Thread: "This song sucks...can you play XYZ"

Ok. I'm well aware that no one can please everyone 100% of the time. So what do you say to a restaurant patron who is rude enough to grab hold of your arm during audience partic. time and exclaim "this song really sucks, can't you play something good?" ,m::

This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm pretty sure it's the same group of guys. They come in a lot, they are M.E. and they suffer from some "egotist syndrome" that causes them to think the world, and particularly the dancer, revolves around them. Sorry, no... The conundrum is, they tip really really well, and start others tipping, too. But, I don't care what your tip is, I'm not going to be your servant and bend to your every whim.

So, how do you gracefully say "shove off, the song'll be over in less than 5 minutes. until then, sit down and shut up while everyone else has fun... Oh, and thanks for the $20"? .w.:

Incidentally, all they want to hear is Amr Diab.

One other patron who is the same way wants to hear one cd. And nothing else.

bah! i had the same thing happen a couple weeks ago. this group of guys tells me that one of them is getting married the next day. they ended up paying me out of their own pockets to do another set and they asked me to pick upbeat songs. i didn't have my "party" cds with me, i only had a few of my normal set cds with me at the time and all my sets include a variety of songs, some more introverted than others, some really introverted. apparently i didn't have enough pop for them and they were getting frustrated. i kept having to run back to the office to change the song, and even ended up playing one song twice. i should have charged more! and i should have told them to call in ahead of time next time if they want the bellydancer to dance to specific music for a special occasion.

but if they hadn't paid for my xtra set i wouldn't have dealt with it. if the owner has a problem with your music that'd be different. maybe you could tell them that the song you are currently dancing to was also a request? and if they persist, tell them that the owner requested this song, he's the one paying you, not them. and if they take it up with the owner maybe he can reason with them.

I would pander...I guess the aud part could always be to Amir and the one CD...the other patrons wont know the dif...and I like Amir, it is soooo easy to get em up dancing to his stuff. As insufferable as they may be, you gotta work with who ya got!

Can you make two cd's, one with songs that YOU like, and one with songs more of their taste so that if they show up, you can play the cd that makes you both happy? When I dance at restaurants, I carry around 3-4 cds (some have short shows, some have songs I know certain regulars like, etc) so that I'm prepared to please the patrons when I arrive. If there are songs I know they like that I don't, I keep them as tipping songs (at the end of the cd) so that I don't have to put on a show to those songs, rather I'm mostly socializing at that point.

Here is what I would do. When you see them, sashay up and tell them " I know how much you love Amr Diab. I found some music I think you will really like. A friend of mine from "whatever country they are from" suggested it." Make them feel special.

Eeeh, I wouldnt bother going to those extents... Its your show, you decide what you dance - as long as the restaurant owner (whos the person paying you) doesnt object or tell you to change your music - let the patrons be just that... patrons.

Worst come worse, I would tell the guy to bring his own CD next time and you'd be happy to dance to "his" music with him... then once you get him up to dance - take his chair and sit down while he dances.... watch how fast he'll shut up and sit down and NEVER have a problem with your music choice again.... I've done it - it works really well...

DaVid

Hang on, you get tipped $20s? dude, wherever you are at, dont leave that place... lol :)

David...she only gets tipped 20's by the music nazi. Thats why I say develop a real fondness for Amir..he sounds just like a 20 feels.

We're just talking about the audience participation part, right? Not your whole show?

I used to have a couple of big-tipping regulars who only liked Hakim. I learned to love Hakim!!! I'd put in two audience participation songs and make sure one of them was always Hakim, and we'd play Hakim non-stop between sets for open dancing (and came out in our coverups to dance with the patrons). Those were fun times.


Later, the leader of that group got into an argument with the restaurant owner, they left forever and the gig fizzled out after that. What had been a happy, dancing, partying and tipping environment turned into a dead zone.

Oh I hate this! I actually had a patron stop me before I went on and tell me that he had music for me on his laptop. I told him that no, I have a set show, it's on CD, and he informed me that I'd be dancing to the music he liked. This is a regular restaurant show! Luckily his laptop wasn't working properly, but even still, I was annoyed.

Anyway, I think it's rude and obnoxious to be so demanding, but I think that if we refused to cooperate with the rude and obnoxious people at gigs, we'd all be out of work. I think putting an Amir Diab song on the end of your CD is a good idea. It feels like giving in, but it's just business.

Also, I second carrying around a party CD. I can't tell you how many times I've had an owner say No slow stuff as I'm handing him a CD!

I've dealt with this from a relative of the owner of a restaurant. He only likes Nancy Ajam and a few other songs that he knows. He would actually skip the songs if he "hated" them. I just compromised and would sandwich songs he "hated" with songs he loved, so he'd have the opportunity to get up and dance and then take a break, and hopefully not pay too much attention when the songs he hated came on. ,r:;

Ahh, all you calm collected people :-) I was hoping for some up-in-arms reactions. heh heh! The restaurant owner generally loves my music. And yes, I do like Amr Diab (and Hakim, and Nancy) quite a bit....when mixed with some more complex stuff, for my own growth & enjoyment. I think what got to me wasn't so much the request...many, many people request songs and I'm more than happy to oblige--I always have nearly my entire cd collection with me anyway....it was the air of entitlement with which he asked for the change of music that irritated me.

But, you're right, it's business. And yes, i did tell him I'd be happy to play some Amr Diab as soon as the song was over... but then, as soon as the song was over the manager informed me that there was a birthday and I ended up dancing to the hakim "birthday song" (please shoot me now....I really do hate that song).

For audience partic. I almost always play Hakim or Amr or Nancy or Mezdeke. It's what they like, and I respect that...and yes, it's what makes it so fun, when they are enjoying it.

I just didn't like the tone of voice. Come on, ask nicely, you know?

Originally Posted by Sonja2

[...]it was the air of entitlement with which he asked for the change of music that irritated me. [...]

I just didn't like the tone of voice. Come on, ask nicely, you know?

Oh, I understand completely! And believe me, when this type of thing happens to me, I get irate on the inside. I would bend over backwards to provide people with the show they liked if they made requests or even brought music, but when people demand it I just get pissy.

I got so indignant when a man pulled me aside, asked where I got my music, and after hearing my answer said, "Well it's not all Egyptian, I know b/c I am Egyptian - from Egypt - and you shouldn't be using music that's not." I've never claimed to use strictly Egyptian music and styling, and the music selection for that place has always been to cater to the clientèle, which is primarily NOT Egyptian. I politely pointed this out to him, but in my head I just kept thinking what a jerk. Ethnocentrism knows no bounds.

I feel you on the more complex music. I felt so proud as I began to tackle difficult and substantiative pieces, and then shocked to have a manager and customer or two ask me to use more pop, so I feel your pain there. I've pretty much given up on restaurants as any sort of artistic experience.

Oh not the birthday song! Is there a pukey smiley?

Oh not the birthday song! Is there a pukey smiley?

Ask and ye shall receive!

Haha! Great minds think alike. I just told my students this same tip tonight. Very effective!

Originally Posted by david

Worst come worse, I would tell the guy to bring his own CD next time and you'd be happy to dance to "his" music with him... then once you get him up to dance - take his chair and sit down while he dances.... watch how fast he'll shut up and sit down and NEVER have a problem with your music choice again.... I've done it - it works really well...

DaVid

Originally Posted by Uulady

Haha! Great minds think alike. I just told my students this same tip tonight. Very effective!

YAY! I know it may sound too "brutal" to some - but it really comes down to how much you are going to let OTHERS decide what the details of YOUR product is going to be. Today it's music, tomorrow it's costume colors, the day after it's your hair, and then your boob size... and then they dont want you no more because you're nothing like you used to be....(DOH).

I'm very adament about setting boundaries from the get-go. The reason, well, own experience and the fact that one of my dear friends and colleagues back in the day - fabulous dancer and a beautiful woman - kept taking comments to heart. She had various plastic surgery done based on comments from patrons/employers among other reasons, to be accommodating.

Last time I saw her she didnt look like herself at all, she had quit dancing and it made me really sad. I know it's an extreme case, but still. It's important to stay in control of the product you are hired to provide once you've been hired.

DaVid

Originally Posted by david

I'm very adament about setting boundaries from the get-go. The reason, well, own experience and the fact that one of my dear friends and colleagues back in the day - fabulous dancer and a beautiful woman - kept taking comments to heart. She had various plastic surgery done based on comments from patrons/employers among other reasons, to be accommodating.

Last time I saw her she didnt look like herself at all, she had quit dancing and it made me really sad. I know it's an extreme case, but still. It's important to stay in control of the product you are hired to provide once you've been hired.

DaVid

Holy crap, this is an extreme case! .w.: I've done the "sit down & let 'em dance" many times, especially for really young college girls who come in & want to be the "star" (I've had them actually physically try to elbow me out of the way...there is no end to the possibilities for rudeness). Anyway, you're right. I sit down & clap until they realize they are....*gasp* all alone, with everyone silently staring at them. That usually does it. then, after my set, I invite them back up to dance WITH me, in the hopes that the next time around, they'll be better behaved.

Same here - they only seem to want FAST!

Originally Posted by LeylaFahada

I can't tell you how many times I've had an owner say No slow stuff as I'm handing him a CD!

haha please enlighten me, what is the 'hakim birthday song'? is it just hakim singing the bday song in arabic? or what?

say - "oh darn, I played that song last set. Sorry you missed it"

Originally Posted by maranajla

Oh not the birthday song! Is there a pukey smiley?

Ask and ye shall receive!

Fantastic! Thank you ..l;,

Originally Posted by zfejzic

haha please enlighten me, what is the 'hakim birthday song'? is it just hakim singing the bday song in arabic? or what?

Oh poo, I meant Walid Toufic. Sorry. I stand corrected! Either way, I hate it.

Sana Helwa Ya gamiiil Sana helwa ya gamiiil Sana helwa ya gamiiiileeeeeh San helwa ya gamiiiiil
Habbi baade to jo', habbi baade to jo', habbi baaade, habbi baade, habbi baade to joo''.

That one? lol

Originally Posted by david

Habbi baade to jo', habbi baade to jo', habbi baaade, habbi baade, habbi baade to joo''.

That one? lol

..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,..l;,

That would be the one. It gets a huge thumbs down from me, even though I am going to be dancing to it for a bellygram on Saturday. Woo hoo...

Aww, but people like it!

It's ghastly but kind of funny.

Originally Posted by zumarrad

Aww, but people like it!

It's ghastly but kind of funny.

Yeah, people like the Electric Slide and the Makarena, too.....

Originally Posted by Sonja2

Yeah, people like the Electric Slide and the Makarena, too.....

That's right and they were only fun when we were in high school....or extremely intoxicated....which was probably right after high school..g.: lol

And by the way....who is it that is causing all that ruckous for you? Is it the Saudi guys again? They were boarish,r:;

Originally Posted by Sonja2

...it was the air of entitlement with which he asked for the change of music that irritated me.

aaaaah. Yes.