Thread: Let the Tipping Begin!

The Indian restaurant & bar wants me back tomorrow night ..g.:

This time around, I want to actively try to get tipped, as opposed to waiting around for them.

My question is, how do you "train" your audience to tip you? While Arabic audiences tip plentifully and customarily, young American crowds most likely don't know that it's a welcome gesture or how to do it in the first place. I'd like to set 'em straight

I've seen dancers begin their set with a dollar bill tucked into their belt. There's also the possibility of handing a few bucks to a "plant" in the audience and instructing them on when to commence the money shower. (In hopes the crowd will catch on).

What are your other suggestions?

Both of those strategies work for me. I also like to put a table topper out that has a nice paragraph about belly dance and includes some nice suggestions about tipping. You can insert these right into those acrylic things that usually hold beer ads and appetizer specials.
When I contract with a restuarant my base pay includes a guaranteed minimum in tips. If the customers don't meet the minimum, the restaurant is obligated to cover the difference (its only a $25 minimum). This means the establishment has a vested interest in making sure I meet my tips, so they6 don't have to pay out. I work with the owners to figure out the method that will work best for their business--some places will give customers the option to add a tip to their final bill, some places put tip jars in strategic locations, most places like the table topper & put that out on nights the dancer is there, some places have the owner or manager come out and do a money shower during my set and encourage patrons to join in...
Bottom line, talk to the people your working with and see what options they'd like to incorporate to insure you get the gratuity you should be earning.

The owner of the resutrant I work at usually after about a song or 2 come down the center isle waving a $1 or $5 and makes a big show of tipping me....

I like to plant a "showerer" in the crowd - give a friend $10 in singles and ask her to shower you at some point, others will get the hint and follow. I don't like when dancers start out with money in their belts - first of all, I don't want to encourage people touching me, so I don't want them to think that the only way they can tip is by shoving it in my costume. Second, if you've just entered and you already have money in your costume, it's obvious you put it there, and that seems a little desperate to me.

When I accept tips, I want my attitude to be "Oh, why thank you. I appreciate your tips for a job well done, although they are certainly not necessary." Even though I REALLY want the tips, I don't want my audience to think that - I want them to think that their tips are just the icing on the cake for me, not part of the job I depend on. I think it's classier that way.

So, IMO, anyway you can ask for tips so that it doesn't look like you are asking is best. A friend in the audience does that.

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

So, IMO, anyway you can ask for tips so that it doesn't look like you are asking is best. A friend in the audience does that.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Anything to avoid looking like you're absolutely desperate for tips, and more like you earned your tips.

I also like Annwyn's suggestion of having a member of the waitstaff wave a $5 bill at you and making a show out of it.

Personally, i think the waving money at you blurs that stripper line we always get in such a snit over. I have been to the shake joints and if you wave some money the girl will come over and have her junk all over your personal space. I think that would further confuse the GP. Not trying to revive the tired old debate about stripper/bellydancer confusion. Just an observation about people waving money at you. It also reminds me of someone dangling a treat in front of you. If one table does it then all the tables are going to be waving money at you like your some puppy looking for a snausage. I would say management should do a traditional money shower if they are going to be tipping you as an example.

Belly Granny agrees.

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

Second, if you've just entered and you already have money in your costume, it's obvious you put it there, and that seems a little desperate to me.

I agree with this, but at the same time, putting money there myself guarantees I'll get tipped. What I do is plant the money, but I fold it down so no one can see it. Since I have to move between areas of the restaurant, there are time when no one can see me and then I just unfold the money so it sticks out. Everyone assumes it came from patrons at the other end. I guess it does feel a little desperate, but it is the difference between good money and no money sometimes.

Originally Posted by stardancer

Personally, i think the waving money at you blurs that stripper line we always get in such a snit over. I have been to the shake joints and if you wave some money the girl will come over and have her junk all over your personal space. I think that would further confuse the GP. Not trying to revive the tired old debate about stripper/bellydancer confusion. Just an observation about people waving money at you. It also reminds me of someone dangling a treat in front of you. If one table does it then all the tables are going to be waving money at you like your some puppy looking for a snausage. I would say management should do a traditional money shower if they are going to be tipping you as an example.

I agree with this as well. I never run over when someone waves money. I try to acknowledge that I see them and I take it graciously once I arrive there as part of the show. If I ever detect any sort of suggestiveness in waving, I pretend to not notice and never go take it.

wow! A tip minimum. What a brilliant idea. I am gonna tuck that idea in my back pocket....

I agree that I hate the waiving money. I will purposely NOT go over to a table that is waiving money at me. To me, that screams desperation - I need that one dollar so badly that I will disrupt the natural flow of my show to go over and have it. Now, if they are waiving a $50, that's a different story.....

I like the table top "instructions" idea. When I first went to a middle eastern place (waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in college), I wasn't sure about tipping either.

Good suggestions, everyone. I'm taking it all in.

Money shower seems to be the general consensus, though I like the discrete bill tuck.

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

I agree that I hate the waiving money. I will purposely NOT go over to a table that is waiving money at me. To me, that screams desperation - I need that one dollar so badly that I will disrupt the natural flow of my show to go over and have it. Now, if they are waiving a $50, that's a different story.....

Ok... so what's the difference between a 50 - 1$ desperate acts and a 50$ desperate act?..l;,.w.:

Originally Posted by jasani

Ok... so what's the difference between a 1$ desperate act and a 50$ desperate act?..l;,.w.:

$50 can fill up my gas tank? (well, almost....)

Just kidding, I was joking with the $50 comment. I really don't go over to anybody waiving money in my face.

LOL, I know you mean well.

The best way of course is to have someone you know tip you in the audience - if not, have the wait staff come out and tip you a $ at the appropriate time.
You need to train them, though. I had waiters shy about it, and it looked weird. I also had some of them block "the view" from the audience, so the only thing everyone saw that the waiter stood in front of me. They may not even have seen the dollar after wards. You can have them stand next to you, and without rushing, tuck a dollar in the side of your hip. Then everyone will catch on. "oh, that's how they do it!" or " oh, it's ok to do that".

If you have a dollar on your hip from the beginning, the audience will see it, but will not know how it got there. Those that have never seen a belly dancer getting tipped will probably not be able to figure it out.

I'll confess I've done the money plant a few times! I have no problem to ask a friend to start the tipping if they are coming to watch a show.

Coming out with money on you - not tasteful in my opinion either. But the trick bill - hmmmm, I'm undecided.

I really prefer to have tips in my halter strap rather than the skirt though.

Note about tips: It really doesn't have anything to do with how good you are - it's all about the tipper showing off his or her wealth (it is almost always the men, no?).
When I get tips from non arabic/turkish crowds, it's often less (at least in Canada our smallest bill is a $5, not a $1!!) and it seems it is more the novelty of giving the bellydancer money or they want to show me that they "know what to do".

Originally Posted by annwyn

The owner of the resutrant I work at usually after about a song or 2 come down the center isle waving a $1 or $5 and makes a big show of tipping me....

Usually smart owners will do it to get the ball rolling. You may have to explain it to the owner--when i danced in an Indian restaurant, they didn't know--they were also horrified about tips thrown on the floor after money showers--I told them to leave it until I'm done and asked if one of them would go out and pick it up for me. The idea of throwing money on the floor and ignoring it seemed weird to them, but I just said, "It's a belly dancer thing--we have to act like we don't care about the tips!" and they went with that!

ok now, the money waving bit isn't black and white. I frequently wave my tip bill at the dancer! I'm not saying 'woo, hoochie, come and shake that thing over here and if you're nice I'll give you this dollar bill." I'm saying "woo! you're fabulous! no worries - I'll start the tips if you need that! everybody see this $5? see how much fun I'm having interacting with the dancer? now you try! time to get the money out!"

I don't see that as a bad thing.

yes, there are those dollar bill waving losers that eyeball you from across the room, after you've passed their table twice already and they couldn't be bothered to get the money out when you were there. at best I toss them a 'sorry, too late!' smile and ignore them. at worst I toss them a 'you can take that dollar bill and wipe your a$$ with it' glance and ignore them. lol!

Originally Posted by elisagamal

ok now, the money waving bit isn't black and white. I frequently wave my tip bill at the dancer! I'm not saying 'woo, hoochie, come and shake that thing over here and if you're nice I'll give you this dollar bill." I'm saying "woo! you're fabulous! no worries - I'll start the tips if you need that! everybody see this $5? see how much fun I'm having interacting with the dancer? now you try! time to get the money out!"

Good point, I do this to dancers too! But I think you're right; it's obvious who wants to just interact and be nice and who wants to be a jerk about it.

I had a nice money shower tonight! When I was getting ready at home, I was thinking about this tipping thread and wondered what this gig might bring. One of the guests knew what to do - it was such a nice treat.

Hmmm ... I'm not sure how common this is among dancers. I've only seen it a few times, but it's something I picked up from a Turkish dancer years ago.
... once a tip comes along ... and once I finally get over to accept it ... rather than stand still and wait for the tip to be placed, I'll keep dancing with the music ... so tipping becomes fun or even funny as they attempt to place the tip but miss a few times. People laugh, and the ice, if there is any left, is broken. And other folks are inspired to tip, too.


Approaching tips in the way described above adds another humorous, interactive, lighthearted element to my show. It makes the show more fun for me, since in a restaurant setting what I thrive on is joyful interactions.

OMG, I was with my boyfriend at a show and the dancer was a so-so dancer. When it came time for her to get tips, she came over to our table. I tipped her 1, no, it was a couple of $'s and she danced over to another table. She was desperate to say the least as she would dance at your table until you tipped her to go away! She tried to get my boyfriend to tip her but my boyfriend turned to me to say, "is she going to leave? Tell me when she leaves." She was terrible, it must have been her first time, I don't know.

Originally Posted by Mirabai

Hmmm ... I'm not sure how common this is among dancers. I've only seen it a few times, but it's something I picked up from a Turkish dancer years ago.
... once a tip comes along ... and once I finally get over to accept it ... rather than stand still and wait for the tip to be placed, I'll keep dancing with the music ... so tipping becomes fun or even funny as they attempt to place the tip but miss a few times. People laugh, and the ice, if there is any left, is broken. And other folks are inspired to tip, too.


Approaching tips in the way described above adds another humorous, interactive, lighthearted element to my show. It makes the show more fun for me, since in a restaurant setting what I thrive on is joyful interactions.

This is pretty common among the dancers I know and I agree; it keeps everything fun and light and gives everyone at the table a good laugh. I find that it also diffuses any lewdness. If a guy is trying to be smarmy about it, nothing ruins that faster than his friends laughing at him as he tries to catch a bouncing hip.

Originally Posted by jasani

OMG, I was with my boyfriend at a show and the dancer was a so-so dancer. When it came time for her to get tips, she came over to our table. I tipped her 1, no, it was a couple of $'s and she danced over to another table. She was desperate to say the least as she would dance at your table until you tipped her to go away! She tried to get my boyfriend to tip her but my boyfriend turned to me to say, "is she going to leave? Tell me when she leaves." She was terrible, it must have been her first time, I don't know.

See, this is my fear. I like to dance FOR people, so I don't just stay in the middle of the floor, I make eye contact and dance for tables. But I'm just dancing for them, for fun, to entertain them. I worry that they'll think "don't look at her or she'll want our money".

I mean I've gone to a strip club (I admit it, I went with friends to see what it was like) and every girl came over to get a dollar and if you didn't give them one, they got mad. So after a while, we would just look away and pretend not to see them.

I just don't want to make people feel that way.

This doesn't worry me so much. I can dance for a specific table even if I'm across the room just by making and keeping eye contact... or with a few slight, but focused glances. So I guess what I do is start the show at center and at a distance ... whatever distance possible. If I see that they are into the show, then I take a few moments to dance closer to their table/seat, but I don't loom.

If I can see in their body language that they are not digging it or uncomfortable I'll do one of two things ... a. just leave them be; b. say hi and ask them how they're doing or what they're up to that evening (most the time it's a church group heading out to do mission work in Morocco or young folks on a homecoming date), then leave them be. ... it may help me understand why they're reserved and stand-offish ... helps me understand what kind of experience they're looking for at the venue ... most of the time it puts them at ease and helps them relax into the experience.

The other thing, though, about dancing FOR a table that is across the room... it allows you to dance for the tables that are closer without being a loomer ... if you know what I mean? They get to watch and enjoy the dance without having to make eye contact or worry about how they should be reacting since my attention is elsewhere.

So ... while this does worry me ... it doesn't worry me too much :) I think that who and what audiences love is so subjective... I do my best to be artful and respectful ... I win some, and I lose others :) kinda like being a teacher at the front of a classroom!!! LOL!

I usually pretend not to see the waving money and then the wait staff come over and direct me to the table where I make a bit of a scene - No!! not in my bra!! OMIGOSH!! Here - in my shimmying hip, c'mon, you gotta be quick!!, maybe you can get it on the other side... kinda thing.
I never know how long to stay there really, I just sorta do a little bow and a slight curtsy, smile as graciously and serenely as I can and mouth thank you.
I have no problem with touching me, I just hate that men think you really want the bill stuffed into your bra and if you want the money - submit!! Such a cheap thrill. If they really do insist, and it HAS happened, then I just cover any exposed skin on my chest with my hands so the bra strap is really the only accessible area and stand still. Then the tipper looks like a dawk.

At the restaurant where I work, the owner will give me a money shower during my first set of the evening, usually during the second song. He uses 10 $1 bills, and yells OPA! during it (Greek restaurant) and makes a big deal.

At the end of the night, when the money is counted from the floor, he gets his $10 back, and the rest is mine-along with my regular pay for the night, and the rest of the tips that were handed to me/tucked onto my costume.

I also do the DISCREET bill tuck in my own belt, but lots of times I come out for my first song in a veil wrap over my costume (I usually start with a zil number) and so it is completely hidden. By the time I am unwrapping the veil for the veil portion, I have already been dancing around the restaurant greeting for a few minutes, so the restaurant patrons most likely assume that it came from another table.

I also frequently have friends or students come to dinner, and they are usually more than happy to be be the plant tipper in the audience as well. It DOES make a big difference. I had a family of four, with their two children, give me a small money shower, after seeing the owner do it.

Originally Posted by ambriehlmagycblade

At the restaurant where I work, the owner will give me a money shower during my first set of the evening, usually during the second song. He uses 10 $1 bills, and yells OPA! during it (Greek restaurant) and makes a big deal.

At the end of the night, when the money is counted from the floor, he gets his $10 back, and the rest is mine-along with my regular pay for the night, and the rest of the tips that were handed to me/tucked onto my costume.

I love that. What a great system!