Thread: A sticky wicket

Ok, so I make the schedule for two locations of the same Lebanese restaurant.

I was told by my manager that I needed to cut three of the dancers from the schedule because he had received complaint(s). He forwarded me an email he received to show me what had been said to him.

Without going into my reaction, I wanted to get a read on what you guys thought of this, and how I should approach him about it.

Originally Posted by bitchycustomer

To whom this may concern:


I have been a customer of [your club] for many years and have always enjoyed my time there. However, lately I have been disappointed over the entertainment and belly-dancers. I have recently brought some guest for a dinner and show. I bragged to them about the the authentic representation of Lebanese culture [your club] provided; but unfortunately, I was very disappointed in the show. I felt that the belly dancer "X" did not perform eloquently and was an embarrassment to my culture. I have gone out of my way to find the names of other dancers that I do not believe should be performing in your place of business or anywhere else, unless they perfect their dancing. The names include "X", "Y" and "Z". I personally would like to set up a reservation to bring some of my family who are visiting from out of town [next Saturday], but I expect real belly dancers. I do not plan to withdraw my business from [your club]; however, I also do not want to pay or bring my guest to watch any of the dancers I have named. If you believe any of these dancers will be performing on that night please take the time to notify me at xxxxxxxxxxxx.

Thank You,

Bitchy customer

Dancers X, Y, and Z are all competent dancers. Are they "authentic representations of Lebanese culture"? Maybe not, they have all worked here loyally for some time without any complaints. At a gut level I feel very strongly about letting them be simply cut from the schedule because of one email. (Disclosure - I haven't asked him if there have been other complaints yet)

Any suggestions on how I might approach this? This makes me so angry that I'm likely to give off a defensive attitude on behalf of these dancers, so I want to make sure that I really think through what I say and how I say it before I speak with him.

Do you know this said customer? Maybe they are trying to make room for their belly dancer friends to come in to the restaurant. I can see it now..."Psst, I (bitchy customer) just complained to the Al Amir manager and he is letting go of three dancers... now is your time to go in and grab that spot!"

Just a thought.

I had the same thought as Jasani. Something's amiss here, especially given the vagueness of the criticisms.


What does "did not perform eloquently" mean, exactly? Did she hock up a loogie and spit it on the floor? Did she lift her bra and flash the girls at the audience? Did she come on to your HUSBAND?

C'mon, lady, get serious.

What do you think the "embarrasment to my culture" was? Choice of costumes? Choice of music? Dance style? I can understand that the management does not want to lose customers, especially ones that might influence others to stay away. And the tone of the email sounds as if the writer considers himself or herself to be someone of importance and influence. I would think that a less obtrusive way to prevent the supposed embarrasment would be to simply call the restaurant to ask who was dancing on Saturday or to ask which night a preferred dancer would be working.

Difficult decisions for you.

Souzan

Just a thought, What about the customers that like XYZ dancers and come every week or once a month to see these particular dancers, They might follow the dancer to another venue. This customer is really bitchy, sounds like something is up. trying to Cut one dancer becuse she pissed you off for what ever reason is one thing but 3? This is strange, is Al Amir a lebanese resturnant? If so then I could see that maybe the lack of Lebanese style offends her, but what about the rest of the middle eastern cultures, the Turkish, Egyptian, etc

Very strange indeed.......Just a thought, do these dancers look similar? Height, hair, eyes,?

There is something not quite right about that complaint. I smell something fishy.

1. You would expect the complaint to be specific - as others here mentioned.
2. You would expect one dancer to be the subject of a complaint
3. For the customer to have 'taken the time' to find out the names of three of the dancers, well, that's a bit weird. This customer must have visited on a number of occassions, and kept in mind his/her goal (yet unknown).

Is there anyway you can get an 'independent' in look at all of the dancers there, and give feedback. That way, bitchy customers comments are taken seriously, plus you can set your own mind at rest regarding if an independant agrees with bitchy customer or not.

Does the manager know the person who wrote the letter? If it is from a regular customer then there may be no arguing it. The owners and manager are likely to go with what the customer says. They are in it for business, not to make dancers happy. Truly sucky situation and unfortunate because one complainer may ruin other customers chances of seeing dancers they may really enjoy. Does the management have any issues with the dancers mentioned? Could it possibly be a bogus email written by people who work there who may have issues with the dancers in question?

Hi Tamra - one possibility is to ask your manager if you can call customer X and find out the basis for their unhappiness with specific dancers. Then you may discern the truth and be able to make decisions based on that instead of being in the dark with assumptions.

Until you have further information I would simply not book those 3 dancers for the specific Saturday night mentioned in the correspondence. I agree with Ezma about having the owner call the customer. Personal contact would show serious intent to address the complaint and it would enable everyone to be more informed. Without adequate information you are unable to make wise decisions. The complaint does indeed sound odd and quite vague.

Maybe my recent experiences with the neighborhood PBD Duo have made me a little bit paranoid, but I would actually be surprised if the letter legitimately were written by a customer. To echo what Jasani said, the letter reeks of either a dancer or somebody with dancer friends is trying to get an "in" at the club.

Judging by things I've gone through recently and experiences Bhuzzers have shared, it's not uncommon for PBD's and other troublemakers to stir things up by posing as prospective clients. E-mail makes it all too easy.

I'd think if this customer really were that offended, they might cite the exact reasons why, whether the girls were doing cane to a zaar rhythm with Dina-style miniskirt costumes on, or if they acted inappropriately in front of customers, or whatever. "Embarrassment to my culture?" "...Unless they perfect their dancing?" "...did not perform eloquently?" C'mon, people. Those even sound like insults generated by dancers.

Has anyone else ever complained about the dancers named? Or, more importantly, do they get lots of good feedback? I'd relay the GOOD feedback to the owner and stress that this one person's opinion is the minority. I would really hate to see some good, competent dancers lose their job because somebody who may or may not even be a legitimate customer had such crappy reasons (or lack thereof) to *****. Good luck...

has the manager seen these dancers perform before? my thought was that if they've been performing there for a while, and he's seen them and never said anything about their dancing that would be worthy of firing them, then something's CERTAINLY fishy

The other thing could be that the customer is just one of those people who likes to show off his or her "expertise" for others. I am assuming the person in question is Lebonese or Lebonese American. Are the dancers in question Jewish? Were they using Turkish music and costuming? Are they leaning toward tribal fusion? Is the customer looking for Nadia Gamal (who wasn't middle eastern at all!)

The letter writer included a number correct? Can you or u and the restaurant owner call this writer? Maybe have a quick conference call to find out the "issues". Maybe you can find out what night this "letter writer" is coming and have his/her choice dancer perform.

Also - the letter writer may have not seen the other dancers at the restaurant. What happens when the letter writer sees them? Will the letter writer be offended even more?

Before you know it - everyone is gone from the restaurant.

I would try and call. Get down to business and really find out. If the "letter writer" stumbles over their words and studders - you know it is a fake.

Good Luck.

Originally Posted by ravenadesigns

The letter writer included a number correct? Can you or u and the restaurant owner call this writer? Maybe have a quick conference call to find out the "issues". Maybe you can find out what night this "letter writer" is coming and have his/her choice dancer perform.

Also - the letter writer may have not seen the other dancers at the restaurant. What happens when the letter writer sees them? Will the letter writer be offended even more?

Before you know it - everyone is gone from the restaurant.

I would try and call. Get down to business and really find out. If the "letter writer" stumbles over their words and studders - you know it is a fake.

Good Luck.

Yes. Better to stop a potential fake dead in their tracks than for anybody to lose their job in this club or elsewhere because of it. Some dancers are downright nasty when it comes to getting a foot in the door - I got thrown under the bus by a tag-team of PBD's within 48 hours of working at a new restaurant. Anything is possible.

Also, I agree with asking when the "letter writer" will be stopping by. If she doesn't offer a specific date or flat-out declines to meet you in person, you have 100% reason to call "troll" on this one. Do not pass go, do not collect $20.

Not entirely dismissing the odds that this letter could be legit. I do think, however, that any potential foul play needs to be exposed and dealt with appropriately.

After reading all the above wisdom a thought occurred to me. Why not have the owner contact the author and ask him/her to join both you and the owner for a cup of coffee and a chat? That would show even more concern on behalf of the owner and Entertainment Scheduler. If the person is actually as distressed as they state they should welcome the opportunity to openly and honestly discuss the situation with the two people that are in a position to handle such issues. A bonus to the meeting would be you would know what the person looks like so if you see him/her again you would be aware they were on-site. (I would try to make a pix via phone or camera so I would have the image available to share with the other dancers. Maybe step to the ladies room and grab a quick pix.) I have found most people prefer to complain without showing their face. To me that reeks of cowardice. If the author is not willing to have a conference call or meet for coffee I would tend to dismiss the email and file it under utter stupidity. Of course how the owner decides to proceed will be the deciding factor. I do recall they are quite fond of you TH, and they respect you enough to consider you family. Hopefully that will influence the handling of this matter.

Thanks for all your input. I, too, feel the email is "off" and last night I thought through many of the same points you bring up. I'm trying to get a read on what this person was objecting to - the dancers in question are not similar in height, weight, looks or dance style, so I'm having trouble pinpointing what the issue is.

I had thought about the possibility of PBD, but that doesn't feel right either.

My initial response to my manager was a one-line email:

Originally Posted by Tamra Henna

Do you plan to invite this woman to every audition to approve any new dancers [the club] hires?

Personally, I think schedule a conference call or even contacting her back myself is a bad idea. This woman obviously has an inflated opinion of herself - no need to further feed her ego by consulting with her on the dancing. Besides, my manager indicated that she specifically did not want the dancers contacting her (red flag, maybe?)

After I'd had some time to calm down, I decided that I would approach it this way:

The woman did name a date when she was having her big party. I will not schedule said dancers that night. I will, however, schedule myself that night *insert big, evil sh*t-eating grin here* to see what her reaction is.

I will suggest that my manager contact her back, tell her that we have scheduled different dancers on the night of her party, and in the future, if there are certain dancers that she prefers, she should call ahead and inquire who is dancing that night. It is no guarantee of her satisfaction, but I think that the message should be sent that although we are willing to meet her halfway, she ain't the boss.

I am going to push back on cutting these ladies completely from the schedule without more specific feedback. They have been working there for some time, and I feel they deserve a more fair process than just kicking them out because of one bitchy email, and I'm going to go to bat for them.

Thoughts?

Sounds like a good plan. Schedules are made a bit in advance usually and there is no reason that this customer can't check the schedule as to who is dancing when and make her personal decision. She has no right to make a decision for you, the Management, or the general public. Like you said, "she ain't the boss".

The woman did name a date when she was having her big party. I will not schedule said dancers that night. I will, however, schedule myself that night *insert big, evil sh*t-eating grin here* to see what her reaction is.

I will suggest that my manager contact her back, tell her that we have scheduled different dancers on the night of her party, and in the future, if there are certain dancers that she prefers, she should call ahead and inquire who is dancing that night. It is no guarantee of her satisfaction, but I think that the message should be sent that although we are willing to meet her halfway, she ain't the boss.

I am going to push back on cutting these ladies completely from the schedule without more specific feedback. They have been working there for some time, and I feel they deserve a more fair process than just kicking them out because of one bitchy email, and I'm going to go to bat for them.

Thoughts?

That all sounds like an awesome plan to me!

Hey, Dee, why'd you delete your posts? You had some good points.

Sounds like an awesome plan. I totally agree that the customer has every right to find out who's dancing that night when she makes her reservations, AND she has a right to complain all she wants, unfortunately. Management usually wants to know if a customer is unhappy about anything having to do with their establishment.

But I can't see firing anyone based on one customers' complaints. It would be different if you and/or the management had been sitting on the fence for some reason and this complaint tipped the balance. But one customer doesn't have the right to make hiring/firing decisions.

The manager of a restaurant has the decision to hire a fire a dancer when they deem necessary so I'm quiet happy that he came to you THTX. It shows that he values your opinion and at the same time doesn't want to loose customers.
I believe you have come up with a good solutions to the quandry at hand.

P.S. Do you know this unhappy customer? Has she made fusses before?

Originally Posted by Michelle75

The manager of a restaurant has the decision to hire a fire a dancer when they deem necessary so I'm quiet happy that he came to you THTX. It shows that he values your opinion and at the same time doesn't want to loose customers.
I believe you have come up with a good solutions to the quandry at hand.

P.S. Do you know this unhappy customer? Has she made fusses before?

Heh, I appreciate that he came to me, too, but I feel like it's partially so that I would do the dirty work of taking these ladies off the schedule and conveying the message so that they didn't have to do the hard part. I'm pushing that mess back in his court. I don't have the authority to hire, therefore I will not take on the responsibility of firing my friends and colleagues. I'm not paid to be a manager, and I'm not going to allow myself to be put into a situation that will only end in hurt feelings.

*ETA*

I DON'T know this customer, and I get the feeling from her email - she addresses "To whom it may concern" not to the manager or owner personally - that they don't know her either, no matter how important a customer she thinks she is.

I decided to send my manager an email, which I will follow up with a phone call later today:

Originally Posted by Tamra Henna

Dear [Manager and Owner],

This email made me very angry, especially since it seems like you want to fire three dancers based only on this one person's input. All three of these ladies have worked for you for some time, and it makes me sad and angry to think that any of us could be fired just because of one person's mean-spirited email.

If there are some specific issues that you yourself have noticed with [X, Y, and Z] then you should take the time to talk with each of them to let them know what the issues are and give them an opportunity to remedy the situation - even put them on probation until they improve any issues if you feel like that's appropriate - but to fire them altogether based on this one email would be to give this customer control over your personnel decisions, and that's a bad precedent to set, don't you agree?

May I suggest an alternative? I will schedule myself and one of the other dancers from the roster [on the date of the party], so the dancers that she does not like will not be there that night.

[Manager], if you want, maybe you could contact her back, thank her for her input, and tell her we have scheduled different dancers the night of her party. Perhaps tell her that if there are certain dancers she prefers she should call ahead and inquire when they will be dancing and visit [your club] then.

What alarms me about this email is that she does not mention any dancers she likes, only dancers she hates (AND she made an effort to find out the names only of the dancers she wants you to fire, not the dancers she likes) - which I find very strange and which makes me wonder what her motives really are. Who is good enough for her? What if she hates ALL of your dancers? Are you going to fire all of us? You should consider long and hard before you fire dancers based solely on the word of this one person - she will drive you crazy forever if you give her that much power over your business.

Surely there are customers that like [dancers X, Y, and Z]? [Your club] has had a variety of dancers and over the years I've noticed that some customers like one dancer, and some customers like another dancer, and having a variety meant that there was something for everyone. Surely not everyone feels the way this one customer does? If it's truly an ongoing problem with these three dancers, then please have a discussion with them first - they have worked very hard for [your club] over the years (many of us actively promote [the club] and our performances to our friends, family, students, and online) and I think that in fairness, they should be given the opportunity to correct any issues before being let go.

Please let me know if I have totally misunderstood the situation; I will call [manager] later to discuss things further.

We'll see...

That is a great plan and letter! I especially like this part:

"You should consider long and hard before you fire dancers based solely on the word of this one person - she will drive you crazy forever if you give her that much power over your business."

Even if the complaint is from an actual customer and not a PBD, the owner really needs to understand that point.

I do not plan to withdraw my business from nameofclub; however, I also do not want to pay or bring my guest to watch any of the dancers I have named.

Ummmm, maybe I'm reading too much into this but to me this line jumped out at me and screamed "I'm looking to get a free evening out of my complaint" Maybe I spent too many years listening to my mom's stories of customers who would eat an entire meal then complain about how it was "awful" and everything was "wrong" when the bill came in an attempt to get their meal for free or a discount.
Fingers are crossed that the owner does't cave in!

You make a good point, Viv, and hopefully you're right.

(Ooops, I forgot to delete a club reference - my only reason for doing so is so it wouldn't be searchable...)

Originally Posted by tamrahennatx

Hey, Dee, why'd you delete your posts? You had some good points.

I tend to just leap in with my opinion without reading everything that everyone else has already said, and after taking the time to actually read every body else's posts, I thought some of my points were kind of redundant. You're right, though, I probably should have just left them!

Originally Posted by deelight

I tend to just leap in with my opinion without reading everything that everyone else has already said, and after taking the time to actually read every body else's posts, I thought some of my points were kind of redundant. You're right, though, I probably should have just left them!

LOL, you sound like me! I think you had very valid comments, though, redundant or not.

Update: I spoke to my manager, and he says he does not want to fire the three dancers mentioned. We will not schedule them the night of the party - all will be well.

He does want me to talk to them, though about the need to work on their dancing. I'm really not enthusiastic about being in that position, and since I don't get to watch their shows often I don't have any good firsthand feedback to give them. Any thoughts?

can you get a videotape maybe?