Thread: I need help with writing my marketing blurb!

Since I relocated a year ago I have done exactly 0 professional gigs except a brief stint in a restaurant. I have spent a lot of time have emo sessions about not dancing whilst doing nothing to actually seek work. I have decided to sign up for a few agencies (for various reasons)

Anyway, I need some self important promotional material to sell myself to agencies/customers but I have 2 problems

a) I am so desperately British and get a physical gut response to trying to write anything nice about myself, especially 'blowing my own trumpet'. I am too damn honest. About the only positive word I usually manage to put in my bios is 'experienced', which doesn't sound all that exciting.

b) Even if I could overcome (a) I can't write to save my life (as I'm sure readers of my Livejournal will attest) - I am somehow blunt/telegraphic and waffly at the same time

I want to try and write something truthful but exciting that would make people want to a)hire a bellydance b) hire me in particular.

About me

-I've been 'pro' (whatever that means) since 2002
-Did assortment of crazy gigs in the past, a famous department store I could name drop, some celebrities (that happened to be in a restaurant when I was dancing), some other gigs I could make sound semi-impressive.
-I would say my strength is musicality and, well, 'authenticity' - not wanting to get into semantics, just I want to convey customers will be getting Egyptian dance to egyptian music not flaming hoop clog fusion or gypsy from russia with love/princess jasmine fantasy.
-I guess when asked most people would describe me as precise/controlled, people usually comment on my isolations, i feel i put a lot of energy in but it is contained and controlled - but that's hard to sell to anyone other than fellow dancers. It probably sounds 'boring' to the GP.
- I would say when entertaining the GP I'm more 'dell'a' (no idea how you spell it!), small and cute rather than sexy warrior godess, or ma'lima etc.

I need help!! I know some bhuzzers like playing around with words so any advice is appreciated. I'm not being cheeky and expecting it written for me just some hints - anything really - how to structure a few paragraphs of blurb, certain 'truthful yet exciting' ways of phrasing things.

Thanks in advance

Zaf

Originally Posted by zafirah

Since I relocated a year ago I have done exactly 0 professional gigs except a brief stint in a restaurant. I have spent a lot of time have emo sessions about not dancing whilst doing nothing to actually seek work. I have decided to sign up for a few agencies (for various reasons)

Anyway, I need some self important promotional wank to sell myself to agencies/customers but I have 2 problems

a) I am so desperately British and get a physical gut response to trying to write anything nice about myself, especially 'blowing my own trumpet'. I am too damn honest. About the only positive word I usually manage to put in my bios is 'experienced', which doesn't sound all that exciting.

b) Even if I could overcome (a) I can't write to save my life (as I'm sure readers of my Livejournal will attest) - I am somehow blunt/telegraphic and waffly at the same time

I want to try and write something truthful but exciting that would make people want to a)hire a bellydance b) hire me in particular.

About me

-I've been 'pro' (whatever that means) since 2002
-Did assortment of crazy gigs in the past, a famous department store I could name drop, some celebrities (that happened to be in a restaurant when I was dancing), some other gigs I could make sound semi-impressive.
-I would say my strength is musicality and, well, 'authenticity' - not wanting to get into semantics, just I want to convey customers will be getting Egyptian dance to egyptian music not flaming hoop clog fusion or gypsy from russia with love/princess jasmine fantasy.
-I guess when asked most people would describe me as precise/controlled, people usually comment on my isolations, i feel i put a lot of energy in but it is contained and controlled - but that's hard to sell to anyone other than fellow dancers. It probably sounds 'boring' to the GP.
- I would say when entertaining the GP I'm more 'dell'a' (no idea how you spell it!), small and cute rather than sexy warrior godess, or ma'lima etc.

I need help!! I know some bhuzzers like playing around with words so any advice is appreciated. I'm not being cheeky and expecting it written for me just some hints - anything really - how to structure a few paragraphs of wank, certain 'truthful yet exciting' ways of phrasing things.

Thanks in advance

Zaf

Please refrain from using the word 'wank'. The correct term is 'Bombay Roll'.

Be concise, but still blow your own trumpet. Use a thesaurus...best tool for wordage there is.

Girl, you've got to blow your own trumpet with pride-- there's nothing wrong with it if you want work!

Hmmm....... I'm going to start percolating some ideas for you...... I hate writing these things for myself but it can be easier for another person ;)

Quite honestly, I often feeled turned off when I see those blurbs where dancers have written glowingly about their accomplishments in the third person. ("La Diva has danced before the crowned heads of Europe with exquisite grace and electrifying passion, creating performances of unsurpassed blah blah blah . . .") You could consider writing a little something about yourself in a modest and straightforward sort of way, then writing in glowing terms about The Dance and what it means to you.
Just a thought,
Rosette

As a dancer I can see Rosettes point. As someone organizing an event, while I don't like syrupy, I do appreciate a good sales schpeal.

As a charter member and the current head of The Society for Recovering "Real Ladies don't draw attention to themselves," I would recommend writing the most outlandish, most over the top copy you can think of. Just start writing it. See what happens. Enjoy it! Feel like you are having some one pour the butter boat, the whipped cream, the chocolate sauce and the nuts over you. The little candy sprinkles, too. And YOU are still the yummiest part of the whole d*mn thing!

Then, when you have stopped laughing, go through it and pare down. See what becomes real for you.

And if all else fails, hire DaVid! ;-)

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by Rosette

Quite honestly, I often feeled turned off when I see those blurbs where dancers have written glowingly about their accomplishments in the third person. ("La Diva has danced before the crowned heads of Europe with exquisite grace and electrifying passion, creating performances of unsurpassed blah blah blah . . .") You could consider writing a little something about yourself in a modest and straightforward sort of way, then writing in glowing terms about The Dance and what it means to you.
Just a thought,
Rosette

I agree,, but one can still blow the trumpet but do it with modesty. There's blowing and blasting. I always tend to cringe when dancers name drop and, even worse, use testimonials. Personally, I find that embarrassing. It's different if the testimonials are published about you in say, a newspaper or magazine but on your own blurb or website? .w.:

Zafirah has danced at weddings, launches, on stage in Cairo, and in the Edinburgh Festival. She is a dazzing performer, who impresses with her sparkling personality, cheeky smile, and precise graceful technique. Zafirah is known for her authentic portrayal of Egyptian style bellydance.

Put some quotes in from other people too.

"zaf is the best dancer evvva" Mrs satisfied customer.

Why did I think this was going to be about marketing something sexual? ,r:;

Originally Posted by Bellydancingcaroline

Zafirah has danced at weddings, launches, on stage in Cairo, and in the Edinburgh Festival. She is a dazzing performer, who impresses with her sparkling personality, cheeky smile, and precise graceful technique. Zafirah is known for her authentic portrayal of Egyptian style bellydance.

Put some quotes in from other people too.

"zaf is the best dancer evvva" Mrs satisfied customer.

Personally I still like Helen's quote from a few years back, reviewing Charlotte's first ever hafla

"the second best female solo oriental performance I have seen this year" (after Jillina but the quote works better without that!)

It appeals to my sense of humour but does not make great marketing.

How does using quotes work anyway? Do I have to have written evidence? If someone has said it can I use it? Do I need to ask permission? I've never bothered to ask people to write/say nice things about me 'on record'.

Z

slightly off topic, but I think I am confused about the word wank. I thought it meant:
1. An act of masturbation.
2. A detestable person.

;o)

Originally Posted by stardancer

slightly off topic, but I think I am confused about the word wank. I thought it meant:
1. An act of masturbation.
2. A detestable person.

;o)

Maybe it's a British thing, although I'm pretty sure I've seen Zummarrad (NZ) use it too. It's a fairly inoffensive term for over the top verbiage, people that like the sound of their own voice a bit too much or over the top over compleimentary writing. So from the same root as '1'. Maybe its less inoffensive in the US. Not sure i cna change the thread title, but i'll try.

Originally Posted by zafirah

Personally I still like Helen's quote from a few years back, reviewing Charlotte's first ever hafla

"the second best female solo oriental performance I have seen this year" (after Jillina but the quote works better without that!)

It appeals to my sense of humour but does not make great marketing.

How does using quotes work anyway? Do I have to have written evidence? If someone has said it can I use it? Do I need to ask permission? I've never bothered to ask people to write/say nice things about me 'on record'.

Z

I would ask permisson, but I would consider both written and verbally given 'testimonials'. There was another one I heard in the loos at the Plesance when you did the drum solo and el fen. "I'm glad I don't have to follow that!", said in the sense that anyone following you was bound to look bad in comparison. Though, perhaps appealing to the sense of humour, possibly not one to use :-)

Im really glad you were able to change the title, I'm more comfortable with it. I'm British, but I only know this word with the same connotation as that
mentioned by Stardancer. Mind you, I don't get out a lot.:)




QUOTE=zafirah;365721]Maybe it's a British thing, although I'm pretty sure I've seen Zummarrad (NZ) use it too. It's a fairly inoffensive term for over the top verbiage, people that like the sound of their own voice a bit too much or over the top over compleimentary writing. So from the same root as '1'. Maybe its less inoffensive in the US. Not sure i cna change the thread title, but i'll try.[/QUOTE]

I wasn't offended at all but it made me chuckle every time I saw it

Originally Posted by zafirah

Personally I still like Helen's quote from a few years back, reviewing Charlotte's first ever hafla

"the second best female solo oriental performance I have seen this year" (after Jillina but the quote works better without that!)

It appeals to my sense of humour but does not make great marketing.

How does using quotes work anyway? Do I have to have written evidence? If someone has said it can I use it? Do I need to ask permission? I've never bothered to ask people to write/say nice things about me 'on record'.

Z

I just emailed a group of my teachers/mentors/students and straight up asked for quotes. I phrased it as ''I'm updating my promotional material and I was wondering if you would mind composing a brief statement in praise of my teaching skills/performing/etc. I really respect your opinion and thanks for taking the time...." Or something like that. There's no harm in asking :)

Huh~ I totally missed the 'wank', guess I stopped reading after 'marketing'. :D

Can you try to write it as though it's about someone else? We are invariably kinder towards others than towards ourselves, perhaps this can trick your mind?

It might sound funny--but to start, write the most exaggerated, overwrought, braggy, overdone piece of puffery imaginable.

Put it on Bhuz and then let us dial it down to an acceptable wanker level.

Sorry, I can't resist this...

***Put your wank on Bhuz and let us see it. ***

Originally Posted by stardancer

I wasn't offended at all but it made me chuckle every time I saw it

ha! i agree! i thought it meant "something else" too! ;)

as someone who works in PR....make sure your who, what, when, where, why is within your first paragraph or first few sentences....most people (even potential clients) will only read something for about 30 seconds (60 seconds for resumes!) You can elaborate more later on, but make sure to get your best points in early