your face and then go behind your back with completely different intentions.

When I came into this perticular "community" I had high hopes all the 'bad blood' between the dance schools here could be over come... not so.

I gave up on that "dream"!!!,r:;

I am not a member of the "bellydance community" here, I do not care to support it at all ... its way to much trouble.... at this point I play by MY rules and thats it. I'm past the point of caring what any other "dancers" say about me. I mean... I've got alot to do! I shouldn't even be on here right now I should be working on Song's costume, right??? ..g.:

Originally Posted by Arella

at this point I play by MY rules and thats it. I'm past the point of caring what any other "dancers" say about me. I mean... I've got alot to do! ..g.:

Amen! And make me something while you're at it

Now listen up, you know I'm gonna be coming in to see you Friday, music & promo materials in hand and you better watch out because I can take the bald man, and he knows it! ..l;, ..l;, ..l;, ..l;,

Love you, girl, so you go dance and have a blast, and if I can't drop by because of the wedding rehearsal dinner, then I'll be there in spirit . Oh, and bring a towel (and frozen clothes)...it's a sauna in there!

Originally Posted by Arella

I'm past the point of caring what any other "dancers" say about me. I mean... I've got alot to do! I shouldn't even be on here right now I should be working on Song's costume, right??? ..g.:

YES!!!..g.: *does anyone else think we need a new emoticon of a greedy little smiley rubbing hands together?*

And might I just say Arella's Back!!! WooHoo!!!

Oh, and the Bald Man does not scare your prospective kale dealer!..l;,

Thanks for the support guys, you know I love ya