Thread: Clients Requesting the Obvious

This is sort of the flip side of the thread we had recently on clients asking us not to do certain things that we'd never even think of doing (I believe Shira was instructed not to stage dive and body surf the crowd). What about clients asking you to include something in your performance so obvious that it takes every molecule of your self control to not blurt out, "Well, DUH!!!".

I was hired today for a 50th birthday party BellyGram. The client included the following instructions along with other pertinent information for the contract:

Do a fast dance with alot of belly movement.

Now, they've never hired a dancer before, so it's not like I'm annoyed or upset - I just thought it was kind of funny. I would think that the fact that I am a Belly Dancer being hired for a package called a BellyGram would kind of indicate I'd maybe throw some belly movements in there. Part of me fantasizes about putting on Chicky and undulating rapidly in place for 6 minutes straight. ..l;,

Anyone else have any Captain Obvious client stories?

Originally Posted by laura 2

Part of me fantasizes about putting on Chicky and undulating rapidly in place for 6 minutes straight.

*chokes on morning coffee* ..l;,

Are you proficient at diagonal and upside down belly rolls a la Delilah? Can you flip coins on your stomach? This might be a great time to bust out your best "giving birth to an alien baby" moves! Make 'em sorry they even asked ..g.:

Not exactly Captain Obvious, but a little odd - I had an agency call on behalf of some kid's mom for a 19th b-day party. The mom wanted to surround the 19-year-old with beautiful women wrapping their veils around him, floating around and being sexy. I would have gotten $90 for this affair.

Seeing that I'm unemployed and could use $90, maybe I could have gone in there, tied the kid to the chair with my veil, and ran. In and out the door in 2 minutes flat, that would be the easiest $90 EVAH.

Hey, the mom said she wanted to wrap her son in veils....

Maybe she was thinking of the scene from Almost Famous, where all the girls twirl around the teenage kid with long scarves, chanting, "Deflower, deflower..."

I always get the people who ask if I have my own music, or do they have to supply that? Maybe it's not obvious to the GP, but do they really think that I would let some random person with no exposure to ME music pick my songs for me!?!?

I get, do you bring you own music. Will you wear an "outfit" (no I'm coming in my tracksuit bottoms). Also, "do you really look like that" (after viewing my business card) and "is that really you?" - do people really supply business cards with photos that aren't of them?

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

I always get the people who ask if I have my own music, or do they have to supply that? Maybe it's not obvious to the GP, but do they really think that I would let some random person with no exposure to ME music pick my songs for me!?!?

Yes, I get this question a lot too! I wonder if it just isn't obvious to some people? It seems so natural to us, I can't think of any entertainer where they don't supply their own music?

let's see.
are you middle eastern? (doesnt it say GREEK all over my website?)
i get the bring your own music all the time.
what are you going to do when you get here?
ummmmmm, dance?

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

Maybe it's not obvious to the GP, but do they really think that I would let some random person with no exposure to ME music pick my songs for me!?!?

Yes they do think so! I was so shocked when I showed up for a gig that my dance partner and I were hired for. It was in a club and I told the owner I was bringing a CD, he said great, no problem.

I get there and the DJ tells me that no, he's using an iPod, no CD capabilities, but no worries, he brought music for us! I asked what he meant, he said, "you know, middle eastern stuff - like dub beats."

What in nine hells is that supposed to mean? Do you mean the musical form that (as I understand it) grew out of reggae? Is reggae really big in that nebulous place we call The Middle East?

I explained that since we were a duo performing on a stage, we had a carefully planned show and choreographed dancing. He asked, can't you do those dances to other music?

Anyway, I've got the music and "outfits" question too. I've gotten, will you dance with a scarf and will you use those little [hand clap motion meaning zils]?

I wish I had something better to add!

Originally Posted by laura 2

I was hired today for a 50th birthday party BellyGram. The client included the following instructions along with other pertinent information for the contract:

Do a fast dance with alot of belly movement.

I have to say, at least he is telling you up front what he wants! It makes sense to you that that's what you'd do (with maybe a smaller helping of belly movement), but I know there are "pros" out there who would do a sexy slow dance on a bellygram..c::, and couldn't do the belly tricks (rolls and flutters) if they tried. I'm just imagining this older guy as someone who talks often about the bellydancer he saw once who could do incredible belly work, and his friend wants you to recreate the experience...g.:

Originally Posted by da Sage

I have to say, at least he is telling you up front what he wants! It makes sense to you that that's what you'd do (with maybe a smaller helping of belly movement), but I know there are "pros" out there who would do a sexy slow dance on a bellygram..c::, and couldn't do the belly tricks (rolls and flutters) if they tried. I'm just imagining this older guy as someone who talks often about the bellydancer he saw once who could do incredible belly work, and his friend wants you to recreate the experience...g.:

Well, it's actually the birthday boy's daughter that hired me...but maybe the rest is true!

Originally Posted by danielabellydance

I always get the people who ask if I have my own music,

i get that same question all the time. i think non-performers don't understand performance preparation in general so it might not occur to them that we actually planned a special show for them.

also lots of requests for "finger clackers" "hand thingies" "finger clickers" and "clackity noise makers you do with your hands"

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

i

also lots of requests for "finger clackers" "hand thingies" "finger clickers" and "clackity noise makers you do with your hands"

Bwahahahahahhhaaaa muahahhahhaaa ..l;,..l;, ..g.:

clackity noice makers...... finger clackers.....

that made my day, hilarious!

Re: the music questions
you know how we see pole dancers and such, sometimes they do a bunch of pretty and neat moves but often it's not particularly linked to the music. i'm not comparing belly dancers to pole dancers, just that there are some dance forms where the music doesn't particularly matter (though, i donno if i'd call it dance if it's not really linked to the music, but that's a different story), maybe some people think it's that way with bellydance.
also, some people have absolutely no musical sense. they might appreciate your dancing but couldn't care less about the music..

Originally Posted by Kathiya

Re: the music questions
you know how we see pole dancers and such, sometimes they do a bunch of pretty and neat moves but often it's not particularly linked to the music. i'm not comparing belly dancers to pole dancers, just that there are some dance forms where the music doesn't particularly matter (though, i donno if i'd call it dance if it's not really linked to the music, but that's a different story), maybe some people think it's that way with bellydance.
also, some people have absolutely no musical sense. they might appreciate your dancing but couldn't care less about the music..

This is a really good point. I know that until I started taking classes, I didn't realize to what extent belly dance is about musical interpretation. I assumed all dancing was to some degree, but not this much.

Originally Posted by sabrinabellydancer

also lots of requests for "finger clackers" "hand thingies" "finger clickers" and "clackity noise makers you do with your hands"

Little finger bells, "chingy-ching, ching things" and castanets are popular requests around here, too ,r:;

Me: "Yes this is David"
Caller: "Is this David?"
Me: "Yes it is"
Caller: "I'm looking for a bellydancer. I found your number on your website"
Me: "In that case, you've reached the right place"
Caller: "so, I need a bellydancer. Do you know anyone? Anyone good?
Me: "well, you probably saw some of the pictures on our website when you found our number. So, yes, I can definitely help you"
Caller: "but, I am looking for a bellydancer"
Me: "Well, I am a bellydancer and I teach a good part of the leading dancers in the area at the Ethnic Dance Academy here in town"
Caller: "Yes, but I am looking for a bellydancer"
Me: "I am a bellydancer"
Caller: "Wait, but you are a man?"
Me: "Yes, I am"
Caller: "So YOU bellydance?"
Me: "Yes, and we also have several professional dancers that work with us and study with us. so if you are not looking for a male belly dancer - we'd be happy to provide you with a female dancer...if that's more what you are looking for"
Caller: "good, but, tell me. What makes you want to bellydance?"
Me: "I dance - and teach - ethnic dances from the Middle East and India and the EDA offers classes in many different bellydance styles from these areas as well as Turkey and the US"
Caller: "so I have to book you if I want a bellydancer? I dont know if the elderly people at our [insert event] will be ok with that"
Me: "I totally understand your position and we would be happy to provide you with a female dancer"
Caller: "No thank you, I think I will just call some other bellydancer. My friend had this bellydancer - I think her name was [insert name of my student]. I will just get her number and call her. thank you for your help".
Me: (just not bothering to go into the long explanation about XX dancer being my student and YES she is a woman and NO she does not dance like a man) "ah, well I am sorry I couldnt be of more help and I highly recommend [insert student's name here]. Good luck with your [insert event here]"

Oh and this one:

Me: "Yes this is David"
Caller: "Hello, I want to book a bellydancer"
Me: "well you've certainly reached the right place then"
Caller: "Yes, but I dont want typical, I want something different. It is for a party and people find typical very boring. You know, we see a lot of bellydance."
Me: "Well, I am sure we can be of assistance with that. Do you think a male bellydancer is different enough?"

Continued version 1:
Caller: "oh, I dont think that is good for our party. Do you know something more normal?"

Continued version 2:
Caller: "Oh that'd be awesome!"

Continued version 3:
Caller: "really? I didnt know men bellydance"
Me: [insert short rant about male dancers here]

mind you, these are people that find our number on one of our 2 websites that CLEARLY state my name along with pictures and text....lol

David, I have to tell you, those are priceless!!! ..l;, I have no idea how you keep a straight face.

Woman calls me says she got my phone number from my website.She then asks if it is really me in all the pictutres..I say yes and they are all recent pictures. She than says do you have any costumes like the bellydancers wear..

Uhm the pics on the website are me in many different real costumes. LOL

Originally Posted by david

Continued version 1:
Caller: "oh, I dont think that is good for our party. Do you know something more normal?"

,r:;

These are priceless! I don't have any good ones to share, I get the same one about music all the time -- even when I tell the client I'm planning a 30 minute show with my group.

But I don't think I would have been any less clueless before I started taking classes, like Leyla Fahada said. So I try to be patient with them.

LOL!

Originally Posted by LeylaFahada

I get there and the DJ tells me that no, he's using an iPod, no CD capabilities, but no worries, he brought music for us! I asked what he meant, he said, "you know, middle eastern stuff - like dub beats."

I hate when people think plugging in their iPod is DJ-ing. We call them MP3Js.

I get music, outfits, finger things. How much do you charge for me is a D'uh! because it's on my website in Burgandy and white for the world to see.

Some days I wonder at the intellegence level of the average internet user. . .

{{{HUGS}}}

Originally Posted by katja

Bwahahahahahhhaaaa muahahhahhaaa ..l;,..l;, ..g.:

clackity noice makers...... finger clackers.....

that made my day, hilarious!

Well, hell, that's what mine tend to sound like, send 'em my way. ..g.:..g.:..g.:

Originally Posted by kazoogrrl

I hate when people think plugging in their iPod is DJ-ing. We call them MP3Js.

..l;, That's a perfect term. I also hate it!

Looking back to college, when my friends came over and I'd fire up WinAmp and make a playlist, I should have charged for my DJing services!

Originally Posted by katja

Bwahahahahahhhaaaa muahahhahhaaa ..l;,..l;, ..g.:

clackity noice makers...... finger clackers.....

that made my day, hilarious!

oh, you mean those chicka ching thingies?

..l;,..l;,DaVid, I'm sitting at work at my desk laughing like a fool! These are priceless! ..l;,..l;,

Originally Posted by latriamou

let's see.
are you middle eastern? (doesnt it say GREEK all over my website?)
i get the bring your own music all the time.
what are you going to do when you get here?
ummmmmm, dance?

How many of us use our real names? Aren't we in the entertainment genre? I don't because "Bonny" doesn't exactly sound like anything Middle Eastern - Turkish or Greek for that matter. We are all real people outside of the dance, meaning we do not run around in our bedlahs all the time! (Although some people wish we would! ) So when I get questions like these I just want to start laughing and say, "ya think!" But of course, I'm real nice, because a lot of people are mostly just curious, knowing so little about bellydance. It's the others that I have to use a lot more patience for like when someone at an airport asked how I felt about dancing in so little clothes! So I told her the only thing "naked" is my stomach - and I guess you could include my shoulders and arms too but it's okay to dress with even less than that when you are doing ballet, jazz or modern dance!

Originally Posted by Fotia

How many of us use our real names? Aren't we in the entertainment genre? I don't because "Bonny" doesn't exactly sound like anything Middle Eastern - Turkish or Greek for that matter. We are all real people outside of the dance, meaning we do not run around in our bedlahs all the time!

Yes, and I actually had a client fire me because she showed up unannounced to a class I was teaching, saw me in a sports bra, yoga pants and a fresh face (I DON'T get dolled up for class), and deemed me unacceptably non-ethnic for her little brat's bat mitzvah. She hired another dancer who is just as non-exotic as I am in class attire - but I think this lady wanted sooooooooo badly in her head to believe that we all ride unicorns and go grocery shopping in our Bellas.