Thread: weird rentals

So, the studio that I am buying was previously a "healing movements and arts" kind of space. Yoga, Nia, all kinds of good stuff.
And some other stuff that...welll...maybe not so good.
I got a call from a woman who does "sexual exploration coaching" who has apparently rented this space in the past (before I bought it) and wants to have a Halloween night event with a "guided ritual experience" for couples. My ick-meter pegged at this, but she caught me so off guard I prevaricated and told her I had to check and see if I had availability, and then I'd call her back. But now I'm thinking that kind of thing really does not fit with the image I want for my studio. How do I say that? Or...should I try to be more open minded? Guess I'm just a good ol' fashioned bellydancing prude. Any advice on how to politely decline?

Since you're the new owner, you have the right to "pick and choose" if someone else wants to rent space. Especially if it doesn't fit with the image you're trying to project.

So, people would be having sex in your dance studio?? Um, yeah, I would not have a problem saying flat out no to that!

are you going to have anything in your studio other than dance? if not, it seems like that would be a good, solid reason to decline... can't argue with it and you don't have to get into your feelings about what she does.

ummmm......Sabine, I gotta say trust your gut on this one. I know you quite well and I don't think you're a prude. I agree with dancingstar's advice if you can find a way to convey that this will be a ''movement'' or ''dance'' based studio only..........or just say your ''ick-o-meter'' went off, lol!

'I'm sorry, I checked into it and my insurance won't cover me for this sort of thing. It only covers dance and fitness. Good luck, hope you're able to find a place!"

It might even be worth it to ask what she means by that. It seems a little wonkie to me. After all, you are not running a sex club.

*Excellent* response, Lauren! Very straight and forward without having to get into anything. Who could argue an insurance coverage point?

On second thought -- I think I'd just be really honest and say '"The theme of your event doesn't fit in with the studio's new direction."

well...for whatever it's worth...I don't think it is the sort of thing that you might be thinking it is. I've been to tantric workshops and similar themed activities myself, and iy usually is more sacred breathing exercises and other mental/emotional activities that help create a "sacred" space. There has never been any nudity at the things I've attended.

I'm just putting that out there because it might not be something that bothered you if you had more information.

With that said, I also completely agree that you have the right to choose who you rent space to. If you still feel uncomfortable, don't do it.

Can you google her name or the title of her workshop to see whether there's further explanation somewhere on the web that might help you determine whether it's something as innocuous as what Samira suggests or more, uh, frisky?

I'd like to add that you should perhaps consider looking at their marketing materials. If they are decent and well put together then it won't reflect poorly, but if they are obviously tasteless and lewd, then you would want to avoid working with them..

Don't feel bad for deciding to not rent to her. It's your choice, and it's always good to go with your gut instincts. Of course there's nothing wrong with finding out more info, being open to the idea, but it's all up to you. And as far as what to say to her: You can just be honest. People never have any problems saying : "oh belly dancing is just too risque for us" or "your dance is too sexy for our taste, this is a family orinted event, you know". Of course you can be more diplomatic, but you don't even need to hide behind an excuse. Just say that it's not the right theme for your studio.

While it does sound a bit off, I think I would give her the benefit of the doubt and find out more about her and her workshops. Perhaps even discuss this with the previous owner to get her feel for it.

The reason I'm saying this is that too many times on this board I see posts of people complaining about studios, clients, businesses, etc. who judge belly dance as being "erotic" w/o learning about it first. I wouldn't want to do the same to another person or their practice w/o finding out the details. I just think that's fair.

Keep in mind what your students and renters would think.

I would not use a studio that had something that I thought was not family-friendly. There is some danger of guilt by association here.

On the otherhand, how do you feel about bellydancing and pole dancing at the same studio? Consider that. Then go with your gut.

Thanks, this is all great advice. I have to get used to the idea that I am actually in charge and don't have to go with anything I do not like. And yes, I agree that everything in MY studio must be family-friendly. We have teen bellydance and yoga classes, and we will have calendar flyers listing all the classes of the month, with descriptions. I can just imagine all the moms with looks of horror on their faces! .w.:

Oh and Samira--thanks for the reality check, I know it may be all innocent and will definitely look into it, and find out what it would be about and whether the marketing materials look appropriate. Even if I don't allow this event, she might call back, and I want to be ready!

Originally Posted by Sabine

Oh and Samira--thanks for the reality check, I know it may be all innocent and will definitely look into it, and find out what it would be about and whether the marketing materials look appropriate. Even if I don't allow this event, she might call back, and I want to be ready!

No worries. You really have to do what is comfortable for you. I've got no problem with that.

I just wanted to offer another perspective so you didn't feel so creeped out or icky about their request. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have them in your space, but I didn't want you thinking it was going to be some sort of orgy on the floor. .w.:

Some of the tantric and sexual workshops out there can be very safe and empowering for people. They are often more misunderstood than belly dancing.

I think if you are planning to have any childrens classes at your studio it would not be prudent to have any classes with adult content such as discussions about sex. It is a branding conflict.

Originally Posted by aazura

While it does sound a bit off, I think I would give her the benefit of the doubt and find out more about her and her workshops. Perhaps even discuss this with the previous owner to get her feel for it.

The reason I'm saying this is that too many times on this board I see posts of people complaining about studios, clients, businesses, etc. who judge belly dance as being "erotic" w/o learning about it first. I wouldn't want to do the same to another person or their practice w/o finding out the details. I just think that's fair.

Fair to be open, but I think the onus should be on the "sexual exploration coach" (or any other prospective renter) to make the pitch about herself, her workshop content and why it's a good fit for the new studio...not Sabine's job to sleuth it out. If I'm approaching a new place you better believe I'm armed with everything to sell them on the idea! ..l;,

It's a huge pet peeve when someone solicits me about sponsoring them for workshops and that's it--nothing else except maybe their website addy in the email. No background, areas of expertise, what you want to teach, why I should want to sponsor you, rates, ANYTHING!

~~Kimahri

Originally Posted by Sabine

"sexual exploration coaching" ... Halloween night ... "guided ritual experience" for couples

Nothing about this says 'Tantra' to me. Actually, it sounds more Pagan. But she's been very clear that it's sexual, it's for couples, and it's a 'guided experience' not a lecture. That sounds really hands-on.

My only real point is that what people on this thread might envision as "hands on" may not be overt sexual experiences and/or orgies--even in a pagan context. I'm just suggesting that it isn't necessarily as graphic as some might assume.

Pagan, Tantra, Alien... That wasn't really my point.

Regardless, I do completely agree that family-friendly and overt adult sexual themed things don't go together.

You wouldn't have to list the event as part of your classes. If you rent the studio to her for a private function, then no one should be bothered by it or even know about it. She isn't asking you to advertise it as an available class to your students is she?