Thread: Underage Restaurant Dancing?

I was involved with a dance troupe that allowed a girl under 18 to dance at a restaurant . The restaurant served alcoholic beverages and frequently had men that were "too friendly". I thought it was unprofessional and unethical to allow a kid to dance and she just did it to get her girls in the spot because it was a belly dance hot spot. I quit the company because of it..especially when I found out she didn't tell the owners the girls true age.

What are your thoughts about anyone under 18 or under 21 dancing at a restaurant?

It really depends on the restaurant and the situation. The scenario you are describing is a "no no" in my book. I think that kind of environment should be saved for adults.

Now it all depends on the style, the event, and many other factors. I have seen mother/daughter teams dancing Egyptian Folklore in family-friendly restaurant settings and it was fine.

I agree that it depends on the situation. I knew a 2nd generation dancer who started dancing in a nightclub as a young teen. BUT, her mother was in attendance, it was handled very professionally (she came, she danced, she left), and she wasn't allowed to go around for tips (hence no touchy touchy problems... ew!). But I've also seen similar situations handled less professionally and I agree that it turns my stomach. If a minor is to perform, adult supervision is REQUIRED!! Preferably a parent, imo.

I worked as a dancer in a restaurant when I was under 21 (started at 19). It was a very family oriented place. One time the owner ran out of something for the bar (a mixer and some rum or something), and asked if I could run across the street to the liquor store to get it. I was not able to*, and he was shocked at my age. He had known when I was hired, but just forgot over the time I worked there.

I think going out to eat or to a club and seeing a dancer who is clearly under 18 would feel strange, though admit it would depend on the venue, setting, clientèle, and probably the dancer herself. As an audience member, I preferred the older dancers even when I was a young dancer, though (and still am not that interested in children as live entertainment).

That said, I look back in wonder at all the private parties I did at a very young age. That seems like way riskier behavior in retrospect, but then again--anything can happen anywhere, and I was pretty street smart from a young age. I also had a good mentor and teacher who guided me well early on in the wacky world of professional belly dance. She did not book dancers (or even accept students, but for some rare exceptions) who were under 18.



*I had a fake ID but did not feel like sharing that info. :)

I'm not fond of it, no. More to protect the young dancer, although it depends a lot on the kind of show and the kind of venue it is. If she's dancing in a group, that's OK so long as she has a parent or guardian present (and their explicit permission, obviously). If she's going round the tables on her own, I'd be a bit concerned, mostly because they don't generally have the skills to handle dodgy customers, or to recognise the far-reaching side effects of, say, dating a customer or getting drunk with the boss.

Eighteen is the legal age of alcohol purchase here and once someone is 18 they're technically fine for that kind of work, but in an ideal world I'd say no younger than 20.

It depends on how young those who can legally serve alcohol are. In my state you do not need to be 21 to serve someone else.

And the overall atmosphere of the venue.

18 would be the age here in the UK for performing where there is alcohol. I dare say there are situations where dancers might even sneek in younger!
As long as a young dancer is dancing in a responsible group or accompanied by a parent/guardian I see no reason why she shouldn't dance. Young people here get into far more dangerous situations. I think belly dancers can be MORE aware of potential problems and therefore more careful of the situations they find themselves in. A young dancer should have a"manager" for security that can be dad, mum ,teacher or dance agency.And she should, as should any dancer be choosy about her venue.

Thanks for all your feedback. I have two teenage daughters and there is no way I would let them dance in a restaurant where there are grown men.

i dont see what the big deal is with a 16-17y old dancing in a restaurant if she's part of a troupe, dancing in group numbers and even solo-ing when out with the troupe. she is supervised by an adult, she's not alone. even if the establishment sells booze. well, even the community events we dance at sell alcohol. heck, they would not be able to dance anywhere if they should dance only where there is no alcohol. like what about a summer street festival. and of course those have adult males too..

bottom line for me is supervision...i would definitely NOT want one of "my girls" who is that age out and about performing on her own. they mostly dont have the maturity to deal with customers, djs, managers, entertainment agencies, drunk public members, etc etc, all the little problems that might come up. some are too naieve too about those things (and so they should be for as long as they can ;-)). I'd be worried sick. but i dont see a problem with a girl that age dancing as part of a troupe.

Originally Posted by MSDancer08

I was involved with a dance troupe that allowed a girl under 18 to dance at a restaurant . The restaurant served alcoholic beverages and frequently had men that were "too friendly". I thought it was unprofessional and unethical to allow a kid to dance and she just did it to get her girls in the spot because it was a belly dance hot spot. I quit the company because of it..especially when I found out she didn't tell the owners the girls true age.

What are your thoughts about anyone under 18 or under 21 dancing at a restaurant?

I started dancing in a restaurant at 15 (after dancing a couple of years with my troupe). It was never a problem and I never felt threatened or anything weird. My mother always accompanied me along with at least one other person. The staff all looked out for me and treated me like family (which they all were). This was in a fairly large town. Of course, this was in the early 80's and perhaps things have changed since then.

Mother-of-a-Belly-Dancing-child-who-until-very-recently-was-under-18 here.

My daughter has been dancing in (BD) competitions as a soloist since the age of nine. She has been dancing at festivals since about 11. When my daughter was about 16, a dance friend of mine asked if Daughter could dance at her restaurant venues. I appreciated my friend's confidence in Daughter, but I declined, as I think one should be at least 18 to dance at that type of venue.

Under 18 as a member of a group? Probably ok, with parent present, if the restaurant is family oriented; in other words, not a bar, although alcohol might be served.
As a soloist? No.
Dancing in the audience for tips? Never.

Now that Daughter is 18, and if she decides she'd like this public venue (ie restaurant) experience, we'll start out with a short recorded set where she remains on the stage. Then, when she's comfortable with live music, we'll put her in a shared set (2 or 3 dancers take turns during each section of the set) where she can choose to go into the audience or remain on the stage. When she's ready to solo to live music in a truly "public" venue. . . I'll be one really proud mama!

Festivals et al are not the same as public venues, even if they are open to the public. I don't think our kids particularly need public venue experience until they are (technically, anyway) adults themselves.

Deborah

ita that it depends on the venue.

i started dancing in restaurants before i was 21. my first was a "fill in" gig for my teacher, on a stage w/o going around for tips. so i felt ok 'cause the staff knew the teacher expected decent behavior from customers. it was also a family owned, low key persian place where no one got out of line.

after that, i continued on to my own restaurant gigs, underage, on my own.
but my teachers taught me how to handle it first.

i think that's one of the keys. underage dancers should ideally have instruction on the giging aspect from seasoned professionals so they know how to comport themselves professionally and how to avoid things that could lead to questionable/uncomfortable situations.

I don't mind the 18-21 thing, but I do find it odd when dancers as young as 15 or 16 are performing in pro costumes and accepting body tips at restaurants. This is nothing to do with their skill level as dancers, but is just a concern for their safety. As long as there is a very active parent or guardian there with them to make sure everything stays completely legit, then it could be ok. However, if anyone who will be dancing at a place serving alcohol and is under 18, you should definitely check the local laws on it. There are some states and counties in the US where it is illegal to work where alcohol is served if you are under 18.

Some young dancers have very involved parents and families to help keep them safe. I think in those cases, the parent/guardian is responsible for scoping out the appropriateness of any specific gig.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

ita that it depends on the venue.

i started dancing in restaurants before i was 21. my first was a "fill in" gig for my teacher, on a stage w/o going around for tips. so i felt ok 'cause the staff knew the teacher expected decent behavior from customers. it was also a family owned, low key persian place where no one got out of line.

after that, i continued on to my own restaurant gigs, underage, on my own.
but my teachers taught me how to handle it first.

i think that's one of the keys. underage dancers should ideally have instruction on the giging aspect from seasoned professionals so they know how to comport themselves professionally and how to avoid things that could lead to questionable/uncomfortable situations.

I, too, was underage when I started soloing. Having been -- and continued to be -- mentored by my own mom, and having assisted her in gigs since the age of 13, I already had several years of observation and instruction under my belt (sorry about the unintended pun!). I did not do very many restaurant gigs, since Mom preferred the higher-paying private parties, but I still had a reasonable amount of experience by 18 and loads of it by 21.

Venue is absolutely important, as is the kid in question!

Just in general, I prefer dancers be 18 at restaurants for any type of gig -- group or solo -- 21 is even better!

Deborah

I think it depends on several factors. Earlier this year I performed at a bar as a part of my troupe director's intermediate troupe for 2 dances (her actual troupe put on most of the show); I was 20 (turned 21 two weeks later), but two of the dancers were 14. They came, they danced, they left. My director also made a point to tell the underaged girls, that when picking out a bra to turn into a base for a costume, to make sure that the bra provided a lot of coverage and little cleavage. Both of the girl's had parents in attendance (and they are there for every show). I think it really depends on how it is handled- as long as the teacher and parents are supervising and making sure the girl isn't "scandalized" or over sexualized, I think it can be okay.

When a dancer is 14-16, I don't expect them to go out on their own on gigs. There recently was a lot of discussion in the Netherlands when the 'Holland's got Talent' show rejected a fourteen year old bellydancer because she wasn't old enough. She's a very talented dancer and by the time that she's 18 she'll be amazing. She was rejected because belly dance has a sensual side to it, and they didn't want to judge her on this danceform because of her age. Let's face it, the general public views belly dance as something that is done by mature women.

I think dancers can be of all ages, but when it comes to promoting yourself as a solo-dancer, it's important to be over 18. I also wonder why underage dancers are so desperate to go out and perform at venues that might compromise their safety.

Having someone to help you and assist you, that keeps an eye out for you and decided wether a venue is a good place to perform is very important. When dancing in a troupe I asume that the other troupemembers look out for eachother, seeing someone underage perform with a troupe would be fine by me.

As for alcohol: make sure the performance is booked at a time that most people haven't been drinking a lot and keep an eye outfor owners that offer heir dancers alcoholic beverages. If I recollect the gigs that I did, there always was alcohol available and it rarely posed a problem.

Originally Posted by MSDancer08

I thought it was unprofessional and unethical to allow a kid to dance and she just did it to get her girls in the spot because it was a belly dance hot spot. I quit the company because of it..especially when I found out she didn't tell the owners the girls true age.

Aside from my comfort levels and the safety of the girl, the troupe/company leader disturbs me on anotehr level.

The alcohol laws and who can and can't work in a venue that serves booze differs from state to state (even county to county) and while I'm not sure of the laws in your area (and maybe the "company leader" isn't either) I'm disturbed that she didn't disclose the girl's true age. If you live in an area where under there is a minimum age to work in a liquor serving place, such an action may have put the venue at risk of fines or suspension of a liquor license...

Originally Posted by Halima-Dances

I started dancing in a restaurant at 15 (after dancing a couple of years with my troupe). It was never a problem and I never felt threatened or anything weird. My mother always accompanied me along with at least one other person. The staff all looked out for me and treated me like family (which they all were). This was in a fairly large town. Of course, this was in the early 80's and perhaps things have changed since then.

Same-ish. I was dancing at fetes and fairs and the like in a troupe from young and I had my first gig at a nightclub at 15, though I was dancing with my mum (2nd gen). I even wrangled a black russian from the bar staff while mumsy was getting changed ..l;, (come on... I was 15 going on 30!)

And I was soloing at restaurants by 17 (mum restricted my solo work till I got older). I have been on the stage my whole life and I wouldn't give up any of my performing experience for anything even if on reflection it was a bit risky.

A very god friend of mine started restaurant gigs shortly after her 18th birthday. She and I use to share a gig on Fridays at a very low-key Lebanese restaurant (it was also a jazz club) but the atmosphere was very family friendly. Being 10 years older than she was, I watched out for her. I knew her parents and she did accept tips but everyone knew the score and it was mostly an American crowd.

She's not quite 21 and has danced at more night club venues but there are always other dancers there or she is with a family member/friend.

I think a lot of it depends on 1) state laws and 2) the specific person. I know 15 and 16 year old that should not under any circumstances be allowed to perform but my friend was mature for her age but not so mature that she thought she knew it all. As such she knew she needed a chaperone or at least a friend to go a long with her.

My mom always said that if you're too old to have a parent along when trick-or-treating, you're too old to trick-or-treat. I think the same rule applies. Personally, I'm 30 and have been performing for more than 2 years and I'd still prefer to have my boyfriend or a friend come with me.